<G:> I don't see what you want me to do here– Hello everyone, this is doctor Gene at Iplier Facilities Hospital. Here we have patient.. you said your name was Illinois? Like.. the state? Illinois Jones. Patient is 30 years old, male, self employed as an ...archeologist slash adventurer?, lives on his own, single but married to the job?.., and enjoys high stakes adventure, researching, long walks on the beach, and maintaining appearances. Patient notes that he dislikes bees, being in the air, and being underwater. Due to unforeseen circumstances as a result of cave diving, Patient Illinois Jones is requesting a new adventuring partner. He has requested I make him a social media account.;
<G:> Patient says the gender applicants doesn't matter, long term adventuring partners must be over the age of 21, preferably not over 60, but if you're a grandparent with some serious adventuring spirit, he'll consider making exceptions. Applicants must be in suitable health, able to (or be willing to learn how to) walk, talk, run, climb, swim, breathe, use a map, act well under pressure, treat wounds, handle cursed objects, survive in the wilderness, use a compass, aim a gun, navigate traps, disarm a bomb, hide from enemies, blah blah blah... this list goes on forever. Once reviewed, potential applicants will be screened through trial adventures. All applicants must acknowledge risk of injury, becoming cursed, concussion, death, sickness, disability, radiation, drowning, being crushed, losing family, mosquitos, crocodile, being impaled, etc etc. all questions and applications will be handled by Illinois, and anything regarding visiting hours and patient health will be addressed by me.
Sincerely, Gene Sullivan of IFH;
(Patient has submitted a photo.)
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