#active consumption

[grace-sugden]

active consumption

this year, i want to be more intentional about what i'm consuming online. i want to dig into why i'm drawn to certain creators, why i disagree with certain video essay, why i go back to certain videos even though i've rewatched them a million times. why, why, why. the why is the intentionality behind it, to stop being so passive in my consumption.

i've been inspired by this video by anna howard (below) where she explains why she's created a "digital garden" to keep track of the thoughts she has while consuming media and then expanding on them with her own decontextualised thoughts afterwards (i've explained that poorly but watch the video if you're interested).

i feel like when i was younger, i consumed less, but thought about it more. i rewatched star wars until i could recite every line of dialogue. i read jacqueline wilson books until i could write an essay on each theme and how it is connected to her wider work. i used to have comfort shows that i could put on and be completely zoned in, not once glancing away to look at a phone or any other device (and that's another conversation about our declining attention spans). whatever i consumed burrowed its way into my brain, where it still resides to this day.

but now, i feel like i consume so much mindless shit on a daily basis yet never take anything of substance in. i couldn't tell you what i was watching 5 minutes ago, nevermind what i've learnt from these videos i spend entire days doomscrolling through. i have no original thoughts on anything i consume, i just zone out. and then i wonder where time has slipped away to.

i've decided that i'm done with mindless consumption so i've come up with some goals for how i'm going to encourage myself to actively consume:

always have a notebook open when i'm watching/reading/consuming something

feel free to pause/take breaks to write down my thoughts (eg. "I don't like this character because...", "this song speaks to me because...", "this thing reminded me of this") - this is a real challenge for me because, objectively, i can analyse a piece of work (ex-english lit student here) but when it comes to putting my own opinions/deep thoughts into something...no thoughts, head empty

link it to other media - basically turning into my own reference list of thoughts and analyses, like how certain media could be connected even though there are no reasons to actually think that (eg. how the popularity of gravity falls in the early 2010s made way for stranger things to be the huge hit that it was/still is) (this is a thought that has been swirling round my brain for years now. is it true? i'll never know. do i want it to be true? um, YEAH absolutely)

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anyway, tl;dr i dont want to be a mindless zombie doomscrolling youtube anymore. i want to actively consume/engage with the media i'm watching/reading and take notes of the thoughts i'm having when consuming it. this post might not make much sense rn, but i hope to look back on it and think "she hit the nail on the head with that one".

[pragantiga]

digital garden ep 2

240625 - especial karl marx 04: crise ciclica do capital - rita von hunty

pt-br

-sinto que ainda tenho demais pra aprender, eu nao fazia IDEIA de nenhum dos 2 fatos citados, nem o ade auschwitz, menos ainda o envolvendo temer. aquela frase é PERTURBADORA e desconcertante, não importa de qual óptica ela seja analisada

-a ideia de crise ser um evento aleatório nunca fez nenhum sentido, mesmo. o conceito de ciclo é bem mais conciso, ao meu ver. até pq é ilógico, né, milhares de economistas competentes, estudos e mais estudos sobre como o capital circula e não há padrão kkkk claro claro e a fada do dente existe tb

-quero muito voltar nos artigos e pensadores citados ao longo do vídeo quando tiver um tempinho a mais. o vídeo é curto e obviamente não vai me dar um entendimento profundo sobre o assunto, mas o nascimento da vontade de saber mais já parece o bastante, por agora

-desespero e pobreza são inertes ao capitalismo, sempre foram

-se a terra tivesse 46 anos, os humanos teriam iniciado a revolução industrial a um minuto, e destruido quase tudo que a natureza passou 45 anos, 365 dias, 11 horas e 59 minutos aperfeiçoando

eng

-i feel like i still have so much to learn, i had NO IDEA about either of the two facts mentioned, not the auschwitz one, and even less the one involving temer. that sentence is DISTURBING and unsettling, no matter which lens you look through

-the idea of crisis being a random event never made any sense, really. the concept of a cycle feels much more solid to me. i mean, come on—thousands of competent economists, study after study on how capital flows, and no pattern?? haha sure sure and the tooth fairy is real too

-i really want to go back to the articles and thinkers mentioned throughout the video when i have more time. the video is short and obviously not going to give me a deep understanding of the topic, but the urge to know more already feels like enough, for now

-despair and poverty are inert to capitalism, they always have been

-if the earth were 46 years old, humans would’ve started the industrial revolution one minute ago, and destroyed almost everything nature spent 45 years, 365 days, 11 hours, and 59 minutes perfecting

[sixtiescowboy]

the luxury of logging off

When I was at school, we talked about how in the past, only rich people had cars while the poor used horses. Now, everyone has cars, and the wealthy own horses as a luxury. Social media feels the same way.

Being chronically online is a very working-class thing. Celebrities don’t run their own accounts. Even influencers with massive followings have managers handling their posts. The real luxury? Not needing social media. Not relying on it for work, connection, or validation. That’s what the rich have. The rest of us are stuck in the cycle.

[sixtiescowboy]

too much screen time

Another wake-up call? Seeing people online say, “I knew I needed a detox when my screen time hit three hours a day.” Three hours?! Mine is wayyy higher than that. I’m always on my phone. I need it gone!

I still remember my first Instagram post. Just a filtered picture of my friend’s family computer with the caption “Laptop time.” Back then, hitting 11 likes was a big deal because Instagram would stop showing usernames and just say “11 likes.” That was the moment you'd made it. And now? There are bigger audiences, but less joy. Stories aren’t even stories anymore—they’re curated content. It’s lost all spontaneity.

[sixtiescowboy]

finding a better space

I’ve been looking into Digital Gardens, personal websites that act as archives of your thoughts, interests, and work. A space that actually belongs to you. The internet was supposed to be a web, everything connected. But right now, I feel disconnected.

I think that’s why I’m shifting gears. I think I’ll use this as a website/blog. Maybe start a YouTube channel. Just to keep me from doom scrolling and be more considerate in what I consume and share.

The YouTubers I’ve been watching lately have the purest energy, celebrating their 32 subscribers like it’s a huge milestone. Because it is a huge milestone! That’s the kind of joy I want.