41+ Onkey..That is if you're still doing the dialogue prompt
yay!! onkey yes amazing beautiful my babies
41. “I feel like I can’t breathe.” (i smell ANGST)
((panic attack tw!! also, the grounding techniques i used in this are ones my therapist have recommended, as well as ones i’ve noticed work on both me and my friends, but please!! do actually look up proper grounding techniques, it’ll help much more than this lil drabble will if you’re panicking ^^))
Kibum could feel his chest tighten, all air seeming to escape his lungs. He couldn’t catch his breath, his hands were shaking, and to make it worse, this was all happening while he was hiding backstage 10 minutes before they were supposed to perform in front of thousands of shawols. Kibum wasn’t sure when or why this had started, he was sitting there, getting his makeup and hair done and he was fine. The stylists had finished and let him leave to attend to whatever he had to do before going on stage, and everything had been perfectly okay. He had left the room and walked down the hall when he noticed how much his hands were shaking. He placed a hand to his chest, not only hearing his heartbeat loud in his hears, but feeling it pound hard against his chest. Kibum had carefully made his way around the corner, showing a trained smile as he passed by some of their staff, and had quickly stepped into an extra room, which was thankfully empty. The second the door closed he slumped against the wall, placing a hand over his mouth as his breaths started coming in quick gasps instead of regular intakes of air. His hands were violently shaking now, a sob escaping his lips. He wasn’t sure when, but he faintly heard a door open and felt soft hands on his arms, one quickly moving to cup the side of his face.
“Hey hey, I’m here it’s okay… What’s wrong?”
Jinki. He knew it was Jinki from his careful voice.
Instead of answering Jinki properly, another sob slipped between Kibum’s lips and he crumpled into the strong arms that had wrapped around him. Kibum buried his face in the crook of Jinki’s neck, his arms encircling his waist as he pulled him ever closer.
“What’s wrong?” Jinki asked again after a moment, pulling away only enough to be able to see Kibum’s red, tear stained cheeks.
“I feel like I can’t breathe.” A quick gasp of air. “I don’t know what happened I just all of a sudden felt like my chest was being constricted and my heart won’t slow down and my hands won’t stop shaking and I don’t know what’s wrong Jinki I don’t know-”
“It’s okay.” Two simple words. “You’re okay. I’m here.” Jinki placed his hands on Kibum’s waist and guided them both down so they were sitting facing each other, Kibum’s arms still wrapped tightly around the elder’s waist.
Jinki took his hands from Kibum’s hips, taking one of Kibum’s hands from his waist to place on Jinki’s own chest, making sure to breathe heavily so Kibum could easily feel the rise and fall of his chest.
“Try to make your breathing match mine, okay? You’re doing so good already.” A soft smile laid across Jinki’s face in spite of the current situation.
Next, Jinki took his own hands and placed them on Kibum’s thighs, starting to tap a practiced pattern there, humming softly along with the soft presses of his fingers against soft skin. It took a few minutes but slowly, Kibum’s breathing returned to semi-normal intakes of air, and his heartbeat slowed considerably. He lifted his head from being buried in Jinki’s neck, looking up at the older boy.
“… I’m sorry.” It was only a whisper, yet Jinki still heard it.
“No, there’s no reason for you to apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
Kibum realized something. “Ah wait, how did you find me anyway?” He looked up questioningly.
“I was talking to Tae and I saw you pass by, and I knew something was wrong. I excused myself as quickly as I could and heard you crying in here. Again, I’m sorry I didn’t come help you sooner.”
“Hey no, I’m simply thankful for the fact you came to help me at all, thank you Jinki.”
“Oh, what? No ‘thank you babe’? Have I lost the privilege of being called babe?” A silly smiled was aimed at Kibum, his own lips tilting upwards.
“Of course not, babe.” An even wider smile spread across Kibum’s face when he saw how happy Jinki looked at that.
After another minute of sitting, Jinki moved to stand up, extending his hand to offer help to Kibum, who was still sitting on the floor. He pulled him up and into another hug, a hand carefully weaving itself into Kibum’s hair.
“I love you.” The words came out as a quiet mumble, lips pressed against Kibum’s cheek soon after.
“I love you too, you idiot.” A smile and a real kiss was exchanged before they both gathered themselves and left the empty room, heading down the hallway.
“Hey, you should probably get your makeup touched up. You look awful.”
“Shut up!” Kibum smacked Jinki’s arm as Jinki smiled, proud of himself. But, Kibum didn’t disagree as they walked towards a stylist to ask for a touchup, both boys smiling softly, fingers intertwined with each other.
