#amberstart

[agentshadxw-blog]

“I failed at raising a tamagotchi. How the fu--frick frack patty whack am I supposed to raise a child?”

[kalifck-blog]

“You know, if it weren’t for the fact that I get to wear such cute clothes on undercover missions, I might be offended that they always pick me to be the girl from whatever imaginary escort company they’re setting the target up through,” Kali said, her fingers fluffing up her hair as she turned in place, checking the outfit she’d just received from the higher ups for her mission. “Do you think they’ll let me keep this?”

[aresholland-blog]

‘ alright, so you might think everyone here is a super cool spy and shit, but come on, do you hear what comes outta the suites late at night ? what’s the deal with the backstreet boys phenomenon up in here ? and all them ‘ big scary ’ leaders, am i the only one that hears spice girls on loop whenever they’re goin’ down the hall ? kurt cobain, anyone ? kurt cobain. just sayin’. though, nineteen was the worst year of my life, gotta put that out there. nineteen, man. and i lived on the street. ’

[gwcndolvn-blog]

“ okay -- listen, i’m gonna admit something embarrassing and you have to promise not to laugh. actually, first i’m gonna ask you a question. have you ever peed yourself during a mission? because, like, it happened to me. early on. like, i didn’t think we’d be gone for so long, and there i was standing there as a lookout trying to think of dry things -- the desert, justin timberlake’s ramen hair, you know, typical dry things -- and suddenly it was just like a flood down there. i was pissin’ like a two year old. anyway, the spy suits are super absorbent. just a light stain. so if you ever gotta pee on a mission... go wild.” 

[minvpls-blog]

“ you absolutely, positively are not allowed to laugh at me, but ... do you have any super glue ? maybe a hot glue gun ? i just ... shit, i dropped one of the antique tea cups at work and i’m going to die if i don’t fix it, ” mina whined, holding the four shattered pieces of the aforementioned teacup in her hand. she’d already managed to nick her fingers a few times trying to pick it all up, so her mood was decidedly sour.

[tucktbh-blog]

“the countdown to twenty-three has officially begun. soaking in the last few days of being liked, because according to blink-182 i’m doomed for the next year. anybody up for a t-swift karaoke celebration some time before next friday?”

[jacknickels]

text ✉️ open

jack: no but seriously like why the fuck does everyone say shut up

jack: why not shut down

jack: shut down ... ur mouth. u sack of moldy peaches

[effcrtles-blog]

“ i’m not being bitchy. i’m not a bitch. i don’t get angry. i only get angry when there’s a reason for be to be angry and that doesn’t make me a bitch, does it? that makes me human. very fucking human. i’m sweaty. my throat is dry, and i’m getting a heartburn. if i were to swallow cookie dough right now, it’d bake going down my asparagus. i feel disappointed, honestly. did you wake up today thinking 'oh yeah, today? today i'm going to drag sloane on a path to hell.' and i thought you were decent enough not to make innocent people suffer. do you have sadistic tendencies? do you derive pleasure from cruelty? my shoes are sinking into the pavement. do you know what that means? that means, stay the fuck inside. if i wanted to do cardio today, i could’ve paid to go to the gym. at least, they have air conditioning. ”