Chapter Summary: Janus avoids his problems, Patton avoids his problems, and Janus starts a cuddle pile.
Ships: kinda hints at moceit.
Warnings: blood, illness, repression, disassociation, spiraling thoughts
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In Janus’s opinion, movie night went well. Patton was practically glued to his hip the whole time, and it felt wonderful. Before, everyone avoided touching him if they could help it. But now, there were cuddles. There were casual shoulder touches, gentle hair ruffles, and tightly clasped hands. There were good morning hugs and good night forehead kisses.
Was Janus touch starved? No, not at all, whatever gave you that idea?
Things were going well, Patton seemed to have accepted him whole-heartedly, and Roman was eager to talk to someone who understood Thomas’s “hopes and dreamy fantasies.”
But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t apprehensive about the others. Logan was smart, and Janus didn’t want him figuring out that “Dee” knew more then he should. As for Virgil… Things didn’t end well last time, and he didn’t want that to happen again. He had a second chance with Virgil here, but he was terrified he’d screw it up.
But alas, the others were more perceptive then he gave them credit for.
About two weeks after his “arrival” Virgil approached him while he was sitting on the couch, winding some yarn he’d found between his fingers. It was a beautiful shade, a deep green, and he wanted to try and make something out of it. He loved to crochet, not that anyone else knew that.
Right, Virgil was there too.
“Sure, what do you need?” He kept his tone even, not hinting at the nervousness he felt.
“It's just, maybe I’m imagining things, but, have you been avoiding me?”
He struggled to find something to say that wasn’t a lie. “It's complicated.” That worked. “I think I’m… apprehensive. I don’t want to say or do something that would upset you.” So far so good. “I just don’t want things to end badly.” At that, Virgil’s eyebrows rose and Janus realized he’d said too much.
“Sorry, just forget I ever said that, I’m goinguptomyroomurgentbuisnessandallthat-” He bolted, slamming the door shut behind him, collapsing on the bed as he coughed up another rose. The lie he’d told Virgil was sour on his tongue. He lay there, he wasn’t sure how long, contemplating. Disassociating. How would he make this work? Clearly he couldn’t just avoid the emo. And Janus really wanted a good relationship with him too. Was it inevitable that Janus would screw things up and it would end with blood and tears?
A tingling on his wrist broke him out of his spiral. He rolled up his sleeve to see one of the roses tattooed on his skin tremble, then bloom open. He pressed a hand to it, and saw Patton, curled up in bed, blanket wrapped tightly around his shoulders.
“You’re okay Patton. You’re just fine, that’s what they need. Just a happy pappy Patton.” Patton got up and looked in his own mirror, wiping tears from his eyes. “I’m just fine, nothing is wrong. I am having a great day, and everything is just fine.” The vision ended, and Janus looked at the flower. The edges of the petals were a light blue, just Patton’s color. So, those roses should be someone else’s lies. Interesting. He’d have to figure out what else the reset had done to him.
But more importantly, he needed to go comfort Patton. The real question was how. Patton was always trying to fix everything. He’d bake cookies if Roman was feeling down, he’d bring Logan blankets and tea when the logical side was overworking. He’d made a playlist of soothing songs for when Virgil was overwhelmed, and he’d given Janus plenty of cuddles. So how was he supposed to cheer up the cheering-upper?
The best idea Janus had was cuddles, but how to get Patton to accept them without feeling guilty? A little improv was his best bet, after all he always thought best on the fly.
He changed into his softest sweater, and went down the hall to Patton’s door. He rapped on it gently, calling out, “Hey Patton, are you in there?”
After a moment, the door creaked open to reveal Patton, eyes red but otherwise looking like his normal self. “Hey kiddo, what can I do for you?”
Well, here goes nothing. “I was feeling kinda overwhelmed earlier, do you think you’d be up for some cuddles?” He held his breath as he waited for Patton’s reply.
“Sure, kiddo, I’ll grab some blankets. Where too, scootaloo?” He giggled at the rhyme, and Patton’s grin was worth it all.
“How ‘bout the couch, then we could maybe watch a movie?” If they were in the living room, it was more likely the others would come through, and join them. More sides meant more comfort for Patton.
The plans made, they set off, and soon Janus and Patton were cuddled up on the couch, the opening credits for WALL-E playing. It wasn’t long before Roman joined them, claiming he heard Disney calling for him. Virgil joined them next, saying that if he could hear the movie anyway he might as well watch it. Logan was the last to join them, and only because Patton’s puppy-dog eyes were irresistible.
They watched Lilo and Stitch once WALL-E was done, and then Roman insisted on Howle’s Moving Castle. It was honestly a surprise, coming from the Disney-loving Prince, but Janus couldn’t deny it was a cinematic masterpiece.
Patton was asleep half-way through Lilo and Stitch, and Logan soon followed. Once they were out, Virgil turned to Janus questioningly.
“So, you don’t have to answer, but why were you two down here in the first place. I sensed some serious anxiety coming off of you, and I wanted to know if I overstepped earlier?”
“No, you were fine.” He’d pay for that with another rose later. “Patton just seemed upset, and I wanted to cheer him up, but if he knew that was what I was doing he’d insist he was fine. He does that often, doesn’t he?” Virgil nodded, and Janus untangled himself, making an excuse about needing to use the bathroom.
Once the door was safely locked, he hacked up two more roses. God, this new cure was annoying. He felt the anger roiling inside of him. Why couldn’t he catch a break? Why was he the only side with these stupid curses? Why couldn’t he just have a chance at a normal life, happy with the other sides, no secrets, no curses, no lies? He tore the roses, shredding the scarlet petals. He wanted to scream, to shatter the mirror. But no, that would ruin what happiness he did have. That thought dried his anger right up.
Numbly he cleaned up the petals, flushing the remnants of the roses down the toilet. He rinsed the blood from his mouth until he looked normal. Well, close enough anyway.
When he returned, Virgil and Roman were both asleep, the end credits rolling. He turned off the TV and climbed into the pile, snuggling back up against Patton. For tonight at least, he’d forget about curses and roses and green yarn, the same color as those eyes…
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