#antitrad

[localareamom]

I love the dumb Dude I Married for powering through the intense situation of jaws of the lion while dealing with lockdown two electric boogaloo but totally different because it’s two years later and while doing major emergency home repair. Also we are fucking broke and he hates me for not bringing in income. So antitrad.

[getae-radfem]

[getae-radfem]

[getae-radfem]

[getae-radfem]

[vintageswitcheroo]

Let’s talk about tradwives.

I want to talk about tradwives for a second.

When I was a teenager, I had a terrible breakup with an abusive girlfriend and I ended up shocking my totally normal parents by retreating hard into a world of hardline fundie Christian doctrine, and for a brief period there was a side of whyte nationalism as well.

It was the first time I had experienced having my heart broken. My world turned upside down, and I became convinced, after falling down a rabbit hole online that began innocently with historical costume patterns, that the only way to feel safe for the rest of my life was to find the kind of man who wanted me to stay at home and never work.

I know now that that’s not safety. And that safety isn’t a mountain you climb once and stay at the top of forever. But I worry when I see all these young women aspiring to be tradwives or being them already. I wonder how many of them are retreating into the idea of being a tradwife out of fear of the future.

And you know what? I’m afraid of the future, too. I think most people right now are. But there are legitimate reasons to be afraid, rooted in the urgency of modern problems that need global solutions, and there are illegitimate reasons rooted in bigotry and exclusion.

And in either case, the path to security isn’t down the aisle with a man who doesn’t view you as his equal.

I wish I could tell my 16 year-old self that.

But since I can’t, I’ll just say that into the void, and see if it lands on any ears that need to hear it.

Of course, not all tradwives are tradwives out of fear. But I truly wonder how many journeys down the path of reduced personhood and exclusionary thinking are rooted in fear and trauma.

Regardless, my ask box is open.