#aprils journal

[aprils-arcadia]

Masterlist

Welcome to my Masterlist. It’s divided into Stories, Journaling and Fanfiction. I will update this list continuously and add the links to the still missing stories. 

Happy Reading! 

Goodbye Winter

Genre: Angst

Word Count: < 400

Summary: Taking a stroll through the park you remember and move on

A/N: Inspired by the song “Goodbye Winter” by Day6 

  The Witch’s Flower Shop

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: ~ 800

Summary: In your local flower shop you receive a very special flower. 

A/N: Written in memory of my local florist, who’s shop always felt magic to me.

Home

“Sometimes all you need to do is come home...“

 Autumn

“Autumn is like spring but without the allergies...”

 Quest for Magic

“I am on a quest to find magic...”

  Kindred Spirit

“Sometimes we meet people that just immediately become part of our lives...”

 Old vs. New

“I live with this dichotomy of interests that has always baffled me...”

 Simplicity 

“I feel like nowadays my generation longs for simplicity more than anything else...” 

 Roots

“Over the years her roots had grown deep and thick into the earth...” 

  Storytellers

“I come from a family of storytellers...”

  My Childhood

“My childhood tasted like the condensed milk with sugar from my father's cup of coffee or the freshly picked cherries from the tree that stood tall and proud in our own garden...“

Rearview Mirror

Member: Sungjin 

Genre: Fluff and a tiiiny bit of angst 

Word Count: 1,3k 

Summary: On a drive with his daughter Sungjin reminisces about the days he met his wife.

A Cure for Insomnia

Pairing: Sungjin x Reader 

Genre: Fluff 

Word Count: < 1k 

Summary: Lately you haven’t been able to sleep well cause the other side of the bed has been empty for too long.

Your Warmth

Pairing: Sunjin x Reader 

Genre: Fluff 

Word Count: 1,7k 

Summary: Sungjin goes to a concert he doesn't even enjoy only to have his evening go for the better by meeting you

Curiosity

Member: Dowoon

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: You had always been incredibly curious and now is finally the time to find out your dad’s biggest secret

Opportunity

Member: Wonpil

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,8k

Summary: On a rainy night Wonpil meets someone that helps him see the world a little differently

Wanderlust

Member: Young K

Genre: Angst

Word Count: < 1k

Summary: As she boards her plane, Younghyun has to face the reality of their relationship having ended.

Adventure

Member: Jae

Genre: Angst

Word Count:  ~ 1k

Summary: Sitting on the beach at night, Jae thinks about the life-changing decision he made.

Trust

Pairing: Sungin x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3,7k

Summary: You have been dating Sungjin for years now and he is still deadset on helping you overcome your fears.

A Weekend in Rome

Pairing: Kihyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,2k

Summary: Your business trip to Rome turned out completely different from what you’d imagined, as your attractive co-worker decided to accopany you.

Killjoy

Members: Kihyun, Changkyun, Shownu

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,5k

Summary: Once again Kihyun finds himself at the mercy of one of Changkyun’s drunk plans.

Denial

Members: Kihyun, Changkyun, Wonho

Genre: Fluff with a good deal of angst

Word Count: 4,9k

Summary: After your last relationship with Changkyun ended badly you are reluctant to give in to your feelings for your fellow freshman  at college Kihyun.

Sway

Member: Shownu

Genre: Angst

Word Count: < 1k

Summary: Nostalgia takes a hold of you, as you are spending the last hours with your childhood firend Shownu.

Home

Member: Kihyun

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Mentions of death, grief; loss of father

Summary: On the way to his father’s funeral, Kihyun’s son remebers the times they shared together.

By the River  

Member: Shownu 

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1,9k 

Summary: You watch the sunrise from your favorite place in your hometown, when you are suddenly interrupted by a handsome stranger.

~ Coming Soon ~ 

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My Childhood

Word Count: ~ 100

My childhood tasted like the condensed milk with sugar from my father's cup of coffee or the freshly picked cherries from the tree that stood tall and proud in our own garden.

It smelled like the sweet scent of the sunburned earth after a thunderstorm or the freshly mowed grass from our front yard.

It sounded like the waves steadily lapping against the shore or the soft guitar melody my father used to play. 

It looked like a sunset over the river or my mom dancing in the kitchen singing her favorite song.

But ultimately my childhood felt like warmth, comfort and love.

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Storytellers

Word Count: < 500

I come from a family of storytellers. 

I was born the child of a chronicler. His longing for knowledge and history passed down to me immediately. The folders upon folders that adorne his office, the stacks of dias showing a time way before my own and the books all tell you a story you never dreamed of. He connects me to my past, to my roots and my origin. His glasses perched upon his nose he seeks to impart his knowledge, to share and to educate. Drawing you in instead of boring you to death.

My brother is a fireside bard. His stories exaggerated and his gestures vast. He takes the smallest of story and turns it into an epic making you question both the legitimacy of his telling as well as yourself for enjoying it tremendously.

My cousin is a poet. Her head always in the clouds, her heart belonging to the sea but her feet still planted steadily on the ground, the sand between her toes. Uncertain of where to go but certain that she'll find a way. Her words hold meaning and her thoughts run deep. Her heart is filled with compassion and her soul is nothing short of beautiful.

But my family is not confined by the bounds of blood. For I have found people that I value just as much. Found them right when I needed to and not wanting to let go of them ever again.

The actor breathes life into other people’s stories, tells them vividly and excitedly. She takes you along for the ride without you doubting having left reality. On stage and in life she is an unstoppable force, captivating her audience and charming her way from scene to scene. 

And last but not least the writer. A kind soul at heart but often fierce in her writing. She ripped out my heart as much as she made it skip a beat with her writings. She carefully constructs worlds for you to get lost in, making you smile or cry along the way. 

But what about me you might ask. Well I've always been content to tell the stories of others, to read aloud the tales someone else imagined, to immerse myself in worlds concocted by others. Content to simply read, listen and maybe advise. I loved being told stories and I still deeply do. But the writer showed me that I myself have the power to create worlds, to elicit feelings, to show and tell. 

So now yes, I too am a storyteller.

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Roots

Word Count: < 200

Over the years her roots had grown deep and thick into the earth. Giving her the steady footing to tread through life with courage and strength. Seldomly to stumble over the rocks that littered her path. Whenever she left she could feel the longing. The desire to be back for her roots had grown thin and gave her no comfort.

But then one day she settled, started to build a new home and steadily her roots grew, happy to find another place to thrive. They were healthy and the ground nurtured them diligently but still they never quite compared. For every time she went back her old roots linked, connecting her deep into the ground and a joy coursed through her veins. This was home. This was where she belonged.

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Simplicity

Word Count: < 500

I feel like nowadays my generation longs for simplicity more than anything else. We were raised with certain expectations - that we could be anything we ever wanted. That we can put our mark on the world and be something great. All that has done to my generation is make us feel unworthy, pressured, indecisive and most of all anxious. How can you decide what you want to be when you are told there are no limits. How can you decide where to go when you can go wherever you want. I have come to despise these decisions and the pressure they put me under. It feels like no matter what decision you make, you can only go wrong. 

(I am fully aware that I am talking from an unbelievably privileged perspective. ) 

It is just overwhelming to say the least. That's why I come across so many posts wishing for a simpler life, about living in a small town, working in the nearby restaurant or whatever, have a non-demanding hobby and just be content. My generation takes pleasure in simplicity even though we were given everything. Because oftentimes simplicity is calming. What is probably perceived by many as boring can be comforting. To know you have a place to call your own, to have your life planned out to some degree and to just concentrate on living. 

We don't all want to leave our mark and let's be honest it's a bit much to ask for anyway. Sometimes we just want to live. Live a quiet and happy life. Because in the end all we really strive for is happiness. And some of us don't need a lot for that. 

Sometimes I wished my life was riddled less with choices. That it was clear what profession I would take up when I am older. But whether you have no choices or too many you will have to find your own balance. To find your own happiness. 

I know that in the end I would be content with a small town home, a close-by forest and a river, a dependable job and enough time to take care of myself and my relationships. A quiet place where I can be myself and explore who I want to become. A place where I can try and fail be it at art, writing, cooking or whatever comes to mind, without thinking that I need to be good enough at it. Without thinking that I can only create in order to achieve something. To prove myself in some way. Where failure is not holding me back or frowned upon but welcome. Where I can do these things for myself not because I am good at it or because I want to improve but just because I take pleasure in doing so. I don't need to save the world, I don't need to be the best at something. 

I just want to be. 

And if I am lucky I get to be happy.

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Old vs. New

Word Count: < 300

I live with this dichotomy of interests that has always baffled me. I am fascinated by the old as much as I am by the new. I could spend days in a library trailing my fingers across old books. Smelling the sweet vanilla scent of the old pages. I love to learn about our oldest civilisations, Mesopotamia or the Indus River Valley and Greek and Norse mythology alike. But mythology might be a different entry altogether. I think that we can learn so much by how the world was not only to not let history repeat itself but also to appreciate what was already there and put our own lives back into perspective. 

As much as I love ancient times and relics of the past I am amazed by the new. By scientific progress and technical advancement. By how we can push our boundaries to achieve goals that only few people dared to dream of. I could spend days in the headquarters of some company listening to the brightest mind talk about the future they want to build. I admire NASA for their work because believing that earth is the only thing that counts may be the most egocentric thing we can do. 

Science and history do not always have to be on opposite sides. There is so much science in our history and so much history in today’s science. 

[aprils-arcadia]

Kindred Spirit

Word Count: < 400

Sometimes we meet people that just immediately become part of our lives. No awkward dancing around each other at the beginning. No getting to know them casually over months. They are just there and intend to stay. You can never really recall what it was that made you friends. What hard work it might have taken because it came just as naturally as waking up every morning. There is no sorcery to it. Or maybe a lot. Your pick.

You suddenly feel like they have been there your whole life. That there was never a time when you did not know them. When their laugh was not present when you made a joke. When you could not see them raise their eyebrows at every questionable decision you made in your life. When you could not hear the worry and concern in their voice when you were trying your best to conceal how you felt. Because the connection you have at the moment just has to be because you've been friends for forever and not, as it is in reality, for only over two years. 

These kindred spirits are rare and hard to find but once you find them it is impossible to let them go. It’s not something as cheesy as a soulmate or not in the slightest as romantically charged. They are the friends you see taking care of your children on date night. The friends you imagine playing bridge with on the porch of a retirement home. The friends that you want to be there at every important point in your life and at all the tiny unimportant ones as well. 

Sometimes you might wonder where you would be now had they always been by your side. Wonder where they would be now had you’d been there for them earlier. But it's nonsense to wonder. Because now you can call them when you're down, you can be there for them when they have no one else to turn to. It doesn't matter what happened in the past but that whatever choices you made you ended up where you are now. And that you are grateful for all the tiny pieces that fit together to have them be part of your life.

[aprils-arcadia]

Quest for Magic

Word Count: < 400

I am on a quest to find magic. Well maybe rather a journey. There will be no real end, no definite reward. 

I am not looking for some make-believe magic. No fairytale come true. No fantasy book reincarnated. I am on a journey to find everyday magic. The magic that often goes overlooked. The kind of magic we forgot was there all along. You can call it whatever you like. Call it love, call it wonder, call it joy. I like to call it magic.

It's the moment when you just briefly see things differently. Realize how beautiful the world is around you. When you just suddenly stop your thought and appreciate what you have. 

It's the small things in this world that make me happy. How the swaying of the autumn leaves in the wind fill you with joy. How a normally bright-lit corridor can feel so much more eerie in a different light. How walking somewhere at the break of dawn fills you with a whole new sense of purpose. How seeing the star-lit sky makes you realize just how vast the world is and how small you and your problems are in comparison. How walking through shelves of old books makes you notice how old the world is and how young you truly are. How places can feel familiar even though we never were there before. How visiting a place you called your home for years now feels extraordinary. How nostalgia takes a hold of you walking paths you trod almost daily. How a playground at night makes you open up to the people around you. How much honesty and truth have been told there at night by people too old to visit playgrounds at day anymore. Sometimes I stop dead in my tracks and start to observe situations instead of experiencing them. See my friends around me laugh and fall in love with their laughter and compassion all over again. See the passion for things I can only dare to understand in the eyes of the one I love. See the depth that lies behind the tiniest gestures of the ones around me.

There is magic all around us. If we just dare to look.