RedEye sex columnist Anna Pulley answers a readers question about bisexuality.
We accept that a person can enjoy cake and pie (and ice cream and macarons, whoever those people are), yet, it’s harder for us to accept a view of sexuality as expansive ... Basically, our desires can incorporate far more options if only we’d allow it.
However, we do live in a culture that seeks to dismiss, downplay and deny bisexuality.
I’m wondering if you are (perhaps unconsciously) feeling this pressure to “pick a side already!” As a bisexual+ in a long-term relationship with a woman, I am quite familiar with this pressure, as well as the many struggles and stereotypes that the bisexual+ label is yoked to.
Rather than ask yourself “Am I really bi+ or really a lesbian?” I suggest you work on accepting the complex and contradictory parts of yourself—to revel in them. Because those tensions and ambiguities are what define the complex topography of you. And life, generally.
