#ahhhhhg

[duke-is-the-shit]

FUCK I THE NON FAST PAST READER I AM JUST GOT THE CHAPTER AND OH MY GOD

MY BABYSSSSSSS DDDDDD:

I TOLD YALL YOU WEREN’T READY IM STILL NOT OVER THIS SHIT

[positiveoatmilkmotel]

Long vent(?) and question;

I know I have mutuals with dissociative disorders I’m gonna be discussing in here and I love all of yall, so if this should be taken down let me know. But if anyone could help me settle this, I would appreciate it so much, because this has been a debate of mine for years now;

How would I know if I had OSDD? Specifically 1b, with no amnesia. My guess right now is it’s just an Unspecified Dissociative Disorder (UDD), I don’t think it fits to a category well, so I’ve been just sticking with that if anything. Maybe it’s that I have a very bad time processing normal identity shifts? And OSDD is caused by childhood trauma, my ages 11-13 were bad but it wasn’t like what I’ve seen causes dissociative disorders in others? It was bad and prolonged but Idk if it’s bad enough, to cause OSDD.

Plus, people say age 9 is the cut off, with maybe a few sources mentioning the trauma occurring in middle schoolers. Maybe my developmental delays and prematurity could influence that

I’ve looked into it, I’ve analyzed myself and experiences with selves. I relate to most plural or DID post I see, I have experienced really freighting ‘fragmentating’ follow prolong stress/trauma. I have studied OSDD and DID, I relate to it medically and think the symptoms align with my own. My gender identity changes, I have two names that feel like different personalities, my selves feel like they have different ages. I feel like my sense of being “one person” is as reasonable as me being multiple people, I think I’m making up a stable self. Internally I refer to myself as “we” and it’s like I’m talking and debating with different aspects of myself. When I’m tried or under intense internal stress, I feel more like one person than another, and sometimes I’m able to actually talk and be talked to by them.

There’s no audio hallucination, at most It feels like hearing voices in the same way a dream or heavy daydream feels like “hearing”. But it’s rare that I talk to them,,

I hope this is a good metaphor but; It’s like we all share a house; they feel very much in a back room, and bringing them up feels like I’m inviting them to the living room for a group meeting. But no one thinks the house is steady enough to all be in the living room, so we get into a fight, and everyone goes into their own room again. Sometimes there’s background chatter, little comments, but i can consider that just me-thinking. And sometimes they’ll walk back into the living room and give an important announcement, or stay for a bit. They’re usually bitter about not being in the living-room, but they do what’s best

Michael did that! That’s a big reason I started using the name Michael on here. This green guy is chill as fuck and I love him, and he really is good as being calm and loving life. Michael decided he wanted to be around more often, to be a part of me that got to exist. And he is very good at balancing and withdrawing when needed. But he just feels like myself too, and someone else, it’s so blurred,

But I don’t know, and I don’t know how to know. I don’t even think my view of this issue is stable, I’m either so certain I have this stuff or so uncertain. I have had internal arguments with myself, because the blue girl doesn’t want this to become a big deal, Micheal just wants to be a man openly sometimes and is happy when things stay stable enough for him to do that, and I keep getting freaked out with debating it

I don’t know if it’s my imagination, or something real, Or what. I want to make art of them, and understand myself better, and I want to acknowledge them even if they don’t want to be acknowledged. But I also can’t take away from people with the disorder, and inputting my own experience with these identities doesn’t feel right unless I’m formally diagnosed

I have only ever had my disorders formally diagnosed, everything I talk about In my own health is validated by a doctor and my own research into that disorder. So with OSDD, and even UDD, I simply don’t know, and I am so so tired of the doctors that I really don’t want to seek a formal diagnosis

Throughout this whole feel it’s like I’ve felt like 3 different people, a Michael, a Arcadia, and a Katie (or Cady, Arcadia’s bitter towards her). and yet they all fit within some form of stability. I keep editing what I wrote and disagreeing with it

If anyone could help me out here. How would I recognize it in myself? What does being ‘plural’ even look like? How should I define it, if at all? Should I even be looking into this, if I can just as much relate to a single identity? Idk yo. Should I make art on this,

[maitx0x0]

✮Nancy Wheeler✮

.............................................

I love how this drawing turned out; I don't do realism or semi-realism

I don't upload many of my traditional drawings either, but I loved this one.

[ultimategazer]

i HATE how britannica doesnt have ANY information about animals beyond their scientific name and maybe their most well known facts, because how am i supposed to research for the animal hybrid au? the wing au? go to WIKIPEDIA?!!!? my schools drilled it into me to never go there in like 3rd or 4th grade and now its one of the ONLY places i can check????

[ajskz]

AHHHHHHHHHHG I CANT BREATHE

[ghostchems]

we got a BILLBOARD, rumors of a SINGLE next WEDNESDAY and a PREVIEW for the sister imperator comic!??

[who-can-touch-my-boob]

<- Sanemi simp posts masterlist

*Me noticing that my top posts are no longer solely Sanemi posts and starts stressing about creating more Sanemi simping content:*

<- me and also me ->

[indiestsnake]

if the deltarune fandom keeps posting Kris angst I swear to god I will. cry