warnings: near death experience, worried!reader, not gonna put too much as to not spoil it :) main a/n at the end!
word count: 1.1k
day 106. warehouse of love.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
JJ has never felt worse in his life. He’s done a lot of shitty things, he’s spat mean words to a lot of people. His dad, his friends, Kooks, assholes at work. Pretty much everyone in Outerbanks had been on the receiving end of JJ’s cruel tongue. You had too, but never like that.
The way he’d spoken to you, made you feel small, made you feel stupid for trusting him in the first place. You’d grown too comfortable around him, you’d let him be your friend and that was the reaction you got. A whole lot of yelling and making you feel like shit because of circumstances that were out of your control.
He’d tried to talk to you the next morning, you ignored him. Later that day, he asked if you wanted to stop for the night, nothing, he made dinner and you ate on the other side of the fire and didn’t even look in his direction. The next day was the same, and the one after that. The only reason you hadn’t ditched him in the middle of the night was because he was right, you couldn’t look after yourself. It just sucked to have it thrown back in your face like that.
On the fourth day of you not speaking to him you found a warehouse. It looked to be locked up tight, meaning no one would’ve gotten inside and there was a chance there were supplies in there.
“Look, uh, you wait here and I’ll look around for a way in,” JJ instructed, you just nodded your head; he’d take that as a win, it was the most he’d gotten in days. He did find an entrance, and he managed to pick a lock on a fire exit door to get in.
You were waiting outside, not even sure if he’d gotten in. You kicked a rock with your shoe, glaring at the ground. Of course you wanted to make up with him, you wanted to go back to laughing and talking and cuddling up at night when it got cold. But you couldn’t. He’d hurt you, badly, and it wasn’t something that could just be forgotten. Especially not without an apology.
The problem was, JJ hadn’t apologised. He’d tried to talk to you like everything was normal, like he hadn’t spouted cruel words at you and made you cry yourself to sleep. He hadn’t said it was unfair of him to throw you being a Kook in your face. He hadn’t even mentioned it. The closest you got was him asking if you were ever going to speak to him again, his answer was you stalking off ahead of him without a look back.
All you wanted was an apology.
There was a loud crash from inside the building, you physically flinched from how loud it was. It went on for multiple seconds and your heart dropped. “JJ?” You yelled, if this was a ploy to get you to speak you weren’t going to be happy.
There was no response.
You ran around the side in the direction he’d gone and found an open door, you didn’t think twice before rushing in there. From the looks of it, JJ hadn’t thought about the fact that the shelves weren’t very sturdy and had done something to cause everything on them to fall off. He was nowhere in sight, and you were starting to panic.
“JJ?” You called again, voice shaky. If there were any geeks around the warehouse they would’ve heard that crash and would be on their way. The two of you needed to get out of there as soon as possible.
You shut the door behind you, for safety, and looked around the room. You couldn’t see him anywhere, until you looked at the mess properly. A hand was poking through. You screamed, running over to pull the heavy boxes off of his body. Of course JJ Maybank would die from a faulty shelf rather than a dead person walking.
His eyes were closed. You sobbed, using all your strength to drag him out from under the boxes. “Please wake up. JJ! This isn’t funny!” You checked for a pulse, you could feel one, but his eyes weren’t opening. Tears ran down your face as you sat back and stared at him.
What the hell were you going to do now? He was all you had, he was all you wanted. He was going to die and you’d refused to talk to him for days. You’d never be able to tell him how you really feel, you’d never be able to thank him for making you feel safe around men again after Rafe had tainted that for you, you’d never—
“Hey.” Your head snapped up from where it had bowed to stare at your lap. He groaned, forcing himself to sit up.
“Careful!” You exclaimed, basically launching yourself at him.
“I’m alright,” he reassured, cracking his back. “Jesus, why didn’t anyone know how to do their job? Faulty fuckin’ shelf, I swear—” he couldn’t say another word before he had you in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. “Oh, hey, hey, I’m alright.”
“I thought you were dead,” you cried, arms tightening around his neck. His hand came up and rested on your back and he leant into the hug, letting out a shaky sigh.
“I’m okay,” he soothed. “Can’t get rid of me that easily, baby. Pogue’s never die.”
You didn’t think. Just leant forward and attached your lips to his. He stiffened for a second, and you were about to pull back and officially run away from him, but then his arms wrapped tightly around you and he was kissing you back. Kissing you like he’d been wanting to for a long time. Tears carried on rolling down your cheeks, a salty flavour joining the kiss but neither of you pulled away. Not until you had to before you passed out.
“I’m so sorry,” he croaked out, voice breaking, forehead resting against yours. “I’m so fucking sorry. I got scared of how I was feeling about you, of being vulnerable with you and I acted like a dick.”
“It’s okay,” you whispered, watching as tears welled up in his eyes. “I just wanted an apology, Jayj.”
“I’ll apologise for the rest of my life if you keep kissin’ me like that,” he murmured, leaning in to press a shorter but just as passionate kiss against your lips.
“You’re not allowed in warehouses again,” you said, wiping your tears away. He smirked, looking a little sheepish.
“I tried to climb the shelf.”
“Of course you did.”
———
a/n: hell yeahhhh! finally got a kiss and the story is only now really starting😭also if anyone wants to be added to a taglist please comment on this post :)
Warnings: Almost smut?, pregnant zombie, anxiety attack, two pogue pregnancies, miscarriage
Word Count: 6.7k
Series Masterlist
A/N: I didn't post the entire last part of this fic so I'm sorry to the people who liked it before I realized😅
You and JJ’s room in Alexandria is quiet other than your soft and uneven breathing and the sound of kids playing in the street outside.
You’re cuddled into him, still trying to come down from what you just did together, cheek pressed to his chest while his hand drifts up and down your back.
JJ lets out a low breath, almost a laugh, his chest rising under you. “Oh my god.”
You giggle quietly against him, too tired to even lift your head.
“That was...” he pauses, like he’s searching for the right word, then huffs. “Yeah. I don’t even gotta word for that.”
You drag your chin up just enough to look at him. “You? No words? That’s new.”
“Hey,” he mutters, eyes dropping to your lips. “Don’t get used to it.”
You smile, soft and a little dazed, as his thumb brushes along your cheek.
“You’re really somethin’, you know that?” he murmurs.
You laugh under your breath. “You’re so dramatic.”
“I’m serious,” he says, leaning in so his nose to bumps yours. “My beautiful wife out here tryin’ to kill me.”
Your face warms instantly, and you duck your head, hiding it against his shoulder. “Shut up.”
He grins, one hand sliding up your back again, pulling you closer. “Mm, no,” he says quietly into your hair. “Think I’m gonna keep sayin’ it.”
You hum, smiling against his skin. “You’re obsessed with me.”
“Yeah,” he says easily. “Always been. You’re just late to the realization... dummy.”
You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “I hate you.”
“Liar.” His hand drifts lower, fingers tracing lazy lines along your side. “So... You think my wife’s got it her for a round two? I don’t mind doin’ all the work.”
You laugh softly. “Oh yeah, you don’t?”
He just looks at you for a second, something warm and heavy in his eyes, then shifts and slowly climbs over you, one hand braced beside your head. “Yeah. You don’t gotta do nothin’.”
Your stomach flips at the way he says it.
He brushes your hair back from your face, fingers lingering at your jaw. “You just lay there,” he murmurs, eyes moving between yours. “Let me take care of you for a while.”
You bite your lip as heat spreads through your chest.
“That sound good, sweetheart? Looks like it does.”
“Yeah, sounds really good.” You nod a little, looking up at him, completely warm and happy and a little breathless just from the way he’s looking at you.
He gently lifts one of your legs up so it's draped over his waist. “Alright. Gonna make you feel really good, baby. Just lay there and take what I give you.”
“Mm yes sir,” you whisper, smiling.
His face brushes your neck again as he kisses just below your ear, slow and warm, then pulls back just enough to look at you. One of his hands slides down, guiding you closer and then lining himself up.
Then suddenly your stomach twists. It’s subtle at first, just a weird little turn, but then it hits sharper and you freeze.
JJ notices immediately.
“What?” he asks quietly, pulling back a little, eyes scanning your face. “What’s wrong?”
You press a hand lightly to your stomach, brow furrowing. “Hang on.”
He squints at you. “You feel sick?”
You swallow. “Yeah, I think I might—”
“Oh shit.” He quickly rolls off of you. “You okay?” he asks, softer this time.
You nod quickly. “Yeah, I just— I feel kinda weird all of a sudden.”
He tilts his head, studying you for a second, then a slow grin creeps back onto his face, that familiar mischievous look returning to his eyes. “You think that’s motion sickness?”
You stare at him for half a second then burst out laughing again, even as you groan. “You’re so stupid.”
“Hey, just tryin’ to cover all possibilities.”
You shake your head, still smiling, then you're not as another wave of nausea hits. “Yeah, yep, I think I’m actually gonna be sick.”
That wipes the teasing smile right off his face and he sits up instantly. “Oh—okay— yeah, alright— c’mon.”
You barely make it to the bathroom before you’re leaning over the toilet, and JJ’s right behind you in seconds.
“I got you.” His voice softens instantly, one hand pulling your hair back, the other steady on your back.
You groan, squeezing your eyes shut as your stomach flips again. “I think it was that stupid squirrel soup last night.”
“Could be,” he mutters, rubbing slow circles against your back.
You huff out a weak laugh between breaths.
When it finally passes, you lean back against him slightly. “God, that was gross.”
“Yeah, you’re real cute right now,” he teases lightly, but he’s quieter, like he just thought of something.
You rinse your mouth, grabbing a towel to wipe your face, and when you glance at him in the mirror, he’s leaned against the doorframe watching you, looking a little more serious than usual.
“What?” you ask, squinting at him.
He hesitates before speaking. “You think it’s just the soup?”
You blink. “Yeah? What else would it be?”
He shrugs stiffly. “I don’t know. Just… askin’.”
You pause, studying him now. “…JJ.”
“What?”
“You’re being weird.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.”
He looks away, scratching the back of his neck. “You don’t think...” he starts, then stops.
You stare at him, and then it clicks. “Oh.”
Silence hangs between you for a second before you let out a small, almost disbelieving laugh. “You think I’m... pregnant?”
“I didn’t say that,” he says quickly. “I just— I mean— we don’t always use — you know...”
You raise an eyebrow. “Wow. Great explanation.”
He groans, dragging a hand down his face. “You know what I mean.”
You do. You lean back against the counter, crossing your arms as you stare at the floor. “I don’t know what that even feels like.”
“Yeah,” he mutters. “Me neither.”
You tilt your head a little. “I mean… it wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen.”
His eyes snap back to yours. “Yeah?” he asks, almost like he’s afraid of the answer.
You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips. “We’ve survived worse.”
That gets a breath of a laugh out of him. “Understatement of the century.”
You step closer, nudging his arm. “Hey.”
He looks at you.
“We’d figure it out.”
Something in his face shifts at that and he softens. Still nervous, but steadier. “Yeah... Yeah, we would.”
A while later, JJ leaves to go on watch duty a little earlier than usual and sees Rick standing by a car near the gate going over supplies with Daryl.
He lingers for a second before walking up, hands shoved in his pockets. “Hey.”
Rick looks up first. “Mornin’, JJ.”
Daryl glances over, giving him a short nod. “You’re here early.”
JJ nods, quiet for a second, then he leans in just a little, lowering his voice. “Hey, uh... if you guys are out today, you think you could… keep an eye out for somethin'?”
Rick’s tilts his head a little. “What is it?”
JJ hesitates for a second, mindlessly rolling a rock around under his boot. “A pregnancy test.”
Daryl’s eyebrows shoot up immediately. “You serious?”
JJ huffs a quiet breath out of his nose. “I don’t know yet.”
Daryl snorts. “Thought you were real confident about that pull out method, man.”
JJ shoots him a look. “Alright, don’t start.”
“I’m just sayin’,” Daryl mutters, a hint of a smirk tugging at his mouth.
JJ shakes his head, but he’s already looking back at Rick.
“I just... I got a feeling,” he admits, quieter now. “And if it is… I don’t wanna not know.”
Rick studies him for a moment, then his expression softens. “We’ll look.”
JJ nods, swallowing. “Thanks. A lot.”
Rick steps a little closer, lowering his voice. “Hey.”
JJ looks up.
“If that’s what this is… you’re in a good place for it,” Rick says. “Safer than anywhere we’ve been.”
JJ lets out a shaky breath.
“You’ve got people here. A whole community. And you and her...” Rick gives a small nod, “You’re good with Judith. Real good.”
That one hits. JJ’s jaw tightens slightly, eyes flicking down for a second.
“And you wouldn’t be alone,” Rick adds.
There’s a pause then JJ nods again, but this time it’s slower, and his eyes are a little glassy.
Daryl notices and steps forward, giving him a light smack on the shoulder. “Hey. Kid’d be lucky, y’know.”
JJ huffs out a weak laugh, blinking quickly. “Yeah, alright. Don’t make it weird.”
“Too late,” Daryl mutters, squeezing before dropping his hand.
Rick smiles a little. “We’ll bring one back if we find it.”
JJ nods again, clearing his throat. “Okay. Thanks. Seriously.”
The sun is beginning to set and JJ’s nearing the end of his watch shift, stomach twisting every time he thinks about you. Which has been pretty much every other thought.
He leans against the railing of the watch post, scanning the treeline for the hundredth time. Nothing moves except the wind.
His fingers drum against the wood when finally he sees Rick and Daryl’s car approaching. He opens the gate to let them in, heart suddenly beating a little faster.
A minute later, there's the soft thud of boots on the ladder behind him and JJ glances over his shoulder as Daryl climbs up. He straightens a little when he sees that he’s holding something. “Hey.”
Daryl grunts in response, pulling himself up onto the platform. He doesn’t say anything right away, just steps closer, then holds out a small rectangular box.
JJ’s breath catches. “You found one?”
Daryl nods. “Yeah. Pharmacy off the highway. Pretty much wiped clean other than that.”
JJ takes it with a shaky hand. “Thanks,” he mutters, voice a little tighter than he meant it to be. He turns the box over in his hands. “I’ve been thinkin’ about it all day,” he admits quietly. “Can’t—can’t really stop.”
“Yeah,” Daryl says. Simple, like he gets it.
JJ huffs out a breath, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know why I feel like this. I mean... we don’t even know yet, right?”
Daryl watches him for a second. “Ain’t about knowin’.”
JJ lets out a shaky laugh. “Yeah. Guess not.”
He looks down at the box again, thumb dragging along the edge. “I don’t wanna screw this up,” he says quietly. “If it is— I mean.”
Daryl’s expression shifts, just a little. “You ain’t.”
JJ shakes his head. “You don’t know that.”
Daryl pushes off the railing, stepping closer. “Yeah, I do.”
JJ looks up at him.
Daryl jerks his chin slightly. “Seen guys who would. You ain’t one of ‘em.”
That hits harder than JJ expects and his throat tightens a little. “You don’t know—”
“Kid,” Daryl cuts in, not harsh, just firm. “I know.”
JJ swallows, blinking a couple times, trying to play it off like it didn’t just get to him.
“Still scared,” he admits.
“Good,” Daryl says.
JJ frowns. “Good?”
“Means you give a damn.”
He huffs a small laugh at that, shaking his head. “Yeah.”
They stand there for a second, the quiet settling around them again as Daryl watches him.
JJ looks down at the box one more time. “I really appreciate it.”
Daryl shrugs. “No problem.”
JJ shifts on his feet, then without thinking steps forward and pulls Daryl into a hug, quick, tight and very unexpected.
Daryl goes completely still. “What’re you doin’?” he mutters.
JJ lets out a breath against his shoulder. “Just—shut up for a second.”
Daryl exhales and awkwardly pats JJ’s back before settling into it.
After Daryl leaves, JJ’s still standing there, staring at nothing in particular, the small box heavy in his pocket, when—
“Hey.”
He turns and looks down at the ladder. You’re climbing up toward him, a curious smile already on your face.
“You good?” you ask, pulling yourself onto the platform.
“Yeah,” he says automatically.
You dust your hands off, then glance over your shoulder toward the Daryl as he helps unload the car down below, smirking. “Why’d I just see you hugging Daryl?”
JJ freezes for half a second. “Wasn’t a hug,” he mutters, way too fast. “Was—like—a… moment.”
You blink at him, then giggle. “A moment? What?”
“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “He brought me somethin’ from the run. I appreciated it. Don’t make it weird.”
You squint at him, clearly not buying it for a second, then laugh. “Oh my god,” you tease, stepping closer. “You totally hugged him.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
You grin. “I’m telling everyone.”
“Don’t you dare.”
You laugh again, bumping your shoulder into his, then your smile softens just slightly as you look at him a little closer. At the way his jaw and shoulders are tight as he stares at the treeline, hands shaking faintly.
“JJ?”
“What?”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“No,” you say gently, reaching out and catching his wrist. “You’re shaking.”
He stills for a second, looking like he might brush it off again. But then he exhales slowly.
“Yeah,” he admits quietly. “I know.”
You tilt your head and brush your thumb along his hand. “What’s wrong?”
He pauses, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the box.
Your breath catches. “Oh.”
“I just... I figured we should probably know, right?”
You stare at it, your mind trying to catch up.
“I mean, it’s probably nothing,” he adds quickly. “Could be the food. Or stress. Or your sunburn. Or—whatever. But—” His voice softens. “I think you should take it. Just to make sure.”
You swallow, heart thudding. “Yeah, probably. Okay.”
JJ watches you carefully. “That ok? ...You ok?”
You let out a small breath, giving him a tiny, nervous smile. “We’ve handled worse.”
“Yeah,” he says, letting out a breathy laugh. “That we have.”
Every minute of the last half hour of his shift feels like an hour.
You sit beside him on the platform, head on his shoulder, both of you staring out at the trees like you’re actually paying attention.
When Cleo climbs up to switch with JJ, she immediately clocks the tension.
“Y’all good?” she asks, glancing between you.
“Yeah,” you both say at the same time.
She raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push it. “Alright then. Go. I got it.”
JJ nods, already standing, reaching for your hand. “Thanks.”
Back at the house, JJ shuts the bedroom door behind you. And for a second, neither of you moves.
“You okay?” he asks softly as he looks up you and sees you chewing on your bottom lip.
You nod, even though your heart’s racing. “Yeah.” You take the test from him, hands a little shaky now too. “I’ll—” you gesture vaguely toward the bathroom.
He nods. “Yeah. I’ll be— I'll be right here.”
The wait is unbearable. JJ paces the room, dragging a hand through his hair, then sitting, then standing again. Then he stares at the door like it might open faster if he looks hard enough.
When the door finally opens he freezes and holds his breath.
You stand there quietly, holding the test.
JJ’s heart drops straight into his stomach. “What?”
Your eyes meet his. “It’s positive.”
JJ just stares at you.
“What?” he breathes.
You let out a shaky laugh, like you don’t quite believe it either. “It’s— it’s positive.”
For a second, neither of you moves. Like the world just paused completely.
Then JJ lets out a breath that almost sounds like a laugh, his hands coming up to his head. “Holy—” He cuts himself off, pacing once, twice, then stopping in front of you again. “Okay— okay—” he says, nodding like he’s trying to convince himself everything's completely fine. “Alright.”
You’re smiling now, even though your eyes are glassy. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says quickly. “Yeah, we’re— we’re good. We’re good.”
You laugh softly, stepping closer. “JJ—”
“We’ve got a house. We’ve got people. We’ve got—” he gestures vaguely. “Walls. And food. And... stuff.”
You snort through the nerves. “Stuff.”
“And we’ve handled worse,” he adds, echoing you from earlier, his voice a little steadier now.
You nod. “We have.”
Then something shifts as JJ’s eyes drop to your stomach.
“That’s crazy,” he murmurs.
Your breath catches. “Yeah.”
He looks back up at you, something softer breaking through the nerves now. “We’re gonna have a baby.”
You let out a small, emotional laugh. “Yeah, JJ. We're gonna have a baby.”
You're both smiling now. The nerves are still there, but now there's something else tangled in.
Excitement. Disbelief.
“We made a person,” JJ says, shaking his head slightly.
You laugh again, stepping into him, your hands finding his shirt. “That’s insane.”
He lets out a breath, pulling you into him, holding you tight.
“We’re gonna be parents,” he says quietly.
You nod against his chest. “Yeah.”
There’s a pause. Then he pulls back just enough to look at you again, eyes a little brighter now. “We’re gonna be really good at it,” he says, almost to convince himself.
You smile, softer this time, fear dissappeaing a little when you hear the words leave his mouth. “I know.”
It’s only been two days since JJ found out and he still feels like he’s walking around in a dream he hasn’t woken up from yet.
Or maybe a nightmare.
Or maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
He still hasn’t figured out which.
He, John B, and Daryl move down the sidewalk of a quiet town on a run JJ doesn’t want to be on. He hates being this far away from you now. Hates it in a way that sits heavy in his chest and won’t go away. He doesn’t like not knowing if you’re okay, if you’re resting, if you’re feeling sick again, if something could happen and he wouldn’t be there.
He hates that he can’t protect both of you every second.
He’s trying to stay calm about it. Trying to be strong for you and for the baby he still can’t fully believe he helped create. But pushing the fear down and pretending he’s not scared has only made it worse. Now it just sits in his chest all the time, heavy and tight, like he’s waiting for something bad to happen.
JJ barely hears what John B is saying about canned food as they move to the next building. His mind has been somewhere else all day.
They clear another store, then move next door. Daryl stops in front of a big window covered in faded pictures of smiling babies and cribs.
A baby store.
Daryl bangs on the glass, then glances over his shoulder. “Might be stuff in there for Judith.”
Then he shoots JJ a look and it’s not obvious but JJ catches it immediately. He swallows and nods once. Daryl must figure he hasn’t told John B yet, because he doesn’t say anything else.
JJ decides that he's going to tell him once they're inside.
After a minute, one biter slowly shuffles into view and presses against the glass.
They go in, Daryl takes it out quickly, then they all stand there for a second, looking around.
“Split up,” Daryl mutters.
They nod and start moving through the aisles.
JJ runs his fingers along a rack of tiny clothes as he walks. He still feels weird. Tight in his chest. Like he can’t fully breathe.
A baby.
I’m gonna have a baby.
He stops when he sees a tiny denim jacket hanging on a rack. It’s small, worn denim with little metal buttons. The kind of thing JJ himself would’ve worn as a kid.
He picks it up slowly and he can suddenly picture it — a tiny kid running around Alexandria in this little jacket. Your kid.
His kid.
He smiles without realizing it then hears a quiet laugh from the end of the aisle. He looks up to see John B leaning on the shelf, smirking a little.
“You got baby fever or somethin’, dude?”
JJ opens his mouth to answer, but before he can, they hear a noise coming from the back room.
All three of them turn their heads toward the back of the store at the same time.
JJ sets the jacket down slowly and starts walking toward the door. John B and Daryl follow behind him.
“Just leave it, probably just a walker,” Daryl says, but JJ's already reaching for the handle.
When the door opens, a biter stumbles out immediately. A pregnant woman with a bite on her arm.
JJ's brows furrow as he looks at her. And for a split second, all he can see is you.
You scared.
You hurt.
You turning.
His vision blurs. The biter comes toward him and he pushes her back automatically, but he’s not really fighting, just weakly trying to push her back into the room.
She grabs his shirt sleeve, fingers curling into the fabric.
“JJ—” John B starts, confused.
Daryl looks between the biter and JJ, and then his expression changes slightly as he understands. He sends an arrow straight through her head and she drops.
Everything's quiet for a moment before John B exhales slowly. “Damn. That’s depressing.”
JJ just stares at the body on the floor. He feels like the room is spinning a little. Like all the air disappeared.
“Hey, you good man?” John B asks.
JJ doesn’t answer.
“JJ?”
His eyes are still locked on the body on the floor when he sees it. At first he thinks he imagined it. But then he sees it again — a small, slow movement under the woman’s shirt, her stomach shifting slightly, like something inside pushed against it. Like something is trying to get out.
His mouth goes dry instantly and a wave of nausea hits him so fast he thinks he might actually throw up. He takes a step back without realizing it, his shoulder hitting the wall behind him. The hallway suddenly feels way too small, way too hot.
He can’t stop seeing it. Can’t stop imagining you.
His breathing gets shallow and fast and he drags a hand over his face, trying to calm down, trying not to completely lose it in front of them.
“Just— give me a second,” he mutters.
John B walks over and puts a hand on his shoulder and immediately feels JJ shaking. “Hey. What’s goin’ on?”
JJ stares at the floor for a long moment, then finally says quietly “She’s pregnant.”
John B blinks. “What?”
He swallows. “Y/N. She’s pregnant.”
John B just stares at him for a second.
“Holy shit,” he says quietly. Then his face breaks into a small smile. “JJ… that’s— that’s huge.”
JJ just shakes his head, eyes starting to well up. “Yeah.”
John B studies his face. “You scared, buddy?”
He lets out a small, humorless laugh like that’s the dumbest question he's ever been asked. “Yeah, man. I’m scared.” He rubs his hands over his face. “It’s the end of the world. People die every day. What if we lose Alexandria? What if something happens to her? Or something happens to the baby?”
His voice gets tighter and tighter.
“And what if I turn into my dad?” he says finally, voice breaking. “What if I screw the kid up? What if I don’t know how to be… good?”
Now he’s really crying, trying to hide it, turning his head away.
John B doesn’t even hesitate — he pulls him into a tight hug immediately. “Hey. You listen to me. You could never be like your dad. Ever. I know you. I know your heart. That kid is gonna have the best dad in the world.”
JJ just stands there, breathing hard, trying to calm down.
Daryl steps a little closer, leaning on the doorframe. “You know my old man was like yours,” he says quietly. “Always made me think I’d turn out the same if I was in your place.”
JJ looks at him.
Daryl shrugs slightly. “But you ain’t him. You choose who you are.”
The room is quiet for a second before JJ wipes his face with his sleeve and nods a little, trying to pull himself together.
John B squeezes his shoulder. “You’re gonna be alright, man.”
“Yeah. I'm gonna be alright,” JJ says, putting it out into the universe even though he's not sure if he fully believes it just yet.
After a moment, John B nudges him lightly and says, softer now, “C’mon. Let’s go get some stuff for your kid.”
JJ looks at him, eyes still a little red, then nods slowly. “Yeah,” he says quietly. Then a small smile appears. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”
JJ gets back through the Alexandria gates just before sunset, dusty and exhausted and wired all at the same time. He barely says anything to anyone, just slings his backpack over his shoulder and heads straight for the house.
He takes the quickest shower of his life downstairs — in and out in what might be two minutes — then walks down the hall toward your room.
When he pushes the door open, you’re sitting on the bed, and the second you see him, your face lights up.
“JJ!”
You’re off the bed immediately, and he barely has time to close the door before you’re hugging him. He wraps his arms around you tight, lifting you slightly off the floor for a second, burying his face into your shoulder like he just needs to hold you for a minute.
“Hey,” he says softly. “Missed you.”
“I missed you too,” you say, squeezing him back.
He pulls away after a moment and looks at your face like he’s checking that you’re okay, really okay. Then he remembers and turns quickly, grabbing his backpack off the floor.
“Wait,” he says. “I got somethin’.”
You watch as he kneels by the bag and digs through it for a second before pulling something out and standing up again.
It’s a stuffed shark.
Your eyes go wide immediately and you put your hands over your mouth. “JJ… no way.”
It looks almost exactly like the stuffed shark he got you years ago for your birthday. The one you slept with every single night, the one he used to tease you about but secretly loved the fact that you always hugged it.
“I saw it and I had to get it,” he says, handing it to you. “Figured the kid should have one too.”
You take it from him and immediately hug it to your chest. “It's perfect.”
He smiles watching you, leaning back against the dresser. “We found a baby store. Got a bunch of stuff. Clothes, blankets, little shoes… I might’ve gone a little overboard.”
You laugh softly. “You? Overboard? Never.”
He rubs the back of his neck. “I also had to tell John B.”
You look up. “You told him?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Kinda freaked out a little on the run and he noticed.”
You walk over and wrap your arms around him again, pressing your face into his chest. “You okay?”
He nods, kissing the top of your head. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
He pauses for a second, then says, “We should tell everybody tonight. They’re all here.”
You look up at him. “Everybody?”
He nods. “Yeah. Feels wrong not tellin’ ‘em. They’re family.”
You smile. “Okay. We will.”
A little while later, everyone’s in the living room. They’re talking until JJ suddenly claps his hands once.
“Aight, everybody shut up for a second.”
Kiara squints at him. “Why are you talking like you’re about to make an announcement?”
JJ looks at you for a second, then back at them. He suddenly looks a little nervous, rubbing his hands together.
“We, uh… got somethin’ to tell y’all.”
John B shoots him an encouraging smile.
Sarah immediately smirks. “What, did you finally learn how to read cursive?”
JJ rolls his eyes. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”
Kiara leans forward. “Okay wait, what is it? Is this what I think it is?”
JJ hesitates for half a second, then puts his arm around your shoulders and pulls you closer to his side.
“We’re havin’ a baby.”
There’s a split second of silence.
Sarah laughs. “Wait, you’re pregnant?”
You and JJ don’t laugh.
Sarah’s smile slowly fades. “Wait… are you serious?”
You nod a little, suddenly nervous. “Yeah.”
Kiara’s eyes go huge. “No way.”
“A poguelette?” Cleo smiles.
Pope just stares at JJ. “Dude.”
Sarah suddenly gasps and jumps up. “Oh my God, you’re actually pregnant?!”
You start laughing a little because now everyone is talking at once.
Kiara and Cleo get up and immediately hugs you. “Oh my god, oh my god, this is crazy!”
Sarah hugs you next. “You’re gonna be a mom! I'm so excited for you!”
Pope stands up and walks over to JJ and just pulls him into a hug too. “You’re gonna be a dad, man. What the hell?!”
JJ laughs a little, hugging him back. “Yeah. Still tryin’ to figure that part out.”
John B squeezes the back of his neck and shakes him a little, smiling. “We’re all gonna be here for you man.”
Kiara looks at him and smirks. “I can already see the baby shotgunning bottles of milk.”
Sarah laughs. “That kid is gonna learn how to hotwire a car before it can walk.”
“Y’all are terrible. I’m gonna be a great dad.” JJ says, pointing at them. “But yeah, I will be teaching it to hotwire a car. It’s a good thing to know nowdays.”
You laugh and lean into him, and he wraps his arm around you automatically, his hand resting lightly on your stomach without even thinking about it. Like he’s already protecting it.
Everyone is still talking excitedly around you but JJ isn’t really listening anymore. He’s just looking down at you, then at your stomach, like he still can’t believe it’s real.
After a second, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.
“You know this kid’s gonna be so loved, right?” he murmurs quietly, mostly just to you.
You smile, looking up at him. “Yeah. I know.”
A Few Weeks Later
You’re both still in bed, warm, tangled in blankets, not really in any hurry to get up.
“What do you think we should name it?” you ask softly.
He doesn’t even hesitate. “I already told you.”
You squint at him. “What?”
“Daryl.”
You stare at him for a second. “I thought you were joking.”
He turns his head toward you, lips twitching up just a little. “I was.”
You smack his chest lightly and he laughs.
You think for a second, then say quietly “If it’s a girl… I really wanna name her Carmen.”
He looks at you for a second, then sits up a little suddenly. “That’s funny you say that.”
“Why?”
He reaches over to his nightstand, opens the drawer, and pulls out a folded, slightly crumpled piece of paper.
Your eyes widen and you smile over at him. “Is that a list?”
He shrugs a little. “Maybe.”
Your heart melts immediately. “You made a list?”
He hands it to you. “Don’t make fun of me.”
You smile excitedly as you unfold it. “I’m not gonna make fun of you, this might be the cutest thing you’ve ever done.”
You look down at the paper and see only one girl name.
Girl:
Carmen
You look up at him immediately, pointing at it, your expression soft. “You think so too?”
He shrugs again. “Yeah. I just… figured you'd like it.”
You smile at him. “I really do. She would too.”
Then you look at the next section of boy names and immediately start laughing, shaking your head. “Of course you put JJ first.”
He grins. “It had a ring to it.”
You laugh and then point at the paper. “Kildaire is actually really cute. Could call him Dare for short maybe?”
He nods and smiles wide. “That’s exactly what I was thinkin’.”
You smile, then look down again. “…Crash?”
He shrugs. “I just thought that’d be cool. Like Crash Bandicoot.”
You laugh and keep reading. “Beau…” you read slowly. “…Bo… Bojangles Biscuit???”
He immediately busts out laughing. “I was really hungry when I made the list.”
You’re laughing so hard now you can barely hold the paper. “It’s very North Carolina.”
He points at your stomach. “I’m callin’ the baby my little Bojangles biscuit no matter what we name it.”
You shake your head, still laughing, and keep reading.
“Finn… Bentley… Ryder…” You smile. “JJ, I actually love all of these.”
He smiles a little at that, looking weirdly proud of himself. “See? I’m good at this,” he says.
You fold the paper back up carefully and set it on the nightstand. “You're great at this.”
He smiles so hard his eyes crinkle then scoots down the bed until his head is near your stomach, lifting your shirt slightly and resting his chin gently there.
“Alright,” he says quietly, tapping your belly lightly. “Listen up, little Bojangles biscuit…”
You giggle and thread your hand through his hair immediately, full of so much love it almost hurts.
“I’m goin’ on a run today, and I’m gonna see what I can find for you.”
You’re giggling harder now as you watch him.
“I’m thinkin’,” he continues, counting on his fingers, “maybe another stuffed animal if I see one that ain’t too ugly. Uh… definitely something warm. Little socks. Babies wear socks, right?” He looks up at you for an answer.
You giggle. “Yes, JJ. Babies wear socks.”
“Alright, good. Socks are on the list.” He nods seriously, then looks back at your stomach. “And I’ll try to find somethin’ cool, alright? Not just baby stuff. You gotta have somethin’ cool.”
You’re laughing harder now, covering your mouth.
“What?” he says, looking back up.
“You’re ridiculous,” you say, still giggling.
He shrugs. “I’m just sayin', kid’s gonna have style. Can’t have my kid walkin’ around lookin’ like a freaking goober.”
You snort. “Your kid is absolutely gonna be a goober. 'Cause you're a goober.”
“Hey,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “Rude.”
He leans down and presses a soft kiss to your stomach anyway. “Don’t listen to her. You’re gonna be so cool. Just like your daddy.”
You’re still smiling when he scoots up the bed and leans over you, kissing you softly.
When he pulls back, you brush your fingers through his hair again and smile at him.
“You’re really cute, you know that?”
He squints at you a little. “Cute?”
“Yeah,” you nod, smiling. “And you’re gonna be a really good dad. I can’t wait.”
He looks at you for a second like that hit him somewhere deep, then he leans down and kisses you again, slower this time.
“I’m gonna try,” he murmurs.
“You don’t have to try,” you say softly. “You already are.”
This means the world to him. He presses another soft kiss to your lips then sighs and flops onto his back dramatically. “Alright, now I really gotta go on this run and find this kid some cool stuff.”
You laugh as he rolls out of bed and starts pulling his clothes on, still half sleepy, hair sticking up everywhere.
He grabs his backpack, then comes back over to the bed and leans down to kiss you again, quick but warm. Then he lifts the blanket a little and kisses your stomach too.
“Bye, baby,” he says softly, making your heart melt a little more.
“Please be safe,” you smile nervously as he starts toward the door.
“I will,” he says, glancing back at you. Then he grins a little. “Later, mamas.”
You laugh immediately. “Later, daddy.”
He stops walking and slowly turns around, the corner of his lips curling up a little.
“…What’d you just say?”
You’re trying not to laugh now. “Said later, daddy.”
He walks back over to the bed immediately like he has no choice in the matter and leans down, kissing you again, smiling against your mouth.
“Mmm, call me that again,” he murmurs.
You grin. “What? Daddy? You like that or something?”
He groans softly, dropping his forehead against yours. “You’re sayin’ that again when I get home tonight.”
You snort. “No I am not.”
“Come onnn,” he drags out, nudging your shoulder.
“Bye, JJ,” you laugh. “I’ll see you later.”
He shakes his head, still smiling as he backs toward the door. “Alright. Later, princess.”
He looks at you one more time before he leaves, still smiling a little.
And then he’s gone.
Later that morning, you’re sitting on a low wooden crate pulling small weeds from around the tomato plants in the garden while Kiara and Sarah work a few rows over.
Sarah has one hand on her lower back, the other resting absentmindedly on her stomach, and she keeps smiling to herself for no reason.
“You’re doing that thing again,” you tell her when you notice.
She looks up. “What thing?”
“You keep smiling at nothing.”
Kiara laughs from beside her. “She’s been doing that all morning.”
Sarah shakes her head but she’s still smiling. “I can’t help it.”
You smile too, soft and warm. “I get it.”
Kiara walks over and sits beside you on the crate, bumping her shoulder into yours. “I still can’t believe both of you are pregnant at the same time.”
Sarah groans dramatically. “Our kids are gonna grow up thinking the apocalypse is normal. That's so crazy.”
You laugh a little. “It is normal for them.”
Sarah looks at you then, softer. “We’re gonna be moms together.”
You nod slowly, looking down at your hands. “Yeah.”
Kiara leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “JJ is going to lose his mind when the baby is born.”
You smile immediately at that. “He already has. He talks to my stomach when he thinks I’m asleep.”
You laugh quietly. “He told the baby he’s gonna teach them how to fish and do push ups and climb trees and cheat at cards.”
Kiara snorts. “Yeah, that sounds like JJ.”
You smile... Then a sudden sharp pain hits your stomach.
You suck in a breath.
Sarah notices immediately. “You okay?”
You nod quickly, but another wave of pain hits harder this time and you grab the edge of the crate.
Kiara’s face changes and she places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey—”
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, but your voice sounds choked.
Then you feel it. Warm.
You look down and see blood soaking through your shorts. Your heart drops straight into your stomach.
“No,” you whisper.
Sarah stands immediately. “What?”
Kiara follows your eyes and her face goes pale. “Oh my god.”
Your hands start shaking. “No, no, no, no…”
Another pain hits and you double over, grabbing your stomach.
Sarah is next to you instantly. “Okay, we need to go. Right now. We’re going to Pope and Denise.”
Kiara grabs your other arm. “Come on, come on.”
You can barely walk between the pain and the panic and the tears that start falling before you even realize you’re crying.
“I don’t understand,” you keep saying. “I don’t understand.”
“It’s okay,” Sarah keeps saying, even though her voice is shaking. “It’s okay, we got you.”
They half walk, half carry you through Alexandria toward the infirmary. By the time you get there, you’re crying hard, bent forward, clutching your stomach.
Denise rushes over immediately. “What happened?”
Pope’s eyes widen when he sees the blood.
“I think—” Sarah says, voice breaking. “She’s pregnant—there’s a lot of blood—”
They get you onto a bed and everything feels like it’s moving too fast and too slow at the same time.
Pope and Denise are saying things, Kiara is holding your hand, Sarah is rubbing your hair back, but all you can think about is JJ.
“I want JJ,” you cry, voice breaking completely. “I just want JJ.”
Kiara squeezes your hand tighter. “He’ll come back. I'm sure he’ll be back soon.”
“I need him,” you sob.
Sarah is crying now too, standing beside the bed. “He’s gonna come back. He’s gonna come back, okay? You just breathe.”
Another wave of pain hits and you cry out, grabbing Kiara’s hand harder.
Denise’s voice is gentle but serious as she talks to you, but you can barely hear her over the sound of your own heart pounding and your own voice crying and the one thought repeating over and over in your head:
This isn’t happening.
This isn’t happening.
This isn’t happening.
But deep down, you already know.
It’s dark in the room when the door opens.
You’re sitting on the bed with your back against the wall, knees pulled to your chest, still in the same clothes from earlier. You haven’t really moved. Haven’t really talked. Kiara and Sarah had sat with you for a while, then Pope, then Denise, but now you’re alone.
You heard the gates open minutes earlier and know he’s back. You’ve just been sitting there waiting, staring at nothing, hands curled in the blanket. And as much as you’ve wanted him to be there, you’re terrified of his reaction. He was so excited.
The door opens fast, almost slamming into the wall.
“Y/N?” You hear JJ say, sounding completely panicked.
You look up immediately.
He’s standing in the doorway, breathing hard like he ran the entire way here, hair messy, face sweaty and dusty from the road. His eyes find you instantly, and the panic on his face shifts into something worse when he sees you sitting there, small and quiet and pale. He closes the door behind him quickly and walks toward you fast.
“Hey,” he says, voice softer now but shaky. “Hey, I’m here. I’m here.”
The second he sits on the bed you break. You don’t even say anything, you just grab onto him and start crying again, burying your face in his shoulder.
He wraps his arms around you immediately, tight.
“I’m sorry,” you keep saying through sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
His face crumples a little at that. “Hey—no, no, no, don’t say that,” he murmurs, holding the back of your head, pressing his cheek against your hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong. None of this is your fault.”
You cry harder, gripping his shirt in your fists. “I wanted it so bad,” you choke out. “We both did. I wanted our baby so bad.”
JJ swallows hard and you feel his chest shake a little under you.
“I know,” he says quietly, voice thick. “I know, baby. I know.”
He pulls you closer, one hand rubbing up and down your back slowly, over and over.
For a minute neither of you says anything. You just cry into his shoulder while he holds you as tight as he can. Then you feel something warm hit your hair. You pull back slightly and look at him.
His eyes are red and glassy, tears streaming down his cheeks and he quickly wipes his face with the back of his hand, like he doesn’t want you to see.
Your heart breaks all over again.
“You’re crying,” you whisper.
He lets out a shaky breath and looks down for a second before looking back at you. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Yeah, I am.”
You reach up and touch his face gently. “I’m sorry.”
He shakes his head immediately. “Stop saying that,” he says softly. “You got nothin’ to be sorry for.” His hand comes up and he brushes your hair back from your face, the same way he always does. “I’m just sad,” he admits quietly. “I was just thinkin’ about teaching the kid how to fish.”
That makes you cry again, but this time he’s crying too, pulling you into his chest again and resting his chin on your head.
“We’ll be okay,” he murmurs, even though his voice is breaking a little. “We’re gonna be okay. We still got each other.”
You nod against him, arms wrapped around his waist, holding onto him like he’s the only thing keeping you together.
“I just want a baby with you,” you whisper.
He closes his eyes tight at that, holding you a little tighter. “I know,” he says quietly. “Me too. I loved it so much. I still do.”
You nod weakly. “Me too. So much.”
You both just sit there on the bed, holding each other in the dark, not really talking anymore. Just sad and quiet and together.
“We can try again someday,” he says quietly.
“Yeah,” you whisper, but you don’t tell him that you’re not sure you want to try again, because you’re so tired of losing things you love.
warnings: reader is scared of storms, jj being soft, there’s more to the reason reader is scared of storms but that’ll come to light later on.
a/n: sorry for not updating this series for so long, i didn’t really have any motivation for it but it’s come back and last night i planned quite a few chapters!
Over the last however long it’s been living like this, it’s been so hot you couldn’t breathe, so cold you’d complained your fingers were going to fall off, so windy JJ couldn’t stop laughing at your hair and so rainy it felt like you’d had a shower. One thing you’d yet to encounter was a storm. You were sure there had been one, but sometimes you guys had been in basements for days on end, or slept for hours because you were exhausted from moving, you’d probably missed it.
You weren’t so lucky this time.
It must be near the end of November now and the air is chilly, JJ’s walking slightly ahead of you with his eyes peeled for any signs of danger. The sun is setting and it’s starting to look like you’re going to be spending the night in the woods, in a tent, great; your least favourite kind of night.
“You still awake back there?” JJ called, catching your attention. You nodded, giving him a small smile. Rain had started to gently fall and knowing your luck that meant it was about to start pissing it down. “Atta girl, we’ll set up ‘round here for the night. No point for us to keep movin’, ain’t any houses for a few miles I’d guess.”
“No scary cabins in the woods?” He’d made you spend a night in one of them once and you hadn’t had an ounce of sleep, too afraid that the deer head on the wall was going to come to life.
“JJ, that thing is looking at me!” “If you don’t shut your damn mouth and go to sleep—”
“Not tonight,” he replied, giving you an amused smile. “Ten more minutes, then we’ll set up. Can hear your stomach growlin’ from here.”
Things with you and JJ were good, something you’d have never thought possible back when this all started. Back when you were the bane of his existence. He laughed with you now, rather than at you. He teased you in a friendly way instead of genuinely trying to upset you. You didn’t want to think about the nights you’d spend sleeping on his chest, or the pet names he called you sweetly, that was a little too much for your brain right now.
You set up your camp deep in the woods, that was where he felt most safe for some reason. He wasn’t afraid of the geeks anymore, not really, he’d killed enough of them now to know the tactics; they weren’t a surprise. People, on the other than… people are spontaneous, and JJ doesn’t like that.
“Good?” He asked softly, watching you eat a can of soup he’d heated up over a small fire; it wouldn’t stay lit long with how the rain was looking; you’d never take heat for granted again.
“Five stars,” you replied, grinning at him.
“I’ll let the chef know.”
This was the time of day you were both the most relaxed, you didn’t have to walk, didn’t have to be on the lookout — for the most part — and you knew you were a day closer to finding John B. Everything was calm, until it wasn’t.
“It’s really comin’ down,” JJ complained as he finally finished setting the tent up, throwing the minimal amount of belongings the two of you had inside. “I’m not stayin’ out in this shit, guess we’re gonna have to pray no one tries to eat us tonight.”
He set up a few empty bottles, nowadays rain water was the easiest way to have a drink, and crawled into the tent. You followed close behind, grabbing the blanket to throw over yourselves. He was still going to try and stay awake, just incase, but you were out cold within minutes.
You would’ve slept peacefully until JJ woke you up, usually that was the next morning because he didn’t like making you go on watch when it was dark out, but unfortunately the world had other plans. A loud crack of thunder had you jumping up, almost smacking your head on JJ’s chin.
“Jesus!” He exclaimed in shock. “Gonna give a man a heart attack, kid.”
“What was that noise?” You asked, as if you’d imagined it, or maybe it had just been apart of your dream.
“Thunder, been goin’ on about half an hour,” JJ replied casually, as if it didn’t matter, as if that wasn’t the worst thing that could happen.
“What?” You squeak out, voice anxious and wavering.
“It’s alright, this tent seems pretty strong. One you’d probably own if Kooks ever went camping,” he teased. “Go back to sleep.”
You slowly lay back down, the sound of heavy rain smacking against the top of the tent. Just because things are good between you and JJ doesn’t mean you want him to know of your fear. You don’t want him to think of you as weak, it was one of the main reasons it took you so long to open about Rafe; and still now when he tries to bring it up you shrug him off.
Another beat of thunder, this time you can see a flash of light through the cracks in the tent and you yelp; covering your eyes with the blanket. JJ is silent for a moment, before gently he pulls it down from your face.
Surprisingly, he isn’t grinning like he’s just won the lottery, he doesn’t look ready to make a joke at your expense. No, instead, he’s looking down at you with soft eyes. “You scared of storms?”
“N—no,” you lie, it comes out weak and afraid.
“C’mere,” he instructs, opening up his arms for you to crawl into — it doesn’t take any convincing for you to do so. You hide your face in his chest and he strokes your back under your shirt. “It’s just a bit of noise, ain’t gonna hurt you.”
You know it’s not going to hurt you, that’s not what the issue is.
“You’re safe,” he continues softly, shifting you in his arms so you’re pretty much straddling his lap; face smushed into the crook of his neck. “You listenin’ to me?”
“Mhm hm,” you nod, voice muffled from his shoulder.
“Good girl,” he murmured back, pressing a kiss to your head; so fleeting you thought you’d imagined it. “Try go to sleep, okay? I’m right here, promise.”
You hadn’t been able to sleep through a storm for a while now, but you felt your eyes fluttering closed as he continued to soothingly run his hands over your back and through your hair. Every time there was a loud bang from outside his arms would tighten, shushing you softly.
“C’mon, ain’t far now.” JJ was in a bad mood today. You guys weren’t arguing, but it didn’t feel like you were the best of friends. For once, though, you knew that it wasn’t because of you that he was in such a foul mood. It was because today was John B’s birthday. JJ had been keeping track, maybe he’d hoped that he’d have found the brunette boy by now and they’d be able to celebrate together.
A couple nights ago he’d told you about what him and his best friend would usually get up to on birthdays. They’d go fishing early in the morning and then get utterly shit-faced for the rest of the day until one of them passed out. Today, he couldn’t do that; not even alone. It wasn’t safe to just get drunk anymore, it was hardly safe to close your eyes.
“My ankles hurting,” you admit quietly, not wanting to anger him more but giving a reason for why you were lacking behind.
He turned around, eyes softening. Since you’d opened up to him about your former relationship he’d gotten sweeter. He’d still make jabs at you the majority of the time, but now they felt more like friendly banter rather than irritation.
“When we get there you can sit down, okay? I’ll look around,” JJ promised. “Only about ten minutes more, can you make it?”
“Yeah, I can make it,” you murmured back, giving him a reassuring smile that didn’t reach your eyes.
When JJ was stressed, you were stressed. You were running low on food, and over the last few days you hadn’t had much luck on supply runs. The stores around here seemed to have all been ransacked, the most you could find were some stale donuts in a bakery.
“Atta girl,” he praised, slowing down his steps so you could catch up to him.
You found the row of stores soon enough, the area seemed empty; no geeks around to bother you. That should’ve been a red flag.
“Sit tight, you got your gun?” He asked as he got you seated on a bench inside a grocery store.
“Got it.”
“Good. If you need to, use it. If it’s somethin’ you can’t handle then scream and I’ll come runnin’,” he ordered. “Won’t go far.”
“‘Kay,” you replied, getting comfortable.
JJ disappeared around a corner and everything went quiet. You weren’t on edge, but you should have been. He’d told you countless times that you can’t ever let your guard down. There was some nail polish in front of you that caught your eye, you wandered over; leaving your gun on the bench as you let your eyes scatter over the multiple colours — it seemed now one else was that bothered about things like this anymore, leaving it all for you.
“Look what we’ve got here.” You froze. An unfamiliar voice came from behind you, a deep, man’s voice. “Turn around, let me see that pretty face.”
Slowly, your head turned. Three men stood there, guns in hand and smirks on their faces as if they’d just won the lottery. One of them let out a low whistle. “Damn, it’s our lucky day. You here alone, honey?”
You were about to say no, but you quickly changed your mind. If you told them about JJ then they may go try to find him, they may catch him off guard, they may hurt him. You’d rather let yourself be kidnapped by these men than have anything happen to JJ.
“Yes, I’m alone,” you replied quietly. “I don’t mean any harm. I’ll get out of your hair—”
“Not so fast,” one replied, interrupting you harshly. “Ain’t safe for a girl like you to be out here alone. Would probably be in all of our best interests if you came with us.”
“I’m okay, thankyou,” you said, voice wavering.
“Wasn’t a suggestion,” one of them grunts, stepping forward. His palm wraps around your forearm and he drags you into him, making you yelp.
“Please—” you whimper. You need to keep them here as long as possible, until JJ comes back.
“Hear that, she’s beggin’ for me,” he chuckles, turning to the other two who are smirking ear to ear.
The world ending has ruined humanity.
“Is that right?” You feel like God has answered your prayers as you hear JJ’s voice, followed by a cock of his gun. “Pretty sure she wants you to let her go.”
“Who the fuck are you?” The man holding onto you scoffs.
“Get off her,” JJ orders, stepping forward without hesitation. You don’t understand how he’s not afraid, you’re shaking from head to toe.
“Why should I?” His question was answered as a bullet was shot into his leg, the sound making you wince. He screamed in pain, hand leaving you.
“C’mere,” JJ quickly ushered; you ran over to him. He grabbed at you, cupping your face in his hands. “You hurt?”
You shook your head, tears in your eyes. “No. ‘M okay.”
“Fuck outta here!” JJ yelled, turning back to them with his gun held up.
“C’mon, c’mon.” They held up their bleeding friend and ran out the building, leaving you and JJ alone.
As soon as they were out of sight you burst into tears, JJ turned to you in a panic. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? You’re safe now, I’m here.”
“It was— was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention, was looking at the nail polish,” you admitted through your tears.
He shook his head, a fond look in his eyes. “It’s alright, kid. I’ve gotcha, won’t leave you alone again. We should get out of here, all that noise would have alerted somethin’.”
“Did you find any food?” You sniffle, wiping at your cheeks.
JJ smiled, swinging his backpack off his shoulder to show you the contents. It was packed with food. You shakily grinned at him, still sniffling. “More than enough. Grab some of that nail polish and let’s go.”
“What?” You didn’t think he’d let you get some.
“I mean, it nearly cost you your life so might as well make it worth it,” he shrugged, a cheeky smile on his face. “Go on, get a few.”
“Thanks, Jayj,” you whispered softly, scurrying over to the aisle to pick out your favourite colours.
warnings: idc that it’s january for them let me have fun, short lil cute one! kissing, kinda shy!reader but not really.
day 110. lake lovers
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
You hadn’t talked about the kiss, not explicitly, but yours and JJ’s relationship seemed to be growing by the minute. He had softened entirely in only a matter of days, that sharp tone that used to come out was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t shy about touching you either, a hand on your lower back as he helped you when you got tired, his arm around your waist when the two of you would cuddle up for bed and kisses. He kissed you in the morning, when you’d stop for a break, when it was too quiet for his liking. He kissed you all the time.
The kisses JJ gave you were nothing like anything you’d experienced. When you were with Rafe, you felt obliged to do that for him, to respond to the pucker of his lips. With JJ, you wanted it. You weren’t exactly ready to pounce on him yet, you were letting him lead, but that didn’t mean you wouldn’t be waiting giddily for the next time he’d pull you up against him and press his lips to yours.
“It’s way too fuckin’ cold to go in there,” JJ stated as the two of you stood near the edge to a little lake that you’d found on the map. He’d let you, for the first time ever, decide what direction to go.
The two of you needed a wash, whether he liked it or not.
“It’s not that cold,” you argued. “Deodorant can’t do everything, Jayj. Might as well get it over with now before it gets even colder.”
JJ grimaced, but that was quickly washed away with a look of astonishment as you started to strip off your clothes leaving you in just underwear. “Good God, woman. You can’t do that without giving me a warning!”
“You thought I’d go in my clothes?” You giggled.
“Well- no, but, Jesus. I’ve had dreams about this,” he smirked, making you playfully roll your eyes. “Fine. But I’m settin’ up a fire right after and I’m keepin’ my gun nearby. Just in case. Those fuckers can’t swim, can they?”
“Don’t think so,” you replied, already making your way down into the water. You yelped in surprise, the water was cold but it was somewhat nice to know you’d be clean — or as clean as you could be — after this.
“If I get hypothermia I’m blaming you,” JJ warned, throwing his own shirt over his head before moving down to his jeans.
Instead of getting in gracefully like you had, he decided to just jump right in; splashing you in the process. You screeched as the cold water hit you square in the face, he cackled like a mad man as he swam up to the surface.
“JJ!” You exclaimed.
“Shh,” he laughed, swimming over to you. He gently wiped the water from around your eyes, still stifling chuckles. “Sorry, baby. Didn’t think it’d make that much of a splash.”
Your irritation died down as his hands moved under your thighs and pulled them to rest around his waist, your arms snaked around his shoulders. He pressed a kiss to your jaw. “Not so bad, huh,” you murmured.
“No, not so bad,” he agreed softly. “It is fucking freezing though. And as much as I like being this close to you I was just kiddin’ about the hypothermia. I don’t really want that.”
You giggled, although you yourself were shivering in his arms. It was January after all. Not an ideal time to go for a swim in a lake, but you had to wash. You hesitated, eyes flickering to his lips. You wanted to so badly, but you didn’t have the confidence. That first kiss you’d shared was life or death, the adrenaline you had thinking he was gone had given you that boost of confidence. Now, you were safe. Both of you. And that was gone.
His words helped with your beating heart and slowly you leant down, lips hesitantly attaching to his. One of his hands looped around your waist to hold you tighter and he kissed you like he needed you to breathe. You smiled against his mouth and he did the same, forehead resting against yours.
You’d thought you’d been given some sort of karma when you got stuck with JJ at the beginning of all of this; now you’re pretty sure it’s an apology for everything you had to go through before.
———
please comment on the most recent chapter/message me if you want to be removed/added to the tag list :) : @lillell467 @hotvampdragongurl @jayjsbambi @mrrayjay @celestialreid @drpepperstan24 @jujubes888 @butchernat @kyoquixote
warnings: mentions of abuse, smoking weed, soft!jj, mentions of domestic violence.
apocalypse!jj masterlist.
day 37. real talk.
“Found some!” JJ called from the other room, causing your head to turn just as he walked in with two blankets tucked under his arm.
Ever since you’d gotten sick he’d started realising that you needed rest — both of you did. It wasn’t healthy to get only a couple hours sleep a night, and he’d never find John B if he ended up dead because he was too exhausted to defend himself. Tonight, you were staying in another home.
In a weird way, you sometimes preferred your nights outdoors. Ever since you’d found a tent, the nights would be more comfortable. Maybe another reason was because JJ would have to cuddle up to you for the both of you to squeeze in, but that wasn’t something you’d care to admit out loud.
Tonight’s home wasn’t as nice as the others, the bed — singular — had some stains that you didn’t want to sleep on; you were still a Kook girl at heart. Luckily, JJ had found some blankets that you could cover the bed sheets with. It was better than sleeping on the floor, as he’d said.
You watched as he threw the blanket over the bed, and then another one on top of that to be used as the duvet. He sat down on the mattress, raising an eyebrow at you as you still stayed sat on the wooden floor.
“Y’know, there’s probably spiders down there.” You jumped up as soon as the words left his mouth, making him chuckle.
“Asshole,” you murmured, a small smile on your face as you sat next to him on the bed.
“Yeah, yeah. C’mon, let me see your ankle.” It was routine by now, every night before bed he’d take a look at your still healing ankle. If you’d been able to stay in bed and let it heal it would have, but the world had ended and that wasn’t much of a choice anymore.
You kicked your shoes off, leaving them messily on the floor, and threw your leg over his lap. He rolled his eyes, but gently held your ankle and pulled your sock down to take a look. It was still slightly swollen, you should have gotten it looked at by a doctor when you injured it but at the time that wasn’t a possibility; it definitely isn’t now.
“It still hurtin’?” He asked quietly as he ran his finger over the bone.
“Not really.” You’d gotten used to the constant dull ache now — it was something you lived with.
“How’d you hurt it again?” He questioned, letting go of your foot as he laid back on his elbows; he didn’t push your leg off of his lap.
“Running from the geeks on the first day,” you murmured, running your fingers through your hair.
His eyebrows furrowed as he stared into your eyes, a look of confusion on his face. “Y’told me that you’d hurt it before the outbreak. I asked you when I found you by that dumpster.”
JJ watched the guilty look that crossed over your face, the nervousness in your eyes; it reminded him a hell of a lot of himself. Big John would ask him where he got that bruise on his cheek from? He’d ran into a door. Pope noticed the way he flinched when someone would make a sudden movement? Nah, he was just imagining things.
“You’re remembering wrong,” you muttered. You pulled your leg away from him and sat up properly, suddenly the bracelet you’d managed not to lose yet looked awfully interesting.
He didn’t say anything, just watched you in silence for a few moments as he tried to work out what was really going on. You were so… secretive. He’d been with you for over a month now and he hardly knew anything about you; anything he’d ask you’d just assume he was making fun, and most of the time he was, but now he was starting to wonder.
“You ever smoked before?” He asked, making you look over at him in surprise.
“Uh… yeah, a couple times. Why?”
In all the madness of the last month or so, he’d forgotten that on that first day he’d managed to snag his weed stash from his bedroom. Tonight was as good a night as ever to get high. Weed always loosens people up.
“It’s pretty strong,” he murmured as you took your first pull, the two of you sitting upright against the headboard.
You coughed, cringing at the taste as he gave you a lazy smirk and handed you the bottle of water. “This can’t be a good idea. What if something gets in and we’re knocked out?”
“We’ll be fine, Princess. Nothin’s getting through that door.” He’d barricaded the door off with a table, just incase.
“Still… it doesn’t feel right,” you mumbled, taking another hit nonetheless.
“Relax,” he ordered calmly, taking the joint from you to have his own share. “I’m here, a’ight? And I lived most of my life high, I can handle it.”
“Was that supposed to make me feel better?” You giggled. He smirked back at you, shrugging. “Also, who the hell decides to grab weed during an apocalypse?”
“Someone very, very clever,” he grins, taking another drag.
You pass the joint back and forth until it’s nothing but the roach, once the effects have hit you all your worries seem to fade out the window. You look over at JJ as he clears his throat.
“What happened to your ankle?” It’s suddenly clear why he got the idea to smoke. It wasn’t just for the sake of it; it was to relax you, it was to get the truth out of you.
“I already told you,” you argue with a sigh.
“You told me somethin’, I don’t think it was the truth,” JJ responded, sitting forward so that he was looking into your eyes. “Why can’t you tell me what happened?”
“It’s non of your business,” you spit back; already on defence. That’s not a sign of someone that’s got nothing to hide.
“Maybe not, but nowadays there ain’t a reason for secrets,” JJ shrugged. “My old man was real abusive, big alcoholic. I’m sure he wasn’t always like that, maybe when I was a kid, but most of the memories I have of him don’t make me feel very nostalgic, let’s put it like that.”
“Jayj—” you murmured through teary eyes. You already knew that, most people around the island knew what Luke Maybank was like. It didn’t stop you from feeling bad for JJ, the boy who’s putting his life on the line just to look after you.
“Tell me what happened to your ankle, baby,” JJ pleaded softly, cupping your face in his hands.
It didn’t matter how cruel he could be, because the moment he started being soft you’d turn into putty in his hands. “Rafe pushed me down the stairs.”
JJ let out a shaky exhale. He had a feeling it was to do with Rafe, but now he wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it. “On purpose?”
“I— he said it was an accident, but that’s what he said the other times, too,” you whispered back, a stray tear rolling down your cheek.
Three years of that relationship and you’d never even uttered the words; never even written them in your journal. Yet here you were, telling non other than JJ Maybank.
“The other times?” JJ’s jaw was clenched, but his hold on your face stayed gentle as he swiped away your tears.
“He was struggling, the last year or so. He— he’s not a bad guy, JJ, I swear. He just— he started doing coke, and he’s always had a real bad jealousy problem. I wasn’t careful with what I was doing, I antagonised him—” you started to ramble, your palms growing sweaty.
“Hey,” he interrupted, voice stern, “nothing you did deserves for him to hurt you. You hear me, sweetheart? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
John B had given him the speech multiple times, and he’d never once believed him. Yet, now, he was starting to. He knew for a fact that what Rafe did to you was not your fault, so maybe what Luke did to him wasn’t his either.
“Did you tell anyone?” JJ asked, moving to sit beside you. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and your head leant on his bicep. It felt less invasive if you weren’t looking into his eyes.
You shook your head. “I didn’t have anyone to tell.”
“What about your parents? Your friends?” He murmured, slowly starting to run his fingers through your hair.
“I didn’t see my parents much, not since I moved in with Rafe. Besides, they loved him. Mom was already planning the wedding,” you explained quietly. “As for friends… well, I didn’t really have any.”
JJ looked down at you in confusion. He’d seen you plenty of times out with your friends, at Keggers, when he was working at the Country Club. He’d been certain you were little miss popular.
“They were all Rafe’s friends. Any friend I had before I started dating him got sick of me bailing on plans, he didn’t like me going out without him so I didn’t. My only friend really was Sarah, but it’s not like I could have told her, she was his sister. And when she moved out I wasn’t allowed to see her again,” you explained, more tears running down your face. “Jesus, I thought weed was supposed to make you happy.”
“C’mere,” he murmured, opening his arms for you to fall into. It was the first time he’d given you a proper hug. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. You’re safe now, okay? He’s gone and I’m here, I’m your friend now.”
“You are?” You asked, looking up at him from where you laid on his chest.
“Yeah, yes, I am. I’m your friend and I’m always gonna protect you, okay?” He soothed, leaning down to kiss the top of your head.
“Okay,” you whispered back, giving him a small smile. “Do we have any spare snacks.”
He let out a chuckle, nodding his head. “I’m sure we can spare some. Mind out, I’ll grab ‘em.”
As watched you lay down on the bed and grin at him through teary, hooded eyes, he realised just how wrong he’d been about you. For years, he’d thought you were just some spoilt brat who didn’t care about anyone but herself. In reality, you’d just been an afraid girl who wanted a friend.
“You find anything useful?” JJ had gotten a little more comfortable with leaving you alone in parts of the stores when the two of you were on supply runs. He still got antsy, coming back to check on you every few minutes, but it was better than how things used to be.
“Just some candy bars and a box of paracetamol,” you reply, giving him a small smile.
“I mean, good for when one of us gets sick again,” he shrugged, trying to cheer you up.
Things had been a little more difficult lately, food was harder to find; JJ had started to have to hunt, your stomach churned every time. The world seemed to become even more empty. You were beginning to feel a little down in the dumps, and JJ had clocked on almost instantly. You still giggled at his jokes and rambled on about nothing, but the light in your eyes had started to fade — he didn’t like that.
“Well, I found some crackers that aren’t outta date yet and somethin’ a little more fun,” he smirked, arm wrapping around your shoulders as the two of you began to leave the store.
“What?” You looked at him nervously, knowing by now what he’s like. Fun for him and fun for you can be very different. He used to enjoy fishing and fixing cars whereas you liked getting your hair done and going shopping.
“Don’t look at me like that, ain’t got a pair of handcuffs.” Your cheeks lit up at his insinuation and he snorted. “Couple bottles of vodka were left lyin’ around, figured we earned it.”
“You want to get drunk?” You questioned. Last time he’d pulled a stunt like this was when you smoked together; that was just for him to find out what kind of life you’d really had. You didn’t trust it, and he could tell.
“Not for any reason other than to have a damn drink. I haven’t been sober for this long since the day I was born,” he joked, making you give him a look of pity. “Just think ‘bout it, got a few hours ‘till we’ll find a place to stay anyways.”
You thought on his plan for the walk, you thought about it when he set up a fire inside the home you’d decided to spend the night in, and you thought about it over dinner. It’s not like you didn’t enjoy a drink, but you liked fruity cocktails not straight vodka. But… he’s right, the two of you deserve to have a little fun and why can’t that fun involve booze?
“Alright, let’s get fucking drunk,” you sighed. He looked at you, grinning from ear to ear.
“Atta girl.”
It started of fun. JJ chuckling every time you cringed at the taste, you slowly getting tipsier and finding everything he said hilarious. He was half way through a story about his twelfth birthday, you weren’t sure how you’d got to this point but you had.
“And then, my old man decides that to make up for forgettin’ to buy a cake he’d get me a six pack. That’s the first time I ever got drunk, it was fuckin’ awesome—” he’s rambling on, but all you can focus on is that his dad didn’t get him a cake.
Every birthday you’d ever had was incredible. A stack of presents, a fancy cake, surrounded by friends and family. Even the last couple years, when you were with Rafe, you still adored your birthday. The thought of JJ not having that made your drunk little mind frown.
“That’s not right, Jayj,” you say softly, catching his attention.
He turns to look at you, tilting his head. “Huh? I mean, yeah, twelve year olds prolly shouldn’t drink but John B thought I was the coolest kid ever.”
“Not that, I mean, yes that, but I meant your dad. It’s not fair that you didn’t get a proper birthday from your dad, I’m sorry.” You thought you’d have another heart to heart, like when you’d opened up to him, maybe he’d do the same and you could finally begin to properly understand him.
That wasn’t the reaction you got.
“Jesus, kid, no need for all that,” he let out an uncomfortable laugh, looking anywhere but in your eyes.
“I was just saying—”
“Look, I don’t your pity, never have never will. My old man is my business, not yours. Don’t need your Kook ass tryin’ to understand what I went through because you never will,” he snapped.
He used the word ‘Kook’ as an insult, and maybe it shouldn’t have but it felt like a slap in the face. Like all the progress the two of you had made over the last few months had been erased. You blinked at him, eyes filling with tears.
“That’s not fair, JJ,” you croaked out. “I didn’t have it easy either.”
“Nah, maybe you didn’t, but you weren’t born into it. You had a family, had all the shit you could ever want, never had to work a damn day in your life. That’s why if I wasn’t here, you’d be dead by now,” JJ carried on, his words just getting meaner and meaner as he went.
“Stop,” you begged, tears now rolling down your cheeks.
“You’re a burden to me, you get that? You can’t even stand up on your own half the time with that fucked up ankle!” He exclaimed.
You stood up on wobbly legs, the alcohol going straight to your head as you started to leave.
“Where you goin’, Princess? You’re stuck with me now, unless you’ve got a death wish!” He yelled after you as you went into the other room and slammed the door behind you.
