This movie certainly wasn’t what I was expecting considering the Mad Max films that have come out more recently but it was certainly a good watch. Young Mel Gibson (Signs) is our star in leather and his co-star is speed (being fast, not the drug). Seriously, everyone was racing around so quickly I was amazed they were able to capture it all! There were many accidents, both car and motorcycle, which looked and probably were incredibly dangerous. Do not try these stunts at home, kids!
⭐⭐⭐.5
Trigger Warning Sexual Assault (?), Child Death
We begin on a highway with some special patrol officers being called to a chase where a couple are just flying down the road like bats out of Hell. The pursuit is hot with multiple accidents along the way and a baby is almost hit in the middle of the street! We see another car joining the fray but are not yet granted permission to see the driver’s face, not until said driver wins a game of chicken with the perp. With his confidence lost the perp gets into a fiery accident that kills him and his passenger. The driver of the car that saved the day is none other than Mel Gibson, aka Mad Max, he is decked out in leather with shoulder guards and he is looking quite spiffy. At home Max’s wife, Jessie, plays him sweet sounds on her saxophone. It was cool but also very random. Their kid just hangs out. Max gets some sick upgrades on his ride that make it go even faster than before, which will come in handy later. A biker gang blows into town, turns out the guy who died at the beginning of the movie was one of them and now they are mad he’s dead. They want revenge on the cops that killed him but also they want to just wreak havoc in general. A young couple, sensing the trouble, drive away to try and escape the gang but the bikers surround the couples car and absolutely destroy it with the couple inside. Max and his partner Goose come across the scene of the crime and try to help the girl who is very scared from the incident and I fear she was sexually assaulted. One of the bikers, Johnny, was left behind as a sort of punishment and he is taken in by Max and Goose. The next scene is at the station Johnny is being let go because no one appeared at court to get him put away. Goose is furious and tries with every bone in his body to fight and (probably) kill Johnny but his boss and Max won’t let him. Still, Goose is able to get a few punches thrown in Johnny’s face which the boy deserved at the very least. Johnny threatens Goose as he leaves.
That night someone, probably Johnny, tampered with Goose’s motorcycle. The next day when Goose was riding he got thrown off it (in a way that didn’t make sense but we will just have to let it slide). Surprisingly Goose was not hurt very much at all from the accident but when he was driving back into town with his bike in the truck bed, Johnny threw something at his window, causing him to crash. The truck rolled over several times before settling upside-down. Gasoline was pouring out of the ruined truck and the leader of the biker gang, Toecutter, forced Johnny to light a match and torch Goose. When Max arrived at the hospital he was horrified by what he saw (Hell, I was surprised that Goose was even still alive). Max goes to his boss and hands in his resignation letter, he can’t do the job anymore, but his boss won’t let him resign, Max is just too good at his job! Boss-man says he can have some time off to think but that he won’t let him quit. This is agreeable to Max who gets a dog and takes the family on a little vacation. Almost immediately on their trip they have to get a tire fixed (or something like that) and while Max waits with the mechanic Jessie takes their son to go get ice cream down the way. Wouldn’t you know it that the biker gang was hanging around just outside the ice cream shop. Toecutter invades Jessie’s space and even suggestively licks her ice cream cone which was a special kind of disgusting. Jessie swiftly knees him in the balls and gets into the car so she and the baby can escape.
Jessie picks Max up and they get the hell out of dodge but the mechanic tells the bikers that they were headed, “Probably North.” Once they arrive at their destination they pretty much forget about the scary bikers. Max is doing some work on the car, the baby is lying out on a play mat, and Jessie takes the dog on a long walk down to the beach. Seriously, the walk to the beach is LONG and it takes her through the woods which does not seem safe for someone who was just being stalked only a few hours ago. And of course it isn’t safe for her to be walking in the woods alone because the bikers are there in the woods with her! What I find strange and frankly a little hilarious is that they allow Jessie to have her full beach day. She gets to the beach, splashes in the ocean, soaks up the sun, and has time to pack up her things and walk halfway back before the bikers even make themselves known. This is wildly funny to me. What isn’t funny is that they killed and gutted the dog. Ugh. Now terrified, Jessie runs back to the house screaming. Gun in hand, Max enters the woods to take care of business. Jessie takes a seat on the couch to catch her breath and calm down… But what about the baby? Where is the baby? The bikers are outside the house and they have the child! A kindly old woman was there and she pulled a gun on the bikers, they laughed because they didn’t think she would shoot them but she pulled the trigger and hit a barrel right next to them so they all fell in line. Jessie got her baby back as the bikers filed into a room where the old woman locked the door. Jessie and the old woman got into the car and drove as far and as fast as they could but Max hadn’t finished fixing it so they broke down in the middle of the road in the middle of nowhere.
Here is the really painful bit, because it was so obviously a bad choice, but at the same time, what other choices did she have? Jessie got out of the car with her baby and began to run down the road. The old woman stood holding the gun and she shot at the bikers as they roared by but it didn’t matter. The next thing we saw was a little shoe flying into the air. Max runs to the pile in the road that used to be his wife and son. Devastation. At the hospital the doctors are unsure about the prospects of Jessie surviving but we already know that the child has passed away. By putting a little pressure on the right people Max is able to locate the biker gang so he can get his revenge. He even leaves a picture of Goose, his wife, and his son in Toecutter’s helmet. The final chase begins between Max’s supped up car and the gang’s bikes. At one point Max drives by a bike on the side of the road with the driver lying there. He stopped his car but it was an ambush, he was shot through the shin (though when we see the injury it is placed near his knee) and then he had his arm run over! These were but minor inconveniences to Max, he was going to have his revenge, that was for sure. After driving all day, all night, and then most of the day again, Max catches up with Toecutter and gets right up behind him. Max is able to push Toecutter into an oncoming truck which runs over the villain with ease. Finally Max comes across a car wreck and who is there but Johnny, picking over the remains like a vulture. Johnny acts like his only crime is a little grave robbing but Max somehow knows that Johnny is the one who set Goose on fire. Max has Johnny cuff himself by the ankle to the wrecked car (that is leaking gasoline) then sets up the lighter. He gives Johnny a saw and suggests he can either try to saw through the cuffs in about ten (10) minutes or his ankle in five (5) minutes. Saw before Saw! With that, Max drove off, not bothering to look back when the explosion happened. He had gotten his revenge.
It’s time for a Predator Badlands rant.
It has been almost a month since I saw this movie and I am still fucking mad about it. I think the trailer was purposely deceptive to get Predator fans to go the the cinema, because if they had actually showed what the movie was like, I sure as hell would not have paid nearly $50 for those tickets.On the way home I pulled up the trailer because if they has…
