#about gray

[reimeichan]

I've been really open at work about having DID, and that's great and all except for the fact this one guy is SCARY GOOD at clocking specific alters???? Like to the point he recognizes when it's an alter he hasn't met yet that's fronting???

Him, as I over-apologize for something: So which one of yall is the one that constantly apologizes? P sure it's not one of the guys I normally see.

Me-as-Cyan, sweating: How did you figure out that's a different alter from the ones you've already met and also hi I'm Cyan

Also him, as I'm bouncing around making drinks: hi Little Reimei

Me-as-Yellow: ???? I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING

Also him, noticing the fact I went from "I love doing dishes" to "ugh please no more dishes": Okay I know that was Gray earlier, who are you?

Me-as-Purple: YOU NOTICED ME SWITCH BEFORE I DID????

And it's not just him, a few of the other baristas and shift leads also can tell apart some of the fronters (mostly when it's Green, Purple, or Yellow) or even note when we've switched.

Anyways uh. I don't think my system is super covert guys XD

[sunshines-bee-farm]

How many stuffies do you have??

Hello! Countless 😭😭 here are some of my favorites!!

The minecraft pig was hand sewn by my pop pop/system partner!!! And the purple bunny was crocheted by him!!

[grayscaleskies]

I was tagged by @coulson-is-an-avenger for this!! Thank you Mossy!!!

fave color: Emerald green! But I love pastels, and purple is always up there! Also grey as a neutral 😉

currently reading: I have not read a book in a disturbingly long time, but does Keep Me Conscious count?? (Fic by @coulson-is-an-avenger , go read it!!)

last song: Feed Me (Git It) from Little Shop of Horrors! Also Metaphor by the Crane Wives

last movie: Incredibles 2, but that was a rewatch, last new movie was the Game (1997)

last series: I recently rewatched Green Eggs and Ham again but last finished show was Ragnarok and FMAB!!

sweet, spicy, or savory: I have a HUGE sweet tooth, but I usually alternate between sweet and savory for the stimulus :)

currently craving: I just got up (shh) so...not much? Though I usually start craving my strawberry shortcake ice cream bars in a few hours, or sour cream and onion pringles!

coffee or tea: I don't drink coffee, so definitely tea! Though mostly like...sweet tea and chai tea lattes? Still working on liking regular tea thanks to Sahar's best efforts 💖

currently working on: @pocketsizedquasar 's DTIYS!! I have all the linework done, tonight I can start on flats!

tagging: Anyone who wants?? @thatsrightzoeyeyyemain-art @pocketsizedquasar @bagginshield

[olivia--caliban]

i was tagged by @gellavonhamster!! thank you Natalia!!! 🖤✨🖤✨🖤✨

1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Gray mostly. or Mistress Of Darkness it’s nbd really

2. when is your birthday?

i’m a Cancer! late July

3. where do you live?

Australia! on the east coast of Queensland (hot. not ideal)

4. three things you are doing right now?

listening to Kylie Minogue and Bucks Fizz, thinking about both Olivia, Jacquelyn and Esmé (girlfriends!!!) and my dotters, idk i want to design smthn but its like. 21:00? too late for that

5. four fandoms that have piqued your interest?

- definitely ASOUE, particularly the SBG’s members - i mean not so much fandoms but i’ve watched multiple shows with Sara Rue (Less Than Perfect, Impastor, B Positive when i can find it somewhere) and Lucy Punch (Vexed, Motherland) and Catherine O’Hara (Schitt’s Creek) but i don’t really like. do much fandom-wise for them?  - follow my main for What We Do In The Shadows post reblogs - i started watching Animaniacs 2020 this weekend and that’s fun

6. how has the pandemic been treating you?

i’ve had it very lucky. Queensland has 14 cases i’m hoping are all in hotel quarantine, and our borders are still shut to most of the other states. i haven’t been in a government mandated lockdown as such, it’s hard to lock down rural Queensland where i live. i’ve been working inside my workplace the whole time; apparently if we did go full batten down the hatches my workplace is essential (??). i will admit i’ve done a tiny bit of socialising since March, just with family friends who haven’t left my county (farming families who have been in the middle of the crushing season). it’s sucked watching other people my age party while i’ve been at home almost every weekend. but i’d rather be fine than riskin it for the biscuit

7. a song you can't stop listening to right now?

i mean spotify says these

8. recommend a movie

i’m not good at recs lol!! but Gypsy 83 is great. younger Sara Rue plays a Stevie Nicks-adoring 20-something goth who with her only goth friend Clive takes a road trip to NYC to partake in the 2001 Night Of A Thousand Stevies. bangin soundtrack, amazing goth and rural America vibes, Gypsy is my basis and faceclaim for Book!Olivia. heads up for some 2001-era homophobia and fatphobia content, though.

Sara is just.... so pretty

9. how old are you?

you’re onto me 🦇 (i’m over 18. 20′s. maybe 1920′s. can’t remember)

10. school, university, occupation, other?

apprentice 👁

11. do you prefer heat or cold?

i honestly do not know. weather i can wear my black spray jacket in is good. for most of winter this year i was walkin around town in a t-shirt, denim shorts, my black spray jacket and my fake docs which was enough to keep me warm

12. name one fact others may not know about you

i have painted on bones before and i want to do it again

bonus i don’t rly consider myself goth? if i do like, have a term it’s more 80′s new wave. i am always, always wearing black (my work uniform is black!!!) and i adore many aspects of goth and witchcraft but i’m not very good at like. practicing if that makes sense. i don’t think wearing black and idk painting on bones one time, reading web pages on historic deaths and disasters and cemetery records, and listening to The Cure, The Smiths, Joy Division, really like. makes me goth. new wave fits my t-shirt/shorts/fake docs fit i wear since it’s fuckin hot here, the Duran Duran, Split Enz, The Dugites etc in my music taste (the Bucks Fizz is just my brain’s gay chemicals). and the fact that the one time i went to a cemetery out of my county to see if nosy people who know my parents was keeping me out of my local ones, i found it’s the fact that i’m even shy around the dead. like. i’m more new wave. freak also works i’ll gladly take that title from Hugo, Colette and Kevin the Farm Siblings if they don’t want it.

13. are you shy?

i mean i did just say i’m shy around the dead. kinda explains how i see the living lmao

14. preferred pronouns

she/her

15. biggest pet peeves

living in a small county when i’m a) a lesbian b) potentially neurodivergent (undiagnosed). i can’t think of any other pet peeves now but i’ll remember when they unfold right in front of me

16. what is your favorite "-dere" type?

dude i had to google that. i myself am like. bakadere and dandere lmao

17. rate your life from 1 to 10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be

7? maybe? i don’t know really

18. what's your main blog?

@gray-zelle

19. list your side blogs and what they're used for

- this one is for Snicketverse content and idk i may get one to post fic to

20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

with internet/fandom mutuals i’m big chillin most of the time and internet friends are fun! come say ey if you want! i am like. a little weird but you’ll get used to it it’s all g

irl like. it’s best in advance if people know yeah i am a bit weird (to the average person) but i’m not like. too weird. also we don’t have to meet in person all the time/much i’m happy to just message. i’m chill. when it comes to finding friends i usually just assume that people my age have their own friends and don’t want to add another friend to the gang they’ve got going which yea is fair enough i understand. sucks a little but oh well

i am going to tag. @mscarolinebingley @mssqualor @kitsnicketts @beatricebidelaire​ @olivia-caliban​ @oliviacalibans​ @drpinkky​ @atwq​ @everytuesday​ @do-doctors-dream-of-magic-sheep​

if you want!! and anyone else who sees this post and would like to!!

[gray-zelle]

Jan 2020 vs Sept 2020

here

[domitxnate]

Three people you most wanna fuck in the institute?

Who I haven’t already? Mmm that’s tough.

That new girl is pretty hot. I dunno much about her, but she’s got. @undefinednoelle

Gray is real hot, but he’s so quiet I dunno much about him either. @subgrayhudson

And Blaine. I definitely wanna fuck him assumin everyone involved would be okay with it. @submissivexblaine

[reimeichan]

"How did Reimei realize they're a system?"

I mean do you want the Purple version of the story where she tried to ask OC!Gray what his favorite color was and was so convinced it was green only for said "OC" to insistently answer back that it was gray every time?

Or do you want the Cyan version of the story where a chandelier nearly fell on me and I saw my life flash before my eyes and it shocked my psyche so bad that in my dissociated state I downloaded Tinder, paid for premium, swiped right on as many people as I could so that I could lose my virginity because that somehow makes sense as something to do after nearly dying to a chandelier falling on you. And then when I woke up the next day to hundreds of matches and a planned fuckdate, I freaked out, canceled the date, deactivated my account, uninstalled the app, and then later that night another stream of thought introduced herself as Rouge in my brain and I had no control over what she said or did and it freaked me out so much I did genuinely wonder if I have DID but surely not, surely I'm just losing it because I had a crazy near-death experience that sounds absolutely batshit insane whenever you try to recount it to anyone.

Like technically these both separately count as system discovery stories but like. I dunno I think The Chandelier Incident is more iconic.

[reimeichan]

TW Car Accident (I'm safe, nothing graphic described)

Was on my way home from work when I happened to be the sole witness to a car accident take place right in front of me. I'm physically fine as I wasn't directly involved. Nobody was seriously injured from what I could tell, and I managed to give my number and information to the appropriate parties involved.

However... the DID of it all is hitting me pretty hard as I look back on all this that took place not even 3 hours ago. I know for sure that I experienced a split when the accident happened, as I have a noticeable hole in my memory there and no matter how hard I (Mint) try to actually recall what happened I get nothing. However, another part of me (let's call him Gray) has supplied me with the necessary script to tell the officer at the scene: "I don't have a great memory myself, and I don't remember which car hit which car, but I do remember that the <color1> car was in front of the <color2> car and the <color1> car tailspun before they both pulled over to the shoulder with me." And I trust that the script that Gray provided me is, indeed, accurate to whatever we witnessed, even if I currently don't have access to those memories.

Additionally, we decided to stay at the scene and wait for the authorities to show up. And when the first responders showed up and told us that we were free to go so long as we shared our contact info with the affected parties, our resident little Yellow would immediately pop to front and say "That's okay, I'd rather stay if that's alright!" And each time that happened I found myself trying to rationalize why I would say that. Was I trying to be altruistic to make sure the others involved in the accident were okay? Was I staying behind because I knew there would be a language barrier between the officers and the affected parties and wanted to give as accurate an account as I could to minimize any potential for discrimination or miscommunication? And then I realized.... oh. It's because Yellow LOVES being in high adrenaline situations and finds it "fun" and "exciting" to "experience new things for the first time" (in this case, being a witness to a car accident). And she wanted to be there until the very end.

And to top it all off, I realized that I was dissociating pretty hard throughout the whole thing. I was rocking back and forth (which is my go-to self-soothing stim) and would find myself staring off into nothing, not really thinking about anything. As the go-to alter to front during crisis situations like this, I'm usually disconnected from my emotions and thus present as having a very stoic and emotionless affect, but I was aware that due to the adrenaline my muscles were tensed up and my heart rate was elevated. But I was presenting as calm, cool, and even a bit bored. Except for the times Yellow fronted. Then, I'd be peppy and excitable and smiley.

But... yeah. It was def interesting to note just how different parts of my system was reacting to this entire situation. I'm really glad that I can have this kind of insight into my psyche now lol.