As an asexual, I do masturbate sometimes.
I'm drunk rn so I will probably regret venting like this in the morning, but here it comes: I'm asexual and I masturbate, out of... something. I'm not sure it's a need, more like a boredom.
Usually I lose interest in it halfway through. I regret it later. I feel dirty. And then after some time I do it again. I take a step farther. I use tools (which primary destination is definitely not this).
The only use I have out of this is a reference to the stories I write about romances I consider more full and normal than the ones I could ever create, if ever. I wish I didn't have a call or a habit to do it. It makes me feel empty afterwards. It leaves me with no particular thoughts, no fullfilment, just blankness of mind. I would rather get rid of it all and become a "true ace".
I'm not sure I will ever feel any different. I can only hope I am not the only one.
