Happy wincest Wednesday! It's been too long since I've done this. I keep forgetting when it's Wednesday, lol.
Case in point: I meant to ask this one last week for aro week. Any aro Dean Wincest headcanons? Just like... Particular ways you think it does or doesn't impact the relationship. Or how it changes how they get together. Or their opinions on monogamy or the relationship in general. Or changes the sex. Or like. Anything.
Happy Wincest Wednesday, @schizosamwincester !
My main headcanon regarding aro Dean + Wincest is that they operate mostly as a qpr, except they have few physical boundaries and sometimes they fuck. When it comes to their sexual relationship, to them it's different from relationships with other people. Their relationship isn't really defined, but outsiders might call it "open." Dean just calls it being brothers---listen, they've had their hands all over each other's wounded and dead bodies, what difference does it make if they get into each other's guts for orgasm purposes, too? Especially when Dean strikes out at the bar and Sam is in a giving mood?
Late seasons Sam isn't threatened by Dean's sexual proclivities, because he knows Dean isn't looking to settle down (with anyone else), and as great as they can be together, and as wild and kinky as they can get, Dean's appetite is bigger than Sam's, largely because I also headcanon gray/ace Sam. Though Dean can still get jealous when Sam has the rare outside hookup, because Dean gets a complex about Sam's romantic attachments, and what kind of white picket fence life he's keeping his brother from. Dean can be a little oblivious to the fact that Sam gets a good bit of romantic fulfillment from spending his time with Dean.
Dean doesn't really know about aromanticism for a long time, until things settle down post-Chuck and Sam brings it up. Even after that, Dean doesn't really like being introspective enough to label himself. He is what he is---they are what they are. Mostly Dean just thinks he tried the relationship thing and it wasn't for him. It felt like pretending to be someone else, and he does enough of that while hunting that he needs to be able to be himself at home. When he'd "settled down" with Lisa, it had been easier to fall into the role of family caretaker than it had been to fill the boyfriend/husband role. Even the idea of settling down with another hunter doesn't really tickle his fancy. He's got Sam to spend time with and understand him, and he doesn't have to worry about dating and domesticity---well, except when he worries that maybe Sammy wants more than this...whatever it is they have.
Sam knows all his brother's insecurities, but trying to reassure Dean can toe the line past chick flick moment into smothering, and then Dean gets antsy. It doesn't help matters that Sam's relationship to sexual attraction usually requires an emotional connection, because that's the real threat whenever Sam feels like fucking someone else.
Maybe sometimes Dean fantasizes about a girl or guy he's fucking coming back with him to play house with Sam, like he's taking interviews for Sam's spouse---but beyond the wank fodder of it, Dean's interest in it fizzles out when he tries to imagine it longterm. What are they gonna do---Sam handles the romance while Dean handles the fucking? What if Dean didn't feel as attracted to the new person once they settle in? What if Sam decided that new person was all he needed, and went off to make a new family, sans Dean? What if they're not even worthy of his brother, pretty as they may be?
Besides, Dean doesn't want to have to pretend they're not brothers when they're fucking. And, anyway, who besides Dean can Sam really let go all the way with?
Then they'll get back on the road, driving away from whatever hookups, and go back to being brothers fighting over music and directions and where to stop for dinner...with maybe a pullover for a handjob and a beer. And maybe Sam peeks over at Dean while they're looking at the stars in companionable silence, the smell of the road and the hunt and their spunk between them, and smothers his smile with the lip of the beer bottle before Dean catches on to how Sam finds the whole thing to be damn romantic.
