I want to talk about platonormativity from an alloplatonic/alloplspec perspective. I know I mass deleted all of my aplspec posts on platonormativity after my realization that the aplatonic identity was holding me (me personally! not an attack on apls!) back. But I guess I’m quietly approaching some apl concepts from the other side.
So, I was chatting with my family while we played a board game. I made some sort of joke about not being very popular. It was meant to be lighthearted, taken in jest. My grandma replied with, “Well, as long as you have some friends.” My mom added, “Or family.” I felt like I got drop-kicked. It’s not hard to see how I mistook these emotions for plato repulsion back when I identified as apl. And I still identify as afamilial.
One of the biggest complaints I got while talking about platonormativity as a then-apl was the idea that deconstructing friendship being necessary was offensive to those who were allopls. But I feel even more strongly that the opposite is true. Hearing about how I needed friends didn’t make me feel better. It made me wonder if I’m broken, or cursed. If friendship is necessary, then why don’t I have it?
I never said this. But immediately after shutting down the aplatonic parts of this blog and turning it into a blog for my interests and reblogging random stuff, I got an ask praising me for “leaving behind all that MOGAI nonsense” and realizing that I was just traumatized, for realizing that friendship is necessary after all. I quietly blocked them, deleted the ask, and never spoke of it. But I’m addressing it now.
Aplspec or alloplspec, I will never stop fighting against friendship being necessary. Platonormativity hurts us all.
