#aedari

[mangaka-neko-chan]

I couldn't resist drawing more Marzi smoochin.

[kirbyeatsgrass]

Finally got around to making a scenery

Some ok photos but it is mainly complete. I’m missing a few guys but we have Eldar vs. Space Marines vs. Necrons vs. Drukhari. Only a few models for some of the factions but still growing. Yeah enjoy!

[jetblackraider]

Very pleased Exodite

[lilyhummingbird]

Fire

Dear Diary, I'm a terrible person. Or maybe I'm not because maybe he deserved it? I don't know. I really don't know. He says he deserved it but what if I was that much closer? I could hear Miss Seri as she treated him. She said if he was a little closer it could have been worse. It could have killed him. Can my flames really do something like that? Kill simply just because of what it is? But he really is an idiot. Who follows someone after they've been burned by them? I had been walking and at first it was alone but as usual people join me. I had passed him a few times, seeing that he was talking to Ezekeal, Behmyn's brother. He never looked in my direction, he never spoke to me, and this made my anger rise even more. Eventually Zidane joined me and we spoke on little things. I can't even remember what we talked about anymore. I think it was Casus. Rhonae and her goat joined us, she was napping again which tends to happen on occasion. And then there was a silent stranger but he wore our tabard so I felt no reason to feel alarmed. I went to my ledge in the Training Grounds. Watching as a few people were taught by veterans. Everything remained quiet around us but then I heard him. And as usual, he asked if he could join us. I don't know what tipped it off to Zidane but he tried to get Roldien to walk away. I ended up trying to. I could feel the heat in my hands warming up my skin. It is still a little raw but not a burn. Closer to a light sunburn than anything. But he followed and I was trying to get away from the noise but the city was packed today. To be expected though. And then I just reeled. He didn't understand why I was mad. How could he not? And I yelled and then the fire did escape my fingers and he was set on fire and I just walked away. And he followed like a stubborn mule! I wanted to do it again but I was afraid to look to see what I had done. I didn't get to look at the burns at all. I continued to yell and tell him that if he had just left me alone and moved on without this, then things would be better. I wouldn't be so angry. I can't be jealous! But you cannot control your emotions either. And then his arms were around my waist and I could feel his forehead pressed into my back as he tried to talk me down. How can he sit there and do that when I had done that to him? I don't understand! I don't think I can understand why. And before I knew it... I blacked out. It wasn't like the usual ones. I could feel the pain in my chest at first. I never feel the pain before. And I went down so slowly I was almost afraid I was having a heart attack. But I woke up, falling over, which scared the hell out of me. I didn't know where I was and there were people everywhere. My head was pounding and my chest was aching. I just wanted things to be quiet and for everyone to get away. V was there. He gave me something for the pain and it did help. A tea. He may seem like an asshole but he is actually fairly nice. I ended up reading his book that he gave me later. I could hear Seri talking about Roldien's injury. About how bad it was. And I could hear the waver in his voice as the pain had hit him. I still didn't look. Zidane was there to check up on me. He made sure I was alright before he went home to sleep. He trained with Minn'da today so he needed the rest. Aedari was there, or at least I heard her on the comm and her voice is a very annoying thing right now. V jokingly mentioned being able to count Roldien's ribs, which I knew wasn't true, and she panicked to say she'd be right there. She was then there and got fussy because people were arguing. She's a stupid bitch. Self righteous and believes she can do no wrong. I bet she's a hypocrite too. The way she talks on things, even the most casual of things, she always throws a fit and I just want to burn her too. Just like how she was apparently very upset even after she left. So upset she was afraid to go to Pandaria in case she got attacked by the Sha for her negative emotions. Right now, I just don't like her. Though I was never fond of her to begin with anyway. Though people filtered out and I couldn't get up yet until my head stopped spinning. Roldien couldn't move until the pain felt better. Amor had helped him with that. I don't know who he is but he seems nice. How can he still be nice to me when I could have killed him? I just don't understand him. He then told me when he asked what my goals were that he didn't mean my big goals. He meant my little goals to make me happy. I couldn't answer him. I actually don't know. I've been so focused on my studies I actually didn't know that answer. Why does that scare me? Lily

[lilyhummingbird]

Anger

Dear Diary, The anger is coming back again. The soft lull of quiet days where things are safe has seemed to shifted as my emotions seem to take turns I will never understand. I enjoyed the peace and quiet and yet, I regret the actions in which I took, particularly yesterday. Ann'da told me. I think he has his own sick pleasure on watching the reactions of others, particularly violent ones but Minn'da tells me that fighting in any relationship is healthy because if you agree on everything or if the person just does everything right then that just isn't natural. He told me that Aedari's heart monitor went off, telling me this while I did my late night drawings. I didn't have my earring on and he told me that Roldien said everything was alright. Well, when I had left I had left the two of them together. So maybe something scared her? But then he said there was a mentioning of muscles and his own implications and teasing that I could hear from his end only made me frown and I messed up the rune. It exploded. It took an hour to get the soot out of my hair. And it just festered. It festered all day. What reason did he need to have his shirt off? Increased heart rate is what Aedari said when she tried to explain love to me. Along with blushing and other things. Though by now I understand most of what she explained was lust. Did she lust for him? I had never taken the opportunity to see him in an exposed state. Each time he was sort of injured and that is no time to stare! Maybe, no, I am jealous. I can't help but feel that way because the feelings I have for him have not gone away and he's been my support through much as I have been for him. And as this anger festered it only got worse and the grounding I had done for the morning came undone, particularly that evening. But I snapped at Mother. I don't want to make her worry over trivial things. She's about to pop and my little sister will be with us soon. Negative emotions would be bad for her but she is a good listener. I need to talk to her about it but even though I should, I don't think it would change anything. It seems that he is no different than other men. Men like Zidane who claims love and then is absolutely infatuated with a girl who forced him into a relationship. It honestly makes my stomach turn when he starts in on that. Because then I wonder if he understands what love is. Minn'da always said never say it unless you know that you mean it. Leiran can barely say it unless it is to us, his family but I'm sure he's said it to Rhonae! I need to talk to Mother today... if she doesn't pop of course. But it only got worse when I was heading home and I always stop by the Inn in Falconwing to see if the lady there can make me her honey tea. It is the best really. And there was Seri and Roldien leaning against one another. And my mind clicked to the bad things. It took me a moment to realize Uncle Kol'turu was there. And I almost did something bad. I almost let my anger flow and well, did something illogical. I'm glad I didn't. I was told that the magical rebound of the spell they were doing could have really hurt Seri. I'm not mad at her. Just... mad at him. Maybe a little at Aedari. She has a boyfriend! But I just stormed off. Uncle Kol'turu followed after me. We probably would have talked longer if the comm hadn't gone off. Seri didn't react well to whatever memory thing she as doing. There were traps set in his memories from the Old God but now his head is fixed and Seri is a little bit of a mumbled mess. I went home to set up her room and make sure that there were things she'll need. I let Minn'da and Ann'da know so that they could keep an eye on her too but I bet Uncle Kol'turu is going to be staying with her. She likes apples, so I left four in a bowl by her bed. I hope she gets better. And I'll set Roldien on fire another time. Lily

[lilyhummingbird]

Friends and Learning

Dear Diary, Minn'da and Ann'da took me to the side today and discussed with me traveling with Master Za'hiro. I couldn't believe my ears. They were considering letting me travel to make my learning even more well versed! But first they had to talk with Mother to see what she thought before they made their final decision. But now I've got so much to look forward to! After I recover of course. I spent most of the day outside by the fountain putting notes in my spellbook. Roldien came and found me and sat down with me, relaxing as well since he was recovering from far worse of an injury than I was. Every so often I could see him wince with his movements. My book intrigued him of course, it honestly didn't surprise me. Books just seem to intrigue him. So when the text would come to the surface and then disappear? He seemed quite amazed and I couldn't help but feel happy for it. We talked about magic and runes, more me talking and him listening. I want to teach him so he can be a better Spellbreaker, like Minn'da. I know that he can do it, I can sense that his flow is made for it and he just didn't understand it. So after dinner I brought him a book on basic runes and he accepted it quite willingly. As we sat there more and more people showed up. First was Aedari and she seemed tired, more just happy to be around people. She was quick to aid in whatever conversation we were in at the time. Master Za'hiro showed up and we were about to start talking about traveling before Cadmus showed up and put a rock in our conversation. He was just so... mean. He eventually went away and we talked about places in Kallimdor. Winterspring, Stonetalon, Un'goro... all were spoken about and each place sounds so amazing! They told me about Devilsaurs and then Xorin showed up. I smiled at him, I felt I needed to. He's been so lost and I wish I could make it better. But I know I can't. So many time people have tried to help him but it just hasn't happened. And then Z showed up and he seemed to be his usual self. He hugged Xorin and he would just be patted in comfort. In the end he came to sit with me. We continued to talk and it turned to relationships. By this time Za'hiro had left and Xorin picked up his stuff and left as well, continuing to tease Z about him dating Nixy. I still find that strange. And I let them know I'm not allowed to date. And then something was pointed out that I didn't even notice. Z had pointed it out and I looked down to see that Roldien was holding my hand. It felt, comforting from when he had put his arms around me earlier when I had gotten upset. I did draw back and we continued to talk. Z ended up going to the Inn and going to bed and Aedari did as well. And as always it was left with just myself and Roldien. He was acting a little odd and his eyes were a little fuzzy. I gave him a good night hug and told him to read his book so we could discuss it later. And then I was home. It was a nice day, it really was. No worries, very little anger. Why can't days be like that more often? Lily