#afamilial experience

[ebulatheduck]

ahh the joys of having to rely on family for transportation

we're going on a family trip to the zoo and we've been trying to leave for 45 minutes lol

[raccoon-go-bweh]

mothers day and being afamilial is not fun.

I stalled so much writing a card, like no... I don't love you. I don't want to face the punishment of sounding like a "robot" either. I see that my mom puts effort into parenting... that's true. I want her less overworked, but to the same degree I want a random teacher of mine less overworked. I want you to rest because this is an arbitrary holiday and everyone is overworked in this collapsing, exploitative society and this gives you a chance to rest.

But I don't love you. I honestly want you out of my life as soon as I can. And it's you who's made me feel broken for that as you've denied it and treated it as a failing since I was fucking 6 years old. I've repeatedly admitted I don't love any of them and they don't accept it.

I don't love you. Leave me alone.

Also no, I don't want to be crammed to the car's max capacity with siblings who every time they touch me I get violent intrusive thoughts, just to babble and wander around.

I don't owe you affection for genetic relation, I owe not getting in the way of your rest, and the same things I owe any other human.

[disclaimeriamaloser]

so I’m afamilial right? And in a show me and my. Family. Is watching, there’s a couple who r trying to have a kid and said something like “but adoption always makes the most sense” and my dad was like “but some people just want their own kid sometimes” and I was like ??????? Yes that’s what adoption is the kid becomes your kid……. And I said something like “yeah but that doesn’t actually affect it” and my dad was like “it’s biological, just human nature” and all doubts of me being afamilial have been erased from my head.

also guys come on can we get some better rep for adoption in here? Who gives a shit if ur kid is biological or not????? It’s still your kid??????? Like guys come on.

[raccoon-go-bweh]

so much masking for Father's day, I made a really impersonal linocut that I used as practice,

wrote in his card, "Happy Father's Day! Rest, have a bird print. -My Name"

I do not fucking care, like physically and financially parenting should be easier, but you fucking chose to not use protection (I have my grievances with his parenting too) and I don't love you nor owe shit. Byeeee

Being afamilial is fun /s

[ebulatheduck]

aaaaand both of my parents are still asleep

i'm genuinely surprised because my dad usually wakes up at like 7am

oh wait he's gone

he went to pick up my brother from my grandparents

that's why

my mom is the only parent in the house right now

and she usually sleeps like forever

whelp i gotta take care of my siblings now i guess

[ebulatheduck]

things that have affirmed me in my afamilial identity:

my sister getting withdrawals from my brother who just left the state for like a month to stay with my grandparents and has only been gone for maybe three weeks at most

meanwhile i am completely unfazed and in fact annoyed with having to spend time with my other two siblings that are still here

[raccoon-go-bweh]

im 80 minutes from getting to haz biggg cheezborger

I fuckin hate this car though, I intrusive thoughts and hate for bio "family" is frequent when forced to be around them but I need to do "family" stuff to lower the quota for a while and meeting with my grandpa with them lowers that and he always covers the bill so I can go to town on food hehe

[raccoon-go-bweh]

Parents made me go along to family bullshit in the city- 5 people in a tiny-ass car with kids who don't give a fuck about my space; touching me and making me tense-up- worsening my chronic pain.

We went to "just get burgers" from some popup thing at a bakery, waited 40 minutes to get food as the kids are loudly bantering, just for parents to fucking decide to stay after we finished to sit around for no fucking reason.

Then they decide to go a park, something not planned nor told to me- which is fine in it's the least bad place I've been at. It's where I am now- except they're fucking rushing me to keep up with their pace despite that I'm disabled...

They're planning-in ice cream at a specific place 20 minutes in that fucking tiny car, then another 40 minutes home.

I don't want fucking ice cream, I want to go home.

Then, they have the nerve to ask why I'm not enthusiastic, why I don't smile in photos, why I'm mad. THEY FUCKING MADE ME COME HERE goddammit, you made me do this, every fucking time they drag me along for "family unity" to look "correct" in photos of a family I don't want anything to do with, then fucking complain that I hate it and don't look happy for their facade of unity.