Mar 7, 2021
you know its a good party when you can sit in a dark room all by yourself eating hot cheetos in isolation
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you know its a good party when you can sit in a dark room all by yourself eating hot cheetos in isolation
The mask
I’m curious if anybody else is this way
Ever since I was a kid I’ve always hated bathing or showering. Almost always fought tooth and nail. It wasn’t like a fear thing I just hated it. Brushing teeth too. I thought I’d outgrow it but I still really don’t like it. I think I just don’t see it as a necessity? Which is weird cause it kind of is. I’ll go days without showering when I can. Sometimes I’ll chalk it up to just laziness but I’ve been this way since I was a child. I’m bad about brushing teeth too and will only do it if I’m going out, somehow I’ve been able to get away with never having a cavity. My brother is the exact same way, but he fights brushing his teeth more. I believe for him it’s a little more of an ocd type thing as he can’t stand the bristles but honestly he’s quite capable of powering through and brushing he just doesn’t want to. I’ve also always fought sleep too. Never really wanted to go to sleep and it’s always been hard for me to go to sleep. I fucking love sleep but I hate at the same time. My brother and I likely have/had ODD so idk if that has to play into it or not. I’m just curious if other people are like this.
Anybody here with actually anger or rage issues?
I mean proper rage. Occasional Irritability is different and a symptom of a lot of other mental illnesses or disorders. I mean blackout rage episodes or chronic anger and irritability. I’ve had three blackout rage explosions that I can recount in my life and they were very damaging. I was seven or eight when I had the first one I remember and I permently damaged a friendship because of it. Second one I was 15 and exploded on my aunt who to be fair is extremely annoying. Most recent one I actually assaulted my aunt, had it coming 100%. Even my mom said that she wanted to do what I did lol. I mean I straight up throttled her. Okay anyways lol. My mask fell during the eps, except for the first obviously cause I was a child, and I absolutely could not control myself. It was out of my hands at that point. I remember during the second one right after I had exploded and walked away it was like I came to and genuinely asked myself what the fuck just happened? All these eps thought memory is spotty and fuzzy at points. There are parts that are clear and other parts it’s like bad film editing where it’s really cut up and jumpy. Why am I like this lol.
Does anybody else get so bored to the point where a slight depression kicks in??
Today I woke up and realized life is full of stress, other people to be exact.
I just want to be by myself today, I don't want to talk to ANYONE...
But of course nobody at home will understand that, they'll just pin it to my phone. "You're too addicted to this phone." They'll say
Well sorry that I'm currently an antisocial freak that just wants to be alone for the day.
Ahh coming home from a long day of faking it just to have to fake it some more...
No wonder I don’t come out of my room. Only place where I can shed the mask
Watching friends, himym and that 70s show because you live vicariously through fictional friend groups and actually have no real ones