That anon made me think. What would you say about Sam's deeply buried kinks? Same premise. I'm curious to read your opinion.
hey haha hello I may be getting to this uhh criminally late but that’s how my inbox is anymore -- this was, I’m pretty sure, in ref to the post about Dean’s kinks that he’s embarrassed/worried to share with Sam. So, for Sam:
Would he be embarrassed to share kinks with Dean? I think the answer is yes, but it’s a... different yes. Maybe more like this:
I’m just gonna rewrite the first paragraph of the Dean post:
–that being said, obviously this depends on how you characterize your Sam-who-is-sleeping-with-Dean. (I assume that’s the context of this, and it’s not, like, actual Show Canon!Sam who’s just chatting away with Dean about his kinks. That dude would also probably not share some of his real kinks, but would evade the topic and make the conversation more about Dean’s goofy admitted kinks, to try to torture his annoying big brother.)
But absolutely, absolutely, absolutely Sam has some weird shit going on in the ol’ mind palace that he probably doesn’t let see the light of day, a lot of the time. Sam’s had a really interesting long-form character development over the course of the show--and he’s actually changed quite a bit from the sort of angry young fool of s1 to the hypermature (if sorta spineless) wise man of s15. This makes it really crucial to pinpoint the when of the Sam you’re dealing with--what’s his canon context? What is he working through, in the moment that you’re writing him? What are his concerns and hang-ups and issues, that would carry over into the bedroom?
That’s why there are a lot more question marks in the yes for Sam than there are for Dean. Dean, for all that he’s acquired a shitload of depth over fifteen years, is... largely the same guy he was when we met him, back when. Sam’s absolutely, demonstrably not. Sure, his various selves have a lot in common, but boy have there been some revelations along the way
All of which is to say: fam, it depends.
The Sam I most like writing is the guy he is as of roughly s9-12: adult, confident, knowing what he wants, understanding his craziness with Dean and largely accepting it, in charge of his life and relatively at peace with himself. Even with all that, though, Sam lives a life largely interiorized. Dean’s the one who spills personality everywhere; Sam, probably at least partially in self-defense, keeps stuff locked inside. We didn’t even find out about his serial killer hobby until s10. What else is knocking around in that massive brain of his, that he’d be cautious about letting out?
To be honest, you could kind of make an argument for... anything. Is he a sadist? He easily could be. Is he a masochist? Sure, that’s possible. Does he want to tie Dean up and have his wicked way? I’d buy it. Does he want to be blindfolded and have his ears plugged and completely lose all connection with the world, so that he can get some quiet at last? Absolutely! Why not?
I prefer to write Sam as sort of... naturally in control of the relationship with Dean (which has plenty of canon support, if you’re looking, but I don’t feel like providing citations right now), and so the sorts of ‘deeply buried kinks’ I like to pair with that involve both the assertion of that control and the times that control bursts out of his hands and he goes Vesuvius, as we used to say. Sam who actually does have a tiny bit of a kink for causing pain, and more than that seeing the look in Dean’s eyes when *Dean* realizes that Sam’s getting off on it. That moment of strange, norm-breaking thrill. A moment where Sam gets to fully indulge in his strength and masculinity and absolutely rail someone, when normally he’s so careful and polite--hip-bruising, turnt-out sex, where he’s left panting and hot-faced afterward and absolutely doesn’t want to apologize. Handcuffing Dean and putting a folded-up scarf over his eyes and then doing exactly what he wants, which is to make Dean come apart over and over until he’s crying, but Dean’s mind is wiped free of all the nasty shit that it dredges up for him on dark nights and Sam knows, when he releases the cuffs, that Dean will just curl up against Sam’s chest and sleep hard and dreamless, which is all Sam wanted for him in the first place--
But of course, that’s different in s3. In s14. Pre-series, when everything was so hot-eyed uncertain; post-series, when (hopefully) they’ll have long, sweet, married years to figure each other out. Sam holds everything tight up inside himself, but the great thing about it is--no matter what he says, even if Dean freaks out about it at first or if Dean doesn’t get it, Dean eventually accepts it. Shit, Dean was willing to cover up Sam’s murders. Dean was willing to help Sam with his freaky demon powers. If Sam says he wants to cut Dean with fine razors and watch the blood leak down his thighs, Dean will probably flip and will disappear from the bunker for a day or two, and then he’ll come stomping back with flechettes and hydrogen peroxide and he’ll be super serious when he says that it’s just this once, for Sam’s birthday, and then if Sam wants it again Dean will do it then, too, and forget the ‘just once’ rule.
That’s the thing. No matter how deeply buried, no matter how weird, it’ll work, between the two of them. They just... work. How lucky for them, that that’s so.
