Sep 22, 2025
i don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight without alcohol. i hate relying on it for anything ever, it makes me so scared, but i can't do it tonight. need to make the thoughts quiet. need to stop thinking. i'll be careful, won't drink for the rest of the week, next week too if i can handle it, but i'm scared of becoming too reliant on it.
i'm always so careful with it, but i'm still scared because i know how easily it could ruin me. the ghost of genetic addiction haunts me every day waiting for me to slip up
#vent blog#tw alcohol#addiction vent#<-???wouldn't call ourself an addict/ex-addict. yet. but the genes are there#just. scared. that i'll turn out like Them. i think we could recover. They never really did. but it's still scary#i already have enough disorders and disabilities. i don't need a substance abuse disorder too
