i hate this shit

local adult system with suspected/traits of npd, szpd, avpd that needs to vent about it. pfp art by randumb on pinterest. banner flag made by me based off of midnight npd and penumbra szpd flag.

[schizoidnarcfreak]

really quick intro post yippee.

vent blog for szpd/npd mainly, but other stuff (audhd, c-ptsd, ocd, osdd, etc.) will be mentioned here.

i'm really abrasive and vitriolic sometimes but i refuse to call others slurs or ableist insults or suicide bait. i'm also anti-harassment (no, me being mean to you once is not harassment)

we occassionally use alcohol. tags mentioning it are under the #tw alcohol tag (sometimes misspelled as #tw alchohol so block that too)

suicidal ideation will be tagged as #tw suicide and #tw suicidal ideation. self harm will be tagged as #tw self harm

i'm not giving out named or pronouns rn bc i'm paranoid, might come up with a pseudonym later

i like attention but i also Hate being perceived too much and i Hate being vulnerable bc of the szpd/npd combo. anon asks are on bc i'm a slut for asks but i do not follow back on this blog

idk what else to put legalize murder kill everyone now i hate everyone etc etc whatever

evil flag userbox made by me, flag by @/respirgender overdramatic userbox link

aro n apl userboxes by @/januscorner

[cluster-a-culture]

(Suspected) SzPD + AvPD culture is i kinda feel like i'm the worst human being in the world for not socializing and not wanting to form relationships but people aren't that interesting and not worth the effort.

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[hikes-and-moans]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.

[circusheart]

I do think the post that's like "when they torture you to insanity and then torture you for being insane 😂🤣" is one of the most succinct and foundational analyses of interpersonal violence and conflict that had ever been written

[schizoidnarcfreak]

when i'm alone i actually have a pretty good grasp of what it means to be "myself" but when i'm around other people i feel like a corpse being paraded around for their amusement. and sometimes it's fun or interesting to be a paraded around corpse but it often doesn't truly make me "happy" and i'd rather be alone.

[cluster-a-culture]

szpd culture is bein guaranteed to get attacked by a vague sense of dread after having more of a presence than usual… like leave me alone demons

[schizoidnarcfreak]

Got a racist ass white guy on the bus to shut up and stop harassing people lol, feeling good about it 👑 and it only took like 3 sentences

Nice little reminder that racists are cowards and will shut up real quick if you remind them of how pathetic they are

[mosspapi]

If I have to hear the words "perseverance" or "resilience" one more fucking time I am going to stab someone

[mosspapi]

I don't WANT to "push through it"! I don't WANT everything to be hard and painful and unfun! I don't WANT to always be expected to do the hard things, the painful things, the difficult things! I don't WANT to have to go thru every single day as if existing is such a monumental difficult excruciating challenge, I want some things in my life to be fucking easy! AND THATS NOT A FUCKING FLAW!!! I shouldn't have to suffer all day, every single day!!!

[lunar-solstice-plur]

Rejected userbox for our pinned

[liarsblade]

Ugly Duckling sequel where the swan is like hey it's nobody's fault and I don't think anyone did anything wrong per se but nonetheless I did feel really alienated and depressed for most of my youth and those years do continue to affect me in the present day and their mom is like, so what you're saying is that you think I'm a failure and a bad duck.

[system32sys-hub]

"I can't possibly be polyfragmented! My system is perfectly understandable" Says guy who has mostly fragments, subsystems within subsystems, hidden and unknown alters, complex layering and compartmentalization, hilariously low split tolerance, and whose headcount doubled in the course of 2 months

[eldritchbauble]

Caring about trauma survivors means caring about the ones who developed disorders that aren't palatable to you.

[eldritchbauble]

You're not a mental health advocate if you demonize any specific disorders bc you decided they're the "bad" ones.

[eldritchbauble]

I don't believe in the idea that a disorder makes someone a bad person, or beyond help, or not worthy of respect. Fix your heart.

[eldritchbauble]

See, this is the kind of missing the point and derailing that I don't appreciate because where in my post did I say that you should tolerate abuse.

Nowhere in this post did I say anything about abuse, actually, so you decided that this post was about abusers / abusive behavior. You actually took a post that has nothing to do with abuse and inserted the topic into the discussion, thereby perpetuating the assumption that mentally ill people abuse.

Don't "yes, but" my post. There is no "yes, but." The post stands exactly as it is because I said exactly what I meant to the first time.

[sygol]

haha! youve fallen for my wicked narcissist trick where i facilitate the ILLUSION that i love you by regularly ACTING compassionate of your feelings and respectful of your needs/boundaries so i can USE you for genuine human connection! ... confused? let me explain: basically, since i lack many of the experiential emotions that ontologically shallow dumbfucks deem as "making us human", im evil despite my behavior & perhaps even a monster! luckily this doesnt upset me because i dont care

[princess-of-misfits]

[redstonedust]

oh of course i love werewolves! theye just big puppers haha. what a good boy doggo. me when my werewolf boyfriend chases his tail and goes awooooo haha. ohhhh wait youre one of the ones that destroys stuff and bites people? :/ i dunno thats like... scary.......... you say you 'cant control it' but like are you sure you're not just making excuses? this meme i found on tiktok says werewolves are just silly puppies. why cant you be a normal werewolf. whats wrong with you.

[godkissedme]

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify