This is the third autumn in seven years that's just blurring by because I'm too sick to really care about it much. Last year's was also a blur because I had crippling ppd. It's fine, it's all for a good reason, but it feels like something [yet another something] that has always been intrinsic to me being stripped away and sometimes it's just sad to think about. Plus the last seven autumns haven't felt very autumnal in and of themselves due to the keynotes of the season here being "dazzlingly sunny" and "lows in the 30s and highs in the upper 70s." It's silly to base one's personality in an ephemeral idea of a season but it's also weird to have done so and then have the idea eroded by years of being Not Like That.












