#another funeral

[streamacademe]

Week 117, Day 814.

When I first started this blog, I mentioned that I had been in foster care. Last week, I lost my wonderful foster mum, the person who took me in with open hands and heart when I was most damaged, hopeless, and frankly suicidal. She changed the trajectory of my life and is one of the main reasons I am who I am today. She taught me what it feels like to have a home, to feel secure, to belong. I genuinely doubt I would still be here today if it wasn’t for her. Alzheimer’s is a merciless disease and she didn’t deserve to forget how much she changed lives. I will never forget how much she changed mine. And so, with a heavy heart, I have another funeral to go to; at least there’s no dust on my funeral dress, having had hardly any time to process my previous loss. 💔

Photo: My foster mum and I. Source: Photo album.

My wonderful partner has committed himself to a challenge of running a marathon (26 miles) a week over the course of this year to raise money for Dementia UK, a charity who provide support for families of those living with dementia. With just 2 weeks to go, he has raised an incredible amount already, but if you have any pennies to spare, please donate to this incredible cause here.  As you can imagine, everything over the last few days has had an overwhelming hue of sadness to it. 🌧 Nevertheless, life continues... 

Last week, I won the poster prize competition at the RSPH conference on the ‘Future of Water in Public Health’. This award was completely unexpected and means that 2 out of the 2 posters that I have so far produced have won first place, although the last win was 75 weeks ago! Still, that's not a bad track record, right? 😅 Photo: The presentation competition winner, myself, and Dr Susanne Lee, Director, Leegionella Ltd. at the RSPH conference. Source: Phone camera. 

I have also managed to finish writing my journal paper! 🎉 Although, I have requested, and been granted, a deadline extension to address any supervisory comments and corrections. I now have 6 days left to submit, just in time for Christmas. ✍🏻 On the note of Christmas, our tree is now up, which the cat thoroughly enjoys chewing/destroying. See below. ✨ I hope you all have a less testing week than I’ve had. ❤ Photo: All I want for Christmas... and the spoilt brat knows it. Source: Phone camera.

[ranger-26]

Today was the funeral. We just got home. It has been difficult to not only say goodbye to another person we both loved very much, but also to say goodbye to an era. An era in which two matriarchal figures watched over us.

Now we really are on our own.

Due to aggressive neighbors that were proven to be high on anphetamines, we ended up "upgrading" from the tiny studio apartment we were in and into a spacious 1 bedroom unit (which is blessedly quiet and has elderly neighbors, instead of younger tenants that were blasting our walls with bass, yelling at the top of their lungs, and were stressing out our poor cats).

It has been a week of tears. Tears of frustration, stress, anger, grief, and fear of retaliation from other tenants. Everything is changing and we are desperate to find some repetition in lieu of normality.

I am going to take a couple more weeks to grieve and get things settled here at our new place before I post anything. We are back to a point in our lives where we don't even have the luxury of having time to make a homecooked meal.

I am out of words.

[carysnewlife]

This may be a long post and it is overdue like 19 days...

I was on a cruise from December 20th to January 3rd, so I started my “New Years Resolutions” on January 4th. I wanted to post my stats and my weight, share some positivity and so on... On the weekend of Janurary 6th/7th/8th we wanted to go back to our hometowns to celebrate Christmas with our families late. When we arrived at January 7th at my mother in law, we found her dead in her house. She died just hours ago. So instead of focusing on good eating and getting healthy, we organized a funeral and did all the things that needed to be done. I needed to support my husband, ran like 100 errands a day. Now I’m back home, after a really beautiful service and have to find back into my “normal” life, after almost a month away (with a 3 day break). That’s tough. So I pretend like it’s January 1st and restart my journey today and now.  I already “broke up” with a group of people today, who I think it’s not good for me. I will focus on my real friends, try to make some new. But I am not able to shoulder some new responsibilities (like I did in this group). I will look into therapy again, focus on my eating and my body.

 Well - wasn’t so long after all... 

[slashdementia7734]

[flamingmirrorbookish]

.

[peytondawn]

Deaths in a family really sucks but what’s even more fucked up is when it happens so much that you become immuned to it.

[destroyer-drax]

so I am definitely requesting thursday off. not sure if I will attend the funeral but I probably will. Just want to confirm that it's cool with my friend.

[heresmyhead]

Off to Ohio !

I hate funerals