FINALLY SOMEONE WITH OPEN REQUESTS THANK YOU 🥰🤗 This will suddenly take a dArK tUrN- can you do a Paladins (and Allura) x dying reader? Haha idk but I'm in it for the angst and crying 👌👏 You seem like a wonderful person so keep on being wonderful (*˘︶˘*).｡*♡
my cousin gave me the BIGGEST judgemental side eye when she asked what I was writing about and I told her character deaths, I’m tryna not to fite, y’all I ain’t gonna lie imma throw hands frfr
also, so sorry this took so long, I’m pretty sure I rewrote it like five times tryna get it to my damn satisfaction (which is such a nasty habit, don’t reread you’re own shit if you want an honest opinion on it y’all)
also also, I’m on mobile rn so I can’t cut it so just so all y’all know:
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO DEATH/GRIEVING. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT DEATH AND GRIEF AND IT IS MAJOR SAD BOI HOURS AND I WORRY ABOUT YALL AND DONT WANT YOU READING THIS IF YOU KNOW YOU WONT HANDLE IT WELL😤😤😤
this is a long one bois so if you wanna skip around they’ll all be colored as per usual and the order is: Shiro, Lance, Hunk, Keith, Pidge, Allura
The battle wasn’t an easy one by any means, it was touch and go for the whole team. You knew it wasn’t gonna end well, but that had never stopped you from putting forth your all. You swung your weapon, keeping your enemies at bay as much as you possibly could. Your team was all over the place, the enemy having succeeded in separating everyone in hopes of tipping the odds in their favor. It worked.
You couldn’t keep up alone. Fighting had always been instinct to you, you had never felt so overwhelmed as you had in that moment. They were closing in and you had nowhere left to go and no tricks left up your sleeve. You were stuck, and there weren't any quick enough plans to keep you out of harm's way this time.
You held your ground for as long as you could, refusing to give in easily. You fought until your limbs were too exhausted to move and your breathing was too shallow to continue. It was in a moment of hesitation from sluggish movements that they finally overtook you, and you felt pain spread through you, worse than any you had ever felt before.
You heard shouts of panic, you listened as the battle got thicker and the enemy retreated, you smiled at the sound of victory. Your team shouted in excitement, another battle well fought, another win for Voltron.
Attempting to sit up, you felt pain rush your body once again, causing you to groan. Your team's cheers quickly died down as they took in your situation. Before you knew it, your head was being cradled by the person you wanted to see the most at this moment. Their eyes were filled with concern and tears were brimming. You attempted a soft smile, in hopes of comforting them. Your breathing was shaky as the brushed your hair away from your eyes.
“You’re going to be okay.” They promised.
Your last thoughts were of your family, earth, the realization you’ll never feel rain on your face again, of your team, who you hated abandoning, and finally, of the one person you hated leaving the most. You knew you weren’t making it out of this one, you despised you were going to pass in their arms. You wished you could turn back time and fight a little harder, you wished things could be different, that you could live the life the two of you dreamed together.
“Don’t blame yourself.” You whispered in response.
They shook their head in defiance. “Don’t talk like that. We’re gonna get you to the castle and into a med pod and you’re going to be good as new in no time.”
You shakily lifted a hand and brushed a tear from their cheek. “I love you.”
Their face was filled with pain and you knew the only thing keeping them from losing it was this being your final moments. “I love you.” They responded, their voice cracking. They leaned down and gently pressed their lips to yours.
You felt everything around you becoming further and further away.
“I’m sorry.” You whispered out to your team as you took a final shaky breath, your senses being overwhelmed as you felt yourself fading.
The tears kept flowing as he watched the light fade from your usually bright, curious eyes. He pulled you into him as he sobbed into your shoulder, wishing you’d wrap your arms around him and tell him everything was okay, that there was no reason to cry. But you didn’t, and you never would again. Your team surrounded the two of you, tears running down their cheeks as well as they watched their leader completely break in front of them, their friend tucked in his arms unmoving.
He tried to move on. He knew you wouldn’t want him blaming himself or wallowing in misery on your behalf. He mourned you, he still does, but he needs to keep leading the team, he doesn't have time to let the memories of you being by his side drag him into complete uselessness.
It was hard, it took a long time, but eventually he could remember you, his lover, his everything, without crumpling immediately.
When the team got back to earth, it was raining. He stood outside, face tilted to the sky, just letting the water drench him. The rain reminded him of you, you always told him it was what you missed most about earth.
It was as he stood outside, head facing the endless clouds, lighting striking in the far off distance, enduring the first rainstorm he’d felt since before the Kerberos Mission, that he smiled for the first time since the morning before your final battle.
Once you had taken your final breath and your gentle hand slipped off his, all composure he had left was out the window. He screamed and sobbed in the middle of that battlefield. His team knew he had a tendency to keep his emotions at bay, so watching him break over your body, knowing there was nothing they could do to help him, was heartbreaking. They all shared his grief, but none on a level even close to him.
You had been his rock, you helped him keep sane and reminded him he wasn’t a horrible person. He sobbed harder as he remembered how excited you were to meet his family once all of you went back to earth.
After a while he just, stopped. He had run out of tears, he had his moment of grief, he had to stand tall and move on now. Or at least that’s what everyone saw. Every single day of his life, he blamed himself. If only he hadn’t let himself get separated from you, if only he’d gotten to you a little sooner, if only, if only, if only. In the end, he knew there was no changing the outcome, but that didn’t stop him from imagining worlds in which you were still by his side.
He never thought he’d dread finally going home, but as the team landed, and a woman that looked eerily familiar came rushing from the building towards them, he felt himself snap. HE crashed to his knees as the woman came up to the group, looking around at each of them.
“Where are they?” she demanded. “Where is my child?” She had tears in her eyes as she noticed Lance on his knees, holding back tears and hugging himself.
“I’m so sorry ma’am,” Shiro started but she just shoved him away.
“You let them die?! My child died in outer space, surrounded by a bunch of strangers, and you didn’t even try to save them?!” She had tears rushing down her cheeks. “Who do you even think you are? Do you think you deserve to ball up because of them? You don’t even know them! No, nevermind, yes, you do deserve to be down there, not out of pity, but out of remorse. This is all your fault, all of you! My child never should’ve come to this stupid place.”
He flinched as he took in the woman's words.
“That is enough ma’am. Your child died honorably, saving people, and they were our family. We aren’t just some strangers, we’re the people your child died for. So, in all due respect, I suggest you back away from your child's mourning lover and stop slandering the life they died protecting.”
Everyone shut up in shock as Keith put your mother in her place, causing her to take a deep shaky breath, tears slipping from her eyes at last as she took in his words.
Your hand slipped out of his as your eyes fluttered shut for the final time. He didn’t rage, he didn’t scream or burst, he just silently held you a little longer, his tears running down his cheeks until they ran dry. He didn’t have the energy to leave you yet, he never thought you’d be the one to go first.
The team didn’t know what to do, Hunk had always been the emotional one of the team, never being shy with showing his feelings. He wore his heart on his sleeve without regret, but now, he just looked emotionless.
He tried to distract himself. He threw himself into engineering projects and every mission the team ran he put everything he had into completing. He stopped cooking all together, every time he even so much as looked at the kitchen door, his heart would break slightly more. Memories of the two of you spending hours in that room, cooking with space goo and assorted ingredients you found. It hurt too much to attempt doing something you were both passionate about without you.
He was silent as they finally made it back to earth, his family welcomed him home, having adr him his favorite dessert and everything, but he just didn’t have the heart to enjoy it. The two of you had spent countless hours sharing stories and memories and things you wanted to eat when you finally made it back, and that banana cake had been the one thing you couldn’t wait to try.
He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing he could change the past. It was difficult for him to find something to fight for, a future without you having been something he hadn’t considered since the two of you met at the Garrison all that time ago. He came to the conclusion that his heart would never recover, but that wouldn’t stop him from fighting for the future you so easily described to him, a future where aliens and humans could live in peace, where the Galra weren’t an enemy, where the two of you could live out blissful lives together, having done your time in a war that wasn’t supposed to be yours.
His breath got shallow as yours ceased, his heart racing as your own stopped all together.
“This can’t be happening. Y/n please! Please open your eyes. Please,” his broken sobs echoed as the Paladins watched him plead with your lifeless body.
They didn’t know what to do. The normally stoic red paladin was shattering before their own eyes, more emotions flooding him than they expected to be possible. It was heartbreaking to say the least.
They had all lost one of their own that day, but none felt it more than the broken boy.
You were his family. You stuck by him on earth when no one else would, you left the Garrison with him just so he wouldn’t be alone, where there was him, there was you, and now you were gone, and he didn’t know how to cope without you.
He changed. He was already pretty closed off from the rest of the team, he never really smiled a lot, he wasn’t an extremely emotional person, but after his outburst that day, he completely shut off everything. Jokes that Lance would tell that would once make him smirk fell on deaf ears, even Hunks cooking and Shiros dadly advice didn’t pull him out of it.
The team learned to just work around his new behavior, wishing he’d go back to being a hothead or something. Anything.
He pushed his hardest on every mission, fighting as though he had absolutely nothing left to lose, because, in his mind, he didn’t. He felt alone in a universe out to get him, he knew he had friends, a team, even family now, but he didn’t have you, and nothing would be the same because of that. He would never be the same reckless, hotheaded, careless red paladin he once was, because he did all of that stuff knowing you’d either back him up or smack him upside the head.
Everyone told him time would ease the pain, but as he brought flowers to the memorial grave they created for you, on the anniversary of that day, he knew that no amount of time given to him would ease the pain he still felt. Because he was too painfully aware that all of that time given to him was time taken from you.
Pidge was never exactly one to attach to people, not really, and definitely not so emotionally. Attachment to robots? Sure. But human beings were a whole lot more difficult. Which is why when the two of you admitted to being in a relationship, no one saw it coming or knew what to expect, it was completely uncharted territory.
And now, as Pidge was hovering over your body, swearing to find a way to help you, they once again didn’t know what to do.
Pidge sobbed and made halfhearted promises, telling you that you were going to be okay, but knowing you weren’t, and you never would again. It took the entire team to pry Pidge off your dead body, Pidge immediately begging them to let go, just needing to be near you.
After the shock of it all wore off, Pidge holed up in the garage/workspace, working on this project and that, trying desperately to keep distracted, but nothing worked. Every single thing held a memory, every memory brought you back to life, and every memory would ease and you would just vanish all over again.
Countless nights were spent wrapped up in your clothes, with your blanket, in your/on your side of the bed, weeping into the familiar smell of you. Pidge didn’t express emotions very well, but it was obvious this time. The distracted mindset, the distant gazes, the quiet sobs no one else was supposed to hear, all of it made it glaringly obvious that Pidge was not okay.
Pidge took to wearing your clothing more often than not, determined to keep any and every part of you alive so the memories of you would never fade.
Pidge was never one to attach to people, but Pidge also never imagined a life where you weren’t in it.
She watched you drop from the other side of the battlefield, a heartbreaking shriek escaping her throat as she watched you fall. In her mind you were supposed to be invincible, you were her wonderful significant other that gave her a reason to keep going, you were always telling her that everything was gonna turn out the way it’s supposed to, that the two of you were gonna make it through anything that could possibly be thrown your way.
She ruthlessly fought her way to you, no longer caring for leaving as little harm as possible. They hurt you, they didn’t deserve her sympathy. Once she finally got to you, the battle had ended and the other Paladins had joined her in surrounding you.
“Help me get them to the pods.” Allura pleaded, clutching your lifeless body. “They have to be okay. They can be healed, we just need to get them to the pods.” She was frantic, emotional, scared, and panicking.
Keith gently grabbed her shoulder. “They’re gone, Allura. They’re already gone.” The Red Paladin pulled her into his arms and let her release everything that day.
Everything following was a blur. The team moved forward with plans and missions, Allura never missing a beat. There were points when the team was concerned with how well she seemed to be doing, she lost her lover and was seemingly perfectly okay. But late at night, if they listened close enough, they could here the stifled, choked sobs of the princess as she got out all the pent up emotions in preparation for the next exhausting day of not letting her personal life interfere with the mission.
I might be the only one that got emotional™️ during this one, but I hope you all enjoyed🌸
