#actuallymisophonia

[make-a-noise]

if you have ever dribbled a basketball I probably hate you

[make-a-noise]

hey! i have misophonia as well and the last 3 therapists i've gone to have had no idea what it is or how to treat it, so i was wondering if you know of any specific medications that can help?

I’m currently on a 250mg(very high) dose of Sertraline. It’s an anxiety medication. It doesn’t take away all of my symptoms, but it severely weakens them. Don’t start at 250mg if you can get this medicine, its a high dose thats tailored to my needs. I hope this helps. also look into other anxiety medications, and give a serious go at mindfulness coping mechanisms. They can help sometimes.

[make-a-noise]

To misophoniacs on thanksgiving...

you’re strong, you can do this. I believe in you

[linoone]

Reposted from Facebook. This is a situation some of my older followers from 2013 to 2015 might remember, but I’ve decided to be much more public about it. Please reblog if possible, because I’m genuinely tired of being silent. Keep in mind this is just what I remember of the events since I tried to repress them.

For a year and about 9 months, I went to Holy Cross Academy (formerly Holy Cross High School). So I have what's called "misophonia" - it's a mental illness in which someone is angered by certain visual or audio stimuli. In my case, it's audio. I also have ADHD. There were kids in my class who were the typical douchebag/class clown types. Usually, their attempts to get people to laugh at them would involve making loud noises or blurting out some random, offensive stuff. With my ADHD, I get off task very easily and I tend to get overwhelmed easily. I'd have to tell people to be quiet frequently, which got me a bit of hate from those class clowns. Instead of being a nice person, they'd make it worse. They'd continue, and shout during class, which would cause extreme breakdowns. I'd need to be escorted out of class. The teacher was very understanding about this, and so I was allowed to listen to music during her class. I was so worried about being forced into a breakdown, though, I requested to be isolated from everyone else in the back of the classroom, and would always listen to music. Whenever I had panic attacks, I'd be escorted out of the class to the nurse's office. I nearly failed that class due to this - I know, it's my own fault for barely scraping through, but... what's more important; my mental health or my own sanity? 

During the second semester of my freshman year, I had this one specific teacher. I had her for two of the four classes of the day - physical education/health, and biology. She knew from the day I walked into that class that I was (and am) a shy kid, and my social skills aren't that well honed. So she said she'd help me get better with socializing. I agreed, not knowing what I was in for.Now you're wondering, "Ari, why didn't you just block it out like before?" - I couldn't in that specific class. I explained the situation from the previous semester to her, and was told "Oh, sure, you can wear your headphones, just don't have them plugged in." the headphones I had at the time weren't exactly super-soundproof though, and people would try to get my attention by still making those noises or by throwing things at me. Sometimes I'd be driven to the point of snapping back at them or trying to stand up for myself, but I'd get in trouble for doing so. Nothing would ever really happen to the perpetrator. I had most of the same kids for both PE/Health and biology, so I'd have to deal with the same shit twice a day. For the first half of the semester, we had health. The second half was PE. The school gives us assigned uniforms with no pockets, and even then I don't wear earbuds, so there's no way I would've been able to sneak my phone in to listen to music during class. At this point, the teacher is tired of the fact that I've got these "issues", and whenever I'd get frustrated or upset during class she'd get angry with me. If memory serves me correctly, one kid even threatened to kill me, but I didn't tell anyone about it for fear of him actually doing it - he was a wrestler for the school, and was more than capable of it. If I tried to plug in my headphones during class because it was too loud and I wanted to listen to music, she'd stop the class just to call me out for doing it. I'd only do this during the times when we had work to do, and no lesson was being taught. I suppose towards the end of the year, my teachers went and had a meeting with the school officials about my "issues", and I was told to purchase earbuds to deal with the problem. I comply, hoping to just get things over with. Before I know it, the year is over.On a side note, I often apologize to people for minor things as a defense mechanism. Apparently, I apologized so much that I wasn't really allowed to talk too much during class (I don't remember these events, and only know they really happened thanks to the tag I made for these specific events on Tumblr).

Now come sophomore year. I still have to deal with most of these people, although some of them have transferred out. I'm pretty sure the teacher had also stopped teaching for the year and only worked as a coach. It's the halfway mark after this, and I can do it, right? Ah... what a good joke. For religion class specifically, I was stuck with an extreme Republican in the class who really loved shoving his views down people's throats, to the point where it even made the teacher uncomfortable. Despite being the whitest piece of bread around, I don't tolerate racism of any kind, even if there isn't anyone of that race being targeted in the room. I'd call this kid out on his shit all the time, and even fight him about it. I'm pretty sure at one point he had threatened to shoot me, and it wasn't taken seriously despite the fact it was literally screamed. There were also some kids who caught onto the fact I was misophonic, and would do the same things that had happened in freshman year to induce panic attacks. Like my French teacher, the religion teacher was very understanding of this, and we'd have a rarely-used code symbol for if I needed to leave the class. In my eyes, if I'd use the code, it'd be letting those kids win - so I'd only leave if it was a desperate situation. I remember once having to sit in the hall, crying, like a child in time-out as the class went on as usual. These types of events would happen in my other classes, but two of the teachers I had were supportive and understanding of the situation. The third teacher was so strict we were rarely allowed to talk in that class in general - but whenever we did labs, I was paired up with a kid who also took advantage of my "issues" and the fact I was practically drained of all social energy, and as such didn't talk much, for humour purposes. Even with my earbuds in, things still happened - but to a lesser degree. 

Second semester, same general shit. Being a nuisance to everyone due to my mental disorders. The difference is, however, I have a teacher I had last year who I liked. I'm pretty sure he vaguely knew of these events since he was across the hall from the religion teacher? But I was stuck with one offender from one of my previous classes, who kind of understood I had some issues, but chose to ignore them. I sat maybe two seats in front of him? So I'd be able to hear literally everything he and his posse would say, and trust me, it got on my nerves. I'd have breakdowns during the class, which the teacher would not understand. I'd explain to him that it was a disorder, and he was like "alright, but other people are trying to learn, so cut it out". It eventually got to the point where every time it would happen he'd just call the nurse, give me some spiel about how it can't keep happening because it's "detrimental" to other kids' learning, and I'd be kicked out. Sometimes I wouldn't even be kicked out, and would just sit at my desk crying and listening to music while everything continued as normal. 

May 5, 2015, was my final day at Holy Cross High School. A fire drill happened, and this was a preamble for a possible panic attack. Kids everywhere, lots of people talking a large crowd, things I didn't like and weren't comfortable with. We get back into the class, and people are talking. I don't even think lessons had started when I'm beginning to panic and asking people to be quiet. The teacher tells me that it's not even that loud, and that this is normal for a classroom and people should be allowed to talk. The same stuff he'd always say. So of course, I'm trying to explain to him that you know, I have this mental illness, it's different for me and physically painful. I'm begging and crying, and I go on a tirade  about something, involving how I was considered a burden and everyone thought I was faking. My memory of the event is very hazy, I just know I was screaming and nearly self-harmed. He begins yelling at me about something, threatening to carry me out of the room himself, and goes to call the nurse. I'm begging for him not to. but he escorts the other kids out of the class into the one next door as he waits for the nurse to arrive. The nurse, the guidance counselor, and the dean of students show up. I remember the dean saying that if I didn't calm down, he'd have to call the cops, which sent me into more of a panic. The guidance counselor has to call my dad and get him to calm me down. I'm eventually escorted out of the room to wait in the nurse's office for my dad to arrive. Kids are watching me like I'm a circus animal as it's presumed to be "safe" to roam the halls again. 

I spend the rest of the school year at home, still having to do maths work since I was failing the class and having to do a chemistry class over the summer. The school has a meeting with my dad soon after, and there is no way in hell I am setting foot in that school again - so it's a "mutual agreement" that I not return. I'm told not to discuss this with my friends, but it's become kind of a joke for me at this point. I don't take it too seriously because of how shady the whole thing was, but at the same time I'm still extremely bitter about it. There were a few people who knew about it outside of the family - one of them, who is a very intelligent man who knows too many people to count, has told both me and my father that some of the stuff I've said before was actually illegal, and we could've sued the school. I'm not going into detail about that since I know nothing about law, BUT it's important to note that. Again, I'm very upset about there having not been any legal action, and the whole thing having to be hush-hush. Because even before I knew some of this was illegal, I knew deep down it wasn't right, and nobody deserves to go through it.

There are other incidents that have happened, such as people taking photographs of me without my consent or jokingly flashing their cameras in my direction due to my paranoia and issue with privacy. But those were "solved" and didn't occur AS much. I realize that in the eyes of others, I could've handled the situation a lot better, but I was mentally incapable of doing so. Take this post as you will, I'm just sick of being silent. I've recovered quite a bit since then, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to live a normal life - it's uncertain if I can even graduate high school. But having talked about it to such an extent makes me feel a bit better about it.

The USA's education system is only designed for few to succeed. If anyone has any sort of mental or physical issues, then they're considered rubbish, and disposed of. Nobody deserves to be treated like this by people they're supposed to trust, no matter what happens.

[make-a-noise]

Why does drug withdrawal have to be a thing?..... i really need to figure out how to order meds on time so I don't run out every month....

[make-a-noise]

Nail Guns + Noisy Neighbors = NEMESIS 

[cameron-is-confused-blog]

Just read someone say "misophonia is not real and claiming you have it is offensive to autistic people and people with CSPD"... Yaaaah totally I am defiantly offending myself as an autistic with cspd who has mysophonia... (sarcasm)

[schizoidprince]

tmisophoniafw restaurants