I took a step back from system stuff to self-reflect on my (pretty sure our, at this point) experiences and when i came back your blog was gone and it was all a mess.
At first i wasn't really sure how i felt about the One Post TM you made before making these new blogs, but tbh? I think you're trying to do better in general, and that's good. You don't deserve the harassment you get for phrasing things badly or genuinely making a mistake. Accountability is important! And you're taking it. We all stick our foot in it sometimes, intentionally or not. Nobody deserves to get harassment for growing.
So i want to continue sending little love anons, ig. I want to thank you for being a positive presence in these spaces despite the negativity you always seem to get. That's not fair and i'm so sorry.
I hope you get nice things coming your way soon. Please apply the kindness you have for others to yourself, alright? You deserve it. Take care!!
-Aria
(PS: hope i didn't word any of that weird! It's meant to be supportive i'm just bad at talking sometimes. Bye!!)
Thank you so much!! I’ve missed your lovely anonymous messages.
I’ve been feeling a lot better since I changed around my blogs. I no longer feel as if I need to respond to every single person who has an issue with me. Often, they will never agree with me, and it’s not my fault. My therapist has also been working with me a lot on placing blame, and how that’s not conductive to a healthier life for me.
That post was controversial, and honestly, I’m glad I distanced myself from it. I don’t know how much I agree with anything on MotCR now, but I haven’t really looked back. I’m enjoying my plans for this blog, though. I’ve been working on some posts about littles, insys dating, and what the word “normal” means - none of those things being things I see mentioned in syscourse usually. Everyone’s so busy fighting. I just wanna talk about topics people sometimes get upset over and discuss why.
I try to hold myself accountable, and I do appreciate those who calmly explained how I was in the wrong, and I appreciate those who blocked me for their health. I think that’s the biggest change I’ve done - my blocklist is enormous now. Before, I tried to never block unless I let my anger get the best of me. Now I block, and my anger DOESNT get the best of me (usually). It’s a very different mindset!
Time stuck au but it’s Pacifica meeting the Anti-Cipher society. And she is becoming Abigale’s apprentice in engineering.
I thought I DELETED THIS ASK but I DIDNT it was just HIDDEN FOR SOME REASON! anyway this idea has captivated me, I have yet to draw Pac with the whole society (I WILL) but here’s some doodles of her and Abbey!!
Click for Quality!
Also some extra musings under the cut…..
The Northwests travel to Illinois one holiday. Pacifica takes some time off from her insufferable parents to find someplace worth visiting. Unfortunately, it seems like nothing in Illinois is worth visiting. She eventually finds herself at 333 North East West Drive, a functionally abandoned historical building, “For Rent” sign collecting dust in its windows. Something catches her eye on the ground - what looks to be a normal tape measurer. I say “looks to be,” because it is in fact a TIME tape-measurer, albeit a half-broken one.
Pacifica ends up in 1901 using the half-broken time tape measurer and manages to break it completely. Luckily for her, Abigale finds her and agrees to help fix it… and teach Pacifica some mechanical know-how in the process!
Abigale doesn’t know that she’s Pacifica’s ancestor. Pacifica is pretty certain Abigale Blackwing is Abigale Northwest, but doesn’t say anything because Abigale Northwest was always considered a bit of a stain on the family, half-buried by history. Pacifica doesn’t want to let Abigale know she’s been erased, and honestly, is still a little bought-in to her family’s philosophy of sweeping “unsavory” people or things under the rug at this point.
Pacifica is actually pretty damn good at mechanics! She takes a second to get a hang of it, but once she grasps the basics she learns the rest shockingly quick. Abigale is so proud.
Pacifica actually helps enable some semblance of workshop-safety in the society, what with her modern knowledge that lead, mercury, and arsenic are all deadly toxins that you shouldn’t be putting in “anti-cipher tonic” to guzzle and/or rub on your skin.
The rest of the society LOVE Pacifica. That’s their collective daughter now.
Jessamine teaches her how to shoot! Pacifica isn’t a very good natural aim, but Jessie is patient and knows skill comes with practice.
Horace is so charmed by her, he really takes up a sort of father figure. He would mow down entire countries for this kid. Pacifica doesn’t know how to take Horace at first, since she’s so used to her real dad sucking ass, but she becomes close with him fast!
Thurburt is SO her silly weird uncle. Thurburt was always a clumsy, accident-prone fool, but somehow around Pacifica he becomes even more slapstickly-inclined. Pacifica thinks he’s doing it on purpose to get a laugh out of her. He is. It always works.
Even O’Pimm, the crotchety old drunk that he is, gets a kick out of her! He likes her honesty. If Pac thinks something’s daft or dull, she’ll say it. O’Pimm is glad to not be the ONLY one with sense around the society anymore.
And of course, it goes without saying that Abigale ADORES Pac. Abigale never wanted to be a mother, but teaching Pacifica the ropes of engineering and working her through her problems made her reconsider that thought.
Pacifica actually manages to fix the time tape measurer all on her own one night. It takes 2 weeks for her to finally tell the society. She almost doesn’t want to leave.
Abigale was the one to convince her to go home. “The future needs you, Pacifica. It needs brilliant, talented girls like you. You’ve got people waiting on you, but more than that, you’ve got a whole WORLD waiting for you! Live your life, Pacifica, your story doesn’t end in this time. Promise me you’ll make some change in that future of yours, rather than feel trapped in the past with us…”
Pacifica is a lot different when she returns. She’s suddenly way into tinkering, something she keeps secret from her family. She’s also a lot happier, and a lot less concerned about mistakes (though she’s more worried when her parents are in eye or earshot…)
Pacifica starts to really get interested in the story of Abigale Northwest. She unearths a lot of hidden secrets about her life. Most of it isn’t good, especially now. At least Pacifica knows the truth, now. (I have a VERY specific idea as to how Abbey’s life was after the society disbanded and it is NOT pretty. Link for most of it here)
She wishes Abigale could have had her happy ending. She wonders if she had stayed behind, could she have changed things? She considered using the time tape measurer to go back more times then she’d like to admit. But she made a promise, didn’t she? Her job is here in the future, not stuck in the past…
