@thornsraised : " it's difficult to decide if this quiet is peaceful or not, " lilia says as he lowers his tea cup. with silver and sebek gone on this camping trip, things certainly feel different. " i can't help but wonder how they're doing... " not that he's worried about them, of course; he just hopes they're having fun and bonding with their clubmates.
the atmosphere is strangely quiet...too quiet. malleus had never anticipated missing the booming voice of his underclassman & bodyguard but this quiet is almost unnerving. silver’s absence in addition to sebek’s makes the difference even more significantly noticeable, the hallowed halls of the diasomnia dorm quiet & still. it feels strangely reminiscent of the days in malleus’ first year at night raven college & even more so of the decades before either boys were even thought of. it had been quiet then too, so still & hauntingly empty. they were lonelier times that malleus does not think fondly of. & perhaps in the future he shall not remember this time fondly either.
in the distance he can hear the footsteps of diasomnia students returning from lunch or afternoon activities. the footsteps do not still, do not stop by the lounge room but merely continue onward, growing fainter as the students head for the sleeping quarters. this is how it has been since the beginning, since the very first day he began attending night raven college. in most circumstances it does not bother him. malleus is well aware of the fear he naturally instills in others. it’s something he’s learned to live with over time. however this particular weekend the impact hits harder, his long stitched wounds torn open anew.
malleus takes a sip of his tea, an impassive expression on the prince’s face as he looks over at lilia sitting across from him. ❛ yes, it does feel quieter without them doesn’t it? i can imagine you’re experiencing some empty nest syndrome, hm? ❜ he’s purposefully taking the heat off of himself. he knows why lilia went out of his way to call him for tea. but malleus will not allow himself to be pitied. he’s not a child anymore no matter how lilia may see him. ❛ it has been some time since silver was without us. perhaps it will do him some good. ❜ the boy is so pure of heart even as he’s approaching adulthood. at times malleus fears what could become of him if he does not become wiser to the world around him.
for a few moments it’s quiet around them, the only sound being the pitter patter of rain falling from the castle roof & the faint sound of thunder in the distance. malleus lowers his teacup to its saucer, breath hot as he exhales. ❛ but i’m sure you have lots of things to attend to. were you not planning on attending some sort of video game tournament this evening? ❜
the fae rises to his feet, expression unchanged save for an almost mournful glint in his reptilian eyes. he’s pushing lilia away again. like malleus has always done when he feels too close to being nurtured. he doesn’t want to be nurtured, he doesn’t want to be pitied. this is simply the way things must be. ❛ there’s no need for you to entertain me, lilia. i have matters i need to attend to as well. ❜ he needs some fresh air. a walk around campus should do him some good. malleus gives a small bow as his head, giving his mentor only the briefest of glances before he begins to take his leave. ❛ thank you for the tea. i should return some time this evening. ❜ don’t look for me is the unspoken demand. eternal loneliness is an agonizing fate but it is the only thing malleus knows. & he’d rather live his life alone on his own terms than be humored by those who feel obligated to him. perhaps it’s an odd way to live but it’s how malleus intends to live for the inevitable future. aching heart be damned.