When I was younger I didn’t understand adoption. I didn't know I was adopted until I was 8 or 9 years old. My parents just sorta told me. We were doing a project for school. It was a family project. Like what’s your name, birthday, where are your parents from, where were you born, traits, a baby picture, things like that. I asked where babies came when I was like 5 or 6. I don’t really remember that conversation. I know a lady at church was pregnant and I wanted to know how. I wanted to know why her belly was so big. My parents told me God creates babies and put them in a mommy’s tummy. I started filling out the project for school and asked my parents for help. I didn’t know much but my name and birthday. That’s when my parents decided to tell me I’m adopted. I was doing the project with my mom and she sorta asked me how would I feel if I had another mommy. I didn’t understand what she was asking me. I told her I would be sad because she was my mommy. She told me she’s my mommy but I didn’t come from her tummy. I was in another woman’s tummy. She said God put me in another woman’s tummy. God created me in my tummy mommy. God wanted me to be with them so my tummy mommy found them and decided to make sure I had a better life. My tummy mommy couldn't take care of me so she chose adoption. I was chosen for my parents. I felt sad and started crying. I don’t know why. I guess I thought I would be taken away or something. I didn’t want another mommy. I asked my mom if she was still my mom and she said yes. She is my mom and will always be. I also asked if dad was my daddy and she said yes. I didn’t think nothing of it. From that point on, I thought everyone had tummy mommies. My mom and dad continued to talk about adoption and what it was. They both sat me down and helped me with the project. I found out how I was born. My parents were in the room in my tummy mommy then brought me home. I felt excited to share this at school. I asked everyone if they had tummy mommies and if they were adopted. They said no. I came home crying because nobody else had tummy mommies and they weren't adopted. My parents told me I was special and chosen just for them. God gave me to them. My tummy mommy created me for them. Of course, I felt happy. I felt special. I started sharing a lot of stuff with people. Even strangers. I told everyone who would listen I was adopted. I was excited to share on stage at church. I even wrote a letter to God to thank him for choosing me for my mom and dad. I went into details about my parents seeing me be born and bringing me home from the hospital. I loved being adopted. My parents shared my adoption too. They were happy I was happy about my adoption.
I guess I started realizing what adoption was when I was like 12 or 13. I started wondering about my birth mom. Who was she? Did I look like her? Why did she give me away? I asked my parents for more information and they told me I’d have to wait until I am 18 years old. They kinda brushed it off. It sucks everyone knows about my adoption. They know things I don’t even know. I do regret sharing a lot of stuff. I wish my parents didn’t share stuff. I live in a small town and I've been going to the same school since pre-k. So from 4 years old until now at 16 almost 17 years old. I told my parents a while ago I don’t want certain things shared. They don’t understand why because I was happy sharing them when I was younger. I guess I don’t like sharing now because I understand what adoption is now. I understand people use my adoption against me. Classmates would make mean comments about me in middle school. Like my real mom never wanted me or I’m adopted because I was a mistake. Most of my classmates are the same people I see at church or at the supermarket. Most of them I’ve been with since pre-k, kindergarten, or 1st grade. Being bullied for being adopted really hurts me. It doesn't help me and my parents shared a lot of stuff. I can’t erase it. Everyone knows. I started cutting myself in 8th grade. My parents sent me to a therapist. I’m still in therapy. I do have classmates and friends who don’t make fun of me. A few think it’s cool I’m adopted. Others keep asking me questions I don’t like to answer. It’s still hard dealing with this.
