hi mod!!! hope ur having a great day/night!!
i really hope this isn't against ur rules or anything (PLEASE feel free to ignore this ask if it is, or if u just feel lazy enough to!! i completely understand) 😅
i've written my first ever Jack twoshot (first chapter posted on ao3) and thought maybe i could get a fellow Jack-enthusiast to read it and give some feedback??? again, no pressure!! it's a long one, and it def is weird to have a stranger ask u to read their stuff (i feel so cringe asking this but i'm def too embarassed to ask my friend 😭)
if u do, however, want to read it, it's called "family night? no way!" by spells_and_hexes
again again, pls ignore this ask if u feel unwilling!! have a good day/night 😋 <3
[OOC -- 🐾🤍]
It okay twin.. I will deliver for u...
So I read all the first AO3 chapter (plus I just got my account so I hit two birds with one stone.) And while I haven't read much ao3, I LOVED IT SO MUCH]!! I love this so much it's so super cute I LOVE IT.
I wanna give more concrete uhm. opinions so here they are (I am not an amazing writer, don't take what I say too srsly. I'm MOSTLY examining Jack..heh.and..his stuff here.)
-> We still get to see Jack getting bullied lol..
This might sound mean, but I love that we still get to see Jack getting bullied in even after everything in the main story. I feel like ppl genuinely forget that not because one overblot happened and Jack kinda helped to fix it, it means that all the bullying he suffered from his dorm mates previously would completely disappear right after. Good addition!!! love it!
-> Jack's siblings (Tyler and Ava)
Tyler and Ava are absolutely adorable, they're so cute!!!! I rlly like that they use honorifics for Jack [ Aniki/big bro And Nii-san/Older Brother] , they feel rlly alive like they're actually kids and how everything seems too big for them.
I really love that one part in which Ava is gushing over how big everything is and Jack goes "Maybe she sees it that way because of how tiny she is." IT FELT SO ADORABLE.
-> Jack's parents
I had never come across THIS interpretation of Jack's parents.. and I rlly like it! I dont wanna spoil much because it's REALLY good and angsty but also so cute and well written..
BUT OHHH MY GOD the interpretation of Jack's parents makes my blood BOILLLL (good! this is what we want to achieve after all!)
This is super amazing and I love it!1 I feel like Jack's honorifics (like "Leona-senpai / Ruggie-senpai" ) R missing.. but it compensates by calling Leona "sir" heh...
--
With this in mind, I already have it bookmarked! EVERYONE GO READ THIS NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Family night ? No way! by spells_and_hexes on AO3 !!!










