Could you talk more about male fairies please?
Ok in all honesty I was looking for an ask that wanted me to elaborate on body issues and male fairies following my post way back about Radius, but I was having more general thoughts anyway. I hope you don't mind.
Ever since the invention of sorcery, fairy magic has been stamped off as the more emotional magic art in contrast to rational sorcery. Emotions and rationality, two sides of a whole, have become juxtaposed and in turn associated with gender roles. Emotions are a feminine thing, while being rational was overtly masculine. Fey magic became a predominantly feminine art as less and less men/ masculine people took up the trade, out of fear of being ridiculed.
In modern times still, there are more sorceresses than there are male fairies: the bias against them just doesn't offer the kind of male bias in a female dominated field that we are used to in our world.
(The extreme ties to femininity also dissuades many gender non-conforming women from pursuing fey magic.)
Men who take up fey magic often have to deal with rumors about their claimed impotence, "small dick", or have their gender speculated about, with assumptions of them being closeted trans women.
This gets even harder when you add non-conventional bodies into the mix. Transformations represent an idealised body, covering blemishes and scars unless the user wields it so that it doesn't. Idealised in connection with femininity often means thin, fair and hairless, which is antithetical to how many men like to represent.
Then there is the issue of flight. Fairies are meant to present as graceful, gentle and loving (and lovable in turn); and people get so up in arms about it when this is applied to a fat body. It becomes the bumblebee paradox of little wings on a heavy body.
The term "bumblebee" for fat/chubby fairies actually stems from parents' kind words to their children: "The others may be wasps, but you are my darling little bumblebee". Many children found strength in these words until the "in" group caught wind of it and the term was used to pester and bully fat fey magic users, ridiculing them. (Some people do refer to themselves as bumblebee in reclamation of the word, but it's a matter of personality and how serious one takes oneself bc it does come off as youthful/childish).
So if plain acceptance is not possible, what else can fat magic users do? Conform? Fat people are already forced to perform their gender at a level of perfection beyond critique to be afforded dignity. In the case of fey magic this gets even more complicated for fat men since the art is entrenched in femininity and being effeminate is almost inextricably linked to being youthful, thin and waif-ish: essentially being the quintessential twink. It is no coincidence that gender non-conforming gay men often chose fey magic. But where does that leave fat men who need to present masculine in broader society, yet feminine in connection to their art?
There are certainly men who lean into masculinity wholly and eschew any connection to femininity. Others as said above are all for embracing their feminine side, but often those people are also effeminate in general. Again others see it as a performance (think drag). Gender expression is malleable and a craft that can be formed and re-formed as one needs. It is just a matter of personality, preference and self-confidence in detangling oneself from the societal expectations. Radius, simply by existing so self-unashamedly in such a high position of power has set new standards and became a role model for many young fey magic users, regardless of gender.