#anima writes

[animaxvi]

got both an animatic & manga comic idea spinning in my brain rn 👁️👄👁️

I am being ✨ productive ✨ & actually writing/planning them out skdkdk

[audacityinblack]

Fine Tuning

Should I censor my senses Just for the sake of others’ comfort? Should I except my own perception Just to keep them happy?

I think I shall not. It does not disturb me to hear the minute shifts of the wind and the space between breaths. It does not confound me to feel the sands of time on my skin as it passes. Nor does it frustrate me to touch the edges of awareness.

Should I stay quiet So they won’t get annoyed? Should I stay inside the lines So they won’t frown on me?

I think I shall not. I’ve never been good at it anyway. I’ve never liked it much, either. Am I to be a shamed of not being good at something I’ve never liked in the first place?

I wonder what that says about them. What it means that they try to mold me and make me conform. They call me selfish for not answering to their needs. They call me unruly for not following their rules. They call me haughty for not hating myself. What am I to do, then? Become servile, obedient and insecure?

I think I shall not. That way lies self-destruction. They’ve already tried to destroy me with brute force and ignorance.

[audacityinblack]

Live for yourself.

Think for yourself.

Speak for yourself.

Act for yourself.

Fight for yourself.

Love for yourself.

Stand up for yourself.

Take for yourself.

Because no one else will.

[audacityinblack]

Don’t romanticize your autism.

Don’t find ways to use it to your advantage.

Don’t learn as much about it as possible and use the knowledge to make your life better.

Don’t realize that most of the struggle you deal with is a result of other people’s ignorance and prejudice rather than any deficiency you might have.

Don’t study your brain and find out that it’s a beautiful machine with elegant configuration.

Don’t try to unlock the secret power hidden in your neurology.

Don’t care more about your ability to live comfortably than how comfortable you make others.

Don’t stand up for yourself in the face of discrimination.

Don’t destroy the unfounded beliefs and toxic ideas that threaten everything from your dignity to your life.

Don’t think about how strong your mental armor actually is.

Don’t pay attention to your strong sence of justice.

Don’t draw hard lines and build high walls where your boundaries are.

Don’t defend them with all your worth.

Don’t keep smashing through the walls of people’s perception.

Don’t taste the wine of the depth of your senses.

Don’t get a little drunk on your passions. 

Don’t romanticize your autism.

[audacityinblack]

Looking for songs for a playlist for an OC

-Black, masculine-presenting lesbian -Something of an everyman character -MBTI: ESTP -Zodiac: Aries/Taurus cusp -Hogwarts house: Slytherin -Professional bartender, runs family business -Played the drum in her high school marching band -Also good with brass instruments. -Does glass and metal work by commission on the side of her day (night?) job -Knows just about every carnie trick with fire and swords. Sometimes breaks out the fire breathing gig to entertain her patrons. -On that note, do not take up any bar bets with her, she will beat you. -Can read people based on their drink order. -Something of an overachiever. Likes to show off her work. -Chemistry geek. -Recurring phoenix motif. -Tends to align with the element of fire. -Slots well into the Warrior RPG character class. -Actually knows how to wield a sword. -Finds it hard to relate to others on any deep level. Always feels like she’s behind a counter. -Favorite music genres are ska, punk/blues, trip hop, indie rap, indie rock, and electronica. -She takes that “indie” thing very seriously aside from a few absolute favorite bands. -One of those bands is Queen. -Openly mocks traditionalism, conservatism, and moral pretenses. -Frequently hosts charity nights at her bar. -Outspoken atheist. -Learned mixed martial arts to defend herself. Strong preference for capoeira and muay thai. -Zero tolerance for abusers. Has personally intervened in abusive situations she’s witnessed. Often ends up in fights because of it. Not sorry. -Offers emergency shelter for people fleeing abusive situations and works with them to help get to safety.

[anima-art-posts]

I wrote this fic for Ros' birthday ;v;)/ So I thought I should share it to you guys in case you're interested. https://www.wattpad.com/story/70737701-senyuu-what-is-a-birthday My writing REALLY SUCKS THOUGH! So proceed cautiously with a strong heart :')) There's only 1 chapter, but I'm currently making the 2nd chapter I'm planning to make it 3-4 chapters, so I think I should be done by his birthday?? I'M SORRY ROS FOR CONTRIBUTING WITH A LAME PRESENT OTL IF I HAVE TIME I'LL TRY TO DRAW SOMETHING!!

[audacityinblack]

Uncanny

My otherness is not weakness.

I am uncommon. I am uncanny. I am uncontrollable. I am unruly.

I am clever. I am curious. I am cunning. I am creative. 

I am defiant. I am determined. I am devious. I am dangerous.

I am mad. I am magical. I am mercurial. I am monstrous.

I was not born into this world in the way of most mortals. Like Athena, I came by way of an act of splitting, with tools forged of fire. The first act of my existence was to spit in the eye of order.

I began to learn from the moment I became aware. Once again, defying expectations, I began to read before most were out of diapers. I learned the mechanics of human sexuality before most had finished kindergarten, by way of a book written for people my parents’ age.

They learned early on that I was clever. They encouraged it.

I learned early on that I wasn’t like others. I reveled in it.

I learned immediately afterward that aforementioned others weren’t too keen on this idea. I learned it the hard way, by way of brute force and ignorance - when I didn’t obey, they just hit me harder. Those who know me well, I ask you, honestly:

Do you think that worked?

The harder they hit me, the harder I resisted. The louder they shouted, the louder I shouted back. The more they tried to make rules, the more I tried to break them. I suppose I can forgive them, in one respect; they had no idea how to deal with something like me. They only used what they knew, the same brute force and ignorance they were taught.

How dare I suggest I’m deserving of special treatment? How arrogant of me, how selfish, to make demands that the system change for me? What right do I have to shout “Make room!” It’s my responsibility to fit in, even if it requires me to hack pieces of myself off. And if I don’t do it, they will. They’ll force me and they’ll cut me and they’ll hammer me down. That’s what they do to the nail that sticks up, after all. But if you hit a nail at the wrong angle, you’re gonna end up bending it. I hope y’all have your tetanus shots.

I was one of the “bad” kids. One of the John Benders of the world, maybe just a little, due to being too smart and too chickenshit to get in trouble with the law. Damn near everything else, though, was on the table if I didn’t consent to be governed. Objectively speaking, I wasn’t easy to deal with. I’m still not easy to deal with.

But that’s not my fault. It’s not my fault any more than it’s a hornet’s fault for stinging the asshole who thought it was funny to blast her hive apart with a BB gun. It’s not my fault any more than it’s a shark’s fault for having a mouthful of razor-sharp teeth. It’s the nature of this beast.

And those beasts have their place in this world. They have the right to be here. The hornet’s got the right to defend her colony. The shark has the right to eat. I have the right to exist as I am, as exactly who I am, and not be counted as less of a person for refusing to accept the idea that I had to be like everyone else.

There are ways to deal with me and hornets and sharks without hurting us. Sure, as a sentient human it’s more of a two-party affair, but I do only what I can - and I can do a lot, but not the shit that the system demands I be capable of doing.

This is about more than the nature of the beast, though. I choose this point of view based on my own experience. I sucked at being “normal” and got treated like shit for it. In a perfect world, I wouldn’t have been treated like shit, but I prefer being treated like shit for rejecting normalcy than for trying to play-act at it to the point of cracking. The golden question is why it happens in the first place, and I knew that early on. I knew I didn’t deserve it. But to have the audacity to say that as a child is to invite further attempts at reeducation. To say it as a teenager means I’m going through some phase I’ll surely grow out of soon enough.

But I’m 28 now. I’m 28, and the message isn’t any quieter. No amount of punishment will ever make me “normal.” I am a glitch in the system by my nature and there is nothing I can do to change that. There are many like me that they like to pretend aren’t important or don’t exist because they don’t know how to deal with us other than brute force and ignorance and don’t care enough to actually learn how.

I represent a greater, uncomfortable truth in this world. That truth is that there are people who break the mold, who force the majority to open their eyes and realize they aren’t the only ones worth their existence and the resources required to safeguard it. The other uncomfortable truth is that we’re not going away.

[audacityinblack]

I loved the explanation of "lens flare” and “Gregorian choir” in writing. I was wondering if there was a similar equivalent to the Bond shot besides detailed description, closing in. Thanks. X

I assume you mean the gun barrel sequence.

First thing you’ll want is paragraph breaks to slow your pacing before the approach (i.e. when Bond walks on screen.)  Make your prose shorter here - you’re not focusing on detailed descriptions as much as an event, and you want your pace to focus on the speed of the event. You basically want a measured buildup from slow to fast, up until your gunshot, which should come as a sudden “stop.” You want your “gunshot” to pretty much feel, to your reader, like they’re actually being shot. Then, for the very last bit, you let your reader “bleed” a little - add just a little more, to make that feeling last.

A theme park I used to go to had a motion theater ride based on 007 that starts with that sequence, so I’ve actually got a bit of direct experience with this. On the ride, the chair would jerk at the actual gunshot, and then start to sway like you were collapsing from blood loss.

You’re walking down the hallway in a dark, abandoned building.

You suddenly hear what sounds like movement in the silence, and you swear it’s getting closer.

Every couple of steps, you stop, but the sounds don’t. So, you start running.

You run faster and faster, your heart pounding, gasping for breath, until you think you can’t hear it anymore. You take one last glance behind you, just to be sure you’re not being pursued.

Sighing with relief, you turn back to look at the path ahead.

The last thing you see is a shadow swallowing your vision as something razor-sharp pierces your neck.

You don’t even have time to scream.

The trick I use to do this is actually that my autism has always made me see things in pictures, video, and even virtual reality sequences complete with cinematography. It’s not just “seeing,” either - I get full sensory immersion just from reading words. When I write, I try to get my writing to resemble that experience as closely as possible. Most people, even some writers, don’t always grasp how much stuff affects the feel of writing that doesn’t involve the actual words. Word length, sentence length, paragraph length, line breaks, repetition, when, where and if you use dialogue, etc. can completely change the experience your reader gets.

That’s what cinematography does in movies. Different shots create different “vibes,” within the medium of film, and that’s what I do with these writing techniques.