#ace ally

[ririwithrice]

don’t infantilise ace people give them all of your money and car

[the-little-fox-in-the-box]

Since first organisms reproduced asexually, being LGBTQ is older than being straight, therefore more natural. Happy pride everyone

[heyftinally]

So it's nearing the end of ace week, and although I've celebrated, I haven't been successful in making the post I've wanted to make, despite a number of attempts. So instead, I'm just going to do this quick and dirty, unedited style.

Aspec allies, I need you to understand something very important: asexuals and aromatics are capable of consent, even if it feels "weird" to you.

Let me elaborate.

Disclaimer: I'm speaking exclusively on my ace allorom experience, as that's what I know best.

One of my ex's, while mostly great, had a really big hang up about consent. Namely, they never fully believed I was truly consenting to any and every act of physical affection. Despite numerous conversations where I swore up, down, and sideways that I would tell them if I wasn't comfortable, multiple attempts to find ways I could alleviate their concerns, and countless attempts to explain my experiences to help them see my perspective, they just couldn't get behind it. Part of them always felt like they were in some way taking advantage of me or pressuring me.

It felt...really uncomfortable. I'm an adult. I have full agency over my body and my choices concerning it. I'm fully capable of knowing where my own boundaries are, and it's my job to communicate them. It's my partner's job to trust that I'm being truthful.

So to constantly feel like I'm being babied, or that my word isn't enough to prove that I'm not lying about my boundaries, or that I somehow need special treatment around physical affection solely because I'm asexual, it felt like I was having my autonomy taken from me, in a way. Despite what I was saying, they still believed I couldn't possibly *really* be comfortable with what I was agreeing to (even things as innocent as kissing).

After we broke up, it really messed me up for a while, thinking that I somehow hadn't communicated well enough, or, worse, that I made them uncomfortable just by being who I am. And that right there is a terrible feeling, but it's essentially what happened - my asexuality made them uncomfortable. And rather than unpacking that and working on it, they continued to put these insecurities on me and expect me to repeatedly comfort them and more or less apologize for my sexuality. At least, that's how it felt.

Don't do this. It's exhausting to constantly have this weight on you that your partner feels like predatory just for being with you, and it's exhausting constantly having to come up with ways to explain our experiences in ways that we hope will make sense.

It's fine to talk about it, but please, put in the effort and do the work to unpack your hang-ups and misconceptions.

We're adults. Whole, autonomous adults. We can set boundaries and give consent, and we have a right to be able to do so. Let us have that autonomy. If you wouldn't be this hung up on your non-asexual partner's ability to give consent, don't be about ours. Just because our experiences are different doesn't change our ability to give (and revoke) consent.

[sandygarnelle]

An easy way to explain asexuality is that you may get "horny" but you never get the "awooga!"

[boobexplosion]

being in queer spaces for 8 years watching the cycle repeat. remembering 4 years ago when it was "aces have aven". part of growing and changing is accepting that for the rest of time there's always gonna be stupid fucks. dont forget kalvin is on your side about aros/aces not being wanted.

please remember this is not how irl queers act. when you go to house parties and clubs the people who say you dont belong stay online. because exclusionists dont get invited to queer parties

if i see anyone on the dash tn bash aros or aces im going to find your address

[iwantchurchthecat]

I'll say it again!

Kazu best boi!!

He's definitely the best!!!

Yes baby. You are awesome. You show em all!

The best ally of em all!!

[starlightinhumanform]

😚😚😚

***ace/aro exclusionist dni. you will be blocked immediately. i don’t have the time or energy for your stupidity***

[pickle-the-lad]

I've been planning on drawing pictures of my A-Spectrum OC's for aceweek, then I couldn't...

My sister got a job and I've been adjusting on the homestead, so instead, I'm giving some of my A-Specs head canyons!

Feel free to rb with your A-Specs head canyons too💖

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing- of Hellsing [Don't watch the show if you're squeamish]

To be honest: I've only watched one series of hellsing, so if this evidence that proves my HC wrong, then okay. But! I don't remember ever witnessing her have any interest in anyone and don't see her doing so! I think she a Asexual Aromantic Queer💖 and is the most badass character!

Entrapta and hordak - of DreamWorks' She-Ra and the Princesses of Power.

My HC:

Entrapta: sex seeking Asexual, Panromanic or Omniromantic with an masc-spect people or a xin preference.

Hordak: "GNC" Voidgender Male/Demiboy, who's either demi-sexual or a sex neutral asexual.

I freaking love these two💖💕💖💖💕

I'll RB with more later. love y'all💖