25.07.2018
Everyday I wake up hoping to find a pleasant morning call from him. I want my day to go ok not perfect. But when the day itself starts with a fight, an argument.
That even is not the matter. I get pissed off when he just leaves me hanging. And when I confront, what was his fault and he was the one who did everything suddenly he turns everything towards me as if I have done everything. It's not just the first time. But it happens all the time.
I am a very sensitive person and I am very probe to get hurt by what people say. For me it's not about how I have to deal with my emotions. Because that's what people say. I can't change this. I have controlled a lot. I was great. But living alone again it really makes me vulnerable to being sensitive again.
I'm scared to get hurt so I don't let too many people close to me. And when the close ones make a small move I get hurt. It's a problem in me I'm not complaining about anybody.
I'm complicated and it's hard to live with me.
So basically I should just shut the fuck up.
