Jan 11
he's a superstar!
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Malaysia
seen from Paraguay
seen from Yemen
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from Egypt
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Paraguay
he's a superstar!
Since I'm feeling in a silly mood tonight, I thought I'd share some memes the lovely @thefangirlwholiterallydies has created for Appetence 😂 I hope you guys can get a good laugh while I'm busy editing the next chapter! And of course, thank you Shey for putting a smile on my face 🥹💕
Appetence
Appetence (n.) - an eager desire, an instinctive inclination; an attraction or natural bond
Pairing: Choi San (Ateez) x Fem!Reader; Genre: Smut, Romance, Fluff, Slice of life, F2L, Humour, slight angst; Rating: 18+, nsfw, MDNI; Warnings: Alcohol, slightly intoxicated reader, a wet dream, curse words, shower sex, slight nipple play, dirty talk, pet name, teasing, unprotected sex (she uses the pill though), orgasm, slight creampie; Wordcount: 3.811
Summary: You and your best friend San are on a shared holiday, taking some days off of your regular lifes. He nearly passed out once he hit the bed but got wide awake again, the minute you announced you could see him from your shower in a fit of giggles.
A/N: This is part of the Kpop Intimacy Anthology Project.
“Have I ever told you that you’re a klutz?” San groaned and half carried and half dragged you along the hallways.
“Nooo, you loooove meeee.”
San grumbled something inaudible for you, though it didn’t really matter since you were quite intoxicated from one or a few drinks too much.
Earlier today the both of you arrived at the city and you decided to visit a bar celebrating the beginning of your shared holiday. And you did celebrate. A lot. Maybe, just maybe, even too much.
It was such a cute and rustical bar, almost the style of a mediaeval tavern and you just couldn’t help yourself but to take a shot after another, despite the lack of food in your stomach. Therefore it didn’t take you long to get wasted.
Thankfully your best friend insisted on you drinking glasses of water, once he noticed how far you were gone. He sighed but convinced you to leave the bar, before he ordered an uber that would take you to the hotel.
You had leaned against his shoulder, hugging his arm with a goofy grin. “I’m so happy we’re here.”
“At this bar?”
“Noooo, in this city. With you.”
“I’m happy too.” San grinned down towards you and leaned his head on yours.
“That’s good.”
Not long after your short exchange the uber arrived and brought you to the hotel. Throughout the whole ride you kept on hugging San’s arm and even in the hotel lobby you cling to him as if your life depended on it.
Every now and then you giggled while San had tried to do the check-in, smiling awkwardly whenever the receptionist glanced at your drunken form.
“It was one room?”
San had nodded quickly, wishing to finally get a room key and leave. He felt tired after he had to get up early in the morning, had to endure the general stress of travelling, had to look after you and had to make sure everything was according to your reservation. By now he only wanted to drop on a bed and rest for at least a few hours.
“Right, here are your room keys. You’re on the seventh floor, room 718, which is towards the left once you step out of the elevator.”
“Thank you.” San had bowed slightly before he grabbed the key cards and stuffed them into a pocket. He then grabbed both of your luggage in one hand and slung the other arm around your waist, pulling you towards the elevators.
“Can you stand on your own for a second?” San asked once both of you stood in front of room 718.
You nodded enthusiastically and stepped away from San, swaying a little but standing otherwise on your own.
San watched you a moment longer with narrowed eyes, before he deemed it safe enough to focus on the door. He quickly swiped one of the cards over the scanner and opened the door. “I’ll bring the luggage inside and come back to get you.”
You watched San carrying the two bags through the door and decided to follow him immediately after he vanished from your sight. You wobbled on your legs but managed to walk on your own and into the room. You closed the door behind you and walked further in.
“You could have told me you were able to walk.” San grumbled upon seeing you. “You’re heavy.”
“That’s not nice!”
San shrugged with his shoulder and walked over to the bed, flopping down on it instantly. “Please let me take a nap before we do anything again.”
“Okay.” A wicked grin appeared on your lips when you watched him getting comfortable on the bed. You tiptoed as best as you could manage in your drunken state towards the bed, your eyes never leaving his form and your grin only growing with each step you took.
“What are you doing?” San opened an eye again and stared at you with narrowed eyes.
“I just thought a nap is a great idea!”
“Really?”
You nodded eagerly. “Yeah!”
“Then why are you grinning like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like that! You’re up to something!”
“Oooohhh, can’t I just join my best friend on the bed to take a nap with him?” You jutted your lower lip out and looked at him with pleading eyes.
San rolled his and dropped his head back on the mattress. “Fine.”
You squealed in delight and leapt forward with wide spread arms. You landed square across San, laughing loudly and wiggling your body on his.
He groaned and tried shoving you away only to be met with a situation even more uncomfortable. For the both of you.
With an annoyed whine you rolled down from him and quickly scurried to his side, snuggling into his form.
“I hate you.”
“Nooooooo, you love me!”
San just scoffed and placed an arm over his face, trying to shield it from your vision.
You grinned dumbly and hugged him as tightly as you could. “I love you too.”
San tensed momentarily within your embrace before he exhaled in exhaustion. “And you’re drunk.” His voice almost sounded bitterly but you didn’t catch up on that, instead just giggling at his accusation. “Come here, brat”, he grumbled and pulled you against his chest, hugging you as well. “Take a nap now, we’ll talk once you’re sober again.”
“Mhm.” You yawned and pressed your face closer against San’s chest, his steady heartbeat slowly lulling you to sleep.
You loved being with San. He made you feel safe, he always gave you this tingling feeling in your stomach whenever you saw him, made your stomach do loopings when he smiled. He didn’t even have to smile at you. Just his smile in general and this cute little dimple in his cheek were enough for your own heart to melt.
He has always been with you. Through thick and thin. Through the bad times, even worse times and the good times. Actually whenever he was with you, you had the best times of your life.
You smiled and readjusted your position, inhaling a deep breath with his scent before you finally drifted off into your dreams:
San leaned above you with a smirk, both of his arms caging you in and giving you no chance of escape. His lower body was pressed on yours and despite being fully clothed you could feel the outline of his hardening dick.
You swallowed harshly, trying your everything to keep your eyes straight but before you knew it, they wandered down his chest.
“Eyes up here.”
Immediately your eyes snapped back up to his face, heat rising to your cheeks from the embarrassment of being caught.
“That’s my good girl.”
You squirmed underneath him, the name and indirect praise shooting pleasure through your whole body. Your skin prickled from the electricity and heat started to build up between your legs.
A small whine escaped your lips. You closed your eyes and leaned your head back, revealing your bare throat to him. “Please.”
When you opened your eyes again, you nearly choked on your own spit, seeing that neither you nor San had any clothes on. You whimpered. Your hand lifted almost automatically towards his chest. Your fingers gliding over the lines of his defined muscles, almost ghosting over his skin. You felt even hotter than before.
San lowered his torso while his eyes were still trained on your face. Once his face was only millimetres over yours, that smirk spread over his lips again. “I’ll make you mine”, he said with such a low voice, that sent shivers down your spine.
You woke up from tossing and turning in bed, as well as being uncomfortable hot. Your clothes and strands of your hair stuck to your skin from your own sweat. You groaned and looked to your side, seeing San still half asleep.
“Nap time isn’t over yet”, he mumbled, “at least not for me.” For a second he opened an eye and looked at you before he quickly shut it again and pretended to fall back to sleep.
You just hummed and set up on the mattress, moving a little away from San, to give him some space and not disturb him.
His voice during your dream still resounded in your mind, making you almost dizzy and definitely needy.
You bit down on your lower lip, glancing over to San, who was completely unaware of your struggles. You unconsciously rubbed your thighs together, searching for a little friction, but you stopped once you felt your panties sticking to you.
You huffed silently. The feeling of annoyance crawling into your thoughts. How come you were all worked up, while San could sleep next to you this peacefully. He might have draped a blanket over his lower body but he still seemed unaffected.
By now you desperately tried to occupy your mind with something else. You turned your head and took a closer look at the hotel room. There was this king sized bed in the middle of the room, though you had already expected that. After all, San and you had decided to lower the costs of the trip for both of you by sharing a room and bed. You were best friends and constantly spent the night at each other's home.
Next to the bed was a little room before a huge window front stretched over the wall, giving you a clear look at a wide river. At the entrance were two closets, one of them open and probably meant for jackets, scarfs and hats.
Opposite of you was a niche. Curious, you got out of bed and stepped closer. A glass door separated the main room from the bathroom.
“I’m taking a shower,” you announced loudly and stumbled through the glass door. You barely heard San’s grunt when the door closed behind you automatically.
In the middle of the bathroom stood the shower with glass walls around it, on one side of the room were two sinks and on the other side behind a non-transparent door was a toilet hidden.
You’ve never seen something like this and you were oddly fascinated with all of it. You stood between the glass shower and door to the room, your head turning from side to side with a prodding idea in your mind.
An idea that should have turned on any alarm inside your head for being still too intoxicated to actually have any good ideas. Though due to the same reason you didn’t have this alarm, instead you liked the idea more and more the longer you thought about it.
Why should you be the only one suffering and being so horny when you could tease San and make him the same mess you were.
You looked one more time over your shoulder, San being perfectly in your view. You took a deep breath and wet your lips before you started to undress yourself, while humming a low melody.
You tossed the clothes away once you got out of them, ignoring the mess you were creating. Hesitantly you stepped to the shower turning it on. You flinched a little when the first cold droplets from the shower head landed on your arm, though they turned warmer once you adjusted everything.
An appreciative hum rumbled through your chest when the warmth engulfed your whole body. You ran your fingers through your hair with another hum.
For a moment you forgot about your initial plan until you opened your eyes again. The glass had started to fog a little but you quickly wiped over the surface with your bare hand, seeing San still in the same position as before.
You giggled wickedly, imagining the reaction of him in your mind. “San”, you sang cutely, “this shower is amazing! It has such a nice view! Look!”
“How am I supposed to look when you’re showering? I won’t come..” Despite his complaint San sat up and looked towards the bathroom door, seeing you waving your hand enthusiastically inside of the shower. His eyes darted around quickly, taking in the fact that the walls towards the bathroom were out of glass. He leaned his head in his hands, sighing deeply. “Y/N, just how drunk are you? If you can see me, it means I can see you too!”
“I know.”
“I”, San hesitated, his head slowly rising and his eyes landing on you, “you know?”
A smirk appeared on your lips and you cocked an eyebrow teasingly. “Sure do.”
He closed his eyes, struggling with himself. He rubbed his hands over his thighs several times, rolled his head on his shoulders and exhaled loudly more than once. “Fuck, don’t let me regret this.”
You shivered, hearing his voice had dropped to a lower tone. You tried to appear unphased when San stood up and walked into the bathroom, almost ripping off his clothes and throwing them away.
Your eyes followed his every movement and you were thankful for standing underneath the shower, fearing you could start to drool any moment now. Giddily you stepped from one foot to the other, not being able to contain your excitement any longer.
San opened the shower and stepped inside, his back turned to you, making the anticipation inside of you soar even higher.
Despite that fact you didn’t dare to touch him just yet, instead waiting as patiently as you could. You had to admit though you really wanted to let your finger glide over his arms and to step closer to him, to press your chest against his back and place little kisses along his shoulders.
You watched his shoulders move up and down with his deep breaths. You nearly gave in, your hand slowly rising, but before you could touch him San whipped around and grabbed your wrist.
He slammed you against the wall, holding your wrist next to your head and pressing his body against yours. His dark eyes roamed over your face, stopping at your lips for a second longer than necessary.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” San growled, fixing your gaze with his. “To me?”
You slowly shook your head, without breaking eye contact. “No”, you whispered, “what am I doing to you?”
“You’re making me crazy.”
“Crazy?”
“So, so crazy for you.” He leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath again. “We’re not regretting this later on, are we?”
“I don’t know.”
San chuckled lowly. “That’s not really convincing.”
“But it’s honest.”
“Honest, huh. Is the alcohol still speaking for you?”
“I may have drunk a lot but I meant every word I said.”
“Shit.” San cursed and smashed his lips against yours. While one of his hands still held your wrist, he placed the other on your collarbone, splaying his fingers over your skin. He kissed you with a hunger that grew with every passing second, making him bolder as well.
You moaned into the kiss when his hand suddenly cupped your breast and his thumb rubbed over nipple. You arched your back and drew the attention of your mind to his hardened length pressed against you. “Please.” You didn’t know what exactly you were begging for, you just knew you wanted him. Your free hand glided through his dark locks, pulling him slowly closer.
San panted heavily when he leaned back. “What do you want?”
“You.”
He smirked, leaning closer to your ear. “What exactly, baby girl?”
A whimper escaped your lips. The nickname reminded you of your dream too much and made yourself even needier. “I want to feel you.”
San grabbed both your wrists and placed your hands on his chest. “You are feeling me.”
“Not like that”, you whined and swatted against his chest.
“Now, now, that’s not the behaviour of a good girl.”
Your eyes widened in shock and you immediately froze, wanting to show your good behaviour.
He cursed again and before you knew it he hooked his arms under your thighs and lifted you up.
You squealed and grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to balance yourself. It helped that San pressed you against the cold wall, making you gasp and arch your back even more.
With the slight distance between your upper bodies the water from the shower finally hit your body again. It felt almost cold against your hot skin. You hummed in delight. But it turned quickly into a moan when San moved his hips and rubbed his length against your entrance.
“I love that sound out of your pretty little mouth.” San leaned back to you, his lips ghosting over yours and slightly tickling you. “Make it again.” He thrusted his hips once more, smirking when you moaned again. “I’m not even inside you and you’re already so vocal. Makes me wonder what you’ll sound like.”
“How about we’ll find it out?”
San hesitated for a moment. “You sure?”
“Yes, please.”
He shifted your weight to one side, making sure he had a safe stance, and aligned his penis with your entrance. San slowly pushed inside you, waiting every few seconds before he continued. His muscles contracted every now and then, trying to restrain himself as much as possible. He grunted lowly when he bottomed you out. “Tell me when I can move.”
You nodded shortly, breathing through the new feeling. It didn’t hurt you. You just felt so full, which was a feeling you haven’t had in a long time. Your mind was clouded by lust and made every movement, no matter how small, more intense.
“Okay, try moving.”
San tightened his grip on you and thrusted his hips. Though his movements were controlled and slow, they hit you just right, making you moan loudly.
“Listen to you”, he grunted with a smirk, “that’s my girl. You’re so loud. We wouldn’t even hear, if a room service got here. You’d give them quite the show, getting fucked this good by me.”
You moaned again, hearing his words. Still, your mind forced you to say something. “If you just jinxed us”, you got interrupted by another moan, “if there’s really, ugh, someone coming, ah fuck, I’m going to scream.”
“Hopefully it’s my name by then.”
“Oh god, San!” You snorted and hit his shoulder without any force behind it.
“That’s right, but not good enough.” San turned off the shower and slipped out of you, making you whine slightly. He opened the door of the shower and held you tight, walking with you through the bathroom and back into the hotel room, where he tossed your body on the bed.
Before you could even react he crawled back over your body, his eyes roaming over every inch of your bare skin.
“You have no idea how often I have dreamt about this.”
You licked your lips teasingly. “What else have you dreamt of?”
“Do you really want to know, baby girl? I can show you.”
“Please.”
Once again a smirk appeared on his lips and the picture before you resembled your dream so much.
San carefully pushed himself back inside you, grunting upon feeling the friction of your tight walls.
Now that he didn’t have to be careful of not slipping and falling, his thrusts gained more power and made you almost delirious.
You arched your back, moaning and shivering in delight when San leaned down and sucked on one of your nipples. “Ah, San.”
He leaned back again and looked down to you, loving how you looked underneath him. Your wet hair splayed across the pillow, arms next to your head and your chest moving heavily from your erratic breathing. His gaze wandered down to the point where the both of you were connected.
San placed one hand on your lower stomach, pressing down just slightly, when he started to pound into you again. A satisfied grin appeared on his lips when he felt the tip of his length hitting his hand.
Through the pressure on your stomach you felt every thrust even more. You unconsciously arched your back again while your moans got higher and higher.
“That’s it. That’s my girl.”
“San, please.” Your mind went blank for a second and white noise filled your ears. A knot fueled with electric waves running through your body, built inside your lower stomach, right underneath San’s hand pressing down on you.
“I’m here! What do you need me to do?”
“Kiss me.”
San grinned and leaned back down to you, engulfing your lips with his.
You moaned against his soft skin and your hands wandered over his back, nails scratching his skin lightly.
“How can you be so adorable when I’m fucking you”, he whispered with a grin, kissing you over and over again.
“You aren’t so different from me. Such dirty words but oh so sweet kisses.”
Your eyes rolled back and your muscles started to contract uncontrollably. You could feel yourself tightening around his length which made him groan again.
He cursed once more, picking up speed with his thrusts again. San helped you through your high before his movements started to stutter and he came as well.
“We could shower all over again.” You giggled when he flopped down on you.
“Or we could just cuddle.”
You raised one hand and wove your fingers through his wet locks. “We could”, you agreed, “but I think we need dry sheets before that.”
San groaned and got up again. “You’re right. I’ll get those sheets and you can get cleaned up.” He quickly stole a kiss from you before he went to the bathroom and got himself dressed again. “Oh, and don’t forget to take your pill.”
“Yeah, thanks for reminding me, as usual.” You laughed and sat up yourself. “What would I do without you?”
He shrugged with his shoulders, buttoning his shirt again.
“San?” You watched him closely, his question from before coming back to your mind.
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.”
San grinned brightly and quickly walked up to you, cupping your face and kissing you. “I’ll do that as often as you want it,” he whispered between kisses. “That and even more cuddles than before.”
“I can work with that.”
“And sex as long as you’re up to it.”
You smirked slightly and ran a finger down his chest. “As long as it’s with you.”
San followed your finger with his eyes before he grabbed your wrist and looked back up again, his irises blown out wide. “You’re playing with fire, baby girl.”
“That’s the plan.”
San growled darkly, letting his head hang and taking a deep breath. “I hate you”, he whispered and pushed you back onto the mattress, “I really, really do.” He leaned over you and kissed you again while unbuttoning his shirt once more.
You laughed and copied your drunk voice: “Noooo, you love me!”
“Yeah”, he sighed, “I do love you.”
You smiled. “I love you too.”
© all rights reserved
Appetence
→ [1/7] of the Glossary Series
→ summary: Seokjin frowns, though you have an elated smile plastered on your face. For some reason, he doesn't like this Jimin. But you seem to love him a lot—enough to marry him—so Seokjin lets it slide. Still, he can't shake off that strange feeling that you're just like him, deep inside. Lonely.
→ pairing/rating: seokjin x reader | PG
→ genre: 98% mellow angst, 2% fluff | ghost!au
→ warnings: death, mentions of bruises and blood and physical abuse
→ wordcount: 3.4k
→ a/n: this is the poor baby cat that i’ll be referring to in the story 🥺my heart hurts every time i look at this
It's lonely to be dead.
The last thing Seokjin remembers before he projected out of his body was his doctor telling his brother that he wasn't going to make it. Ironic. Seokjin died before the doctor even finished his sentence.
He was confused at first, wondering why on earth he was still on the wretched planet. But after a while, he accepted his new see-through body. It's pretty cool to walk through walls, he supposes.
But now he has nothing to do. At first, Seokjin had wandered around his brother's house, but after a while, he realized that his presence made his brother shiver and teeth chatter violently. Apparently, turning into an invisible entity turns you cold. So for the good of his own brother's health, Seokjin leaves.
There's a large red maple tree that sits on an empty hill just a few miles away from his home. It becomes Seokjin's new home. Because he doesn't feel, he spends the winters, autumn, springs and summers there, leaning against the broad trunk of the tree and watching the grass sway in the breeze. When it snows, he always reaches out to catch a snowflake even though he knows it'll fall right through him. It's habitual. What he used to do when he was alive.
Autumn is the prettiest season for the red maple tree. The shaped leaves are colored a vivid red and boast a satisfying crunch when some little children flock around to play with their toys. But whenever Seokjin tries to play with them, the children shiver and run away. So now, when people visit the red maple tree, Seokjin hides.
He doesn't like it when they shiver like they're cold. Seokjin used to be a very warm person when he was alive. People wouldn't flock around him per se (he was a little shy), but the people who did know him loved him. Though he admits it's nice to be alone sometimes, Seokjin misses people. He misses having someone to talk to.
There's a stray cat that likes to slink around the red maple tree from time to time. It's a Persian with taupe colored fur. Except the fur gets darker and darker every time Seokjin sees the cat. He's starting to think the original fur color must've been white, but over time (and with the absence of an owner), the cat must've accumulated a lot of dirt on its fur.
Seokjin creatively names him Cat.
Cat is the only thing that seems to acknowledge Seokjin's presence in the world anymore. He likes to meow in a nice greeting and sit next to the ghost nearly every day. Though Cat doesn't talk, his companionship means the world to Seokjin. It makes Seokjin wish he could do more than stare lovingly at the cat. Maybe buy some food for it—Cat's abnormally skinny and there are patches of fur missing on his once-white coat. He wonders if it is bullied by the domestic cats around town. Sometimes the poor feline sneaks by Seokjin with some blood on its matted fur, but when Seokjin worriedly tries to get a closer look, Cat hisses. And he doesn't show up at the red maple tree until the day after a hard rain. When Cat comes back, there is no longer blood caked on his fur—only the remnants of a few scratches and bite marks.
Sadly—or maybe even fortunately—Cat is Seokjin's only friend now.
Until the day you come up the hill.
You've wrapped yourself up in a rather tattered shawl to defeat the cold autumn winds. Seokjin's never seen you before and you seem quite frail, but he thinks you look beautiful nonetheless. It's because you're smiling. And Seokjin doesn't know the reason but he doesn't need to know to see you be happy.
He hasn't felt happy in a very long time. It's always nice to see someone else be happy for him.
Seokjin watches as you sit down alone against the red maple tree and shiver. Self-conscious, he moves back from you.
If you're cold, you don't really show it. You continue smiling as you look up at the brilliant scarlet leaves of the maple tree.
"Beautiful tree..." Seokjin hears you mutter.
Your voice is beautiful. Sweet, light and brisk like the morning breeze. Seokjin's entranced by you immediately, but it hurts to know that you'll never be able to see him.
You sit against the tree for what seems like hours, just staring at the sky and humming little songs to yourself. Seokjin finds you lovely. Your company makes him feel less lonely, though you don't know you're keeping someone company, of course.
When Cat slinks by to rub adoringly against Seokjin's leg, you spot him too.
"Oh, a cat!"
Cat freezes and looks you up and down with scrutiny. He is on the verge of a very threatening hiss when you speak first.
"Aw, come on... I won't hurt you," you whisper, holding out your hand for the cat. "I don't have any food today... But maybe I can bring you some canned fish tomorrow...?"
Tomorrow? The sound of you coming back the next day is music to Seokjin's ears.
Cat seems to like you too. He slinks over to you and rubs against your legs. You giggle, reaching to softly pet his head. "I'm going to name you Minnie." Cat—now named Minnie—purrs. Seokjin has to admit that the name is way better than the one he had originally given the cat. "It's after my dear boyfriend," you laugh quietly. "But he doesn't really like animals, I don't think. He doesn't really like nature, either." You shrug, wrapping the shawl around your body once more. "But I do."
Minnie leans into your hand when you pet his head, making you giggle. "You're a stray cat, aren't you? I wish I could take you home..."
The cat purrs assertively as if saying, 'But this is my home.' Seokjin smiles. And he grins when you say:
"Oh, you live on this hill?"
It's as if you can understand Minnie.
"It's a good place to live," you smile. "I love the tree. Don't you?" Minnie purrs in agreement. He crawls onto your lap and decides he wants to rest there for hours. You let him stay.
Seokjin wishes he could hold Minnie too. But he feels just as content watching you do it for him.
When the ghost accidentally gets too close to you, you shiver, white air escaping from your mouth as you breathe out. But unlike normal people, you laugh. "It's like the wind's trying to talk to me!" you tell Minnie. "And it's friendly too. I can tell."
You reach out your hand, unknowingly going right through Seokjin's body. He smiles, shifting back so that your hand is touching his. There. Much better.
"People say this place is inhabited by demons," you whisper, pulling back your hand to pet Minnie when he begins to whine like a petulant child. "They say the tree creaks at weird hours of the day. And there's always this strange coldness that crawls up your spine. But this place is so... warm."
You look out to the sky where the sun's beginning to set. "I figure I'll get a lot of privacy around here, right?"
"...Right..." Seokjin laughs but he knows you can't hear him.
Minnie purrs in agreement.
Staring lovingly at the cat, you sigh. "I need to get home, Minnie... Jimin'll worry..." The cat jumps off your lap and looks behind his body to stare at you. "Don't give me that look," you giggle. "I said I'll come back tomorrow! And with food! Maybe the friendly spirits around here will be waiting for me too!"
And with that, you walk away from the hill, stopping along the way to look for four-leaf clovers. Seokjin watches you leave with a smile on his face.
For all of autumn, you come to the red maple hill every day. During the winter, when it's colder, you skip some days to 'replenish your warmth,' as you put it. Seokjin just counts the minutes until he can see you again.
But when the aroma of the blossoming petals filters the warm breeze, Seokjin realizes it's already spring. You visit more often now.
Minnie isn't as skinny as before—Seokjin would even go as far as to call the cat plump, but Minnie doesn't like to be subjected under such a word. But the best part of you strolling up to the red maple tree is not the food you bring Minnie (although the cat appreciates it). It is the stories you tell. The stories that you think no one but the cat listens to.
But Seokjin's there.
"Minnie," you sigh, sitting down as you hand the cat an opened can of sardines. You giggle as the cat immediately dips his head into his meal. "I had the best day today!"
Seokjin curiously peers from behind the tree.
"Oh! The spirit's here!" you exclaim, clapping your hands together.
You must've been born with a sixth sense. Over the months of which you spent your time on the little hill by yourself, you've somehow figured out that the tree was not haunted by demons but wandered by a single spirit. A spirit you've deemed as friendly from early on. But you only acknowledge his presence, never speaking to him. Seokjin doesn't mind. Acknowledgment is enough.
Tugging your shawl over your shoulders like always, you peer up at the crimson leaves of the maple tree that are just beginning to unfurl from their buds. "Jimin suggested we get married!"
Minnie ignores you but Seokjin claps politely. "Congratulations!" he tells you. But, of course, you can't hear him.
You stifle a laugh when you see that Minnie isn't reacting to your good news whatsoever. "Minnie," you urge, "I'm gonna get married!" Placing a hand on your stomach, you smile giddily. "And we're gonna be parents!"
That must be why you're getting married so quickly and quite frankly out of nowhere. You hardly talk about your boyfriend, now fiancé, and when you do, it's often with a sad look on your face.
"The wedding's gonna be really small, but it's a wedding nonetheless!" you say. "Jimin doesn't want anything too special. I just want something that's memorable..."
Seokjin notices that there's nothing on your ring finger though. As if sensing his thoughts you sigh. "Jimin says wedding rings are a social construct. They're expensive and useless."
Minnie stops his vigorous eating to stare at you. It's like he's telling you, 'That's utter bullshit!'
You giggle. "I mean... I guess I always wanted to seal off my engagement with a pretty ring, but I'm already lucky enough to have found a man who loves me..." you trail off, shaking your head. "Let's talk about something else," you tell the cat abruptly. "I'm going to tell you about the time I nearly drowned in the river trying to fish out Jimin's shoe. Don't ask how it got there."
Seokjin frowns, though you have an elated smile plastered on your face. For some reason, he doesn't like this Jimin. But you seem to love him a lot—enough to marry him—so Seokjin lets it slide.
Still, he can't shake off that strange feeling that you're just like him, deep inside.
Lonely.
When the sun begins to beat down on everyone and everything, the red maple tree becomes a refuge. It signals that summer has arrived. To battle the intense heat, you like to bring pretty patterned fans to fan yourself while wearing your rather thick shawl.
It seems as if you don't like to take it off.
Maybe it's a token. A story that you will tell one day.
You bring refrigerated water for Minnie, sipping cool lemonade yourself as you tell the cat summer love stories. Minnie doesn't mind the romance too much; in fact, he doesn't care. Seokjin does, however.
He thinks you make up lovely stories.
"Summer's going to love it up here," you smile, petting Minnie's head as the cat purrs in agreement. "Do you think Jimin will let me name the child Summer regardless of the gender?"
Minnie chirrups almost as if he's laughing at you. Which, you kind of deserve. You're not even showing yet, but you're already dead-set on naming the child Summer.
"I just love summer so much!" you defend yourself. You give the cat a dirty look. "I bet you do too, Minnie. You just don't wanna admit it."
Minnie lets out a little trill as if to say 'Don't judge me, woman.'
You laugh. "Okay, okay. I won't push it." Letting out a short sigh, you begin to fan yourself with your hands. "It's a bit warm today, isn't it, Minnie?"
Seokjin watches as the cat playfully tugs at your shawl.
"Should I take this off?"
Seokjin cocks his head.
Minnie meows and it's enough for you to giggle. "All right. I'm usually insecure about this. So you better not judge, okay? I trust you." The cat softly purrs, encouraging you further.
"All right..."
With that, you carefully and slowly take your shawl off, placing it on the grass next to you. You're wearing a summer dress that exposes your smooth skin to be sun-kissed, but Seokjin gasps when he notices purplish, hideous bruises across your shoulders and back.
Minnie yowls at you, standing up and staring worriedly at the welts on your body.
"I-I'm okay," you say hastily. "I promise."
"Oh..." Seokjin breathes. "I'm so sorry..." He wants to ask if Jimin did this to you. He wants you to know that you're safe with him. That he'll solace you and treat you the way you should be treated. But alas, you cannot hear him.
"They'll go away soon," you assure the cat.
Seokjin wonders if they'll be back... If the abuse you're facing at home will ever stop.
As the months pass, the more sickly you seem. You're starting to lose kilograms of weight, your face shrinking and looking more like a skull than anything else. If you were frail before, you were even more feeble now.
There are days you completely forget to come to the red maple tree and Seokjin has to take care of Minnie on his own. Other times, when you do come, you can't stay for long, making some dumb excuse that Jimin wants you back home early.
You always clutch your shawl tightly against your body no matter the weather.
On the days that you do come, you lean against the red maple tree and smile as you read from a book of poems while petting an occupied Minnie scarfing down cat food.
Seokjin notices something off about you these days. You smile, but it doesn't make your eyes sparkle like before.
Then, for a week, you don't come back to the hill. Seokjin waits for you every day. But you're nowhere to be seen. He even contemplates going to the village to find you, but it occurs to him that maybe you want privacy. Maybe you just want to stay home... You've been months pregnant now, anyways.
But when you finally show your face at the red maple tree, you look desolate. You've lost even more weight than before, and you even carry a blood-spotted handkerchief in your hands. Minnie softly meows to welcome you. But as soon as you see the cat, you smile through the tears welling up in your eyes.
"I lost Summer," you whisper, collapsing on your knees.
Seokjin wonders why you refuse to cry here.
"This is supposed to be my happy place," you sigh, caressing the verdant grass with your shaking hands. "I don't want to come here and be a stormy rain cloud now, do I?"
Minnie purrs, nudging his head against your lap. You giggle, but it turns into a violent coughing fit. You have to block your mouth with your handkerchief. When you're done, a new bloody splotch is added onto the once white cloth.
The cat looks at you worriedly.
"Oh..." Seokjin whispers, wanting to reach out and caress you. He wants to tell you that it's going to be okay. That he's sorry you lost your baby. And that he wants you to get better from whatever illness that's plaguing you.
"I-I... don't... I don't know if I can come here anymore..." you say hesitantly. "I'm... I'm not allowed to be outside..."
Minnie yowls.
"I know... I'm sorry, Minnie..." you apologize. "I'm going to get better though. I'll keep you company when I'm healthy. I promise."
Seokjin looks at your dull eyes and sickly features. It reminds him of how he had looked before he was forced to become a lonely creature on the planet. He yearns for you to get better. To enjoy the playful life that you deserve. Maybe you'll leave that Jimin and find a better man who won't restrict your adventurous side.
He wishes more than anything for you to be happy.
Likewise, in your head, you wish more than anything for you to seek happiness.
Then, you are gone. Just like that.
For months.
Every day, Seokjin wonders where you are. Maybe you've finally gotten better and the bruises on your body are healed and you no longer cough up blood. Maybe you've moved away from the madness. Maybe you've called off your engagement with Jimin...
Minnie stays by Seokjin's side, awaiting your supposed return. Neither of them gives up on you.
And one day, when the sun is beginning to rise from its nighttime slumber and is bringing home another autumn morning, Seokjin sees you.
You walk steadily, smiling.
Though you look ghastly, your skin shimmers in the morning light as you gently hum a familiar song. Minnie rushes out to greet you while Seokjin hides behind the red maple tree.
There is something about you... that seems different today.
"Minnie!" you laugh. That's when you catch sight of a shimmering man behind the tree. "Hello?" you call out.
Seokjin holds his breath—though it won't kill him again. Impossible. You can see him.
"H-Hello," he stutters.
You walk forward, towards the man as if you are in a trance. "I'm Y/N," you offer him an amicable smile.
Seokjin watches as you study his face, your own lips stretching wide as you greet him cordially. Y/N... The name sits comfortably in his head.
"Y/N..." Your name falls off his lips so naturally. You smile at him, nodding. "W-Well, I-I... I'm Seokjin..." he manages to say.
You haven't gained back your lost weight and your cheeks look even more hollowed out than before. But there's a sparkling glint in your eyes that you used to have.
Before he can even stop himself, Seokjin holds out his hand, making his palm face you. You giggle, placing the palm of your own hand against his.
Seokjin can't seem to breathe.
Your hand would've slot perfectly in his if he grasped it. But he can't bring himself to. The two of you stay with your palms touching and staring at each other's faces in silence.
It's then when Seokjin realizes you've become just like him.
If he had moved his hand just a little more forward, it would've gone right through yours. Seokjin doesn't know if you know yet... He can only hope that he doesn't have to break it upon you.
Your face is relaxed and your lips are parted just slightly. Then Seokjin notices the tears dripping down your face. When they hit the ground, they disappear. You don't seem to notice.
Seokjin bites his lip, wondering if he should say something—if he should welcome you to a new kind of life.
But you shake your head, smiling. "I apologize," you manage to speak. "I... don't know what's come over me."
"It's quite all right," Seokjin says. He means it. He'll cherish every second every moment he'll spend with you now. His heart is still but he can physically feel it beating loudly in his chest. He'll make sure the two of you are never lonely again.
You laugh politely. "Thank you..." you breathe. "I just..." You trail off, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand. "You just seem so familiar."
—masterpost
—masterlist
Do you write fem!harry ?
Hi dear Anon!
I do occasionally, one of my tomarry stories on ao3 features a fem!Harry professor at Hogwarts and I'm currently in the middle of writing a Cinderella AU with a fem!Harry.
I also have a WIP that consists solely of written letters that has a fem!Harry, too—I accumulate WIPs like others do collectibles so that isn't nearly everything, but who knows when I'll get around to actually writing them all^^
You can read the fic I mentioned here and all my update posts/snippets for that Cinderella AU are tagged as unnamed cinderella au, so if you want to take a look you should be able to find them! I'll put that tag on this post, too.
And hey, if you're looking for more fem!Harry stories, one that I cannot reccomend enough is Appetence by the lovely @elysian-drops which is still going strong at 60 chapters right now. The characterisation in this one is really on point and the writing is absolutely breathtaking!
Thank you for the question, and let me know if you liked my fic/elysian's!
So I’m having a hard few days. Living situation and family stuff. Making it hard to get in the writing headspace so I might not get a chance to update for a day or so. I’ll do my best to get back to it ASAP tho
Richonne smut...Rick and Michonne insomnia leads to a sweet and sexy encounter.
im gonna make a dedicated page for them on my blog once i manage to find and code the perfect layout for my tumblr but since ive been posting them for a bit. I think i should just introduce Detective Reed and his partner in crime solving, AM
Here's a lil summary of what's the project is about. Also the comic if you need a new thing to read. And their character sheet 😍