“He is perfect and totally your type,” your friend tells you that sentence for probably the fifth time in class and you groan lightly as you turn towards her. She smiles, looking too innocent for someone who is plotting to get you a date, making you sigh.
“Fine, you can introduce me to him today,” you reply and she does a little jump in her seat as you look away quickly, hoping the professor did not catch that.
As soon as class ends, she almost drags you across the campus as you beg her to slow down, which she skilfully ignores. Somewhere in between, you see two guys approaching you, and you look at your friend and back at them, slowly realising she has found the person she wants you to meet.
“This is Geonwoo,” she says as you smile awkwardly and shake hands with him. He was tall and had a calm vibe surrounding him, but you still can’t pinpoint how your friend has decided on a happily ever after with him so fast.
Your friend starts yapping about something to Geonwoo and you don’t miss the small sparkle in his eyes as he calmly listens to her, but you decide to brush it away for a while. You take out your phone when you hear a small ring of notification, when suddenly a voice behind you speaks, “Geonwoo, I have been looking for you everywhere.”
You turn your head embarrassingly fast at the deep voice and behind you is a man who looks way too gorgeous for his own good.
He is wearing a long coat with black rimmed glasses and you breathe a little slower than usual. You hear Geonwoo say something to him and he looks at you and you blink, unable to tell anything.
“Hi, I am Xinlong,” he smiles and you force yourself to come back to reality as you reply with a ‘hello’ and your name. Your friend, however, is blissfully unaware of your situation as she happily yaps away with even Xinlong, who matches her energy a little as they laugh at something she says.
A week later, you find yourself sharing a table at the cafeteria with the two guys regularly. By this time, you know them well and can talk about some common topics, mostly about classes and assignments. You are also pretty accommodating with the fact that Geonwoo leaves the table early because his class starts an hour before.
And every day, your friend tags along with him, yapping away. At this point, you are beginning to doubt the fact that she is trying to get you and Geonwoo together.
But who are you to complain when you secretly love the company you are left with? You love hearing Xinlong talk as you give your inputs sometimes. The talks are mostly dumb, but you are usually too whipped to care. Soon, your friend starts to even ‘nag’ Geonwoo on his way back to the dorm and you are secretly happy about it because it means Xinlong looks around confused and you can offer to walk together.
One day you are peacefully arranging your files when you see a text pop up and you glance at your phone. The name Xinlong shines on the screen as you open it to see him ask you for a walk around campus. You don’t even think twice as you put on a better-looking tee and lock your dorm and walk out.
Xinlong is waiting for you at a distance and you lightly sprint towards him as he waves at you. “What’s up?” your voice is soft as you ask and he shrugs, saying, “Just wanted to go on a walk since I was bored in my room anyway.”
“Geonwoo isn’t there?” you ask and then you shake your head, remembering that your friend isn’t there in your dorm either. “Never mind,” you murmur and a light laugh leaves his lips as he says, “They should just get together at this point.”
“I know right?” you mutter as you walk by the pavement lit by the paper lanterns that are hanging over it. Conversation flows easily when you are with him, but a few steps ahead when silence fell between you two, it wasn’t heavy and awkward. Instead, it is pretty comfortable as the autumn breeze hits your body, which makes you shiver lightly.
Xinlong seems to notice as he quietly asks, “Why are you dressed so lightly?” You shrug once, saying, “I am not cold, don’t worry,” while clutching the sleeves of your full-sleeved t-shirt. Without another word, Xinlong wraps his coat around you. Your steps halt and you look at him, warmth creeping up your cheeks when you see his eyes already on yours.
Immediately, you try to get the coat off your shoulders, but his hands hold the coat in place as he stutters out, “Hey, wait, I have a cardigan on if you can’t see.” You open your mouth to reply, but then close it again, not knowing what to say except staring at his hands still on the coat around you.
Xinlong also senses it as his hands fall suddenly to the side and an awkward cough leaves his lips. For a moment, you two stand there quietly, but you decide to give in, slowly wrapping his coat tighter around yourself and continue walking. You try to ease the tension in the air by talking again, this time about some assignment and thankfully, he replies along making you sigh in relief.
But the smell of his coat around you doesn’t make you think straight as you hum along to something he is saying. His fingers have accidentally brushed against yours twice now and you are grateful for the dark that doesn’t allow him to see your flushed cheeks.
After a while, you walk back to the dorm and you try to give him his coat back. Xinlong firmly says ‘no’, which warms your ears up further as you stand there face to face. He is looking down, unable to look you in the eye, but you still say, “Fine, I will just give it back tomorrow.” Your voice comes out in a whisper and he just nods quietly. Your eyes are now tracing his features, the low-light accentuating them beautifully and for a moment, when he looks up, you can feel your eyes sliding towards his lips.
You mentally slap yourself and before it gets any worse, you say good night and almost run back towards your building as Xinlong stands there stunned.
The next day, you are unexceptionally quiet in class, in your thoughts and doodling at the end of your notebook, repeatedly playing last evening’s events in your mind. Your cheeks grow warm and you glance at your friend once who doesn’t seem to notice. As soon as the bell rings, you almost run outside the class to catch Xinlong before he leaves for his dorm.
You zoom past the students as you almost miss Xinlong, who is already walking towards his dorm. “Xinlong,” you call out and he turns around and his face automatically lights up as he stands there. You catch up to him, panting, and hold out your hand saying, “Your coat.”
A moment passes and you are still there, while Xinlong hasn’t taken his coat and you look up and see him frantically look around and then ask, “Can we talk?” You are taken aback, but you nod anyway and he leads you towards a bit secluded area. Before you can react, he says, “I think I like you.”
Your breath catches in your throat and your tiny fireworks explode in your mind when he continues, “I know your friend wants you and Geonwoo together and I tried to respect that but I think I just went opposite of what I thought. Because whenever I’m bored my mind now automatically diverts to you and your little habits and it is okay if you don’t feel the same. I just wanted to say it.”
You are now fully stunned, standing like a loser while the man you want is pouring his heart out. Xinlong finally stops rambling as he looks at you and then you watch his face slowly morphing into something unreadable and you quickly reply, “No wait, I like you too.” Now it's his turn to stare at you in shock and you look down, his coat still in your hands and take a deep breath and continue, “I liked you since the day I met you, which is embarrassing, but it just happened and now I can’t help it anymore.”
“Oh, so that’s great,” he awkwardly replies and a laugh escapes your throat as Xinlong smiles too, a visible blush spreading across his cheek. A second passes and he slowly takes the coat from your hand, wrapping it around you again and you don’t refuse it even though you are wearing a sweater. He adjusts the front of his coat before contemplating something and even before he can ask you, just whisper, “Yes.”
That is all he needs as he pulls you by the lapels of his coat and presses a kiss on your lips. You shut your eyes, melting into the kiss as your fingers clutch on his shirt, pulling him a tiny bit closer. He smiles into the kiss and you feel yourself getting lost in the sweet and addictive taste on his lips that is just so him.
When you part, you can feel your whole face heating up while Xinlong slowly slides his fingers into yours and a small giggle escapes your lips. You look up and you see him refusing to meet your eyes, making you even shier as you try to hide your face at the curve of his neck. Xinlong’s arms wrap around your waist loosely and you just bask in his warmth when you suddenly remember that you have left your friend back in class.
“Shit, I left her in class”, you reply, but he holds your fingers firmly, saying, “I think someone is already there.” A mischievous glint passes his eyes and you finally realise what he means as you reply, “Should we go check it out?”
Xinlong tilts his head and nods as you two start walking back, hand in hand, the giddy feeling never leaving your bodies. And when you reach the classroom and see your friend backed into a corner by Geonwoo, you just smirk as she hides in embarrassment.
But you are damn thankful she decided to even try her crazy plan out, or else how would you have met Xinlong? And Xinlong doesn’t think any differently as you feel his arms tighten around your waist.
ARCHV ⠀✦ ⠀ "i only like geonwoo for ara"- famous last words by berry while my eyes were already on xinlong. also is the fic a little self indulgent? yes defo
❪ ইতি ❫ ─── ald1 shelf ⠀navi ⠀,⠀taglist . fill this / comment / ask
'hello you, who was thrown into that noisy world where deep inner self-care and the blissful stimulation of the soul is being demonized. there‘s no need to hold back anymore - in this haven, you are free.'
meet our angels
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angel 333
divine support, encouragement & guidance.
one‘s desire is the most personal and precious feeling to be owned, leading to possibly overthinking the urge for relief. i will treat your deepest wishes as tenderly as needed and talk you through our beautiful time.
call me.
angel 666
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every person deserves to embrace their own sensuality and erotic side in their very own way. let me help you define your needs or recall your wildest fantasies.
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the greatest gift is know where you want to be and to be one step away from your final destination. it would be my honor to be your company and grant your wishes for your own self-fulfillment.
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angel 999
release and new energy.
life is too short to lose yourself in the same never-ending cycle. together, we will breathe new spirits into your divine being, embarking into an eternal adventure for your senses.
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would you believe me if i told you, you already have everything you need? allow me to open up that treasure box, explore you and lay open all of your best sides.
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as important as embracing your desires, is the comfort you should find yourself in through all of it. follow me up to the clouds, relax into those soft pillows while i pamper you with heavenly pleasure.
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angel 111
new beginnings, individuality and intuition.
sometimes a reset is the best way to grant your senses a warm bath. there are endless amounts of starting lines, i will be waiting for you at, so that we can run towards a more unique finish line of an even more special you.
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to crave is not to be caged but to fly. come with me to get settled into our sanctuary, the exclusive place for your godly self, where your demands are an exemption and not the law to go by.
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8 ways to pass through the gateway to heaven - which one will you choose?
# a/n : haii hope you guys are well, listening to leo’s ep i was reminiscing on producer leo :p i miss it sm chat but anyways hope you guys enjoy and feel free too req! luv u x
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
! producer bf leo who sends you his unfinished demo tracks at the most randomest times of the night, asking for your opinion on the track as he values your thoughts on his music more than anyone else’s.
! producer bf leo who hides sounds of you in his tracks to show you how much he loves you - the jingle of your keychains hanging on your bag, the sound of your paces across the studio room and your soft giggles in his ear.
! producer bf leo who finishes a track he’s proud of, not directly saying it but instead he plays it for you and intently observes your reaction, when you shower him with adoration he chuckles murmuring, “yeah…that’s all you baby”
! producer bf leo who spends hours buried deep inside of his studio working on new music but will never forget to message you to remind you to eat or ask about your day, balancing the two things he loves, music and you.
! producer bf leo who loves when you visit him in the studio, he takes your feedback seriously. when he asks you to listen to the new track he’s working on, he pauses it mid track “did you really like that part or did you nod because it sucks?” “leo shut up and let me listen properly!”
! producer bf leo who sits you on his lap whilst he’s working, acting like too focused but absent mindlessly traces circles on your knee, nipping soft kisses on your neck as his jaw tenses in focus pulling you closer for comfort.
! producer bf leo who narrows his eyes, pursing his lips into his “serious producer face” whilst he’s deeply concentrating on his mix but immediately cracks his serious demeanour when he sees you tiling your head, half smiling at him calling at him to eat the pot ramen you’ve made.
! producer bf leo who after months, finally finishes his ep, turning to you in accomplishment to see you curled up on the couch behind knocked out completely. he softly smiles, before instinctively draping a blanket over you, tucking you in and laying next to you draping his arm around you, resting his head on your chest in pure solace.
pairing :: ald1 (junseo, arno, leo, geonwoo) x fem!reader
includes :: angst, fluff, comfort (?)
wc :: 3.2k (not really proofread)
pt.1 section two
JUNSEO stayed at all the edges of your mind and heart despite a week passing, after the day you walked away from him. You knew this would happen. But you weren’t the only one who was going to make efforts for a relationship that he didn’t really want.
Or that’s what you thought.
A knock on your door interrupts your trailing thoughts which appeared between sips of a coffee that had already run cold, heat passing to your palms and making them warm. A sigh leaves your lips at the force of getting up from your comfortable position.
Opening the door was dreadful enough and behind the door stood someone you didn’t expect to see at all. And the worse followed as he hugged you tight, almost smashing his body into yours desperately. His hold was firm, but longing effused from it. It was almost like he was holding onto you and was scared of letting you go, again.
This wasn’t what you were expecting at all. You pushed him away with your palm against his rigid upper body but he refused to let go.
“Junse-”
“Please. Can we please stay like this for a minute?” his voice was coarse, a lot like how it’d sound after crying endlessly. You could feel his neck pressed against you and you could also feel the gulp in his throat, possibly a lump filled with guilt. Minutes passed and you found yourself unconsciously melting into his warmth that you oh so dearly missed.
Getting yourself together at once, you pulled away from the hug, your throat thickening with mere passing seconds. Junseo looked like he would cry from even the slightest waver and something inside you twisted at such a sight.
Wiping down his face with his palms, followed by a sniffle, he speaks.
“y/n I am truly sorry.” you could hear his words getting stuck in his throat, guilt dripping from all of his being.
“I am sorry for taking you for granted and for dismissing all the efforts you put into saving our relationship that was at the brink of collapse. I am sorry for not recognising and acknowledging sooner. I am sorry for not cherishing you, y/n, like you deserve to be.”
Tears prickle out of his already swollen eyes. He brings his hands to hold yours between his palms, looking up at you.
Him getting hurt would kill you inside within seconds but seeing him broken like this, right in front of you, merely inches away from your entrance door, made you oscillate between forgiving him or choosing yourself, considering everything that had happened.
“I know I have been the worst boyfriend ever but,” he pauses to catch his breath, wailing silently. “But I really need you, y/n. I love you so much. I have only realised this after letting the worst down on both of us but I need you to trust me, which of course will be difficult. But I need you to trust me that I will be better from now on.”
His eyes meet yours. You could feel the pain, guilt and desperation exuding from his gaze. His broken heart reflected in his eyes and you knew him too well to understand that he was being genuine. And that was your breaking point.
A shaky breath left your lips, eyes stinging as tears threatened to spill out of your eyes. You step forward and wrap your arms around his shoulders, allowing yourself to give into him entirely. His face stays buried in your neck for a few minutes, his chest heaving against yours.
Your hands reach to pat his head with reassurance as you speak into his sweatshirt.
“I will come back to you junseo. I love you so much, too much. But you must promise me to never let such things happen.” He nods frantically. “You not giving me importance, despite me understanding your situations to the core and being very patient with you broke my heart once. I hope it doesn’t happen again.” He nods again, all while his tears wet the shoulder of your top, promising himself and you silently to never, ever let you go.
✴
JIAHAO spent days, weeks trying to contact you. Calling you over and over again, sending endless text messages. He even contacted your friends and yet there was no avail. His last straw was to show up at your front door and wait until you step out. And hence, he was at your door right now. He had no idea when you would step out, or if you would leave the house at all, but he was determined.
Your silence was making him go insane, and he didn’t even know the proper reason behind the distance that you’ve created. A part of him knew the reason, but he wished it wasn’t true because all you thought was false.
A click was heard and the huge teak door creaked open, revealing a slumped figure. Jiahao’s eyes opened wide in anticipation upon spotting you. You barely have time before registering his appearance at that moment, before he bombards you with all sorts of questions, slight spurts of frustration evident in his tone.
You let out a harsh sigh, crossing your arms against your chest. “Are you really asking me this question?” you say, your voice almost sounding venomous. Your gaze held borderline hatred.
“Oh my god.” he exclaims in disbelief. The reason had in fact turned out to be what he exactly suspected.
“You got it all wrong, y/n”, you scoff.
“What exactly do you take me for? I clearly heard the name rig–”
“It is not her!”, he almost yells out in frustration. The thought of you shutting him down because of a mere misunderstanding which could’ve been solved if you had just chosen to ask him instead of assuming, vexed him.
“It is not the same jiah. It is some other woman who I have no sort of relation to at all. I literally even looked for another place to move in with you. What the heck were you thinking acting up just based on your assumptions? You left me weeks without an explanation and there I was waiting and trying to reach you like a fool!”
His words started to settle in. Embarrassment washed over you first and the next wave that crashed was filled with guilt.
You open your mouth to say something, but your efforts go in vain.
He sighs exasperatedly, stepping forward towards you. His hand cradles your left cheek gently as his eyes meet yours.
“y/n–”
“I’m sorry.”, the apology that left your mouth was most sincere.
“I am so, so sorry hao. I assumed way too much and thought way too far.”, realization downed upon you as you collected words inside your head.
“It is completely my fault and I am okay with it, if you want to take time you don’t have to forgive me right away but I am extremely sorry for thinking way off the margin–” you ramble, voice trembling.
“Do you not trust me to that extent, yn?” he asked, eyes looking into yours hoping to find at least a hint of faith that you had in him.
You could hear your heart break into a million pieces, which felt quite ironic. You acting upon your insecurities resulted in consequences that made him, made the love of your life feel that he was not trustworthy enough. And it broke you. Tears started to gather at the brim of your eyes as you took gentle, unsteady breaths.
Him being in a rather close proximity to you didn’t help it. You could see the heartache in his eyes, caused by you.
“Hao, I am so so sorry that I made you feel that way.” you gently cup his face. “It was never my intention. In fact, it is all my fault. Jiah made me insecure, quite a lot of times. Even though I didn't know her, the stories you told me of her— not that you shouldn’t, or the things that your friends told me about her. Good memories or not, she was a huge part of your life and I was never sure if I could ever be the same to you.”
Hearing this made him feel bad. Words were beyond help at this point, so he gently brought you into an embrace which conveyed all his emotions as intensely as words could. You could feel his guilt, his relief, his apology all at once.
“I love you, yn, and nobody can ever take your place. And to assure you, no other person has ever made me feel like you do, and I would not trade that for anything else in this world.”
✴
LEO had asked you to meet up, after a few days of the breakup. To be honest with yourself, you haven’t even processed the split up properly. You were still in denial and heartbreak, but in silence. You kept everything to yourself and it almost felt like slow poison.
Even though you never expected he would come back for whatever reason, yet you were here, sitting across from him at a table, in a cafe on a Sunday afternoon.
The coffee that you both had already ordered long ago had gone cold, just deprived of a few sips. The awkward atmosphere made the slow poison in you work rather fast. You hated to sit there and feel the emotional dilemma by yourself when he was the one making decisions in haste.
Just as if he had read your thoughts, Leo cleared his throat as he began to speak.
“I'm sorry.” Of course he would say that, you thought to yourself.
You could see him struggling to gather his words, you could see the way his mind went haywire behind his eyes, and after what felt like a billion speedran seconds, he spoke up.
“I just do not know love, yn. I have never been in love until you. I don’t know how love feels or evolves, or how it feels to be with someone you love. Longer than you expected, that too.” Now the confusion started getting worse inside your head.
“Being with you… I was at my happiest. And overtime, it started feeling less new, less exciting. And I thought that it was over. I thought that I didn't feel the same towards you anymore. Days got normal, less thrilling and everything was going at a neutral pace.”
Honestly, you didn’t have even a slight clue of what the hell he was going on about. You just looked at him like looking at a thousand piece puzzle, and trying to piece it together. He continued to speak.
“But then, after I left. I started missing you and everything felt empty. All my days were filled with you. Texting you good morning as soon as I wake up, sending you a picture of what I had for breakfast, taking a break during lunch to fill you in on the events of my day — all of these. You were my life, yn. You became my routine. Just so rooted into my daily life that it has become so normal.”
Breath started coming back to you as you slowly understood what he meant. A swirl of emotions filled your chest and mind.
“I mistook that routine, that familiarity as falling out of love and I made a grave mistake of breaking up with you.”
As much as you hated coffee that had cooled down, you sipped your drink in hopes of washing down the lump that had started forming in your throat as he spoke.
“Yn can you… will you forgive me, please?” he looks up at you properly this time. His eyes held a hint of desperation and his face was weary from how exhausted he was.
“I realized that I cannot do life without you. I need you back with me, by my side. I will make sure to treat you the best I ever have and I promise to not act on my own. Take me back, yn.” his voice started getting tense as a response to your silence.
Watching him spill all his thoughts and watching him lay all his emotions out, right in front of you made you realise that he was not the same person that he was before. Leo previously would never have done this. And this gave you hope that things would change, and you would gladly take him back.
“I will.” you said as you let out a shaky breath. All the pent up emotions, the dilemma, the thoughts— everything disappeared for a while and all you wanted now, was to be in his arms. As if telepathically connected, Leo gets up from his chair, walks around yours and his arms engulf your shoulder from behind, a small kiss landing on the top of your head. ‘I love you’s pepper around your head as he stays that way for a minute or so, completely and utterly falling into your existence, all over again.
✴
GEONWOO kept hovering around whichever classroom you entered for your classes. He seated himself two tables away from you during lunch in the cafeteria. Wherever you go, he was always in sight and it bothered you more than it should.
He was the one who got annoyed by your behaviour, which he was previously well aware of, and at one point was smitten by it. He loved it when you acted clingy towards him.
Personally, you hated that frat of his. Guys from their group always fucked around and you believed geonwoo was different but it hurt you a lot to see that he was indeed, the same as them all. A tiny part of you still thought something was wrong, as it felt quite unusual that everything you both had ended so abruptly.
Just as you sat down in your seat for the next class, you overheard sangwon— your classmate who also happened to be Geonwoo's friend, speak to one of his other friends.
"I am literally tired of Geonwoo acting like he's fine. All he does is follow that girl, talk about her and what not."
"Literally. It's obvious that he misses her and I hope he just comes to terms with it." The other friend responded.
The rest of their conversation faded into the bustling noise of the classroom while you spiralled into your thoughts.
As soon as your class ended, you decided to find Geonwoo and speak to him. As much as you hated to confront him yourself first, you hated the unresolved situation even more.
And so you found yourself in one of the empty conference rooms, somehow managing to find and drag him with you. You shut the door behind you and turned around to look at him.
You spoke up, not giving him a chance to say anything first.
"What the fuck is going on with you?"
"What do you mean? Do you not understand when I said that I hate when you're cling-"
"Geonwoo I accidentally happened to overhear your friends talking about how you keep mentioning me." You state as a matter of fact, letting him know that there is barely anything to hide anymore.
"I know you miss me."
His eyes catch the floor and he does not respond. His fingers fidget with the hem of his shirt, his other hand gripping the strap of his bag a little tighter as every minute passes by.
you sigh harshly.
"I said those things to you on purpose, yn." He says, his voice sounding what felt like remorse.
"You are too good for me. yn, I am literally nothing. All I do is go to the frat house, drink and party. I am always doing things that are upto no good and you... you are capable, intelligent and such a good human in general. I don't know if I can ever meet your expectations. I am incapable and I can never be a good match for you."
Anger over everything else started building up inside you. You absolutely hated how he treated you like garbage, just by his assumptions and no communication at all. Your eyebrows furrowed as your face turned into an obvious facade that shielded all the annoyance in you.
"Do you know how immature that sounds? Geonwoo, did I ever ask you to be a certain way for me? Did I even ever mention my so-called expectations that you think I have from you?" you speak, anger now subsided into disappointment. Your voice threatens to break and it gets difficult for you to hold it in for longer.
"All I did was love you for who you are and I am very disappointed in you. that you took decisions by yourself without even sharing your thoughts with me. Talking things out Geonwoo...that's... that's basic, isn't it?" You sighed, running your fingers through your hair. Endless thoughts and questions clouded your head and you chose to ask the one that picked at you the most.
"Do you genuinely want me to leave?" Your voice betrays you as it comes out cracked. Your chest feels tight and your eyes start stinging, tears gently getting collected at the edges of your eyes.
He looks up at you at those words. You can see the clear glint of hurt in his chest resulting in a frown taking shape through his eyebrows. His eyes show pain like you've never seen before.
"No.." He replies, unsure if he even had the right to imply with his words that he wanted you back, after all he has done.
You soften at his response. After all, you loved him so very much and as the fact that he was seeing himself as an incompetent boyfriend settled down right in your head, your heart melted within seconds.
Wiping down the sweat of your palms onto your jeans, you step forwards and bring him into your embrace as delicately as handling a flower with the softest petals.
He needed reassurance and he didn't know how to ask for it. And so you held him for a few seconds before pulling away, holding his face between your palms.
"You are enough for me. I love you for you and I have never wished for better." You say with a small smile, all the adoration you had for him swelling up in your chest.
"You never have to think that you are good for nothing. I do not love you for outcomes, I want to be with you because you are kind to me, you love me genuinely. You care for me and I do the same. It's insane to think of loving someone based on their merits, Geonwoo."
You could see his eyes glistening, his nose dusting pink and he struggles to speak. He hugs you, his arms wrapping around your frame with little to no strength as his face fits into the curve of your neck.
"I love you, yn."
That's all you needed to hear from him, all the other emotions he wanted to convey getting to you instantly like you were inside his heart. Patting the back of his head gently, you hugged him back tighter, letting him know that you weren't going anywhere and you were with him to stay.
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