Oasis Nadrama, 27/01/2026
We shouldn't focus too much on labels. Words such as "lesbian", "gay", "bisexual", "transgender", "queer", "intersex", "asexual" etc are meant to help ourselves to explore and understand ourselves better, not to imprison us. They are personal and political tools, not categories to live by like some code of honour. All vocabulary is imperfect in the end, no terminology can properly convey and cover the entirety of the human experience.
When these words suit you, when you find strength, freedom and confidence in them, use them, hammer them, throw them in the face of the dominant patriarchal culture even.
When you don't care about these words, if they just make you run around in circles, discard them.
A lot of queer people refuse to precisely define their gender and sexuality; they just want to indicate they are not part of the alloromantic/allosexual dyadic cisgender heterosexual norm, that they diverge in some way (or in multiple ways), and otherwise they follow what interests them in life.
A lot of us just use the word "queer" without specifying beyond that.
Use whatever pronouns you want. Dress, put on makeup, accessorize however you want. Express yourself in any way you want. And if you wish so, date/sleep with people you feel great around, people you have fun times with, people you trust, people you're interested with dating/sleeping with (not always the same thing as attraction). The fact they are women, men or nonbinary people doesn't matter in the end.
What you will care about in decades won't be whatever dress, pants, skirt, shorts you were wearing this week, or the gender(s) of your romantic and/or sexual partner(s), what you will care about, what you will remember, is all of the relaxed, happy, serene, excited, tender, erotic, extatic, touching, formidable moments.
Life can be full of joy if you just go with the flow, if you listen to your desires, attractions and sympathies first and firemost.