#aceswild

[fuzzjump]

Truly fun, eye opening book for a younger YA set unfamiliar with asexuality. The representation in this story was a joy to read.

The actual heist part was totally convoluted, but in the best way possible. Throwing teens into an adventure against the odds is a trope I can get behind.

Please share the book with others.

Thank you to NetGalley and Peachtree for providing an eARC for a honest review

[bwellbhappy]

Good night, from Acey-boy, perched atop the couch. #aceswild #acesperch #buffalohide #mountainlodge #mountainpoodle (at Flagstaff, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/B38RrboH5ba4CxS_qFu7drnvEQdYTwHWbps6vE0/?igshid=lcli6gmxab01

[wildasexuals]

Getting Real About What It Really Means to Be Asexual

“I don’t feel like I’m alone anymore.” This is a great story of how one person discovered their asexual identity – and it can help you learn about what it means to be asexual.

This is a repost from @refinery29​ but they transcribed it! And more importantly, when inaccurate pronouns were pointed out they fixed them and didn’t need convincing on the fact that they were they/them :)

Transcription:

Bauer: When I was a junior in high school, it was apparent that I wasn’t interested in people in the same way as everybody else was. Two of my friends actually suggested to me that perhaps I was asexual. I told them, “I’m not a plant. Go away. Like, leave me alone.”

I went and I looked it up and I found asexuality.org, and I read asexuality is when you don’t experience sexual attraction. I thought that can’t be me because I have crushes on people, but I went to the frequently asked questions page and I realized, “Oh my goodness. Like, this fits me perfectly. Oh, dear.”

It was an overwhelming sense of dread. It wasn’t something I wanted. It was isolating, because at the time I didn’t want to be this sexual orientation that I knew nothing about. I didn’t know anybody else who was like that. I felt like it meant I wouldn’t be able to make strong or intimate connections with other people. I felt like that for a really long time.

When I realized that I was really asexual and there was no way I wasn’t, I knew I needed a community and I didn’t have one at all. I moved to New York originally thinking that the biggest city in the country would be the most likely to have an ace group.

Aces is a shorthand for asexual but it also inherently means the asexual spectrum, which includes anybody who finds asexual to be helpful but not quite right. There wasn’t one in New York where I had been for six years. By that point I said, “If nobody else is doing it, I’m going to do it.” Over the course of two and a half to three years, now all my friends that I see on a weekly basis are also asexual and from all the work that I’ve done.

I have a partner, Levi. I met Levi when I was brought in to help the NYU students start an Aces and Aros group at their LGBTQ center. Probably the most typical relationship that I have. We live together. Our hardest question is consistently what should we have for dinner. We snuggle. I kiss them hello and goodbye, things like that.

It sort of blew my mind in the sense that this was something that was actually possible. I don’t feel like I’m alone anymore. The idea that asexual just means that you don’t want to have sex misses the whole point of who I am. You wouldn’t know that I like to stay up until 4am talking to my friends, or all on one bed watching a movie together making comments, or how I feel vulnerable and share different parts of myself. That is a much more accurate representation of who I am and my life instead of just saying, “Oh, your a person who doesn’t want to have sex.”

[wildasexuals]

Aces and Aros at Creating Change 2017 in Philadelphia!

Hi Everyone! 

If any of you are thinking about attending Creating Change this year or plan to submit proposals, please let us know. We’re working with a bunch of other ace and aro people and organizers and we’ve just started the process of proposal drafting for 2.0 topics. We’ve learned that the more panels we submit the more we can get accepted, so anyone who feels comfortable leading or co-leading let us know. Also, if you’re interested in helping, but not submitting something yourself that is also very appreciated. 

Aces Wild also hosted the first ever Ace & Aro Hospitality Suite last ear and we are doing so again this year. In the suite there are lots more casual things like group lunches and dinners and hangouts. That means you can come hang out even if you just plan on attending and not running a workshop.

Since we’re independently hosting the ace/aro suite this year it is still open to non-badged attendees (i.e. free!).

If you’d be interested in joining the facebook group, send us a direct message, email at [email protected], or find us on facebook! 

About Creating Change:

CC is the big annual conference for all the big-name LGBTQ organizers, with an emphasis on professional development, and it’s happening in January 18-22 in Philadelphia for 2017.

It’s one of the best ways for the ace community to form connections with big-name LGBT leaders and formal LGBT organizers. It’s also super expensive to attend (like $200+ reg fees, plus travel and hotel costs….) but there are some limited student and low-income scholarships and the like – though I’ve heard they are hard to get so if you want to try for one you should apply as soon as they open.

You can also volunteer a certain number of hours to get free admission on the days you volunteer.

[wildasexuals]

Bauer, Levi, & Jaysen were in a video for @refinery29 done by the amazing Julia Pitch

[wildasexuals]

ok I have a bit of a question/confession(?) - okay, so I am asexual. I do not experience sexual attraction in any way but lately me and my bf have been cuddling/making out and I've found that I like my boobs being touched/grabbed. Not in a sexual way at all, I don't feel aroused. It's just a sensitive part and it feels... nice? I don't know how to explain it. I tried to look it up but I can't find any others who feel the same. Am I any less asexual because of this? (I've been asking others too)

Nope, you are not less asexual. Behavior and sexual attraction are totally separate.

In fact aces who have sex enjoy it most of the time, so no worries. (Aicken et al, 2013).

[wildasexuals]

Aces in an airport terminal...

Ace 1: do people really have sex on airplanes?

Ace 2: I have no idea.

Ace 1: how is that even possible?

Ace 2: 👀

Ace 1: is that even possible?

[wildasexuals]

is is common for aces to fear and hate and be very very uncomfrotable with any physichal contact? like even with my family and closest friends ? i'm abuse survivor also so it could be that but i was wondering if any other aces are like me

I've definitely met touch averse aces. I'm not sure if they feel exactly the same as you or if it's an ace thing, but I know some aces where it doesn't matter if someone is family or friends.

I can't speak to the connection to abuse, except that I would be very surprised if it didn't affect you at all. I am also very sorry you experienced any to begin with.

If fear of being touched causes you distress in daily life I might want to talk to someone about it, but otherwise there's nothing wrong with having personal boundaries.