39. Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?
Sally initiated the relationship, picking Cordelia out of a crowd immediately and hooking her dependency to her.
There was something about Cordelia that Sally just couldn’t comprehend. Something so pure and bright and golden.
And while she had wanted to kiss Cordelia almost from the moment she set eyes on her, she was afraid.
She knew Cordelia was different, and she knew if she somehow screwed it up and lost her, she would never forgive herself.
For Cordelia, it was a bit different.
She didn’t really realize that Sally had initiated any kind of anything until two weeks in when she couldn’t stop thinking about her.
She often dreamt about her, whispers in the night drawing her to a restless sleep. Something about her universe felt off when Sally wasn’t by her side, and Cordelia found herself going back to that hotel over and over again.
Cordelia kissed Sally first.
They had been at the bar, where they usually met, drinking just a bit too much and getting just a bit too handsy.
Cordelia couldn’t stop staring at the way Sally licked over her blood red lipstick when her tears fell, or the way her brow pushed up whenever Cordelia talked, like she needed to listen to her more than she needed to breathe.
And before she knew what was happening Sally was practically in her lap, both of them laughing and biting their lips and looking at each other from lidded eyes.
But there were people there, everywhere. And so Cordelia — yes, Cordelia — had asked if they could go somewhere a bit quieter.
Sally’s hand clamped down around hers as she dragged her back to her room. Almost too eager. Almost too fast.
But they only made it halfway, Cordelia giggling and stumbling after her. Because no sooner had Cordelia’s hands skimmed over Sally’s hips and tugged at her dress, than Sally had her pinned against the wall, panting over her as Cordelia squirmed.
It only took Sally’s eyes flicking to Cordelia’s lips, teeth scraping over lipstick, and then Cordelia couldn’t help herself.
That first kiss was rough.
These are two very dominant women, as soft as they both are, and they were both drunk. So it was a lot of fighting with their mouths — sloppy, messy, biting kisses.
But when they got interrupted by March and Cordelia brought her hand up to her mouth to find that the sting there was blood on her lip, she didn’t really mind.
Maybe she wanted Sally dominating her and shoving herself at her and forcing Cordelia into submission until she couldn’t breathe.
Maybe she wanted to hold Sally down and unravel her and show her who was boss.
Even drunk, Cordelia didn’t miss the way Sally’s entire demeanor changed at March’s presence, the confident woman suddenly so submissive as she backed herself between him and Cordelia, fiery eyes downcast.
So when March started picking on her and bossing her and raising his voice, Cordelia’s hands immediately found Sally’s waist.
Sally grounded herself in the comfort there, reminding herself what she had, and what she refused to lose, and found strength in Cordelia’s presence, grabbing at her wrist and yanking her past March, down the hall, and into the safety of her room.
And when Sally shut the door, tears falling against her will as her heart pounded, Cordelia was right there, pressing the softest kisses to her cheeks. Suddenly sober. Suddenly entirely too gentle as she walked Sally back to the bed and straddled her and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.
Sally fell in love almost immediately, after Cordelia came back for the third time and something lit within her at the mere sight of her.
She hadn’t let herself feel it the second time Cordelia came back.
Just in case it was just a coincidence. Just in case she wasn’t there to see Sally.
But that third time, that third time...
It felt different than the hollow hope and want and desperation that normally clawed at her.
When she was around Cordelia, she felt light. She felt like she was good, like she had a purpose and was meant to exist.
But she didn’t realize she was in love with her until maybe a month in, when they were having sex and she was grinding out all of her pleasure on Cordelia’s lap, and Cordelia was forcing her to go slow, to be soft about it, peppering feathery kisses across her face and chest and murmuring soft utterances of “good girl” and “my girl” and “beautiful”.
The words had almost come out of Sally’s mouth as she orgasmed, and she had to dig her teeth into her bottom lip to hold them in, because the feeling hit her like a train, and the last thing she wanted was to ruin what she had and lose the one person that she finally, finally, realized actually meant something to her.
It grew on Cordelia like a vine, harmless and flowering until it was choking her and squeezing her and she realized that she couldn’t live without Sally. That they were bound together forever.
The thought crossed her mind for the first time one night when Sally had fallen asleep, tears dried and lipstick smeared off, the covers on the bed barely covering her waist and leaving her thin, freckled, pale arms completely exposed.
Cordelia had kissed her then, just at the top of her shoulder, and realized that she didn’t want to be in a bed without Sally. She didn’t want to live in a world without Sally.
Whispered it right into the still night air because she knew herself.
She barely said that to anyone, had barely said it to Hank on their wedding night. But she felt compelled to say it now, something about the atmosphere pushing it out of her and making her feel safe.
Somehow she knew Sally wasn’t going to say no.
Somehow she knew that Sally loved her, too.
She pressed another kiss to her shoulder, murmuring the words into her skin. And Sally’s eyes fluttered open as her hand reached behind her and gripped Cordelia’s wrist.
She turned slowly, eyes wide. “What did you say?”
“I said I love you, darling.”
“You don’t mean that. You don’t want to love me.” Tears dropped against Sally’s will.
Cordelia silenced her with a kiss. “Yes, I do.”
And then Sally was in her arms, and they were kissing so fervently that Cordelia couldn’t be sure if the wet on her face was from Sally’s teeth or tongue or tears.
They had nice, soft, sensual sex that night, coming over and over and over to the soundtrack of “I love you”s.
And every time Cordelia let the phrase drop from her heart, Sally was right here, sucking it out of her mouth with a desperate “say it again.”
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