#aking sinta

[ziscreet]

Ref:

I love when Character A doesn't copy the exact expression and instead emulates something way goofier

[pointofgaya]

—car ride with gaya ᯓ ⁺₊ ♱ .ᐟ

⠀⠀⠀✩°｡ gaya ⋆ she/her ; '04 liner ⸜ 🎧✮

⋆ navigation ⋆ reminders ⋆ library ⋆ alternative

— tags .ᐟ

#aking ginhawa — enhypen ⭑ #aking kanlungan — straykids ⭑ #aking sinta — other babies

#carpool with gaya — questions ⭑ #yoursgaya, #xoxogaya, #pointofgaya— works ⭑ #ligaya diary — rants 'n shit, etc. ⭑ #gayapproves — fic recs !

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ do not repost. ⋆˚࿔

[jungstruly]

I just found out that black & white Jung Jaehyun pics really hits differently.

[marionmctngy-blog]

Aking sinta,

[ziscreet]

List of things I like hearing people say

(❤️ for things I really love/from a special someone)

"Hm"

"Pfft" ❤️

"Clearly"

"Wonderful"

"Oh dear"

"With all due respect"

"My condolences"

"Right"

"Alright"

"[...] is taking me out"

"Ong"

"Fr"

"Ahaha" ❤️

"Heh"

"Eheh"

"Hh(h+)"

"[insert any keyboard smashing/gibberish]"

"a"

"Ehehe" ❤️

"Ouh" ❤️

"Hilarious"

"Be so fr"

"Are you fr"

"Are you ok(ay/etc)?"

"Are you alright?"

"Alright then"

"?" ❤️

"Oh?" ❤️

":>"

":D" ❤️

"[Insert any laugh such as ahaha or ehhaha]" ❤️

"I'm wheezing" ❤️

"Oof"

"Oh boy"

"WHEEZE"

"BAHA"

"I-" (yes, fight me, I actually find this amusing rather than cringe)

"U(h)m" ❤️

"I love you." ❤️

"I actually really like this"

"Don't you?"

"Don't be a dick"

"Pleaseeeee...."

"Come on"

"Send my regards"

"Good morning/day/night/timezone"

"Or you could do that, yea"

"Yea" ❤️

"Go ahead"

"I expected nothing less"

"Exceeded my expectations"

"Cut like it was butter" (or whatever)

"I'm famished"

"Cooked"

"Slay" (is this considered old)

"Tf"

"Shitty"

"Twinning"

"Mood" ❤️

"In my opinion"

"<3" ❤️

"</3" ❤️

"Lowkey"

"Lordy" ❤️

"Burn it down" ❤️

"meow" ❤️

"Pretty"

"I thought so too"

"That's what I thought"

"Indeed"

"Call a spade a spade"

"Discreet" ❤️

"Incredible"

"Inconceivable"

"Threshold"

"You will not."

"Stay behind me"

"I got this" (also when funny)

"Don't"

"Hey there"

"May I?"

"You wound me!"

"Bro.."

"Bro what"

"Wha?" ❤️

"I'm gonna piss myself laughing"

"What is that"

"I can't breathe" (BECAUSE OF LAUGHING) ❤️

"Help" (funny context) ❤️

"Erm" (yea you can see this as the nerd emoji ig)

"Whateverrrrr" (silly)

"Good god" (silly)

"Funni"

"Silly" ❤️

"Yay"

"Hurray"

"Yippee" ❤️

"Huzzah"

"Whoohoo"

"Whoo" ❤️

"Ah" ❤️

"Mkay" ❤️

"Mm" ❤️

"That's so funny"

"....I will accept this."

"Guh" ❤️

"Joyous" ❤️

"Joy" ❤️

"Far be it for me to [...]"

"Mhm" ❤️

"Awh" ❤️

[ziscreet]

// My Dreams Are in Russian

My dreams are spoken in Russian.

Sometimes it's English

Sometimes it's Russian but in an American accent.

Which I wonder what the significance is,

Taking things in such a way,

sounding both rough and soft. at times

At times,

I question if I'm supposed to be in certain places

Listening to my grandparents speak Tagalog, probably gossiping or talking about politics and things I don't like in certain conversations

as I sit at the table eating too much food

smiling sweetly like I wasn't daydreaming about someone who is not a boy

Listening to my friends who sit near me, or talk loud enough for me to hear a table over, talking like it's easy

it's natural

they're connecting with people who aren't me.

I wonder how to connect to them

I miss eating peaches

I could ask, of course.

I could ask for so much

But look at the blue

Look at the people on television

Or contained in small screens

Isn't that interesting?

My heart pounds with every message I receive, every "letter" sent through screens.

I might as well be drooling

And as I type this my head is pounding

See, that's the thing about love

My dogs are adorable and I would care about them forever, I care about them more than a lot of humans

But it is hard to feel okay when their barking pierces your ears, because they don't know better, because everything is to be barked at.

Everything will be alright

It's going to be fine

I'm sorry

I'm sorry.

For five moons and suns, my bones and muscles are bleak, and most of all my mind.

Yet on those two ending suns and moons after the five harrowing ones,

A blueberry does not leave much taste in my mouth.

Shame takes on the look of something bigger than me,

pains me,

holds me back.

But only for a while

Then Russian sings softly in my ears

And I pray that it does for you too

Our characters aren't actually having a much nicer time than us

On many levels, instead of languid it's estranged,

Instead of love it is wonder, awe.

My wrist will not know full peace again

And not a single person can comfort it.

But again, Russian women sing without me understanding

And I read foreign letters alongside your profile picture and name of that same language,

knowing yet not identifying.

or identifying yet not knowing

feeling yet not having

having yet not feeling

Do you want to eat a meal together?

Go to the movies?

Speak softly so I might once be able to perceive the Russian conversations in my dreams?

I don't know what's happening

Grass and yellow flowers cross my vision,

But when I go to them, walking all slow and calm,

they are in fact just grayish-red and white.

No soft pink from blueberry. But soft pink from черника.

It's not true.

Mahal kita

Hold a weight; you wouldn't have to try

I don't even see the red string, yet I am confident in this new thing, still going, still bleeding without me getting lightheaded

Ever steady, ever reassuring.

Without the softness.

Without the Russian

[ziscreet]

List of things I'm doing for my partner:

- Changed from not wanting children to wanting children🔸️

- Giving up on my dream of living in the city, at least for that faraway long stage of my life, because they want to live in the countryside and they're afraid of the ocean🔸️

- Listening to pop and tolerating Kpop more🔸️

- Getting back into rp games and roleplaying on Roblox

- Posting less rarely but still infrequently on Instagram🔸️

- Played Among Us for the first time in a while🔸️

- Downloaded Gacha Life 2🔸️

- Appreciate Purple Rain by Prince more

- Becoming super interested in Russian culture, songs, everything

- Choosing less anger

- Yapping more🔸️

- Taking initiative

- Spending more money

- Planning on getting a job

- Played horror games more

- Played FNAF games

- Played dress up popular trendy games🔸️

- Played damn town rp games🔸️

- Liking mangoes so much more

- Loving peaches EVEN MORE

- Cats are even cuter somehow

- Going back to my stage of loving wolves

- Drawing furry-like things

- Played simulator and shitty and grinding and money and copypaste games🔸️

- Trying to cuss less or at least say "Fuck" far less🔸️

- Having ten million things to watch and read and listen to

- Somehow turning flirty and more bold and witty🔸️

- Wanting to focus on practicing eye contact

- Not giving a hell about bloating due to my period

- Appreciating my voice and singing more

- Appreciating monsters and horror art more

- Liking gothic content more

- Liking angst even more

- Finding a way to like churches (NOT because of religion, just the aesthetic quality)🔸️

- Un-gendering even more things. At the same time, switching gender expectations EVEN MORE

- Feeling happier and no depression, most of the time I don't even feel emo

[ziscreet]

Your voice momentarily stopped being soft, but then I realized...it had become loud and rough from being passionate. You were talking about writing, after all.

Amazing. I love you