Imagine you're dating a fallen angel. And she only recently fell. And she has a cute petite body like a doll, and big brown eyes that you love to look into, and shiney black hair that feels good to pet, and beautiful blue wings with golden eyes on them. And she just fell, so she's still kind of upset, and is still kind of afraid of what the world will think of someone like her.
Angels aren't built to be loved, they're built to serve a purpose. She was told all her life, that her desires, her wants, aren't what mattered. She was told she was selfish for wanting things, that her entire value came from what she could give for other people. Angels aren't built to need protection, to want affection, or to be anyone's favorite, or something special to anyone. But now that part of her life is over, now she's on earth, and she doesn't have a job to do, and there are people who love her.
So you try to make sure she knows that she is special to you. That you love her not for the work that she does but for the person that she is. She can't really have a job because she's in danger of overworking herself, you don't even want her doing chores in your apartment because you know how easily she can hurt herself in the name of doing the best job possible. You have to reassure her that you are there for her, and that she is doing enough, and that she deserves to rest. She's been through so much, she needs to spend time just laying down on your bed, being comfy and having things brought to her. And you and your freinds need to spend a lot of time cuddling her, and petting her pretty wings, because she needs to know that she's loved, because she was created to be unloved. She spent so much time only being allowed to do things that served a greater purpose, and only being given the things she needed to fulfill task, you need to make sure she understands that she deserves to have things because she wants them, and to do things because she wants to, because she's special and there are people who want her to be happy now.
Before she fell she was told all sorts of things about fallen angels that she was made to believe. She was told they were fundamentally scary and dangerous. She was told about how they would inevitably hurt humans, and how they tried to manipulate people into loving them. And she was told about how they need help, and how they all secretly or unsecretly want to stop being fallen. And now all those horrible ideas are things she thinks about whenever she wants love or she feels happiness. All of that fear and hatred she had for fallen angels before she fell is now something she feels about herself. She's afraid she'll hurt people because she was told that things like her hurt people, and she was told she'll never truly cam feel happy again living the way she does, and she's so very worried it's true. So she needs you to remind her that she's a good person, and that she's able to live a good and enjoyable life here. And even when it's separate from the angelic society she grew up in, she still feels guilty so easily, like when demons, or fae, or other entities talk about how oppressive angels are it's easy for her to feel guilty. And it's important to tell her that she's a good person, and that it's not her fault.
She was raised to be such a specific thing, this stoic powerful thing, that does its work, and doesn't get upset, and she was raised to feel humiliated at the idea of being anything else. So seeing herself all vulnerable on your bed, wearing pretty little dresses, and not helping anyone but herself, is so antithetical to what she was told was what she wanted to be. She wasn't even meant to be a she, there aren't female angels, but now that she's free, she's likes being a girl. And sometimes she feels like she can't be enough of a girl for you, with so much trauma, and needing so much care, and her blank sexless body, and you need to make sure she knows how great it is to love her, and how happy you are to have someone like her in your life.
She's learning to be free, and to enjoy life. She was never anyone's daughter, never a little girl, never really innocent. So you need to make up for lost time with her. You take her to different neighborhoods, because she loves exploring the city with you. And you take her on trips to meusums and to the aquarium. And you got her a doll, because she never got to be a child with one, and even though she's not something innocent, even though she's something so very adult with so many adult taboos and fears in her life, she can still enjoy that doll as if she was small. She's getting to experiment with clothing and makeup for the first time, and getting to see how she actually wants to look. And she's even starting to draw and paint, and getting to read books and watch movies that she once wasn't allowed to. And you're getting to see her become someone she enjoys being, and it's so lovely getting to see someone like her finally enjoy that.
