Schlocktober Day 23
Going in Dry
SVSSS: In a universe where Maigu Ridge doesn’t happen and Bingmei gets his fondest wish of being topped and deflowered by his shizun, neither of these two virgin idiots know that lube is an important part of anal sex. SY’s only knowledge of papapa comes from skimming the sex scenes in PIDW, and LBH went into the abyss before getting any sex ed. On the bright side, their first times will quite literally be the worst sex of their lives so they can only have better sex from here on out. Good thing LBH is half heavenly demon and can heal himself nigh instantaneously.
Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement
Sterilization Ritual
Apiary DP: Danny contracts Bee Gender™ while exploring space and as a form of gender affirmation, has his uterus removed. He doesn’t realize that his gender has changed to Ivanhoe until he’s infected Sam and Tucker because he’s already got a protection obsession and thought the sudden burning desire to yeet the ute was just because he’s trans. It’s only when Sam starts exhibiting Quixote attributes and points out that Danny seems uninterested in leaving Amity Park that they start to put things together.
Trope reversal: Divorce of convenience
DP: In order to qualify for state medical insurance and get her chronic condition (which is caused by/exacerbated by the ghost suit) treated, Danny and Val get a divorce. Danny wanted to just go shake down Vlad, but Val wants nothing to do with him. Sam would help, but she’s estranged from her parents.
SVSSS: SJ marries YQY just so he can divorce him and make him feel abandoned. YQY is quietly thrilled that he can give SJ stuff and call it alimony for the rest of their lives, even though he is simultaneously devastated. The divorce does not last. SJ is too possessive and rationalizes it by telling himself this way he gets all of YQY’s wealth, not just the alimony payments (he doesn’t actually care about the money, he just refuses to give up YQY after having him all to himself). All the peak lords swiftly learn to never mention the failed divorce in SJ’s hearing or they will mysteriously experience a horrific poisoning or encounter with an incredibly unpleasant plant within the next month.
