Many years ago I bought the book, "Solving the Interstitial Cystitis Puzzle." Each book has their take on this ungodly situation. This author supports following an alkalizing diet to "recover" from IC, as she did herself before writing the book.
At the time I was extremely ill, and in constant pain. I was almost entirely house-bound, desperate, lonely, and depressed. The one thing I had figured out for sure was that stress increased my symptoms. I skimmed the dense text of this book as best as I could and concluded that the magnitude of such a drastic diet change was more stressful than I could physically handle. In some ways I was too sick to get better, unless I had been fortunate for someone else to cook all of my meals for me and make the complicated decisions that I couldn't make for myself. That would be ideal - that every sick person had a healthy counterpart who could fill in for them in all of the ways they were unable to take care of themselves. But reality doesn't provide such a thing. For years I have wanted my husband to be that for me, and I know that he has in the ways that he could. But as I regain my health and some of my independence I am coming to understand that there are many things in life that no one can do for you. You have to make certain choices and take certain actions for yourself. It's part of being an adult. It's part of spiritual growth. It's necessary.
So, years ago, I vaguely tried to follow an alkalizing diet in that I printed lists of foods in columns, green on one side, red on the other. My kind friends attempted to follow these lists when making dinner for me when I could come for a visit. I found it all overwhelming and eventually it fell away entirely and I went back to eating whatever I wasn't sure made me horribly ill and just tried to get through the days.
What I understand now is that I didn't get it. I didn't really read the book. I didn't buy a juicer. I didn't understand the principle of, "vegetables, vegetables, vegetables!" as a friend of mine put it who has been following the diet for the last two years. Through a series of events, I decided I was finally ready to try again.
Unfortunately, as soon as I picked up the book and fingered through it, the stress from before overcame me and I threw a total fit. I cried. I screamed. I almost threw the book in the trash. I decided I couldn't do it, but then came around to decide I would try my best. The ideal diet calls for 80% alkalizing foods, and 20% acid forming, but I thought I would aim for 50/50. The fact is, I haven't been eating a lot of fresh vegetables, certainly not regularly, so my husband pointed out that any improvement was a really great accomplishment.
Part of me agreed with him. Part of me thought it was shit.
I want to be better. I want to eat whatever I need to eat to get better. I don't want eating healthy to feel neigh impossible. I don't want attempting to change my lifestyle and having difficulty doing so to make me feel like a horrible person.
Then I found inspiration in the oddest places. I texted with a friend who has IC and she said that her doctor told her that food doesn't change in the body, as in citrus which is acid on it's own is said to alkalize the body and he doesn't believe it's true. So she doesn't try an alkalizing diet. And she said not to stress out. And I know she meant well, but somehow what she said let me understand that it's time for me to stress out about this. It's time for me to work past my stress about it and make it happen. I'm healthy enough now to handle the difficulty. I know now that an increase in stress used to cause muscle spasms in my pelvis instantaneously, so avoiding stress was paramount. I also now know that through vaginal massage and relaxation techniques, I no longer suffer from those spasms and I don't have to let the fear of future pain stop me from healing now.
Then I texted with another friend who explained that she couldn't afford fresh fruits and vegetables, but instead was eating processed food including beef and boxed cookies. "What a bunch of bullshit!" I thought, but I remember being in her place. I remember eating what I wanted and justifying it with whatever reason seemed plausible. I see that she's making excuses, and I know that I have done that plenty of times before and I know that the time has come for me to grow up and take care of myself. I'm ready to take responsibility for my actions and accept the fact that what I eat DIRECTLY EFFECTS MY BLADDER, even when I've been too sick to see the obvious connections.
So I'm on Day 2 of my new diet and I'm doing the best that I can. I realized and wrote down the things that have prevented me from succeeding before so that I could work with my weaknesses instead of ridicule myself for them. They are as follows:
1.By the time I'm hungry, I'll eat anything. I totally break down. 2. I hate cooking when I don't have a plan or the necessary ingredients to create a functional meal. 3. I get really impatient with myself and I find changing my diet to be absolute torture. Anyone who says otherwise is insane, in my opinion, but maybe it's harder for me than other things are that I have already worked through.
So this is my plan to deal with those weaknesses:
Design a days diet ahead of time.
Buy ingredients to follow that diet for at least 4 days.
Start cooking BEFORE I'm hungry.
Cook every meal at home with limited exceptions.
Be patient.
Combine w/ daily exercise.
Remember you are doing this from a place of love.
Reference blogs for ideas and inspiration, add new recipes slowly when it doesn't feel overwhelming.
These are the ideas I came up with for a possible starting diet:
*Grapefruit w/ a little honey
*Fruit smoothy: fresh or frozen berries, almond or coconut milk, protein powder, cinnamon, flax seed meal
*Lunch: large salad w/ organic chicken, turkey, wild caught fish, tofu or tempe- lots of veggies w/ coconut, flax seed, grapeseed, or olive oil, lemon juice, brags & apple cider vinegar for dressing.
*Dinner: raw or cooked veggies w/ lentils or sweet potatoes, try to include ginger and/or turmeric.
*Snacks: fresh fruit, nuts & seeds, sprouted peas.
So far, I've started the day off with a smoothly. That's going great and my sweet daughter has helped me make them and had some herself! Parenting score! Yesterday I had some magical cucumber juice and today I tried the recipe in the book and made juice of chard, cucumber, celery, carrot, and an apple. It tasted much better than I expected. For lunch, I've had a salad with some protein. For dinner yesterday I made scrambled eggs and sauteed some chard. My husband made guacamole, and I ate some with my eggs but avoided the corn chips. Oh, but I did eat it with a white tortilla with butter. And we ended up eating a really late second dinner in which I ate a sausage on a whole wheat bun with bell peppers and enjoyed every moment of it.
That's the journey I'm on, or the beginning of another chapter anyway. I'm sure it will get easier and harder. But I know I can never go back. The healthier I get, the healthier I get. Period. The knowledge I've acquired and empowerment I am finding will be gifts that keep on giving for the rest of my life. So when I have bad moments, I cry and scream, but at some point I'll say, "Fuck It!" and keep moving forward, because I'm sick of excuses and I'm sure as shit sick of being ill.