Synopsis: Ace praises you like his own personal Goddess, comes apart in worshipping you. Cries about how much you’ve saved him. Begs to show you with his body what he can’t tell you in words. Based on this TikTok (nsfw topic MDNI), that one Hozier song and Paradise Lost. MDNI
CW: fem!reader, p in v, unprotected, creampie, overstim (f!Receiving), oral f!receiving, praise kink (f!Receiving), marineford never happened, slight angst, established relationship, usage of pet names (baby, Goddess, Love), religious themes but mostly you’re getting fucked, obsessive!Ace, oblivious!reader, reader discovers a worship kink, porn with some plot I suppose, desperate!Ace, downbad!Ace, yandere-esque!Ace (in terms of obsession not violence), ServiceDom!Ace, no use of y/n, MDNI
W.C: 6.4k
The words just couldn’t come to him, nothing but 5 measly words scribbled onto the bottom of a page is all Ace could come up with in the 2 hours he’d been sitting at his desk. It wouldn’t be enough, wasn’t enough, didn’t even begin to scratch the surface of enough of how much he loved you. How much he cherishes you, how much you mean to him. It wasn’t like the feelings didn’t exist, just that he couldn’t bring himself to say them. No, rather he couldn’t manage to find words strong enough. All the words he knew turned to dust by the time his brain told his mouth to move. He figured maybe he could write his feelings down, after all Marco had told him that putting pen to paper was a sure fire way to express himself. But putting his emotions into the 2D just wasn’t going to cut it either.
The truth is Ace loved you so much, so much it hurt. No no no wrong again, it wasn’t hurt he felt but borderline lunacy, crazed by the thought of you, barreling towards the brink of insanity and what hurt him was the fact that he simply could not let himself fall in head first. What hurt was his constant need to pull back at the last second, afraid of what you might say, of what you might do, how you might look at him or not look at him at all. He didn’t know what he expected of you but he could see the way the light in your eyes would fade just for a moment, a fraction of a millisecond when he could not return a simple “I love you.” You’d said you understood, given his past and upbringing it made sense that he’d be uncomfortable showing that type of affection. A lover from afar you’d called him. Always playing it cool in front of others but secretly worrying when no one was around. You could see it even with how he talked about his brother Luffy, whenever he would gather everyone around he’d be loud and boisterous, gladly gloating about the latest exploits of his kid brother, but you’d seen him when he was alone too. Secretly sending prayers up to a higher being he wasn’t even sure existed to keep his little brother safe until they could meet again.
It was in those moments both of you had grown close, you being the only person Ace felt safe enough to come apart around. It’d started when you’d found him one day in his cabin after news spread of Luffy’s disappearance on Sabaody Archipelago. Ace had wanted to take a fleet to go rescue his brother and pull him out of his despair the way he’d effortlessly pulled Ace out of his, but no one knew where Luffy had been teleported to. Fearing that he’d lost forever the only thing that truly saved him in his youth, he’d isolated himself to his cabin, the feeling of helplessness so overpowering that Ace had begun to destroy everything around him. The usually levelheaded and cheerful 2nd Division Captain reduced to beastly grief that it seemed no one could pull him from.
Ace hadn’t known how long it was before you, in the self assured yet serene way you did everything, entered his room. You gracefully maneuvered past the debris and furniture broken from his fit of rage, gingerly sitting next to where he laid on the floor staring blankly at the ceiling and then at you. You’d smiled at him, he remembered it so clearly, the kind of smile that softened your eyes and his heart. You rubbed the top of his head so tenderly he’d felt more human in that moment than he’d ever had before. Without thinking he laid his body between your legs, the weight of him pushing you back a bit so that you leaned against the wall behind you. Head on your stomach, arms encircling your waist he felt the first pinpoint of moisture form at the corners of his eyes.
“What if….what if….” He tried to begin, the gravity of the sentence too heavy to vocalize.
“He’s alright Ace, trust me. I can’t tell you how I know, I can just feel it. You’ll see him again Ace, and he’ll be even stronger” you assured him, your words a lighthouse breaking through the storm of his misery, your tone far more confident than any fear he’d had.
He’d needed something to believe in. So he believed in you.
He melted into you, heart put at ease in a way that truly frightened him. In that moment, the peace and calm you’d washed over him with just a few effortless words transformed you from just a crew mate into someone who would always have complete, direct and utter access to his heart. And sure enough, like a vision into the future, what you’d said came to pass, his brother was indeed safe, kept hidden for training on an all woman island. Soon enough he was back in the paper making headlines and Ace was back to bragging to whoever would listen but whenever he did he always looked for you. A silent thank you sitting in his heart. He’d couldn’t bring himself to say it to you out loud but he hoped you understood it in the way he stared down at you, in the way he’d brush a rough hand over yours ever so softly, the way he’d kneel between your legs, caging himself in with your thighs, sucking, licking, drinking at the juices that would pour freely from your core like sacrament, worshipping at the altar that was You.
He devoted your body to memory, his pilgrimage into you treated as the holiest of actions. Your moans, the way you looked up at him while he carved his dedication inside of you, the way his name rolled out from you like commandment with each and every orgasm he gave you.
Beautifully, mercifully.
All these feelings for you and yet he could never say them out loud. He felt pathetic. Standing up he burned the piece of paper he’d been writing on before dragging a hand slowly down his face.
“Is there something wrong Ace?”
With a startle he jumped back and turned accidentally banging into the desk he was just seated at. You’d always appeared before him when he was in some kind of emotional turmoil, his heart instinctively reaching out to you. A huge genuine smile spread across his freckled face before he leaned down, grabbing ahold of your waist and pulling you into him for a kiss.
His lips were hot and hungry and you couldn’t help but sigh into it. You loved the way he always wanted to be near you, how he touched you so reverently. You’d never been handled with such care and grace before that no matter how many times it happened you were always left feeling a little shocked. The truth was that you loved Ace, you loved him the second you’d met him and you knew he loved you too, however….
“I love you Ace” you said, breaking the kiss to look up at him with big beautiful eyes. He looked you over in your velvet red dress but could only give a weak smile in return, wrapping a coil of your hair around his finger.
You’d always said you loved him and he was never able to say anything back but today was the day he would be returning the favor. A day for romance, a day to tell the person you love exactly how you feel. But all he could manage were a few words on a piece of paper and an ever moving knot composed of his complete and utter devotion to you and his self loathing. Shaking the thoughts from head he leaned down again and placed a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.
“Come on, I have a great place for us to eat” and before you could respond he’d grabbed your hand and led you briskly out of the door.
You both returned to Ace’s room well into the evening, for one reason or another Ace took being in your room very seriously though you weren’t sure why, so in an effort to see him as much as possible you stayed with him in his cabin whenever you could. Stumbling a bit you pushed open his door, laughing all the while. It was true what they said about food, drink and song. It was the most fun you’d had on a night out in a while and you hoped that Ace had felt so too, although……
Ace looked dourly at the floor. He felt pathetic. Yes it was true he pulled out all the stops for your date but even still, even as you sang songs of merriment with the locals and other patrons, even as you pulled him out of his seat and onto the dance floor with you, even as your eyes lit up as you watched the fire work display that he himself came up with, even when you turned to him, wrapped your arms around his neck and whispered again in his ear how much you loved him and how thankful you were for the evening, he still couldn’t say it. The only response he could give was the erection that grew slightly in his pants as he felt the softness of your breast press against him. The night was coming to a close soon and all he was able to offer you was his arousal.
He heard the sound of his bed creek and shamefully looked up to see you sitting there, your dress straps hanging down off your shoulders resting on the middle of your arms. The expression on your face looked like one that had just come to terms with defeat. A small smile pulled at the sides of your mouth and Ace could tell that he was almost out of time.
“You know Ace” you said, face turning to look out the window, the moon casting a beautiful glow against your skin. “I understand you’re fond of me, and we have great sexual chemistry but” your voice broke just a bit, almost imperceptible but Ace always hung onto your every word, knew your tone by heart, your cadence his very heartbeat. And right now his heart was breaking. “I don’t mind that aspect of this at all, it’s just that. I feel like I’m forcing you into something” you looked down at your palms that lay face up in your lap, “I feel like we have this magnetic draw to each other, like it was fate that we’ve even met. I’d always felt that way. And after that incident with Luffy it felt like you’d began to see me the same way.”
Please don’t please don’t.
“But you never say you love me. I thought tonight you would especially after the fireworks but still, no matter what I do you never say it back to me and I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
No no no no no no no no no no.
“It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way but please, if that’s the case, I don’t think we should continue on like this. I can’t take it.”
Your words shifted the earth beneath him, casting him out of your light and into a pit of fiery darkness. Exile. His own inability had led him to exile. No. There was no way he was willing to lose you, there was no way he was willing to let you think his devotion to you began with the tip of his dick and ended at the base. Why? Why couldn’t he say we loved you? The emotions grew to a feverish pitch inside of him, dizzily he stumbled forward, falling onto his hands and knees, causing you to gasp and reach out to him.
He was drenched in sweat, the anxiety making his blood run cold in his veins. He felt your hands grab his face and force his head up to look at you.
“Ace! What is the matter with you?”
He swallowed, choked and swallowed again.
“Please,” he whispered, placing one of his hands over yours. “Please just let me show you. Please just let me show you just how much you mean to me.”
You were startled by the mix of sincerity and desperation in his words, the absolute terror he held behind his eyes. Wanting to do anything you could to soothe him, to cure whatever ailed him, you nodded your head. Ace placed an almost delicate kiss on the side of your face right along your jawline before standing up and walking almost reverently to his closet. The door to his closet had always stayed closed and Ace never wanted you to go near it, always saying he was embarrassed by the mess in there, an excuse you didn’t believe but honored anyway. Now, as he opened the door to it you could see why.
The shock of what you saw had you gasping, jumping up off his bed with your hands flying to cover up your mouth. The closet was adorned with you. The small walk in space was completely draped in red silks all along the walls from top to bottom, on the floor were boxes of various heights and sizes situated in a crescent shape that opened towards the door. On some of these boxes rested well used white candles, all of them different sizes and with burnt wicks, and on others were pictures that he’s taken of you whenever you both went out, pictures of you smiling on the deck of the Moby Dick, picture with faces that you’d make at him when you both scoured islands trying to find what you’d rate the best restaurant there. Ace began to kneel onto what appeared to be a red silk floor bed that he had unfurled and with his massive frame out of the way you could finally see the large painted portrait of yourself situated solely in the middle of a narrow table behind the boxes. In the very middle of his shrine.
You inched closer to him and this shrine he’d made of you. A part of you wanted to run, it was such a complete 180 to the person you knew, or thought you knew, but another part, a larger part felt deeply moved by this display and strangely a heat began to radiate against your skin from the inside out. Ace had used his devil fruit powers to light all the candles in the closet at once and stood up to turn to you.
“Usually I light them one at a time but right now I can’t focus on anything other than showing you exactly how much you mean to me” And with that Ace claimed your mouth pulling you into him in a feverish kiss. It was dizzying, it was as if his mouth was everyone on you all at once.
Moaning into him you ran your fingers through his hair, you weren’t surprised by the way Ace kissed you so hungrily, he always did. He always kissed you like he was offering himself up to you, offering you to take him whole, to devour him in the foreplay to your love making. But this time it felt different, mixed with his clear desperation was a level of acquiesce you’d never gotten from him, as if finally he could fully give himself completely over to you and you alone.
“Ace…” you signed against his parted lips, “I need you…” without so much as a word or a second though Ace lifted you up effortlessly, wrapping your legs around his waist as he secured his arms along your back and ass to steady you in his hold. He placed you gently down on your back against the red silk bed, careful not to catch you on any of the fires lapping on the candles. He began kissing you slowly up and down the side of you neck, sucking and nipping at the flesh there. He wanted to mark you, everything in his body said to mark you in a way others could see. Prior to this he’d left no trace on you that he’d ever touched you or been inside you, always opting to kiss your skin instead of suck, always opting to use protection to shield your holy body from his cum. Yet now, he felt like a man unleashed, a man who had nearly run the risk of being cast away from the warmth of the light of his soul’s savior
“Ace…what is all this?” You asked almost breathlessly, finally truly seeing it now that you were completely surrounded by it. Removing his lips from your skin he looked down at you, you were positioned meekly, like an unsuspecting lamb, beneath him, his massive body keeping your legs separate.
“Devotion.”
His lips were fanatical, crashing against yours then melting into you with a moan. You allowed him quick and easy access to your tongue which he thankfully twirled with his own, a trail of spit connecting the two muscles before he took your tongue into his mouth and sucked on it. His large hands roved all over your body in equal parts reverent and ravenous. One hand settled on your hips, pressure added there to make sure you stayed in place, he needed you to stay exactly where he wanted you so he could properly stake claim to your body the way you had staked claim to the very essence of him. His mouth moved again, this time following behind his other hand while it undressed you, rolling down the fabric of your dress. He licked every single place his other hand touched before it came to a stop against your breast. Groping and fondling you without mercy as his mouth sucked in your pebbled nipple.
“Ace!” you could barely contain yourself, the sensation a hotter fire than any of the flames on the candles surrounding you combined. Ace hummed his approval as he swirled your nipple against his tongue and sucked it.
“That’s it, say my name exactly like that. Look at me exactly like that” he said peering up at you, never allowing your nipple to fully leave his mouth. You hadn’t noticed that with a few simple touches of his, your eyes had already begun to glaze over. You bucked your hips, growing needy for evermore sensation, needing to feel in earnest the promises of the clothed erection Ace sported in his shorts. Never one to neglect any part of you he made sure to play with your other nipple while groping your breast. Knowing you, sensing you, he could tell there was a wetness already pooling between your legs as he ground down on you, once, twice, three times each sensation sending a lightening bolt of heat directly to your core and as if you and Ace shared one mind he reached his hand away from your breast, sinking it lower and lower slowly trailing his fingertips until they grazed gently against the fabric covering your pussy.
“Mmmm Ace, touch me right there please!” you slide on the silk of the floor bed, bucking your hips up yet Ace held you down with the hand he’d placed on your waist. Ace lifted his face up, planting his forehead against yours as he applied slight pressure to where he knew his fingers met with your covered clit.
“I know you’re eager my Love, let me do all the work, you don’t have to beg me for a thing.”
You relaxed into the sensation of his fingers as they hooked into the waistline of your panties and dragged them slowly from your body. Without pause he lowered himself on your body, coming face to face with the wetness that had welled between your legs. Slowly, maybe even teasingly, gliding his tongue up and down between your folds. You sighed deeply already feeling your body start to tremble as he worked the muscle into syrupy circles around your clit, he always knew exactly how you liked to be pleased.
“Yes baby that’s it, right there~” you grabbed onto your breast playing with your nipple with one hand and latched onto a fistful of his hair with your other. Instinctively you ground his face down into your mound making sure to feel every lick of his tongue against you, making sure to feel every breath of heat coming through his nose and mouth on your already hot core.
Humming his approval, Ace watched your face as your expressions changed from tense anticipation, to relief, to the beginning stages of your climax, matching the pace of your breathing as it hitched through all the letters he spelt on your sensitive clit. Yes, as always he wrote Ace’s Goddess again and again, over and over against you and as usual, it had you mewling out the sweetest sounds.
“Ace, baby~ It feels sooo good,” you licked your lips, pinching the nipple that you’d been playing with, “I’m getting so close,” half lidded eyes caught his, Caught in the intensity of the building heat at your core, Ace knew exactly what you needed to help you finish.
“Is that so, my Love? Let me taste you, let me feel you,” he cooed, slipping one finger and then another into you working you overtime. Lightning struck your body as Ace found that spongy spot on the inside of you and pressed it firmly rubbing the calloused pads of his fingers against it. Almost absentmindedly you noticed it, the pattern of his tongue, the pattern of his fingers on your G spot, they matched, almost perfectly in sync. You could feel the lettering better on the inside Goddess Goddess Goddess Ace’s Goddess, it spelled out you were sure of it.
“Ace!”
Your eyes snapped open the realization hitting you at the same time your orgasm did, the newfound knowledge sending you careening into the most intense orgasm you’d ever had. Stars, there were stars amongst the dancing flames of the shrine Ace had built in honor of you. You almost couldn’t breath, Ace had yet to let up lapping on your juices that overflowed from your body while massaging you from the inside. Had he always been doing that? Your pussy clenched at the thought, shocking you how much the thought turned you on. All of this was for you, in everything he did Ace thought of you, honored you, worshiped you in the only way he knew how. Lapping, sucking, massaging, you could continue to hear the wet sounds of his mouth clashing obscenely with the wetness gushing out of you.
There were stars all around you as you came down from the high of your orgasm, breathless, a thin layer of sweat coated your body as your chest heaved up and down. You hadn’t realized how tight the grip you had on his hair had gotten until Ace had tried to come up for some air.
“Sorry baby” you looked at him sheepishly and he rose up to a kneeling position between your open legs. “I really don’t know what came over me I-”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me at all” he licked his lips, getting the last of your juices from around his mouth, “Just say my name, say my name and tell me how you want me to please you.”
“I want you inside me Ace, I love you, I want to feel you inside me” you said, gliding your hands down towards your wanting pussy. Ace had imagined this hundreds, no thousands of times though he’d never dreamed it would be reality. He’d made love to you countless times before and each encounter was a blessed one in his heart but this was something far more profound. Finally, he could show you the true depths of his love as he gave you orgasm after orgasm in his most sacred space.
“Your wish is my command,” he growled out in a voice far lower than anything you’d heard from him before as he positioned himself at your entrance. Sinking himself into you he fell on top of you. You felt the long, slow, stretch as your pussy tried its hardest to accommodate the sheer size of him. Ace had always been big but something about being in this confined space with him on a bed of fine silks had him feeling so much bigger you thought you might split in two. The sweet pulsating ache of Ace stuffing you full of his cock had you gasping, the feeling of the silk bunching up against your skin as he started to push further into you, as if he wanted to reach the very depth of your soul. You held onto his shoulders tightly and he supported his weight with his arms on either side of your body. In a primal urge of needing to feel him even closer, even deeper, you wrapped your legs around him causing Ace to groan with an almost beastly lust.
Ace brought his forehead down to yours and began setting his pace in earnest, his hips bucking against yours in a pace that both soothed you and made you ache for more release.
“You’ve always managed to take me so well. All of me,” his breath hitched, punctuated with grunts and groans as the air around you both grew thick with arousal and lust. The praise had your walls fluttering around him, tightening against his shaft almost in a tug of war as he pulled and pushed himself in and out of you. Ace watched as your face contorted with pleasure, sweat dripping from the top of your brow to the back of your head, sweat misted atop your breasts and stomach that reflected the lights and shadows of the candles' flames. You locked eyes with him as he stared down at you. You’d never seen Ace look so gentle, so enthralled, the intensity of his gaze almost too much for you to handle and your eyes began to wander all around the shrine. It was beautiful, it was dedication, it was you.
Everywhere you looked you saw yourself.
“You saved me, you cared for me, you brought me back to life” the words that brought your attention back were tumbling out of him now, words he thought he could never say to you seem to be gushing out of him like a waterfall. “I would truly be a demon’s son if I couldn’t give that life to you”
Everywhere you looked you saw yourself as Ace sees you.
Ace unraveled your legs from around him and pushed them back onto you, your knees pressed against your chest. His pace was maddeningly languid. He used the grip he had on the back of your thighs to leverage himself deeper into you, tackling that juicy spot inside of you that made you see stars. You tilted your hips up, probing him to go deeper, to reach every part of you that you had to offer. The sounds of skin meeting over and over filled and echoed in the confined space. Dizzying, the sound was positively dizzying to you and the way Ace held your thighs, the way you saw yourself in the pictures that hung all around you, looking down at the absolute mess you were becoming as he pumped himself over and over into you had you crying out for more.
You moved your hands to cup Ace’s face, stroking right where his freckles were caught underneath the blush of his cheeks. There is no one more beautiful than you, Ace thought, there’s no one I’d rather dedicate my life to than you.
It made no difference to Ace if there was any higher power above him, just so long as he had you pinned beneath him he would always be sure of his life’s purpose.
Everything he couldn’t say, everything he wanted so desperately to tell you he put into the roll of his hips, deep and slow. I love you, you could feel him saying it to you from the inside out, I love you I love you I love you!
“Ace! I’m cumming!” He began to pick up speed as he pounded into you, you felt as if your hearts had finally been connected. You understood what Ace had been painstakingly trying to tell you. Too much, it was far too much as the sensation overrode your system and sent you head first into another orgasm. Your body trembled from the intense pleasure, feeling almost like static running through your veins. You screamed and moaned your pleasure as your hands moved from his face to dig themselves into his hair.
“That’s it, Goddess. That’s it, bless me with your cum. I only feel fully human when I can make you cum for me.” In truth, Ace was nearing his own orgasm as well but he just couldn’t let this end, he still had so much to show you, so much more to say. And you felt it, in the way his hips rolled slowly bringing you back down you could feel his body connecting with yours in more than just a physical way. You mean everything to me, you felt him say. Before you could answer his unspoken words he flipped you over, maneuvering you expertly in the small space so that nothing of his shrine was disturbed.
“When I’m in the darkness you’re all I can see. I never thought I’d find someone who could fill my heart up like this,” Your face was buried in the sheets of the floor bed, drool escaping your slightly open mouth as Ace drove himself into you with brutal snaps of his hips. Though the pace was rough it still felt measured, his cock drilling into you from behind. You hadn’t fully come down from your last orgasm so the pace Ace was setting had you leaking juices all down your legs and pooling against the sheets.
“Ace please it feels so good I can’t think,” you could barely even get the words out feeling so overwhelmed by his cock slamming into your core, splashing your juices all over himself while his balls slapped against your clit. You felt the way the tip of his dick kissed your sweet spot, the way tears prickled at the corners of your eyes. Your knees started to slip on the silk and Ace began to bear his weight down on your, his chest meeting your back. The more he pounded into you the lower and lower you sunk until you were flat on your stomach, feeling the force of Ace’s weight press you down into the floor bed.
“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamt of this, dreamt of making love to you here” he whispered against the shell of your ear. You whined at the way the vibrations of his voice went straight to your pussy. “I’ve wanted to show this you for so long, but I was afraid you’d reject me” His pace was steady, deep, deep, deep as he could get it in that position
“You’re so tight around me, does it turn you on? Seeing how much I devote myself to you?” You nodded with a moan, you’d always liked it when Ace would praise you during sex. If he could never say he loved you at least he could tell you when you were doing a good job pleasing him. But this was so different that you couldn’t begin to wrap your mind around it. You felt hot in a way that wasn’t fire, you felt loved in a way that was more than love, you felt so many different things it was almost impossible to distinguish between what was real and what was arousal.
He called out your name bringing you back to attention. Ace kissed down your back and whispered something against your spine.
“I-I couldn’t hear you w-what did you-” your fucked out mind tried so hard to keep up but it was like he was everywhere. All over you, in the air, obviously inside of you. You couldn’t think, couldn’t focus on anything more than getting fucked so you hadn’t noticed Ace had been saying something over and over.
“A-Ace…?” just as suddenly as he had flipped you to your knees he flipped you back over into a mating press. Bearing his full weight down on you the tip of his cock kissed the deepest parts of you over and over and over again.
“I love you!” The admission so loud it snapped you out of your stupor. “I love you so much it hurts, so much I'll go crazy. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. I’ll never love anyone like I love you!” Your heart was gonna stop, you were almost sure your heart was gonna stop.
In a moment like this, folded up in a mating press, in a secret shrine Ace had built for you in his closet , he’d told you the words you’d always wanted to hear from him. You couldn’t help but laugh! You pulled him down into a kiss, nipping at his lips, your tongues encircling each other. He moaned into you, “I love you…I love you.” You could barely believe it, your heart was soaring.
“You’re everything to me,” He continued, “my light, my life, my Goddess. I love you so much it’s like I’ve lost my mind. I want you to be everywhere I look, you're like air to me, I need you, I love you, I love you so so much, so much it hurts.” He gazed at you, eyes so intent on you they drilled directly to your heart’s core. He gently caressed the side of your face, brushing a thumb over your wet mouth, “Please don’t ever leave me. Stay with me, yeah? Stay with me forever,” he choked out and you could feel his tears drop onto your cheeks mixing in with sweat and drool as they cascaded down your face.
It touched you so deeply, moved you in ways you never thought possible. You loved him and he loved you too. You nodded to him, wiping away the tears that formed in his eye.
“Of course Ace” you felt his cock plunge deep into you again, “We’ll always be together”
He moved his face to nuzzle into your palm and kissed it. “I’m so close Goddess” he murmured against your hand.
“Me too Ace, I want us to finish together, I want to feel you cum inside me,” Ace’s heart pounded in his chest.
“Anything for you” he said as he glided down towards you planting a feverish kiss on your lips. Every single one of your nerve endings were on fire, set ablaze by his confession of love to you and his ultimate show of devotion. The more your lips crashed together, the more you thought about everything he’d just said the wetter and warmer you got until you felt the familiar knot growing in the pit of your stomach.
“Ace! I’m cumming!”
“Fuck, me too!” Ace thrusted himself into you over and over until he felt you clench around him, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, body arching up off the floor. He felt the wetness pool and gush out of you, coating his lower half in your sweet juices. His own orgasm wasn’t far behind, thrusting once, twice, three more times Ace painted the inside of your walls a milky white, filling you to the brim with his seed pushing it deeper and deeper into you. There was so much of it some had begun to seep out of you, mixing with your juices onto the sheets below you.
You were completely spent. Ace had collapsed on top of you for a moment just to catch his breath before disengaging himself from your body. You whined a bit at the removal of him but he quickly picked you up and brought you over to his bed. You held your knees up to your chest trying to make sure none of his seed dripped out of you and made another mess on his bed. Ace disappeared for a moment into his bathroom and came back out with a wet rag to clean you up. Once you were properly cleaned he took out one of his old shirts and gingerly put you in it. You kissed him lightly on the lips as you sat up on the bed and watched him clean up the space of his shrine.
“You really went all out with…everything,” you chuckled at him as he put out the flames on each candle. He wrapped up the floor bed with the silk sheets and placed it by the door of his room.
“Yeah you can say that,” he laughed too before suddenly becoming serious again. He walked over to the other side of the bed and sat next to you.
“You know,” he started, looking away sheepishly, "I meant everything I said. I’ve loved you for so long now it’s just that, I didn’t want to scare you or lose you when you found out just how much I love you.”
“I admit I was shocked to see all of…that” you said gesturing towards the closet, making Ace blush. “But, I’m more happy than anything! I thought I was forcing myself on you or making you uncomfortable” you said look up at him, and Ace felt sorry he could have ever made you feel that way. “Plus! I found out something about myself, I came so hard in there that I think, maybe we should do that more often? What do you think?” you looked at him teasingly.
AN: Writing is hard, writing smut is harder, writing dialogue is hardest! I am also not religious I just think this concept is hot so if anything seems unrealistic, well baby that’s why. I thought about how much of a fire hazard having a closet shrine with candles in it would be but I mean he’s fire fist Ace and you are his own personal Goddess so I think he’s got everything covered. But don’t try it at home, you might actually burn to death
summary: just ace giving you the most mind-blowing sex
requested: @weasleyjumpeer
reader: fem!reader
disclaimer: piv, references of stalking, reader wears glasses and reads books, squirting, very rushed, reader is slightly shorter than ace, confusing timeline wtf, references of cunnilingus, Ace is referenced to have a big dick (but nothing's explicit about it because it's about technique, not size), unprotected sex-reader might get pregnant uh oh!, manhandling, dirty talking, references of filming/recording, did i mention that it's lowkey rushed... i'm sorry
genre: smut
a/n: hi, hello... its been a minute... so i had multiple factors on why i disappeared, one being that i am a busy woman with a job, went through the loss of a dear family member and other factors I don't want to get into. furthermore, i had a draft ready for this, and i accidentally deleted it, which led to me losing my shit and motivation. but here i am rn, and i hope i don't disappoint thanks to my hiatus. I do sincerely apologize, however, to keep you waiting for three—almost four months.
i hope you enjoy this piece :)
crossposted on ao3
The night bloomed with the moon's gleaming essence shining through the room as it highlighted the discarded clothes thrown due to the immense desperation and lust shared by the two individuals who had known each other not too long, yet not too short.
Ace has had his eyes on you for so long, his friends and crew were just mere muffled background sounds, as you were sat across his with a book laid in front of you on the other side of the cafe. His gaze juxtaposes admiration and lust, with your figure, your hair, your perfect skin, and your facial expressions when the little words on the stack of papers cause you to react subtly, he has been examining you.
Unbeknownst to him, you did catch up to his examination and tried your best to keep your attention away from him. But how could you? You would be lying if you said he wasn't candy to your eyes. Shirtless with tattoos painted all over his body, cowboy hat that concealed the greasy top of his long curly hair, manspreading with his arms splayed across the booth seat behind him and his crew, freckles that can be seen from afar that speckled across his face; he was the embodiment of the protagonist you would read in your dark romance.
His crew set sail on your island for a while and you would see him frequently, wherever you went, it was guaranteed that he'd be there, almost as if he was intentionally stalking you and knew where you were going.
Still, though, you kept your eyes on your book, not giving him the satisfaction of providing him the attention he sought and instead hoping he could grow the courage to come over and ask for a date, or a good fuck.
Ace suddenly stood up, eyes still glued to you, causing his crew to look up at him curiously, as he moved out of his seat and walked over to you, almost like you've entranced him to come over without looking at him.
You sensed a tall presence looming in front of you, resulting you in getting out of the reading world and going back to reality to meet with the fine man standing in front of him. You two held eye contact, almost like you’ve unintentionally entered a staring contest, waiting for one of you to speak. Ace gaped his mouth, wanting to say something but his voice failed him as it cracked, making him clear his throat and scratch his neck, his flustered pink tones radiated up to the surface of his tan skin. You began laughing as you covered your mouth, making Ace’s skin crawl in embarrassment.
“God dammit, I fucked up,” Ace thought to himself, nerves getting the best of him. He should have walked away and faced the music of mockery from his crew, but what he didn’t expect was you extending your hand, signaling him to sit while you pushed the seat away with your foot.
Ace looked down at the chair and then back at you, bemused like a dog getting a new command from its owner, before sitting down while you simply closed the book and put it in your bookbag. You smiled at him as Ace nervously tried to recollect himself.
“Sorry, I am not usually one to stumble on my words… or go through a second puberty,” He muttered the last sentence, in an attempt to make it incoherent for you, yet you heard him loud and clear, making you chuckle in response.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, besides, I think that voice crack was adorable,” You teased, making Ace scoff back at you. You got closer, placing your arms on the table, extending your arm for a handshake, making Ace look down at the hand then back up at your beautiful yet alluring smile.
“I’m (Y/N)”
The curly-haired pirate reached out and shook your hand back, mirroring your grin.
“I’m Ace, but I guess you know that already, since y’know…” He shifted his eyes and cocked his head, which you nodded back as you scrunched your face with a smile as you found him endearing right then and there, pirate or no pirate, he was adorable.
—
Adorable.
Time passed and you once thought he was adorable, and he was, but you assumed he was a nervous wreck with a deceiving look. You certainly didn’t mind breaking his shell, but he certainly exceeded your expectations when he slowly leaned in to kiss you when he wanted to drop you off from your guys’ date. You were astonished by how good his lips were on yours, for a nervous fellow, he sure kisses like he isn’t. When he pulled away, your lips were chasing after his, causing him to smirk as he held your chin firmly, almost like he caught you underestimating him.
“I can do more if you want to, but I’ll save it for another time…” He husked his voice, as he teasingly leaned in, running his thumb across your bottom lips before he leaned back and walked away backward.
“Good night, babe,” His departure almost felt like a mixture of goading yet exhilarating anticipation of what’s to come the next time you see him.
He might be the death of you.
—
Some more time has passed and the term “adorable” is not a word you would give at the moment when he has you wrapping your legs around his hips as he carries you to your bedroom with his lips attached to yours with sheer fervor. As soon as you mentioned that you lived alone, Ace jumped at the opportunity to get closer to you however he wanted. It was a risky move from your end, letting know a man you knew.
He has you where he wanted you to be as you are to his. You gripped the back of his neck and tugged on the hairs revealed from his cowboy hat. With the feverish atmosphere, his hat was tipped back to his back as he pushed you onto a wall and began his attack on your neck. You gasped a beautiful sound that Ace intentionally tried to extract as he nipped on the sweet spot by your neck, making you throw your head back as you began to let out breathy moans.
Ace pulled back and looked down at you, his freckled face was flushed with desire while his eyes had lust and plead shown between his bangs as he pants.
“Where’s your bedroom?” Ace whispered, lips still close to yours and his thirst was quenching the more he looked at you in your most lustful state. You told him where it was through your huffed tone and he didn’t hesitate to carry you into the bedroom before he threw you into the bed with such strength.
He carried you and threw you onto the mattress like you weighed nothing—it seemed as though his muscular physique was not for show after all. You were astonished by his roughhousing, yet he left you no room to react as he pinned you down onto the bed, his large hands encapsulating your wrists with his lips remaining attached to your lips. Your breaths were shaken with anticipation as his lips began their exploration across your soft skin. He tongued from your jaw down to your collarbone, while his calloused fingers reached for the hem of your shirt and began lifting it to expose any skin. With your shirt out of the way, his lips began attacking your body again, this time he began grazing his teeth around the soft skin of your breasts, just above your bra line. You arched your back to allow room for him to reach around and remove your bralette, only for him to pull away, hold onto the fabric, and begin ripping it from the center, leaving the piece ripped in half. You gasped at the sudden motion while he just groaned at the sight of you sprawled half-naked with eyes wide and blown with desire.
“Oh, fuck, baby…” He growled, before reaching down again and began open mouth kissing your supple breasts, making you whine at the exhilarating sensation of his warm mouth around your nipple.
“Ace…~” You breathed with hooded eyes as Ace roamed lower with his hands following along, goosebumps arising from your skin. Ace didn’t respond immediately instead he just smirked looking up at you teasingly as he nipped at your mound.
“Hold on, baby… we’ll be here all night, I just want to give this sweet…” Ace paused looking down at your breasts again and began kissing the side of it and massaging it before leaning onto the other breasts to give it the same attention, “Breasts of yours some love… you’ll let me right?”
—
And some love your breast was given by him, and he meant it.
And many more, as time passed and Ace showed no sign of stopping. His gapped and moaning mouth was covered with nothing but your sweet nectar while his rough hands were gripping your hips as he was thrusting into you at such a pace no man could maintain. His hair fell forward while his necklace swayed along with the beat of his thrusts. Your legs spread as you began screaming out his name while the tip hit a pleasurable spot you never thought existed, a promise that Ace had mentioned while he was getting ready to eat you out.
“I’ll make sure your neighbors know of me as the guy who fucks you good instead of a criminal, no good pirate,” he chuckles darkly as he placed himself between your legs, face inches away from your glistening pussy, “I know you like that shit, I know girls like you would love to be fucked by pirates who do nothing but wreak havoc, am I right, pretty girl? Tell me I’m right because I know I am…”
And Ace maintained that promise as you attempted to cover your face with a pillow due to the volume you were producing thanks to Ace’s rough yet pleasurable thrusts, only for him to chuck the pillow across the room with such aggression and grounds your wrist onto the mattress, leaving you no room to wiggle yourself away.
“No, no, baby, I need to hear you, I need to hear you become a mess for me.” Ace gritted his teeth as he groaned out strings of curse words while you were calling out his name like a prayer.
“Oo~ Ace~ Fuck yes!” You whimpered as the heated sensation was enflaming your insides—a funny correlation with having fire fist Ace ramming his hard cock into your pussy. A pussy that craved nothing but a specific type of pleasure that only a man like Ace can achieve, a one-of-a-kind man, and Ace knew of that and he relishes the fact that your body craves him and him only.
Even though you two don’t know each other for long, you gave him a sense of confidence no girl ever gave him. He knows he’s a good lover, but you made him a lover that a pornstar would envy to have. Especially with how you were writhing underneath him, whimpering out begs and his name.
Ace…
Ace…
Oo fuck me, Ace~
Sounds like he would love to have recorded, it’s a shame he left his den den mushi somewhere in the apartment and a camera back on the ship, he would have used it to his advantage.
The sounds of squelching skin-to-skin sounds, dubbed with your combined moans of pleasure were music to Ace’s ears, especially with how you were approaching your orgasm.
“I’m—fuck—I’m coming!” You whined out as your moans started to border onto panting, making Ace hit a deeper spot as he tried to keep with your pace. He nodded with a smirk as he panted out, “Same here, baby… come on, come for me and I’ll come for you…”
And with those words, you arched your back as Ace sent you to a space where you could only see white with how you rolled your eyes, thanks to the overwhelming pleasure he had put you through. Ace nearly fell on top of you as he landed on your shoulder, biting onto it as he came inside of you. After the two of you began catching your breaths, Ace pulled away to look at you before he placed his forehead and gave you strings of passionate kisses.
He pulled away, not after you bit his bottom lip to bring him back close to you, making him chuckle. You smiled up at him shyly as he just looked at you with such glamor and adoration.
“Wow… no one has ever fucked me like this…” You whispered, making Ace snort out a laugh as he shook his head, “You thought it was over?” Ace responded with a menacing smile on his face.
You widened your eyes, he fucked you this good, and there’s still more?
Your shock state unsettled Ace, his smirk dropped due to the lack of response, “unless you want us to stop—”
“No!” You exclaimed, making Ace flinch and you tight-lipped your mouth shut after you made a fool of yourself. Thankfully, Ace only chuckled and kissed your lips, the intention undetected yet the ardent intensity was present.
“You’re so cute,” Ace comments after pulling away from the kiss. He pulls himself up, only to look down at the scenery below him with a gasped delight. Your eyes followed his, and there you saw was a puddle of your essence staining your bedsheet, mixing with Ace’s pearly cum that fell out your pollen.
You gasped as you felt a rush of embarrassment coursing through you, yet you oddly had no sense of shame in your system. You looked up at Ace, shyly, hoping he doesn’t give you a reason to feel otherwise. Thankfully he leaned in again with another feverish kiss, before pulling back with a smirk, lips barely touching.
“Want us to create more of a mess in the shower? The floor? Or more on the bed? Anything you want, baby, because I’m not done…”
And you hoped it wouldn’t end anytime soon…
characters are owned by oda. i will not tolerate nor accept translation, reposts on other websites, or plagiarism. divider made by mmadeinheavenn.
A/N: I'm a day late to Ace Week, but I really wanted to post this. I'd love to see more ace representation in fanfiction, so I'm doing my part. Plus, this kind of relationship has always been my favorite- there's something about undefined love that makes it perfect. I really like this one, so much that I wrote it while studying for my History exam. I hope you love it too, happy belated Ace Week!
Ghost is the first one to ask about it.
About you.
It’s late, you went to bed an hour ago, and Johnny offered him a beer. They’re looking at the empty front yard, a normal street in a normal neighborhood- a rare sight for soldiers of their kind. The food you and Soap made for the occasion sits warm in their bellies. The air smells of quiet and night.
Simon has known Johnny for a long time- and he has known him well. He didn’t know about this, though. He heard about you, of course. The first time Soap wasn’t sure if he’d make it back home, it was your name he mumbled. Instructions were clear: his dog tags were for you to receive. Along with everything else in his barracks. Ae dinnae care aboot all the rules. Ye gotta take me home tae ‘er.
Ghost knew you weren’t married- he would have seen it in his sergeant’s paperwork. He decided you were his girlfriend, then.
Until someone flirted with Johnny at a bar, and he happily told them he was single. Single. It didn’t lead anywhere, anyway; he came back to base with the rest of the team that night. Maybe he didn’t have a bird at home anymore, thought Simon.
But then there was the roommate. Soap was always talking about the roommate, how she would always leave hairs in the shower, how the laundry detergent smelled like flowers back home. It was said with fondness, the kind of affectionate jab one develops with family or very close friends. Ghost supposed you might be a childhood friend, then. Someone who had always been in Johnny’s life.
Come the end of their last mission, he had nowhere to stay at. His apartment was waiting for him, of course, but it was as empty and cold as any hotel room. His sergeant invited him home- tae meet ma girl. His girl. That was not a relationship status- no friend, no sister or girlfriend. Just girl, his girl.
He had to say yes.
Then there were you. Johnny’s age, bright eyes full of affection when you saw him. Small, soft hands ruffling the mohawk, saying it was getting out of hand. Nodding when he asked for another trim, bonnie, aye?
You hugged him around the neck, face under his chin. Ghost feared you would suffocate his sergeant. But Johnny’s face was pink, relaxed for the first time since before the mission. His arms were at your back, hands rounding your waist- they were used to that place. His nose deep in your hair- Simon felt like he was overstepping, like he wasn’t meant to see that. No one was.
Until you gave a step back- soft smile, soft eyes, soft Johnny- and welcomed him to your home. You called him L.T., like you knew him. Simon suspected you did. You didn’t try to shake his hand or- God forbid- hug him hello. You didn’t even risk a step into his personal space. He didn’t think it was out of fear- you didn’t blink twice at the black surgical mask. You just smiled and gave him a tour of the house.
That was another thing, the house. Tiny and tidy, cozy. Ghost didn’t have much experience with homes, but that’s what it looked like to him. A place lived in, well loved. A place with a past. Even more intriguing, a place with a future. By the way you talked, he gathered you weren’t renting. This place was owned. Something for the long run.
When you got to the hallway, though, you pointed to the last door. That’s my room! You can knock if you need anything, I’m a pretty light sleeper. Then to the one before that: That’s Johnny’s. Then the guest bedroom and the bathroom.
So you don’t sleep together.
Which would have been an answer to his curiosity, if it weren’t for the kitchen. After he left his stuff- a half-empty duffel bag- in the guest room, Simon went back to the small but charming space that is- all in one- your kitchen, living room and dining room. He was still in his soldier headspace, which means his steps were quiet. When he stepped into the kitchen, neither you nor Soap noticed him there.
You were laughing, hand on his bicep, eyes closed. Johnny was smiling. His shoulders down, his face soft. He grabbed your hand and brought you closer in a weird hug. You swayed together, and Simon almost heard the music you were dancing to. It went on for a while. Johnny went to grab a knife and you’d already placed the cutting board in front of him. You grabbed the oven mitt and he opened the oven.
You two are the perfect machine, always knowing where the other is going next. The smiles never falter. For the first time in years, Simon feels like he’s in a home. It’s confusing and startling. How come Soap has this waiting for him? How is he even able to go on deployment, knowing he might not have the chance to dance around you in the kitchen again?
The thought sparks memories. Soap’s sketchbook, a gleaming eye peeking from the page. His tactical jacket, jasmine perfume as they march through a field. A hair tie in the keychain. Gunpowder hands buying a bracelet in a faraway country. Making flower crowns while waiting for the target to show up. Dodging bullets with blue fevered eyes. Take me home tae ‘er.
He cleared his throat, and you handled him the plates to set on the table.
After dinner, you said goodnight. Johnny kissed your cheek; I left some beers in the fridge. Another kiss on the forehead. You waved at Simon, sweet and tired. Soap’s eyes followed you through the hallway.
Out in the cool night air, Simon asks.
“Tha’ ‘er?”
Soap flinches in his seat. The bottle in his hand twinkles under the stars. Doesn’t seem willing to reply. Maybe he doesn’t know how.
“The one from yer drawings?”
The nod is soft.
“Aye.”
Interrogation is an art. Ghost knows many ways to get information out of people. None of them work better on his sergeant than silence. The man has a need to fill empty spaces.
So he waits until Johnny takes the bait.
“A’v always known her.”
Another silence. Simon doesn’t need to ask the question out loud.
“We arenae datin. She isnae ma girlfriend. Or wife,” Jhonny’s voice is warm and liquid. “She's the love o ma life.”
Curiosity bubbles again. How does this life fit with the man out in the field? How come a cozy little house is home to a demolition expert?
“How’s tha’ work?”
Soap’s shoulders tighten, preparing for a defensive stance.
“She doesnae want sex.”
That’s not quite an answer, so Simon waits. Johnny’s back relaxes slowly, as if relieved by the lack of a reaction.
“But ‘a dinnae care aboot all that stuff. She's here whan ‘a come home, an she takes care o’ me. A tak care o’ her. Thare's nothin more than that.”
Nothing more he could ask for. Nothing more he’d ever want. His eyes glow blue, melting ice in the night. Ghost wonders, surprised, how he never saw it. How he didn’t realize.
After that, he doesn’t ask any more questions. There’s nothing else he’d need to know, really. When the bottles are empty and the air a little too cold, they retreat to their rooms.
The next morning, Simon stays in bed a little longer than usual. He listens to your soft steps in the hallway, the little knock on the door and Johnny’s raspy laugh. He hears the sheets and the whispers, the way he tells you stories about their last deployement- some true (only the lighter ones), the rest made up, with a handsome, Scottish hero. He pictures you tucked in Johnny’s side, his hand in your hair, easy smiles lighting up the room. And he understands. Once again, his sergeant’s words sound in his head.
A dinnae care aboot the rules. She’s ma girl, L.T.
Summary: You hear someone calling out for you and you are desperate to find them
Content: gender-neutral reader, childhood friends, reunion after years, ace giving the warmest of hugs
Word Count: 520+
A/N: Just a little something to help brighten @sordidmusings day up! I hope you enjoy lovely and know I love you so so much!! 🫶🫶 also a one piece fic? from me?? omg I feel like it has been a while oof
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You heard your name above all the noise and staticy buzzing in your ears.
It was faint at first, but definitely your name.
Where was it coming from? Who was calling for you?
The crew around you didn’t seem to hear it, too busy cheering and laughing and celebrating to hear it being called.
You didn’t want to celebrate. Not one bit. Especially now when someone was calling for you. Calling for you in a way that had your heart restart and beat in an urgency to find it.
Your name grew clearer and clearer the more you wandered through the crowd searching for whoever was calling for you.
You knew that voice. It was one you hadn’t heard in years but one you needed close now more than ever.
Your eyes burned and blurred as your name was called again. You wanted to call back, but the tightening of your throat gave you pause.
But when the voice began to float in the opposite direction, you fought through the frog in your throat and called his name. A name you hadn’t spoken, hadn’t dared to speak, in three long years.
Your name was shouted now, coming back towards you. You stayed planted in your spot, knowing he would find you as you gave one last call of his name.
The crowd seemed to part and there he was. Shaggy, black hair that needed a good scrub, sun-kissed skin covered in a layering of freckles. His dark, near black, brown eyes eased upon finding you, thin lips pulling at their corners.
He called your name in relief at finally finding you.
“Ace.” You called back, voice wavering despite your wish to keep your upset nature at bay. His name on your lips was all it took to make the man you had missed so desperately rush forward, scooping you up in his strong arms.
He held you close, enveloping you in his sunny warmth you wished to stay within forever. You buried your face in his shoulder, feeling those tears you had tried to keep back begin to wet his skin.
You breathed his smoky scent in deep. A smell that instantly reminded you of back home. Of campfires he would put on for you, Luffy, and Sabo. Fires you and him would sit by late into the night, cuddled up next to each other. It was a smell you had craved to inhale again and nearly sobbed at its return.
“I told you I’d find you again.” He muttered into your neck, placing a soft kiss there. “Didn’t I?” You nodded, holding him just that much tighter as you sucked in a shaky breath. “Let’s get outta here, yeah?”
“Please.” Ace pulled away, holding onto your shoulders as he took in every bit of your face he could. His lips tugged upward once more and you drank in the sight of that smirking smile you loved.
“Damn--I missed you.” And before you could even think to tell him just how much you missed him back, he was grabbing your hand and whisking you out of the crowd and into the chill night air.
I love you more than fried chicken by AsterikaMay | 9.1k | Asexual Lance | Modern AU
Unease gurgles in Lance’s stomach. Keith doesn’t know he’s asexual. He doesn’t know that the tipping point they’re leading up to, all this closeness and comfort, doesn’t have any golden prize at the end of the fall. It’s just the continued existence of the way they are, forever and ever. And Lance loves that. Lance wants that. But does Keith want that too?
---
As Lance and Keith become closer to each other, the time comes for Lance to acknowledge the looming fact that he is asexual. The issue is: Keith doesn't know that. No one knows that. And it might quite end things between them
It's Always Gonna be Us - Soda and Ace and their Unrequited Love
Ace had known about Soda’s crush on her since the 4th grade. Before, when they were kids, it didn’t seem to matter so much. The foreign ideas of love and devotion getting tangled with the scrawny elbows and skinned knees that messy childhood friendship brought. Ace was just one of the guys. Wrestling at recess and sucking on the honeysuckle flowers on the walk home after school.
Then fourth grade hit and it seemed like everyone tried too hard to grow up. Everyone wanted to be an adult when all Ace wanted to do was stay a kid. They were all worrying about the way that they looked, what adults thought of them, but the worst part was the newest fascination with the opposite sex.
Everyone grew obsessed with their crushes and that’s when Ace noticed it. Sodapop was still the same kid but he became different with her. Softer and more obsessive. If she had known what those words meant in the fourth grade.
He held doors for her and complemented her and gave her a lot more hugs. Ace pretended not to notice but it was really grating on her nerves to be treated differently than the rest of the gang. Not that they ever were qualified as just friends in the first place. The gang had always been closer than closer and thicker than blood, Soda and Ace especially. But while Soda wanted to be more than friends, Ace just wanted everything to stay the same.
So they prattled on through middle school while Ace just made fun of him and pretended not to notice his little crush but mostly made fun of him. She never missed the looks he threw her when he thought she wasn’t looking and she thought she might die of embarrassment. Ace had never thought of herself and the potential of romance. She usually cringed when she heard boys calling their girlfriends ‘my girl’ or some shit. She wasn’t anyone's girl and she certainly wasn’t about to belong to anyone. Even if it was Soda, the same kid that she’d grown up with, the kid that was like her brother. Ace had always belonged to herself. Growing up alone and an orphan will teach you that. You only really have yourself even if you have a big brother that would do anything to protect you.
Then they were fourteen, in middle school and just worried about surviving. Soda was still in love with her but she’d learned to live with it by now. Play it off like she didn’t know, like it didn’t mean anything. They were cutting morning classes one day to bum around town. They’d probably go to the gas station and steal some gum, maybe go get a milkshake. It was just Ace and Soda that day. Steve and Johnny were actually worried about school, Two-Bit was only going to class because he had what he said was a ‘hottie with a body’ in one of his classes and Pony was still in elementary school. Suddenly Soda turned to her, his bubblegum breath hot in her face and smiled that big white toothy grin.
“You goin’ to the dance Acey?” She looked at him, scoffing and shoving his shoulder.
“You mean the school dance? Like the one for school?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeah of course, why? You goin’ to other dances with a boy that I’m unaware of?” Ace just laughed.
“No, I’m not going to the dance Soda. You know how it always is! Too many socy types all drinking daddy's liquor.”
“It’s not that bad. I was thinkin’ maybe we could go. Like together?” Ace tried again to play it off and grin but it was hard when Sodapop Curtis was staring at her with those big blue puppy dog eyes and the most innocent look on his face.
“You want me to get dressed up? Like all them soc girls do? Could you imagine me in a dress? You're full of shit!” He’d laughed if off but Ace didn’t miss the hurt in his eyes. Ace wished more than anything she could feel the same way. That he wouldn’t have to be alone in this too. But her feelings didn’t quite match and she couldn’t stand the thought of faking it and giving him hope for something that would never turn out.
So she kept making fun of him and they made their way back to school. That was the last time Soda had brought up anything remotely related to his love for her.
The next time he brought it up wouldn’t be that easy.
Ace had been on the way to Darrys birthday party when Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were killed. She got there with Two-Bit and Steve, alarmed by the red and blue lights of the cop car sitting out in front of the house. All three greasers hid behind the neighbors roses waiting until the cop car drove off before daring to make a move.
To say that everyone was devastated was an understatement. After a fair amount of comforting, the rest of the gang cleared out so the boys could mourn privately.
Ace was pretty distraught herself. Mrs. Curtis had been around more than her own mom ever was and was one of the only adults in her life besides Gram that loved her unconditionally. It was hard to find adults that cared on the East side. The Curtis parents were a bright spot in a sea of drunks and abusers.
The whole gang went to the funeral. Ace had worn the nicest clothes she had. Which was a black and blue flour sack dress that she had been gifted at a church clothing drive. She’d sat next to Soda and held his hand through the whole thing. He cried as quietly as he could, instead trying to reassure Ponyboy who was sobbing through the whole funeral. He never let go of Ace’s hand though, holding onto it like a lifeline.
After the funeral, they went back to the Curtis house for a pretty pathetic funeral reception. Ponyboy shut himself up in his room, Johnny following while Darry busied himself greeting everyone. Soda looked like some sort of caged animal, nervous with shifting eyes, pulling at his sweaty collar looking like he was ready to jump out the window and start running. Ace wouldn’t even blame him if he did either.
“Can we get outta here?” He asked Ace, looking around and messing with his collar once again. She just nodded and they paired off and started walking. Ace was scared he’d combust if he stayed in that house much longer anyway. Soda undid the top few buttons of his dingy dress shirt, letting out a big breath as he began to roll up his sleeves.
They found their way to the park, the same place they always went when something was wrong. Ace sat down on the merry-go-round, while Soda just stood there. His arms were limp at his sides and he stared listlessly at the ground. She’d expected him to cry or freak out or even just stand there and keep staring at the ground, but he didn’t do any of that. Instead he looked at her with those pleading watery eyes saying words that he’d probably been holding in since the fourth grade. Words that might kill her.
“Ace, I love you… I’m in love with you.” Ace wished she could shove the words back in his mouth as soon as they came out.
“No you don’t Soda.”
“Yes I do.” He said quietly but firmly, dropping his head to meet her eyes with his watery ones. “Please?” To an outsider, the question might have seemed random and off kilter, but Ace knew exactly what he was asking. He was asking her to love him back. To fill the void left by tragedy and heartbreak that he thought only she could fill. Like most things in a greasers life, this conversation wasn’t going to be easy.
“Soda…” She began gently. “Why don’t you sit down? You look real bad off-.” He just threw his hands up in the air and started pacing a little. As glad as Ace was that he was moving again she hated why.
“I’m not bad off! I love you Ace! I’ve loved you since… forever, why can’t you just…” His voice cracks with tears and trails off. He’s swaying on his feet as Ace makes her way to him. To steady him and make sure he doesn’t fall. She helps him sit down on the rickety old merry-go-round, before sitting next to him. She doesn’t know what to say. Ace thought she’d have a few years at least before they had this conversation. She thought she’d have time to prepare.
“Soda, you don’t know what you’re sayin’. It’s been a hard day for everyone-.”
“Ace…” He started, his eyes going a little crazy, clearly on the verge of breaking. “This has nothing to do with my par… my parents, or anything else. I know myself, I know how I feel and I know my feelings for you are real. I love you Ace, I’ve loved you since we were kids and it hasn’t gone away or changed. You are so-.”
“Stop, please Soda.” His voice is taking on a desperate pleading tone, his eyes begging her to understand. Ace suddenly realizes that he’s not going to let this go. There is no way he can’t take another heartbreak, not today.
“I know I was bad in school. I know I’m stupid and not smart like you. And there’s a ton of things I don’t know but I do know this. I love you Ace.”
“Stop Soda, please.” Ace stands up, moving away from Soda.
“I love you Ace.” He repeats and her blood turns cold. “I love you so much, since we were little kids I have been in love with you and that hasn’t changed now. Ace I love-.”
“Stop saying you love me Soda!” She says, low and dangerous. A tone she usually never uses with Soda if she can help it. “You can’t love me! Not like that! We don’t fit together and I don’t think we ever will, not like that.” Ace doesn’t tell him but she doesn’t think she’ll ever fit with any man like that, but it's best to be honest with when he’s being like this. “You can’t love me Sodapop Curtis.” No one can. The last part hangs in the air.
“But I do.”
“Stop saying that! You’re like my brother.” Now it's her voice taking on that pleading tone. “You say that I get on your nerves all the time and you get on mine, do you really think being a couple would change that?”
“I love you Ace.” He says it for what feels like the hundredth time. The four words are broken and bruised, filled with so much loss and heartbreak that it makes Ace’s chest hurt.
“We’d be at each other’s throats by the end of the day and you’d be ashamed of me and we don’t fit together!”
“I could never be ashamed of you because I love you Ace.” He’s quiet and teary, just watching her explode because Ace doesn’t want things to change. Things have changed so much in the week since the Curtis parents died and now they would change again if Soda and her got together. She wanted things to stop changing and just be simple. Like when they were kids. Instead of saying all that, she just turns to him with a cold expression.
“That isn’t going to change the fact that I don’t love you. I am grateful to you and so happy to be your friend but I can’t love you. Not like that, not like you want me to.” He’s quiet for a moment, before dropping his head and emitting a low sound that a whimpering animal might make. Ace’s heart breaks for him but she doesn’t move to touch him, not when she’s so afraid that he’d interpret it wrong.
“Ace… I just have to say it. It’s like… it’s like I’ve been carrying this confession inside me since we were kids and I have to say it now. You and I know more than anyone how quick someone can go and if you left or died or something and I didn’t get a chance to say this to you… I don’t know… I think I would die!” His voice breaks on the last word and he looks up at her again, tears now openly falling down his cheeks. “I would die Ace, you have to know that. I can’t lose anyone else and I don’t know what I would do if you…” He trailed off, obviously not wanting to finish the thought. “Because, if I don’t got you Ace, who do I have?” His voice sounds so heartbroken and desperate that it’s killing her and she’d do anything to soften the blow for him. Ace understands, this confession is his way of telling her that he’s scared of losing someone else. That he believes if she doesn’t reciprocate his love in the same way then she’s lost to him.
This is one thing she can’t give him though. She can’t lie to him about this just to spare him the pain of his parents and all their other losses. Ace softens a little and sits down, grabbing his jaw and pulling him to look at her.
“Soda, you’re always gonna have me have me, you dummy. No matter what.” She tries to smile even though there are tears running down her cheeks. She’s thinking of her dead parents and Sodas who just died and all the others they lost on the way. “Soda, just because I don’t love you like that doesn't mean I don’t love you at all. We’re still close. Like you said, we’ve been close since we were kids and we’re still thicker than blood. Nothin’s gonna change that.” He sits down on the ground, pulling his knees to his chest as tears slip softly down his cheeks. “You gotta believe me Sodapop. Just because I can’t love you like that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop loving you. It’s always gonna be us Soda.”
That’s when the silent stricken tears turn into ugly snot filled sobs. Soda’s face crumples and he starts crying, really crying, probably the first time he’s really cried since he found out about his parents. The sounds coming out of his mouth no longer sound human, more like a hurt animal as he whimpers.
Ace is quick as she moves to him on the ground. Wrapping an arm around his waist as he sinks into the contact. He cries into her ugly black dress while Ace just pets his hair, whispering soft condolences that will do nothing to fix it.
“Ace… I loved you…” He cries into her dress. “I loved you so much…”
“I know Soda… I know.” It’s all she can say. She knows this isn’t all he’s crying about but she has no idea what to say to make it better.
“What if… What if you go?” He says the last part through a cry but she knows exactly what he means.
“I ain’t never gonna leave you Soda. I promise.” She runs her fingers through his sweaty hair, trying to offer the seldom comfort she knows how. Sometimes, when she was upset as a kid, Steve used to scratch her head and play with her hair.
So they sit on the ground, both trying to pick up the pieces of Soda that this loss has left scattered on the ground.
Ace doesn’t know how long they lay on the ground. Long enough for the Tulsa sky to turn from orange to black and long enough for Darry to start worrying.
Pretty soon, he’s sitting up. He wipes his face off, looking a bit embarrassed as starts to get off of her.
“Sorry for cry-.”
“It’s okay, you don’t gotta apologize for crying.”
That was the last thing she said before they stood. Walking back to the Curtis house with their arms around each other. Soda’s arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist. His feet look heavy as he tries to walk and she ends up supporting a lot of him. He’s still sniffling and she's pretty sure his silence is partly out of exhaustion and embarrassment. Soon they’re at the porch of the Curtis home.
“You gonna come inside?” Soda looks at her, hopefulness peeking through his exhaustion.
“I don’t know, I was gonna find Steve and-.” Darry Curtis comes storming out on the porch before she can finish whatever she’s saying.
“Where the hell have you-.” He looks angry and scared, starting to yell before giving them a good look and softening. “Ace… Pepsi-Cola? You guys okay?”
“Yeah.” Is all that Soda says before pushing past him to go inside and head upstairs. Ace gives a wave and turns around to leave before she stops at Darry’s hand on her shoulder.
“Ace where you goin’ kid?” She’s about to make a smart remark about how he isn’t any more a kid than she is but thinks better of it.
“I thought I’d leave y’all alone tonight. It’s been a long day for everyone.”
“Just come on inside. You might as well stay the night.” All she can do is nod, she’s exhausted and doesn’t feel like getting into it with Darry or walking home alone in the dark. “Besides, we need you here Ace.”
They make their way inside. She sits on the couch as Darry sits at the kitchen table. Apparently intent on questioning her.
“Where’d y’all go? Is everything okay?”
“Just the park, everythings fine.” She’s quick to reassure him. Soda can tell him what happened if he wants, Ace doesn’t really feel like getting into it.
“The park? Y’all don’t look fine. What happened?”
“You don’t look fine either Darrel.”
“I guess that’s true.” Surprisingly enough, he laughs. “I don’t think any of us are fine.” They stare at each other a minute before Ace speaks.
“Yeah, yeah, none of us are fine, blah blah. You really want to keep questioning me? You look about ready to keel over.”
“I’m fine.” He snaps unconvincingly. “Besides, there’s no way I was gonna sleep with you guys out there.”
“Well, you don’t gotta worry anymore. We’re okay now.”
“Okay.” He says, giving her one more look. “How’s Soda?”
“About as okay as the rest of us.” He nods slowly.
“I guess that's all I can ask for. We’ll figure this out.” He says determinedly, turning to stare at the floor, the silence heavy. Darry always had to fix something, Ace just didn’t know how he was going to fix this. “Okay I'm gonna head to bed. You gonna be okay Ace kid?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She tries for a smile but it comes out wrong.
“Good night Ace. Thanks.”
“Good night.” She gives him a halfhearted wave as he goes up the stairs. Hopefully to get some sleep that he desperately needs.
Ace closes her eyes but she can’t sleep. Her mind is still racing with the events of the day. Not only is she thinking of the conversation with Soda but she keeps halfway expecting for Mrs. Curtis to come down the stairs. She usually did whenever Ace stayed the night, just trying to make her feel comfortable in a house full of boys. Maybe she would give her a hug and ask her what was wrong. Then Ace might tell her about today and ask her how to help Soda. Mrs. Curtis would know better than anyone how to help her son. The sensitive one with a heart of gold, his momma's little boy. She’d know exactly what to say to fix this.
But that’s the funny thing about grief. It gets harder before it gets easier. You find yourself missing their presence and words and wondering where they could’ve gone.
Finally Ace manages to doze off, shaking awake easily as she hears water running in the bathroom. Closing her eyes again she hears soft footsteps down the stairs before the figure comes and sits in the floor beside the couch. She opens her eyes then.
“Sodapop? Whatchu doin’ up?” He gives her a weak smile in the dark.
“Ace… I couldn’t get a lick of sleep up there. I just kept thinking about how what I said today might have gone and ruined everything between us.” She straightens, sitting up and turning to look at him. “I wanted to apologi-.” She puts a finger to his lips, effectively cutting him off.
“It’s okay Soda, you didn’t ruin anything so you don’t gotta apologize. I know you’re hurtin’ so let’s just say you get a pass.” He looks at her skeptically.
“A pass? After that whole thing you wanna give me a pass?”
“Sure.” She says easily. It always was easy to forgive Soda. For Ace, it’s not really about the pass. This is her way of saying that she doesn’t want to let that conversation change anything. She doesn’t want things to be awkward or turn stale between them because she’s always had Soda and she doesn’t know what she’ll do if that changes. So if giving him a pass will ensure that nothing changes, then she’ll give him as many passes as he needs.
“Do you at least want to at least punch me or something?” There’s a slight smile in his words, so Ace isn’t worried.
“I’m too tired, can I punch you in the morning?”
“Sure.” He laughs, then goes quiet for a moment. “Can I stay down here? Johnny is up there with Pony, so they’ll be fine.”
“Sure, just don’t let me catch you snoring.” He smiles and lays down on the floor next to the couch. She throws down the extra pillow and blanket Darry set out and he curls up underneath it. They’re both quiet for a minute, likely thinking of everything that transpired today. Suddenly, Soda breaks the silence, his voice giving notes of hesitant fear.
“Ace… we okay?” She thinks on the question a moment. She’s one of the people that knows Soda better than anyone. She knows exactly what he’s asking.
“Yeah, we’re okay.” She thinks on everything for a moment, reaching for his hand in the dark, no longer afraid that he’ll misinterpret it or gain hope for that again. After their talk today, Ace feels she can breathe a little easier, knowing that Soda knows how she feels. “It’s always gonna be us Soda.”
With that, both of them fall asleep. Things will get harder before they get easier, that’s the funny thing about grief. But it will always be Soda and Ace and as long they know that, they’ll be just fine.
A03 Link
Tagging those who expressed interest in a fic like this:
Even though it was a short-lived romance. It was best to not overthink the situation at that time. And it did feel easy at first…
But now looking back and reminiscing the moments you had with him. You couldn’t help but realize how can you find someone else if you didn't feel anything.
The new guy you were seeing is the complete opposite of Ace. He didn't have any freckles on his face. Nor did he have wavy, black hair that was soft to your fingertips.
Even the way he carried himself didn't help but make you pick out the differences between the two.
And to make things worse…the guy you were seeing had a black Jeep as well. But it was time to move on and try again with someone new. Someone different from Ace even if he had the same car as him.
Now here you are, waiting for the guy to come and pick you up, to only see some sort of figment of Ace.
It was messing with your head…seeing a black Jeep parked on your street.
Lying to yourself that he likely came to win you back again. But that car isn’t his.
So why do you wish it was his car? Even though you’re waiting for this “good guy” to come and pick you up at eight.
Was it the feeling you missed? When he came every Friday with his Jeep in your driveway. As he waits for his passenger princess to enter before he drives off to the highway.
Late-night rides with no destination as music surrounds you both.
But it isn't the same if it wasn't him in the driver's seat. And you hate that it hurts even though you were supposed to have a good night.
Now it's two am, and he just dropped you off. He even asked if he could come in. But as you told him…” Maybe not tonight…”
“Did I do anything wrong?”
Replying with a “Nothing’s wrong” but you couldn’t admit to him that everything is wrong. You didn't want to lead the guy any further if you couldn’t help but miss Ace still.
