Synopsis: Meeting new people is one thing, meeting new coworkers is another. Cecil has tasked you with "making nice" with the members of the Guardians of the Globe. One member in particular has already decided he hates you.
Masterlist of all Chapters
Note: This is day one, so a few months before the first chapter. Less tension this chapter, and much more exposition that will hopefully aid the oncoming angst. I worked really hard to properly characterize every character! Hope you enjoy!
What an asshole. Your first day on an actual team and you were already regretting it.
“Ignore him, I want you to go and familiarize yourself with the other members. Keep your earpiece on. Once you’re done here, you're to continue training.” Cecil’s gaze swept over the Guardian’s headquarters. With a nod to you, he turned and walked away. Surprisingly, he actually walked and didn’t just teleport. The GDA must be trying to save money.
From what Cecil had been telling you, the Guardians of the Globe are an embarrassing mess right now. The Immortal has recently taken over the leadership position from Robot who can’t seem to get his head in the game. No one can get along for longer than five seconds. And half of the time they can’t seem to even win a fight without aid from external sources.
In preparation for this very moment, you had spent ample amounts of time pouring over their individual files. When you weren’t training, you were reading. Some of the files were so long you could spend hours reading and not seem to remember what exactly you should have taken away from them. Out of all the recognizable faces, your eyes stopped on someone who you had not gotten the file of. He was clothed in an orange and blue suit, and was currently just sort of…poking something over in the corner.
You scanned the large area one last time, taking note of where everyone was, mentally ordering them all in your head. You would definitely save the one you knew to be Rex Splode for last. After his piercing glare and a very annoyed ‘Fuck, another one? Sure, why not just add her to the team, apparently it is a free-for-all around here anyways!’ He had turned away throwing his hands in the air, ‘Christ, four newbies in a row’. Along with some other unsavory grumblings.
With a subtle curl of the lip at the memory of the very fresh experience, you walked over to the first member you had picked to introduce yourself to. As you got closer, the distinct sound of muttering met your ears.
“Hello—” He was poking a coffee machine it seems, and by simply announcing yourself you had apparently activated his fight or flight. Or that’s what you figured must have happened, because he just chucked it at you. …Or rather, tried to chuck it at you. But the machine was plugged in… and remained plugged into the wall even after the halfhearted toss. So it just kind of slid off the counter and hung there. The glass pot shattered on the ground and water washed over the front from the water reservoir. If you were not determined to make the best impression anyone has ever seen, you would have just let out a sigh so long your lungs would have completely depleted.
“Oh, I’m sorry I did not mean to startle you!” You said apologetically, scanning the area for a broom or something to help clean up. Your extreme unfamiliarity with your surroundings here proved to aid you in no way, so you just decided to ignore it.
“Oh, no harm done fellow human!” Oh boy, so he’s one of those. “Rest assured it is meant to do that!”
You stood in silence, looking down at the glass and water ridden mess between the two of you. “Indeed.”
Hopefully not too many eyes were on you after the commotion, but as far as you could tell there were none. Too busy with what they were all individually doing, a few of them had left the common space, probably to go to different rooms for training. Cecil told you they were staggering training schedules so that they could all ‘become the best they could be’ and then rather melodramatically he continued ‘If not, we could all be fucked’.
Theatrical as always, but you knew after the months you’d spent training with Cecil there was no reason to inquire about his cryptic statements. If he wanted you to know, he would tell you. If he didn’t want you to know, you weren’t finding out.
“Well, I just thought I would introduce myself. I haven’t heard anything about you. What are you, some kind of secret?” It was meant to be a light joke to ease tensions. But the man froze and for a second you considered just walking away. There must be something wrong with him, that, or you were worse at small talk than you thought.
“Secret?!” He laughed obnoxiously loud, and you found yourself snapping your neck to look around once again for judgmental looks. “You will find no secrets here! I am just as human as everyone here! And having secrets from human teammates is bad for morale!”
“Okay…” You needed to derail from whatever this was fast before he drew the attention of everyone else in earshot. “I’m Killdeer by the way, or that’s my alias or whatever,” You told him your actual name as well, holding out your hand for him to shake. It was like you could hear the gears grinding inside his head. After several more moments he awkwardly did a crouching sort of movement and high-fived your outstretched hand.
Right around now is when you start to wish you had someone, anyone you could talk to about this exact moment. Your eyes trailed up from your hand to his face which held maybe the largest, cheesiest grin you have ever seen. You bit the inside of your lip trying to stop a violent snort from escaping the confines of your throat. What the fuck?
“I am Shapesmith!” He put his knuckles to his hips and puffed out his chest in a very generic hero pose. “I was born a baby human right here on the planet of Earth! I got my superpowers from a random…industrial accident—”
“What happened to the coffeepot?” A very unenthused voice spoke from a few paces behind you. This face you knew from the files. Bulletproof, who’s also very new to the Guardians of the Globe. Within the past few days even.
You gave the newcomer to the conversation a shrug while glancing at Shapesmith out of the corner of your eye. Who was, at this point unsurprisingly, still smiling larger than life and holding his pointer finger towards the sky.
“Great.” Bulletproof sighed and started to walk away.
“I have to go, but it was good meeting you, Shapesmith! Oh— and I’m looking forward to working with you!” You winced at your business email sounding goodbye, but it didn’t seem to bother him any. He just returned to stare at the glass and water conversation piece on the floor.
With a few quick strides you were caught up again with Bulletproof, who slowed to a stop when he realized you were following him.
“I wanted to introduce myself, but first—” you glanced back at Shapesmith “What exactly is going on…there?”
Bulletproof shrugged with a glance back at Shapesmith. “I honestly have no idea. Dude was found impersonating Rex—” Ugh. A subtle reminder that eventually, you had to formally introduce yourself to him. Your attention returned as quickly as it left. “I don’t think anyone knows exactly what or who he is. But Cecil probably likes the opportunity of keeping an eye on him.” He looked back at you again. “I can’t imagine he’s much danger to us; he’s kind of…”
“Eccentric?” You interjected.
“I was going to say idiotic, but sure.” The topic of your conversation was now trying to pick up the glass shards with his bare hands. Idiotic felt a little too mean in your opinion. He seemed nice enough.
“Well, anyways,” you held your hand out again and gave your name “you’re Bulletproof, right?” After a nod, he took your hand and actually shook it rather than whatever it was Shapesmith did. Thank god.
“Pleasure.” It’s all very formal. And, as the introductory chit-chat goes on your mind wanders a little.
Shapesmith, Bulletproof, Monster Girl, Robot, Duplikate, Immortal, Black Sampson, Shrinking Rae, Rex Splode. Shapesmith, Bulletproof—
Where did Rex Splode get off? He didn’t even know you or anything about you. You weren’t sure why this was bothering you so much. Sometimes people just suck, this was nothing new to you. An immature part of your brain imagined exploding him with your mind. Which is a little drastic for the fact he really hadn’t committed that high of an offense. You were just nervous to be around other superheroes and he immediately took your ego and, well… exploded it. Also, you couldn’t explode him with your mind if you wanted to, but maybe he would accidentally self-combust later. A small smile inched across your lips at the thought of it.
Okay now this is just mean. And unproductive.
You look up and nod at what Bulletproof is saying, having no idea what he was just talking about the last few minutes. If it was important, you would have to find out later. After a formal and quick goodbye, you headed over to another corner where Immortal, Duplikate, Black Sampson and Shrinking Rae were standing and talking. Again, a quick introduction, and polite conversation. No one seemed to take much interest in you, which you figured might be the case when you had to start making your rounds around the headquarters.
Cecil said that he told Immortal about you in passing, but while talking to him you realized he knew quite literally nothing about you. Not to his disappointment though, you doubted he would remember your name without being reminded a few more times. On first impressions only, he seemed to have a bit of a superiority complex. Which, maybe you would too if you were alive that long. But still, you didn’t much care for him off the bat. Shrinking Rae, who assured you that you could call her ‘just Rae’ seemed very down to earth out of the four of them. After filling that information away in your brain for later, you headed out of the main area in search of the last three members.
While you were at it, you tried to familiarize yourself with the different passageways. One room led to a gym, another to a kitchen, and…another kitchen? Or were you turned around? Well now you know where the broom is. You made a short plan to bring it with you on the way back to the common area for Shapesmith.
Finally, you found yourself in a circular, expansive room. Robot sat in the middle, a large hologram of what you imagined must have been a brain above his head. At least, it’s vaguely shaped like one, more geometrically. Common sense leads you to believe it is probably his.
Is he still called Robot if he’s not in the suit? Crap, you had read his name in the files, but gun to your head, you couldn’t remember what it was.
In a chair nearby sat Monster Girl. They seemed to have been talking about something before you walked in, but upon noticing your presence, both turned their attention completely towards you.
There’s a certain uncanny feeling to being stared at by two people with the appearance of what is essentially children. Like walking by a middle school and hearing the most creative insults you have ever heard, which will also subsequently keep you up for several days going forward. Luckily, these two were not actually children or you would be feeling much more apprehensive being viewed under such scrutiny.
“Hello—” How many more times are you going to have to introduce yourself? You would much rather be training with Cecil than working your way through small talk with these people who think you are unnecessary at the very core of your being.
“Killdeer?” Monster Girl, who assured you that you can call her Amanda and Robot, Rudy, asked quizzically.
“A type of bird, correct?” Rudy inquired in a dry tone.Whether his inflection was dry because that’s just how he naturally was, or because he was extremely unimpressed with you, you couldn’t know for sure. Hopefully the former.
“Yes. The bird.” You chirped with a tight smile.
“They are known for pretending to be injured to draw away predators.” Rudy informs Amanda. “So, they are notable for being unassuming. Is that what you are?”
Wow, straight to the important questions. “Notable? Well, I hope so—” You tried to joke.
“Unassuming.” He spoke again in that dry, robotic tone. Oh, Robot, robotic, that makes sense.
“Birds don’t have superpowers.” Interjected a voice from behind you, one you recognized the fastest out of all the Guardians because of his memorable first appearance. You didn’t bother looking back.
“Your point being, Rex?” Amanda said with a level of exhaustion that mirrored yours. Although she was probably much more licensed to her exhaustion having known him for longer than a morning.
Sure enough, Rex stepped up next to you, his arms crossed, a firm crease in his brow. “My point is just that it’s a stupid name.”
“Seriously? What do you want, man?” Amanda mirrored him, crossing her own arms. The two glared each other down while Rudy simply cycled through looking at the people before him.
Rex must have decided to ignore her, because he turned his attention directly to you. Well at least you didn’t have to do another introduction.
At this very moment, looking between him and Rudy, you started to wonder if they were somehow related. You read in Robot’s file that he only recently started fronting as a physical person, but there was not much else provided about it for you. Something to look into later.
“What do you even fuckin’ do anyways?” Rex tilted his head at you, squinting slightly. A clear suspicious air to his every move and any expression that pulled at his lips.
“I, uh, heal.” Nice. Really nice start.
“Oh, you ‘uh heal’. I am so glad we got that covered!” Rex said with a big sarcastic smile. “If I’d known that, then this all would have just been fine and dandy!” The faux grin disappears, and he looks to both Rudy and Amanda for backup. “I mean come on! Don’t you guys see how ridiculous this is? I feel like I’m going crazy! What is Cecil thinking?”
You raise an eyebrow at him but don’t interrupt. If you are lucky, maybe he’ll just wear himself out and go away. Your original aspiration to try and maintain good standings with everyone on the team faded more with every syllable he uttered.
“We already have all kinds of high-tech what’s-its here that we can get treated with after battles. I should know, I have had to be put together plenty of times after fights. We don’t need Nurse Joy over here, muddling it all up.” He turns back to you, extremely pointed with the next thing he says, an index finger jammed in your direction. “You are pointless.”
“If you have indeed ‘had to be put together plenty of times after fights’ then—” you made air quotes around his words,“I think that speaks for why Cecil thought I was necessary. My powers also run based on my own biological components. So less resources for the GDA to provide.” You looked at Rudy and Amanda while saying this, then turn to Rex for the next part. “Less Band-Aids for your boo-boos. Or I suppose less expensive bioengineered replacement parts.” You shrugged. “I cannot make you regrow a limb, but I’m able to speed up your body’s natural healing process so that you guys are down for shorter amounts of time.”
“You hear that, Rex? No regrowing limbs, I am guessing that means she can’t change your micro either.” Amanda laughed; Rex didn’t look amused.
“Oh great. I’ll make sure to give you a call when I get a fucking papercut.” Rex rolls his eyes, his arms coming unfolded. “I feel like there is something that could be said about taxpayer dollars and you wasting them by being on the team, somehow, am I right?” He looked to Rudy for support.
“You pay taxes?” The joke slips out before you have enough time to think about how childish it is to sink to his level. He obviously has no intention of listening. Luckily no one responds to your words.
“Technically Rex, if Killdeer can do the things she is stating, it would save on taxpayer money because of fewer hospital visits, and in theory less damage to public property. If we are all field-ready quicker after fights, then we can be much more effective. In turn, less damage all around.” Rudy states, his hand resting against his chin. He had practically just repeated and reworded what you just said, but if that’s what it took to get to Rex, then whatever.
Rex grumbles a bit but seems to not have an argument against Rudy’s point. “Well, I don’t like it.”
An awkward silence fell over your small group. Rex doesn’t seem like he had any intentions of walking away. You’re regretting every decision that ever led you to this point.
But, like a true savior, you hear Cecil’s rasp over your earpiece.
“Okay, meet and greet is over, head back.”
Short and simple, but in that brief sentence you were freed from this conversation. If you could really call it that.
“Well, it was nice to meet you Rudy and Amanda—” You gave them a polite smile, then glanced at the third participant “Rex.” You offered him the smile as well, to which his lip curled downwards slightly. He did not say anything in response, but he did not look away either.
And just like that you turned around and headed back, having a bit more of a concept of how to get around without getting confused. You grabbed the broom while on your way to the common area, only to see that there was no longer any sign of a mess. In fact, there’s a whole new machine replacing where the old one was, from the looks of it. That was fast. You would never get used to the number of invisible agents that Cecil keeps around, sometimes you could swear you felt them around you.
“I want you to practice on this”
“It’s called a ReAniman.” Donald interjected between you and Cecil.
“Does that thing even have…blood?” You looked at it with clear repulsion on your face. It looked like a corpse. Come to find out later, that was exactly what it was. It looked evil, with defined teeth and a large red eye in the center of a golden headpiece. The red was not illuminated so you desperately hoped that meant that it was powered off.
“Usually not really,” Cecil admitted with a shrug, “but this was specially engineered for you.” He walked up to it, cocking his head in its direction. “And its disconnected from any power source, so don’t worry about it waking up.”
Waking up…? Like it was alive? You felt a tad more uneasy at that. Cecil had employed you several months ago, but what you had mostly been working with had been blood bags. Causing ripples, that sort of thing. This was a whole body.
“Okay.” You finally said, which in turn led to Donald and Cecil gearing to leave you alone in the room with it. “Wait—”
“Why do you want the Guardian’s to think I am just a healer?” You asked, the question had been ripping you up all day.
Cecil paused and gave a glance to Donald who nodded back and left the room. “You are a healer, kid.” Cecil replies simply.
“But I’m not just a healer.” You squinted at him.
He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “After everything that’s happened, with Nolan— Omniman, and how unstable everything has been, I think it would be fruitful to not have it publicized for the time being.”
“Even to the Guardians of the Globe? Didn’t you approve of each member yourself?”
“I approved of Nolan too.”
You nodded, turning your focus to the ReAniman. The sound of the door alerted you that Cecil had left. Leaving you alone with that thing.
Closing your eyes, you take a slow breath, trying to clear your mind.
Shapesmith, Bulletproof, Monster Girl, Robot, Duplikate, Immortal, Black Samson, Shrinking Rae, Rex Splode. Shapesmith, Bulletproof, Monster Girl—
God, what was Rex’s deal?
You opened your eyes and tried to feel the blood within the subject in front of you. It’s easy, like a blood bag. You thought to yourself, which did not make it easier.
All you wanted was to make a good impression today and all together you were pretty satisfied with the general outcome. Why was it bothering you so much that one single member didn’t like you and told you to your face? Get over it.
You could feel a slight twinge starting at the base of your brainstem. A side effect of overusing your powers in this way. It was very mild right now, but if you overexert yourself too much, your brain would begin to deteriorate. You were able to do much more now because of Cecil’s help and some intense training. But you’d woken up in the GDA hospital several times now. Luckily it didn’t usually even take a full afternoon for you to be back on your feet due to your own accelerated healing. That didn’t change the fact that it hurt like a bitch to feel your brain matter dripping out of every orifice of your head though.
The thought process causes you to remember Rex mentioning earlier his frequent visits to the GDA hospital himself. You almost wondered how often you were probably both there at the same time.
Finally, you felt it click, you had a mental hold on the blood inside this over-armored corpse. Unease filled you as you watched its arm move up and down. This was the first time you’d willingly manipulated blood within a body. The sight was unnatural and unsettling to look at. It made quick jagged movements, jolting every time you wanted to test moving it a different way, like there was an invisible string pulling it, and you were the puppet master.
“Very good.” You would never get used to how quickly Cecil learned things even if you knew about the cameras and invisible agents. Cecil walked up next to you and watched quietly for a moment as you focused on making the ReAniman sit up.
With severe effort and a piercing pain filling your mind, it sat up. Cecil seemed satisfied.
“I want you to see if you can do anything with this once you’ve taken a break. And do take a break, it’s inconvenient to constantly clean your blood off the floors.” Fair enough. You take your focus off the ReAniman, and it lands with a clamor back in a resting position. Cecil steps forward and places a blood bag near the creature's head on the gurney.
“I thought I was done with blood bags.”
“I just want to cover all of our bases.” He responds briskly, already nearly out the door by the time he responds, and completely out of it by the time you register his words.
You stepped forward, taking the blood bag in your hands. Just by holding it you could feel the lack of neural connection you had with it. Was it synthetic blood? You were only able to connect with biological matter. What was Cecil doing?
You flipped the bag over, it has a label. Usually, the names on the blood bags that you worked with belonged to strangers. No one recognizable. A GDA employee, or just some donator who probably thought this was going to be used for much more good than this. This one was different though. It read:
Now that was a file you had read top to bottom.
This was Viltrumite blood.
Author's Note: Yes the Nurse Joy nickname is because of Pokémon. I hate the use of Y/N so I am determined to completely avoid it with either the use of her superhero name or nicknames courtesy of Rex.
Also I love Shapesmith so much he's so silly.
Divider credit: @/ saradika
