#aro help

[aro-confessional]

Hello, we are aro confessional. This is our intro post.

We made this blog because we noticed the criminal lack of aro centric spaces/blogs to just talk about being aro without the feeling to also be ace at the same time. So here is the space to do so. All aromantic's are allowed to talk here and vent about their aro struggles with navigating a world that's so romance heavy.

Boundaries and mod info below the cut.

Boundaries:

No radfems

No endo systems/endo system supporters.

Allowed:

Contradicting queer identitys.

Non-endo systems.

About them mod:

We are a traumagenic system who as a collective uses they/them pronouns. A lot of us are some level of aro and or ace. I chose to make this blog for one of our alters who needed a place like this that wasn't just talking to system members. We are also dyslexic and prone to spelling/grammar mistakes.

Celest. They/Star pronouns. tag #||🌌 (the one who made this blog, and likely will be the main runner) aro.

Moons. Any/They/Fae pronouns. tag #||🌙 (the bitch suffering from a qpr yearning so great it makes fae think faer have romantic attraction. (Ze doesnt.) ) aroaceflux.

Bird. She/He pronouns. tag #||🪶 . aroace.

Dez. They/Them pronouns. tag #||🍂 . Might be aro.

Lumi. She/They/Star/ It pronouns. tag #||✨ . Aroace flux.

Ae. He/Star pronouns. tag #||⛅ . aroace.

Unknown. They/them. Tag #||❔️. When we don't know who's in front/responding to asks at the time.

[turtleraccoonsoup]

CHAT whats the aromantic where you only feel romantic attraction to very few people and when you do its like really intense. and it's not demi or grey i dont think

[punksdocrimes]

Hey Aro Tumblr — there's this question that's been bugging me for months that I NEED an answer for. I couldn't ask it on Reddit bc I was site-wide permabanned for being too silly (said Nazis should be disheaded instead of simply disarmed 😧) and idk any other aro communities that I could ask. It only just occured to me that I could ask here.

OKAY SO - context:

I am demisexual. I have known this for a while. I need emotional and/or platonic attraction and connection before I can think ab having sex with someone. Sometimes I also just become completely detached from sex and don't want anything to do with it for a while. It's nothing crazy or groundbreaking — literally just demisexuality.

I have always felt this way sexually, but I never really considered that I could be demi until a friend came out as demi early last year and I was like "wtf that's me". I've been confident about my demisexuality since then.

So THIS is where it's relevant for you aromantic scrungly liches and prophets and wizards out there — for my ENTIRE life, I have always considered a strong platonic connection to be NECESSARY before I can think ab entering a committed romantic relationship. Platonic attraction is necessary for romantic attraction for me. It builds off of the platonic love.

This is considered demi-romanticism, right? I've never interacted with the aromantic community much at all because like, I used to consider myself hyper-romantic and the idea that I could be aro freaked me out in that "I'm not aro but oh God what if I am" existential kind of way.

Anyways — it never crossed my mind that demi-romantic was like... A thing.

However, I don't know if I'm actually demi-romantic?? Bc I have the same capacity for romantic attraction and love and yada as the average alloromantic, for me it just manifests from deep platonic attachment? IS THAT DEMI? Or do you need to experience romantic attraction in a noticeably lessened, weaker, or different way to be demi?

Idk if that makes sense I haven't slept in a day but like, I just want to know if I'm demi-romantic or not — even though I still experience the same potential for romantic attraction as an alloro, only that I need platonic connection to be built before romantic connection can be formed.

Tl;Dr — I want to know if demi-romanticism works in the same way as demi-sexuality; you can have the same desires, libido, whatever as the average allo or more you just require emotional and platonic connection before you can fuck

Thanks in advance I love you guys (platonically)

[scarlicbread27]

why do i experience butterflies for like friends etc? like i KNOW i don’t like them like that so why am i experiencing butterflies??

[ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity]

hi ! so Ive recently been questioning whether I'm arospec, do you have any advice or experience that could help ? I feel like I have no way of saying which of my feelings are romantic or just strong friendships and I feel like me being ace and not liking most things related to romantic relationships (kissing, sharing a bed etc) could also just be confusing me because it goes against stereotypical portraits of romantic relationships I've always seen. thank you !!

Hi there! I can share my experience with you as well as link you to a few posts that might help you :)

I’m greyromantic so it’s pretty rare that I experience romantic attraction/get crushes on people in general. Before I had a word for it I always wondered why everyone seemed so obsessed with romance and stuff and when dating people in high school I would sometimes avoid “romantic” actions or the relationship wouldn’t last long because I didn’t really feel anything, it was more about feeling like I was expected to date someone and I was never taken seriously when trying to say I wasn’t interested in anyone in the romantic way.

Like the thought of having a partner in the future is nice, but at the same time I also don’t fully see the appeal? Like the rare times I’ve been in a relationship with someone I had romantic feelings for I kinda understood, but outside of that when people talked about romance and stuff it’s always like “uh cool cannot relate” or like constantly trying to figure out how romantic attraction is supposed to feel

Like I tend to ask a million questions like “would this be considered romantic attraction” because even though I’ve experienced it, I still get confused by it and still don’t understand it

Even when I like someone romantically there’s still the part of me that just doesn’t understand romance or like doesn’t understand how people get crushes so easily and I struggle to relate when people talk about romantic stuff

This post is worth checking out and this post has a few different links for you to look at!

-Mod Elle

[yippeeepenid]

Holy shit wait- is there an orientation that like half aromantic ??? Not like Demi or grey where it’s only sometimes but like you only sorta feel attraction all the time?? I don’t really know how to explain it..... I just kinda like hit me. Because I don’t want a romantic relationship but aro has just never felt like me. Does this even make sense??? Has anyone else ever felt like this???

[ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity]

I sent some asks a while ago about being confused over my sexuality and saying "does this make me not a lesbian" and while I can't remember the context I wish to clarify that I did not mean to imply that arospec or acepsec lesbians were not lesbians or that lesbians attracted to non-women were not lesbians, what I meant was I was questioning my place on the arospec, sorry for any confusion!!

If you’re still looking for Aro information this has a few links you can check out!

-Mod Elle

[ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity]

Ahhhh????? I'm questioning whether or not I'm on the aro spectrum? Maybe demiromantic?? Because I just realized I've never understood heartbreak when relationships end because I don't get how romance can mean that much to people???? Like I don't understand how romantic attraction works or how it can be that intense???? And I've never in my life been sad when one of my relationships ended and I've never even been sure I wanted one??????? I'm so confused???????????????????????????

this post might be able to help you out!https://ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity.tumblr.com/post/182859410923/how-do-you-know-if-youre-aromantic-i-have-really-Mod Elle