#alice memory

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Tried to design Alice (right) the other day. Still a WIP

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Thinking about my OCs and the complicated lore... Like god. Alice never died. She collapsed like a black hole but she never died. Mother Nature considers Alice and Memory to be the same person but also keeping fragments of Alice "alive" is just another way to control Centinel, knowing that Memory isn't Alice and will never live up to Centinel's idea of who Alice was. And if Alice was able to think about what happened I think she'd want Memory to be erased completely, to have never existed so that they couldn't be used against Centinel but! That's CRUEL. Memory is their own person. They don't deserve to die just so that they won't be used by their Mother. No wonder their feelings on who Alice was are complicated. No wonder Memory wants to cut off any reminder of Alice, because Memory isn't Alice and never will be Alice and it's frustrating, to know that someone they love (Centinel) is looking at them and seeing someone else and craves for them to go back to being that person. Because even though Memory carries a lot of parts of other people (as the God of Memory that's their duty) they are. not. Alice. They carry none of her. She's dead and gone but nobody will believe them when they say that she's dead because *they are Alice's body* after it collapsed.

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With my weather god OCs fitting them into a human AU is difficult and strange and turns them into people who are not at all the same as the gods they're based on. But the time gods? They fit into a human AU perfectly. It's easy. I could've made them humans in the first place and their dynamics would be only slightly less weird. Like yeah Centinel and Wayfinder won't be trapping each other in time loops and threatening each other with weapons (Wayfinder's scythe) casually anymore, but they can still be weird as fuck in other ways <3 Yay <3

The only problem is that their names are REALLY weird but ignoring that:

I'm thinking that Alice (who I only started talking about today, tldr she's the previous God of Memory before the current one) is Memory's mother who died and left them with Centinel (Alice's best friend) and Wayfinder is Centinel's ex

Xirui* and Xiaotan are siblings who move in either renting from Centinel or next door because I want them there. Admittedly in human AU they wouldn't have the "I am Centinel's underling and he presents himself as if we're family but it doesn't fit right" dynamic they do as gods but CLOSE ENOUGH. And Xiaotan becomes close to Memory, naturally (they're the youngest two in this horrible lopsided family situation)

*Xirui = Goddess of Future. Name may change in the future but I don't want to go back into the work of finding a new name right now

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Centinel -> Memory: Memory is a reminder of all the things he's lost. Being around them is impossible to bear, and yet he still loves them because they used to be Alice, his closest friend, before Alice lost their memories and transformed into the child that is Memory. Centinel puts all his expectations on them, hoping for them to be a good god under his watch, and sometimes hoping for them to become Alice again. The distance he's created with Memory is a way to protect himself, but he always makes sure they're not alone through sending other people to spend time with them.

Memory -> Centinel: They don't know why they care about him. They love him like a father, but he's never there for them. They're just a kid, constantly resetting, sometimes afraid of what's happening to them, but they don't know how to handle it except by pretending to be what Centinel wants them to be. Even if the memories have disappeared, the affection has not. Eventually, they will have to realize that he's never going to care for them as much as he cared for Alice, but they haven't figured it out yet. In a way, they can tell that Centinel hates them for not being Alice, but they ignore it. They won't let themself think about it.

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Wayfinder -> Centinel: Wayfinder hates him, to a degree. They're also so closely tied to him that they feel they'll never get away from him. Every time they hurt each other it just makes them feel more and more like they're the same type of person, even as Wayfinder tries to be better, kinder than him. They've accepted him as much as they can, and they refuse to destroy him despite the fact that he keeps trapping them with his time powers.

Centinel -> Wayfinder: Centinel just wants things to be the same. He'd trap Wayfinder forever if he could. They were the second person Centinel truly loved after Alice (not in a romantic way for Alice, but yes in a romantic way for Wayfinder) and losing them makes Centinel feel more and more like his family is vanishing, this makeshift thing he was clinging to, and then distanced himself from when he realized it wouldn't be what he wanted it to be. He's well aware that they're just talking past each other, unable to understand each other. He doesn't care. He'll wait for them forever, even if they were to kill him.

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Memory -> Wayfinder: Memory wants someone to acknowledge them. Wayfinder does that for them, treating them like a full person instead of... an amalgamation of memories. Memory doesn't even realize how important that is to them, and how much it hurts when Wayfinder can't help them. Every moment with Wayfinder is another reminder of what Memory isn't able to understand.

Wayfinder -> Memory: Wayfinder knows that Memory is a full person, and they didn't know Alice so they have no reason to compare them to Alice the way Centinel does. Even so, Memory has little control over their powers, and keeps absorbing Wayfinder's memories. They continuously take their memories from the time loops that Centinel put them into, and Wayfinder is very VERY aware of all the things they've lost, and all the things they have yet to lose. They think of Memory as passive; after all, Memory seems strange and able to be molded into what someone else wants, in Wayfinder's eyes. This is a bad thing, but they don't know what to do about it. It's not their responsibility. (...Is it?)