WIP excerpt for Tabetha Rasa behind the cut; "superbat apiary".
content notes: apiary dynamics, not QUITE feral behavior but definitely mentally-compromised behavior.
(( chrono || non-chrono ))
“I really don’t feel like that’s the issue here, honey,” Lois says. “I very much do not feel like that’s the issue here, in fact.”
“But he doesn’t like me!” Clark says helplessly, and barely keeps himself from buzzing about it again. Or–vibrating, technically. Technically it’s vibrating, he guesses.
He doesn’t know, it just feels like buzzing.
Well–he thinks it does.
“You are one of the, like, three things not his kids that he does like, Clark,” Lois says, frowning consideringly as she taps her pen against her notepad.
“Which he doesn’t want any of from me!” Clark says, throwing his hands up in frustration again. “He has so many and he doesn’t want even one from me! I–one sec again, sorry.”
He’s still in his suit, at least, so he only has to slip into super-speed this time, and four seconds later he’s fishing Stalker and Wonder Girl out of both the ballpit and the pile of alarmingly strong and extremely aggressive animatronics that they were just suffocating under while Spoiler was shrieking some very creative curse words and hitting with Stalker’s bo staff. The animatronics, Clark means, not Stalker and Wonder Girl.
. . . well, mostly not Stalker and Wonder Girl.
Clark kicks one of the . . . yes, no, those are definitely the Freddies or whatever they were called from that game Jon spent six months of last year scaring himself with Let’s Plays of . . . Clark kicks one of the Freddies out of the ballpit and into the whack-a-mole machine, which goes off flashing and wailing with alarms, and then retreats with Stalker and Wonder Girl as the other Freddies lunge for them.
Alright then, Clark thinks, then snatches up Spoiler and Impulse with his other arm and extracts all three of them from the . . . yes, it is an actual pizza place where they were just getting smothered by giant animatronics in the bottom of a ball pit. Again: alright, then. Still not the weirdest thing he’s ever had to deal with on the job, honestly.
“Arrowette wasn’t with you, was she?” he checks, though he’s already X-raying the building even as he asks the question. “Or–sorry, that wasn’t a kind question, was it.”
“We appreciate the thought, Superman, but she did very decisively quit, yes,” Stalker says. “And also she’s on house arrest at least until the official sentencing hearing. So no, it’s just the four of us.”
So the five of them, Clark translates reflexively, but the mist girl doesn’t really have to worry about physical injuries and has also apparently filled up the entire arcade with smoke and fog that appears to have left the animatronics all thrashing and twitching and screaming unholy demonic static as they all fall to pieces on the cheesy eighties-era carpet, so he decides not to worry about it. Kids need some room to work things out for themselves, and these kids have their secrets for understandable reasons, in his opinion. And, well, after everything with the DEO, and then the Arrowette incident . . .
Definitely understandable, that Young Justice isn’t always particularly forthcoming about all of their teammates.
“Does Batman know you’re not in Gotham this weekend?” Clark asks as he lets go of Wonder Girl and lets her take Impulse with her. Stalker and Spoiler he keeps holding himself, given they're both Bruce's. And anyway, Wonder Girl is their team’s only–well, their team’s only public flyer, anyway. They really could use another one of those, honestly, but they do have the Super-Cycle, he supposes.
“I mean, probably, it’s Batman,” Spoiler says with a shrug, turning her hands up. “But beats us, Super-fly.”
“Hm,” Clark says. “Well, Agent A’s making pot roast tonight, if you want a ride to the Batcave.”
“Score, free pot roast!” Spoiler immediately whoops, throwing her hands up in the air.
“. . . do we actually have a choice about the ride to the Batcave, Superman?” Stalker asks.
“Well, yes,” Clark says. “But you’re probably worrying Batman by being out of town, and I just picked Red Robin and Arsenal up from a killbox about ten minutes ago, so I feel like he’s worried enough for one day already.”
SVSSS: In a universe where Maigu Ridge doesn’t happen and Bingmei gets his fondest wish of being topped and deflowered by his shizun, neither of these two virgin idiots know that lube is an important part of anal sex. SY’s only knowledge of papapa comes from skimming the sex scenes in PIDW, and LBH went into the abyss before getting any sex ed. On the bright side, their first times will quite literally be the worst sex of their lives so they can only have better sex from here on out. Good thing LBH is half heavenly demon and can heal himself nigh instantaneously.
Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement
Sterilization Ritual
Apiary DP: Danny contracts Bee Gender™ while exploring space and as a form of gender affirmation, has his uterus removed. He doesn’t realize that his gender has changed to Ivanhoe until he’s infected Sam and Tucker because he’s already got a protection obsession and thought the sudden burning desire to yeet the ute was just because he’s trans. It’s only when Sam starts exhibiting Quixote attributes and points out that Danny seems uninterested in leaving Amity Park that they start to put things together.
Trope reversal: Divorce of convenience
DP: In order to qualify for state medical insurance and get her chronic condition (which is caused by/exacerbated by the ghost suit) treated, Danny and Val get a divorce. Danny wanted to just go shake down Vlad, but Val wants nothing to do with him. Sam would help, but she’s estranged from her parents.
SVSSS: SJ marries YQY just so he can divorce him and make him feel abandoned. YQY is quietly thrilled that he can give SJ stuff and call it alimony for the rest of their lives, even though he is simultaneously devastated. The divorce does not last. SJ is too possessive and rationalizes it by telling himself this way he gets all of YQY’s wealth, not just the alimony payments (he doesn’t actually care about the money, he just refuses to give up YQY after having him all to himself). All the peak lords swiftly learn to never mention the failed divorce in SJ’s hearing or they will mysteriously experience a horrific poisoning or encounter with an incredibly unpleasant plant within the next month.
okay so i was kinda confused about the apiary thing and saw the powerpoint and fell into a rabbit hole and i now i wanna know are lois and bruce both have the queen role in clarks head
So Bruce is DEFINITELY a Queen in Clark's bee-brain, yes, Bruce is the QUEENEST of queens. Probably in Clark's brain he is the JL's or Gotham's queen. LOIS, however, he probably thinks of in the role of either an Arcadia or an Ivanhoe, because he thinks of her as an investigator--i.e., a hunter/gatherer of necessary resources ( a.k.a. information ) for the community that is Metropolis, so that Metropolis is operating with all the relevant information as often as possible--OR as someone who is defending Metropolis by exposing the truth of things, and therefore a warrior/worker who is part of the mechanisms of keeping corruption and crime at bay. Maaaaaybe he could parse her as a Kloka because investigation to article COULD be seen as a "resource management" thing, but I feel like Arcadia or Ivanhoe are likelier.
Not that Clark KNOWS any of these words, but yeah. Like, those are just the things he is feeling on an instinctive level, basically.
I kinda think Clark parses his "hive" as being Metropolis, and therefore himself and Lois and Jon as members of that specific hive. Smallville is the hive he came from originally and is still very attached to and cares about but couldn't have been what he's SUPPOSED to be in, and Gotham is a hive of its own.
Just while he does not consider himself or Lois as Metropolis's queen, he DEFINITELY considers BRUCE as Gotham's.
. . . come to think, probably part of Clark thinks of LEX as being Metropolis's queen and he is SO TETCHY about how BAD he thinks Lex is at it, and that is probably a not-insignificant part of why they both get under each other's skin so much, hahahaha.
Lex: how DARE people think Superman is more important to Metropolis/the world/humanity than ME, I am SO much more important than Superman, he is an INTERLOPER here ANYWAY.
Clark: YOU ARE LITERALLY IN CHARGE OF THIS WHOLE DAMN PLACE, OH MY GOD, WHY ARE YOU SO INSECURE ABOUT IT, I'M JUST HERE TO HELP OUT. you know what, I am not even gonna GIVE you a baby, you don't DESERVE a baby from me!! you can have a baby when you get OVER yourself, MAYBE.
Lois, taking more notes in red pen: uh-huh, honey. wanna expand on that thought process, maybe?
Clark: /TEN-HOUR RANT/
Lois: . . . I think I'm gonna need a bigger notepad.
But yeah, Clark both considers Metropolis one giant hive and therefore a place with MANY smaller groups/factions/sectors having kids for the hive to thrive via, and he is also really, REALLY a Wife Guy for whom "acts of service" are SO very much his love language, so Lois is not a queen in his brain but he very much DID still want to get her a baby, haha. The reason he's so extra about getting specifically BRUCE a baby is that it's been, like, a decade-plus of Bruce repeatedly getting babies from OTHER PEOPLE and not asking HIM for any, but Lois married him and was in the process at least TALKING to him about the possibility of them having kids someday and therefore letting off some of his weird-about-it steam, because in his mind she was asking him FOR a kid and telling him what kind of kid she'd like. And then they had Jon, and she LOVES Jon, so Clark's all good there; Clark's the BEST . . . thing-he-doesn't-know there is!! THE BEST. HE LOVES HIS WIFE SO MUCH YOU GUYS, SHE'S SO GOOD AT COMMUNICATING WHAT SHE WANTS IN A BABY.
Meanwhile, BRUCE'S communication skills . . .
Bruce: I work alone and I want no dependents or significant others or partners or children in my life ever. I will deign to allow an occasional co-worker once a blue moon and that is it.
Clark, Sad Bee Eyes but probably also currently parsing Bruce as Ivanhoe anyway: okay . . . I guess . . . . . . if you're super super SUPER sure . . .
Bruce: I'm sure, yes.
Bruce, five minutes later, holding a tiny acrobat made of rage and vengeance who is trying to gnaw his arm off so he can go murder a grown man in cold blood: I only met Dick Grayson five minutes ago but if anything ever happens to him I'm killing everyone in this reality and then myself.
Clark: . . . so like HE'S--
Bruce: my ward and partner. that's all. he kept trying to go out on his own, so I'm just keeping him from getting himself killed running off after mobsters and giving him an outlet for his grief and anger that he can direct into something productive while also being mentored and protected by a more experienced vigilante.
Clark, his bee-brain reorienting and thinking "wait, Godiva?? is this Godiva, maybe??": . . . okay, I GUESS that makes--
Bruce, five minutes later, holding a grumbly homeless preteen who he may or may not have technically kidnapped off the street: I only met Jason Todd five minutes ago but if anything ever happens to him I'm going to have a major shift in my crimefighting methods and paranoia levels and my ethics in regards to how I treat my partners and allies and maybe try to commit a murder you'll have to personally prevent me from committing and never ever ever EVER go to therapy about it.
Clark: . . . . . . . . .
Bruce: also I adopted him. he likes reading and cooking and one time he hit me in the gut with a tire iron. it bruised. :)
Clark, with AGONIZED BUZZING all up in his bee-brain: OH COME ON--
Superbat apiary please!!! I've been so exited about that au since I first saw it
“. . . it occurs to me, Clark, that I never asked how and why you heard those things when they happened,” Lois says. “Like, what specifically about them caught your ear, that is, out of literally every other sound on the planet.”
“Because I was listening for a good kid for Bruce already,” Clark replies reasonably, because obviously he was doing that. “And I always listen to all his kids’ heartbeats. And also anyone talking about kids and him in the same sentence, just in case they ever say something about one he might want. You know.”
“. . . . . . I did not, actually, but it does explain some things,” Lois says. “Several things, in fact. How long have you wanted to, uh . . . give Bruce a baby, exactly?”
Clark stops in his tracks, his head whipping up as a light goes off in his head, and he realizes–“A baby. He’s never had an actual baby, maybe I could find him a–”
“Clark!” Lois cuts in with a sharp gesture of her red pen. “Focus, honey.”
“No,” Clark replies glumly, wilting a little, because Bruce never asks. “He could’ve asked me, but he won’t ask me, because he hates me and he thinks I’m a bad–a bad–thing, I don’t–he thinks I’m bad and he thinks I’d get him bad kids, Lois! Why does he think I’d get him bad kids, he’s seen Jon, Jon’s a great kid, he knows I got you a great kid, so why doesn’t he think I could get him a great kid just the same?!”
“Again, unless there are some very personal things I don’t know about Bruce, there are some foundational flaws in that plan, Smallville,” Lois says. “Also, you’re vibrating again.”
“It helps!” Clark says defensively, and then feels like an idiot and a terrible–terrible something, again, and . . . “Sorry. Sorrry, I just . . . I don’t know why he doesn’t like me. I thought he liked me.”
“I really don’t feel like that’s the issue here, honey,” Lois says.
went to go reread the apiary fic last night cos you posted a snippet, and was struck by a sudden thought: Clark mentioned Kara. She would probably be able to recognize and explain what is up with him! If anyone thinks to consider both the possibility that it's a Kryptonian thing, and also that they have a person who was on Krypton longer than infancy and therefore knows things. and then also asks her.
I imagine this is extremely unlikely to actually occur any time soon. but I realized it was possible.
I need to be SO clear here, friend: in that specific fic, the bees are not Kryptonian whatsoever, hahaha.
Clark: /having an anxiety attack over Bruce acquiring [ INSERT CHILD HERE ] and vibrating to the point of BUZZING in a self-soothing behavior/
everyone in Metropolis and the full roster of the Justice League: okay so this is an alien thing, clearly. well Kryptonians gotta be weird in SOME ways that aren't just god-level superpowers, so sure, why not, this might as well happen.
Kara, five feet to the left and obliviously hanging out with Krypto and a smoothie: man humans sure have socialized Kal weird lol
superbat apiary please!! absolutely loving it so far
“Right,” Lois repeats, frowning speculatively. “What about when you take Jon over to visit or Kara by the Batcave?”
“Oh, that makes it worse,” Clark says, shaking his head, and then feels a lot more bothered. “I have to take them back after, because he doesn’t want to keep them.”
“Kara is twenty-three, Clark,” Lois reminds him just a little dryly.
“Dick’s twenty-three,” Clark grumbles, folding his arms. “He keeps Dick.”
“Honey, Dick left home at eighteen and has lived in Bludhaven since he–wait, is that why you keep kidnapping Dick back to Wayne Manor for every single major holiday?” Lois demands. “I thought Bruce asked you to do that!”
I am very invested in superbat apiary, hope Clark figures out his alien impulses and manages to get Bruce a kid
“I’d get him pregnant if I could,” Clark mutters, back to pacing across the living room. “Except he wouldn’t take the time off to have a baby anyway, he wouldn’t want to be out of commission that long and have to get back in condition after, I’d have to be the pregnant one, except I can’t even get pregnant, so what am I supposed to do?! He let Talia get him a kid! Talia!”
“I feel like ‘letting’ Talia al Ghul get him a kid was not involved in that situation,” Lois says. “More like . . . ‘having the existence of a kid specifically concealed from him’? At least, there were an awful lot of assassins involved for a ‘letting’ kind of scenario.”
