Ok, just finished season 4 in my re-watch, and THIS is how I want this shit to pick up in season five, after everything Sam's selfish arrogance put Dean through in season 4, and Bobby trying to reinforce in Dean that family is supposed to make you miserable and mistreat you. (I cannot BELIEVE what Bobby said to Dean, with everything he knows about his life). Anyway, Dean, “Bobby, enjoy letting Sam make you miserable, if you really think that’s what family is, but he almost killed me on his way to starting the apocalypse. Sam, you have Bobby, you'll be fine. I'm leaving. Because I don't deserve to die saving Sam from his own choices.” Cas just invented free will and is clearly sticking around for Dean.
Down the road, conveniently ignoring all the angel drama of season 5, none of that matters, Dean has been Sam-free 1.5 years, Cas makes a move, asks Dean one day why they don’t touch. “Dean, I’ve been watching other partners. Other teammates. What qualifications do we need for appropriate touching?” Dean, “…*dial up noises*… Don’t call it ‘appropriate touching” okay?” They break it down, Dean goes out of town for two days and leaves John’s Journal with Cas. When he gets back, they talk about everything.
When Sam ever does reach out with explanations and reassurances that he’s clean, Dean says, “Good for you, I’m really happy to hear that, Sammy. Hope you stay well,” and doesn’t tell Sam where he is.
When Dean maybe ever does meet Sam somewhere, he has Cas with him, and Sam scoffs and laughs and Dean and Cas walk out.
They don’t answer the next time Sam calls.
That scene at a diner,
Sam said something dismissive, Dean did the smile laugh, empty smile, empty smile, glance at Cas. Reflexively laughs it off. And Cas is just staring at Sam , looks at Dean for a second, hones back in on Sam, staring until Sam has to awkwardly laugh, “Sooo,” and move on.
Sam realizes Dean didn’t want to come alone, that Dean must have been working with Cas during their separation, and is pissed because he knows he can’t emotionally pummel Dean with Cas there, “Wait, are you kidding me? Did you bring an -angel- to help you face your brother? Don’t you think that’s a little, I don’t know, pathetic?”
Cas, “I’d be careful introducing words like ‘pathetic’ into this particular conversation. Don’t forget why you had to call us to get us here.”
Sam, scoffs, “Us?”
Dean looks at Cas and sees two years’ worth of growth and self-possession, hard earned peace, carefully built trust, free of obligation, blackmail, and guilt, all this and more painted across the angel’s face. A future. A life worth living. Dean looks back to Sam, “We’re working on something, yeah.” Dean gestures at Cas with his thumb and then to himself. “Him and me.” Cas watches Dean’s movement and then settles his eyes back on Sam.
Sam, confused, shifts in his seat, “Well, this isn’t really what I had planned to talk about, but, like, together?”
Dean gives a tight laugh stretched his neck to one side, then the other, tense, “Yes, Sam, yes, jeez, a lot has changed for me, what do you want me to say? He’s staying, let’s get this show on the road.”
Sam holds a finger up in the air, licks his lips “Okay, you’re gonna have to run that by me again. Our whole lives, I have only -ever- seen you with chicks. Now all of a sudden, you lose me, and you latch onto the closest guy standing? Who happens to be some random angel? How can you trust him?”
Dean thought of Sam making similar comments about Dean’s quick found friendship with Gordon after John died. Dean did rely on men to fill the empty spaces in his life, he knew that. You can’t just fill that hole with whoever you want to, Dean! It’s an insult to his memory.
Dean, “Sam, I did not lose you, okay? This thing with Cas has nothing to do you with you, and everything to do with me, man. It’s not up for friggin debate. What did you want to say when you called us.”
Sam irks at ‘called us’, “I want to talk alone, Dean.”
Dean purses his lips and shakes his head a little, “Give me one good reason, why I should do -any- of this, on your terms.”
Sam, “Because I’m your brother, and - ”
Dean laughs, his face sour, a hand absentmindedly lifts to massage his throat where Sam had choked him that night in the hotel room, the burning in Dean’s chest driving home the words that reached him over his own gasping, you don’t know me. You never did, and you never will. “Sam, that’s not gonna work. I’m gonna need more from you. Okay, I am done filling in the blanks and taking what I can get with you, I’m gonna need - “
Sam lifts a hand in Dean’s face, “No, hold up, Dean - I can’t believe this!”
Dean leans back in his chair and sighs, Sam looks incredulously from Dean to Cas and back. “You really won’t talk to me, is that it? After everything? After – “
Dean gets up, pushes Cas gently on his shoulder, urging him to stand. He squares off on Sam and looks him in the eye, his face morose, “No, I won’t, not like this. Come on Cas, we gotta… I gotta go. Bye, Sammy. I’m sorry, I just can’t”
Sam, “Dean are you joking? I drove five hours; you owe me a conversation. A -private- conversation.”
Dean, coat over his arm, Cas standing close at his shoulder, looking down at Sam still sitting, “No, I don’t. Never again, Sam. Stay healthy.”
Sam, “Fheba nfielna elcnepadm, Lipstick! Lipstick! In my valentino white bag?!”
And one day, Dean hears that, on a hunt, Sam fell on a rusty nail, let out a musty wail, and died. Dean would have to process that, but he knows that it’s not on him. Sam could have quit hunting if he wanted to. In fact, Dean learns that it wasn’t even a hunt. Sam had quit hunting, he just tripped in his own barn. ☹
