#asexual snape

[half-blood-prince-throne]

In June

Snape; It's my month

Dunbledore: you are gay?

Snape : I am Pancake. I am attracted to all (problems) but don't give any fuck

In July

Snape: It's my month

Minerva: this month is July

Snape: I am Autistic

Minerva: you don't look autistic

Snape (recite every potion ingredients by memory)

[sofiadragon]

Stripped Down and Rebuilt - Chapter 6 - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Spinners End had always been a hole. By the time he inherited the house in February of ‘82 it was an utter disgrace. It reeked of stale alcohol even after he’d cleared away the uncountable empty bottles and swept up the refuse that had built up in the corners of the living space. When he paid the utilities to have the water and gas turned on both leaked dangerously. The roof had needed replacing for so long that the various fungi living off the dripping water were the only thing keeping the plaster on the master bedroom wall.

He’d cleaned it up and tried to sell it to a muggle developer who would gut the place and make a respectable rental out of it, but the Ministry of Magic blocked the sale. It had been registered as a magical home when his mother moved in, and it was illegal to sell a magical home to muggles. He’d tried to argue that there was nothing whatsoever about the house that was magical, but without a sizable bribe to lever the fat old man in charge of housing permits out of his chair they wouldn’t check and refused to believe that a witch could live without basic household charms for two decades.

The only good thing that came of that confrontation was that someone believed that Tobias Snape was abusive scum, even if it wasn’t the person he’d been talking to. Landria Heartwood, a waspish woman with streaky salt and pepper hair that ran the Department of Family, had overheard his insistence that Tobias had snapped Eileen’s wand. She’d taken Severus to her office and, after a couple hours and a rather nice tea service, gotten enough of the story out of him to understand the situation properly. He’d started working with the Department of Family to track at-risk children and families using skills that were otherwise not of much use during peacetime. As a Head of House at Hogwarts he had a legitimate reason to visit families to talk about their children and ample opportunity to overhear rumors about poor treatment at home. If he added to those legitimate sources by slinking around pubs and crashing parties without being noticed or spent a month manipulating people into believing he would delight in sharing all their depraved proclivities, well, that was just what he was good at. He certainly looked the part when he chose to be seen at all.

[syndromealice-blog]

The fifth: Snape as asexual and panromantic

[degenderates]

people on tumblr will be like “snape stans are abuse sympathizers who just think he’s hot! y’all lick jkr’s boots!”

um.....WHERE are you getting that from???? all the snape stans i’ve met are kind, have mental health issues, prefer to discuss meta on snape rather than blindly stan him, headcanon him as ace or trans, don’t excuse his actions towards his students as teacher, multiship him with different people (not a single character you think is a self-insert), or don’t ship him with anybody at all, aren’t attracted to him (though of course those who are are valid)....but okay keep believing what you’re gonna believe.

[ottogatto]

Ace Snape - Heroic Doe

Neurodivergence

[dynazztyz-blog]

For some reason when I was a kid, I’ve always imagined Snape for being asexual. And after the whole twist with Lily, as much as I tried to get into the whole Snape/Lily thing, my brain wouldn’t just accept anything else.

[severusdefender]

lgbt+ snape month day 6

severus: i'm having an acellent day severus: me? go on a date? please give me some sp*ace* severus: don't hug me embr*ace* me minerva: stop. we get it flitwick: God you're so annoying

[sxvxrxssnape]

Snape and that time Gilderoy accidentally made him come out as asexual without realizing.

imagine gilderoy lockhart not understanding why snape hates him so much? he’s so good looking? smart? talented? why won’t the snape talk to him and swoon over him like everyone else??

so gilderoy is a man with a plan: he is going to make snape appreciate his wit and his charm by the end of the year or so merlin help him.

he gives snape special attention. sits beside him during meals, saves a spot for him during the staff meeting (once, the only available spot was next to lockhart and snape did a 180 and left the room; dumbledore had to retrieve him with an accio on his robes), and strategically places him outside snapes office before dinner so they can walk to the great hall together.

snape helping with dueling club? gilderoy’s idea. sarcastic commentary between snape and minerva? gild thinks snape is finally beginning to appreciate his abilities. valentines day?? gilderoy takes a chance and sends snape a card.

the scene:

“He’s nothing but a bumbling idiot.” Severus grumbled, as he let Minerva into his quarters.

“Oh, I’m sure his intentions are pure.” Minerva chuckled, settling herself into the sofa. “I’ll take two measures of whiskey, neat.”

Severus nodded and poured two glasses of expensive whiskey, handing her one.

“Odgen’s?” Minerva asked hopefully.

“Lumiere.” Severus shrugged, taking a slow sip and letting it burn his throat. “Another one of Lucius’ finds.”

“The French and their pretentious alcohol choices.” Minerva sneered, but took a drink anyway. “Anyway, what did the note say?”

Severus scowled, but pulled out a crumbled bit of paper. “An autograph, quite predictably. Honestly, if you’re going to court a man, then at least gift him things he wants.” He pointed his wand at the photo and set it on fire, brushing the ash off his lap.

“Are you telling me you’re interested?” Minerva asked, feigning disinterest.

“Merlin, no.”

“Are you interested in men, then, if I may be so bold?”

“You may not.” Severus scowled, his face tightening with anger. “And I’m not interested in anyone - of any gender. It’s a little thing I call ‘I hate everyone’.”

Minerva raised an eyebrow, but Severus was too engrossed in his bitter thoughts to realize what he just said.

“No one at all?” Minerva finally coughed.

Severus looked up, everything finally clicking into place. “No one here, I mean.” he corrected, but his words did nothing to ease the look on Minerva’s face. He sighed. “Does that make me strange?” he finally asked, unsure why he was even continuing this topic. He hadn’t meant to say it.

“Strange?” Minnie asked with a smirk, her free hand gesturing to a collection of jars filled with questionable ingredients. “Severus, you’re strange as it is. This may be the most normal thing about you.”