#ashe.admin

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Back

Mum bought me upgrades for my PC with part of her tax returns.

There were a couple of unexpected issues, but a friend and I got my machine back up and running tonight.

It’s really weird because despite having a massive cooling system, Kyp’s the quietest he’s been since like...2001ish.

XIV runs really smooth and I was averaging around 50 - 55 fps steady. Hopefully J:FO is too - gonna wait till tomorrow to dive into that, cus I’m dead tired.

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Extended Hiatus from XIV

I’m taking a break from XIV, with no set time on when that’ll change.

The past year and a half, two years have had way more bad than good in them. A lot of the bad has come specifically from being involved in XIV. As more and more incidents occurred, the more I questioned whether or not sticking around was a good idea or not.

While I’m not cancelling my subscription, I’m not going to be doing any community-based shite. I might log in to try and keep up on content, or to decorate one of the living spaces I have, but most...I’m just done with XIV right now.

Everything has just left me with the lowest amount of faith in people I’ve had in the past 10 - 20 years. I really can’t think of any other thing I’ve been involved with that’s resulted in this much apathy and lack of desire for interaction.

The content-focus for this Tumblr’ll probably change because of this. If you started following for the XIV content, unfollowing now is totally understandable.

I’m just very done.

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Introducing Ashla Larte.

RDM and DNC will probably be the primary classes. I’ll probably go with SCH for healing.

More details to come!

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Update

I’ve changed Ashe’s name in-game, and adjusted tags for it.

I had something in mind for a character named Ashla and made the character, but almost immediately, RP drastically altered the character and some of her background to compensate. I still want to do that concept, so I’ve renamed the current character to Ashe Manasse.

Epis is going to be relegated to a low-level alt in-game, with RP primarily happening in Discord anymore. The character was made to RP with my then-OOC partner, and it’s just awkward playing the character now that we’ve separated. I do still love the character she was based on, I just have no interest in having her as a main character now.

Tomorrow, I’ll rename Epis to Ashla (with a dramatically different surname) and fantasia her.

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FFXIVwrite Table of Contents

ToCs for 2018 and 2019's stories.

Updated this with all the new stuff, in case it was missed.

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Missed the Day

Very early in the morning, I woke up just to take a drink, and when I shrugged off the bathrobe, there was splitting pain in my left shoulder and neck. Within a minute or two, I could barely turn my head and I could hardly lift my arm. While there wasn’t full-fledged numbing in my arm, I was getting the same feeling that happens right as numbing starts.

We went to the ED to get it checked out, in part due to the fact the pain was so bad, I couldn’t sleep further nor could I stay sitting up - both sitting up/standing up and lying down hurt to the point of getting dizzy from it.

Good news is that it wasn’t a heart attack, which was an immediate concern due to where the pain was. The bad news is that it’s likely a pulled muscle, rather than a pinched nerve, because of just how tender it was to touch yet still rock hard and unyielding to pressure.

In the end, I was given first a Toradol shot that didn’t work, then a shot of Dilaudid with a higher dose of baclofen. That at least let me get to sleep for a few hours. It’s still hurting a lot, so.

Unfortunately, that means I’m missing at least today, if not tomorrow for credit in the FFXIVwrite series. Which is really upsetting.

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I Live...

Still fighting bronchitis. The doxycycline makes me sick after I take it, in a different manner from bronchitis.

I’ve also had a marked rise in apathy with my two main characters.

I’m not happy with the AST changes at all, leaving my desire to even log into Claire next to nil. I haven’t even completed Eden for the week, and I love the new raids and their music.

With Ashe...

After months of stress that was generated by the drama surrounding one of Ashe’s RP partners, I broke off RPing with them. There wasn’t any discussion around any sort of RP resolutions - conversations just ended when I explained that I needed to back out of the RP due to how much it was messing with the Fibromyalgia.

That lack, however, has made for difficulty with figuring out what’s going on with Ashe currently. Mostly, I’ve written it off that she’s had to focus on running the company in the Commander’s absence (Claire’s mostly on the First ATM) while continuing her work with the Dalmascan Resistance. It’s...basic as hell and doesn’t really help all too much, but it’s the best I’ve got at the moment.

Recently, I was also made aware that the person just wrote the entire 6 - 7 months of RPs out of their story and history, to a much larger extreme than what they explained to me about how they handle the end of RP partnerships. This has made me even more ambivalent about Ashe because I’m torn between doing the same - just retconning everything, as they have - and keeping all the character development and story that occurred.

It was already difficult to try and figure out the post-split RP situation. This has made it harder, which makes wanting to play the character pretty difficult.

All that, on top of being sicker than usual.

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Medical Update

Back on the 7th, in the early, early morning, I ended up collapsing and blacking out. The back of my head felt like it had been ripped off when I came to. I was rushed to the ED, of course.

Before that, when I was in ICCU back in November, I had a similar experience. I got suddenly violently nauseous right as it felt like the back of my skull blew open. The pain lasted for an hour, maybe a little over.

That started to happen again in early December, but I think since I was laying down at the time, it abated pretty quickly.

Although it had to be a teleconference appointment, I just had a neurology follow-up for it. The current thought is that stress is causing massive spikes in my near-constant migraines. Migraine-array Botox shots, weekly injectable meds, and medicinal THC mostly keep the migraines at like a 3 instead of the 8 they were a decade ago, but she suspects the stress is blowing past all of that.

She’d like to get me on a super new, monthly injectable medication, but pre-auth requires that three of the current treatments fail to control them. I’ve been on two so far, plus the Botox. We’re starting another of the already-existing therapies, which will also put me at having tried three different types of meds. The fourth is a blood pressure medication, and I generally have low blood pressure, so she wants to avoid it.

While she’d like to do another EEG, those are on hold due to the pandemic. Unless I get another one of these spikes, it’s gonna have to wait.

On the upside, she mentioned that if I got more consistent with my T-shot, it should also help. I’m unfortunately terrible about taking it on the same day every week. Weekly meds are weirdly a lot harder for me to keep track of, heh.